In this episode we share a few items we keep around our offices and the meaning behind each one. Not only do you learn a little more about each of us, but each item we discuss ultimately leads to some discussing some tips and wisdom on simple things you can do to unlock your potential.
This was so much fun that it will likely become a feature in future episodes too 🙂
The Fire and Earth Podcast gives you practical advice and keys to unlocking your potential in life and business, hosted by Dr. Kathy Gruver and Jason Mefford. Real, raw and unscripted.
#fireandearthpodcast #whatsonyourdesk #potential
Transcript
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Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast, I’m your co host Jason Medford
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Kathy Gruver: And I am Kathy groomer, and we are so thrilled to have you here. Happy 2020 we have so many amazing things that we want to talk about. But you know, I was cleaning the other day because occasionally I have to do that and I was
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Jason Mefford: Not you don’t you don’t have to clean but it sure makes it nicer.
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, and we’re not doing an episode on cleaning that would please my mother greatly
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Kathy Gruver: I noticed I had some things on my desk and they for the average person, like if they looked at what was on my desk. They wonder
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Kathy Gruver: Why the heck is Kathy have all this crap on her desk, but
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Kathy Gruver: We all surround ourselves with things that make us feel comfortable we surround ourselves with things that remind us of people or ideas or ideals. And so we thought it would be interesting today to talk about what is on our desk and why we have that there what it reminds us of
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Jason Mefford: Well, and I think it’s important because I’m the same way if people walk into my office and kind of be like it’s it’s this eclectic little thing, and there’s
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Jason Mefford: I’ve got literally like a whole box of knickknacks out in the garage that I don’t have place to put anywhere in this House, plus my wife would kill me. But if I got them all out.
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Jason Mefford: But I have a few things. And I, and I think, you know, we all do this, but I think one of the reasons why we want to talk about this is
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Jason Mefford: If you think about, you know, you probably heard like Jim Rowan used to say, right, we’re, we’re a composition of the five people that we hang around with the most. Okay. And so having little things totems. Yeah, I know. It’s like don’t even
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Kathy Gruver: Don’t, don’t.
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Jason Mefford: Don’t go there right now.
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Jason Mefford: Having little things you know totems. Some people call them other things like that that that remind us of certain things is kind of like that.
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Jason Mefford: You know as well that the more that we can surround ourselves with things and people that help us be our best self.
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Jason Mefford: That’s going to help us. That’s why we wanted to talk about it to, maybe, you know, you’ll see a little how we are to I guess by some of the weird stuff we have on our desk. Okay.
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Kathy Gruver: I think i think i think our viewers know by now that we’re a little different.
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Kathy Gruver: I’m gonna say this is or what 57th episode or
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Jason Mefford: something close to close to 60
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Kathy Gruver: I think they’ve noticed. Yeah, okay.
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Jason Mefford: All right. So Kathy, you want to go first.
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Kathy Gruver: Yes. Okay, so I don’t remember where this came from.
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Kathy Gruver: But I have the future always starts now postcard taped to my desk, because it’s a reminder to me that we always have the ability to
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Kathy Gruver: We can’t change the past, but we can alter the present to make the future different. And so, this reminds me, not only to stay present because it talks about starting now.
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Kathy Gruver: But at any given point, we can make a different choice with every exhale we can make a different choice about how we want to shape our future and having this. They’re just sort of reminds me
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Kathy Gruver: That I am creating my reality. I am creating what’s going to come next. So I love having I’m not a big words person. I didn’t have words. I didn’t have more symbols, but this just just resonated so it’s been taped up, clearly it’s got like 30 different pieces of tape.
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Kathy Gruver: Been taped up a lot. So I love this reminder
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Jason Mefford: When it is a good reminder. Because again, you know, a lot of times people get stuck because they’re there. Will you know
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Jason Mefford: Worry is more about the future. I guess maybe regret is more about the past. And so you know so much of the time we sit there and we regret.
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Jason Mefford: What happened in the past, and we just kind of stay here and again it’s like that slap in the face of but you know why your future can be what you make it and your future starts now. So if you want your future to be different start now.
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Kathy Gruver: Danger present
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Jason Mefford: Change your present right
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Jason Mefford: And you’ll be able to get there to the future. So
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Kathy Gruver: Wise words.
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Jason Mefford: Good point, good point, good point.
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Kathy Gruver: What about markers.
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Jason Mefford: Alright, so first one here. The closest one to me is
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Jason Mefford: The Yoda right
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Jason Mefford: So again, for all I am a nerd. Right. That’s probably. I mean, you can tell because I have a Yoda on
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Jason Mefford: on my desk that
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Jason Mefford: I’m a little bit of a nerd. Right. But it’s, um, you know, I’ve always loved the character Yoda. And one of the things that I tried to be is wise and so to me, Yoda represents this wisdom, this, this being that didn’t really talk very much but when he talked right
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Jason Mefford: You want to listen.
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Jason Mefford: And sometimes when he talked you were sitting there kind of shaking your head like, what the fuck is he say
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Kathy Gruver: First, or well, but he
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Jason Mefford: Yeah. Yeah, right.
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Jason Mefford: In and I also love love the imagery of it to that here. He was this very small creature in stature, but very powerful.
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Jason Mefford: Right, you know, and one of his one of the lines from the movie that I love is, you know, judge me by my size do you, you know, and, and then he whips out his lightsaber. And he starts kicking everybody’s ass right
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Jason Mefford: That, you know, again, even though we may be small. We can be mighty and we can you know he was a Jedi trainer that we can train to become our best self, we can become a Jedi, you know, if you will.
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Jason Mefford: by by by taking and doing those things that we need to. So yo does on my desk to remind me at times when I’m kind of feeling small and, you know, like maybe I can’t do it, or I’m not as smart as I should be that he reminds me to be wise and to be mighty
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Kathy Gruver: Well, and that’s a great point because you never know where that wisdom is going to come from and half the time. I think we learned the most from animals or children or, you know,
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Kathy Gruver: So that reminder on there that that we all have that wisdom in that power inside of ourselves as fabulous. So I’m a nerd, too. I don’t have a Yoda.
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Kathy Gruver: Denton, Denton, Mr. Miyagi
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Jason Mefford: Mr. Miyagi
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Jason Mefford: Wax on, wax off.
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Kathy Gruver: I was, first of all, I love Karate Kid. I had a crush on rough match. Yeah, but that’s a whole nother episode, who are childhood crushes
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Kathy Gruver: Oh boy.
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Kathy Gruver: enlightening. I think
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Kathy Gruver: But I’ve got Mr. Miyagi for a couple same reason you have Yoda. It’s that reminder to stay present is that reminder to
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Kathy Gruver: Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want that sort of thing. And, but also Mr. Miyagi was a character who taught Daniel through
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Kathy Gruver: practicality, like he didn’t sit him down and teach a martial arts. He taught him how to wax on, wax off and wash the car and scrape the floor and you do all this stuff. And the other thing is reminds me of is the friend who gave this to me.
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Kathy Gruver: He and I were having a conversation back and forth about wisdom and he said something about Mr. Miyagi and I so that’s very wise if you could actually give me a Mr. Miyagi so I could carry that wisdom with me and about three days later this showed up in the mail.
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Kathy Gruver: Though it was that reminder of people who do think about you and want you to move forward and
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Kathy Gruver: Like accomplish things in the chief things and it was just so funny because I had made this just sort of general asked. Oh, you could just send me a Mr. Miyagi
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Kathy Gruver: I didn’t even know this existed. Like, I met conceptually and this showed up. So I used to travel with us and I took pictures of it all over the world. So
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Jason Mefford: The shelf. Yeah, I used to
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Kathy Gruver: Keep it in my purse and when I traveled places I would take pictures of historic sites with Mr. Miyagi in front of it. But anyway, so yeah, so this is my Yoda. No, that’s
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Jason Mefford: Well, and I, you know, it’s, um,
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Jason Mefford: I think the Mr. Miyagi character to like you said he taught Daniel through practicality, but I think, you know, again, it will it’s it’s a reminder to all of us.
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Jason Mefford: There. Daniel was Washington. The car painting the fan sand on the floor and he’s thinking I’m just doing all these chores for this old man, he and he’s not even teaching me karate.
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Jason Mefford: But he, he was making a lot of progress without actually realizing it. Yeah, and I think that’s a good reminder for all of us.
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Jason Mefford: That you know we accomplished far less than a day than we think we can. But in three months or a year we accomplished way more than we would expect and and a lot of times it’s what seems to be the mundane things like standing the floor painting.
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Jason Mefford: The fence doing your daily affirmations doing
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Jason Mefford: So meditation, doing some self help gnosis. You know, eating better and and we don’t notice how much we’re growing
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Jason Mefford: In the short term, until you know that I love that scene, you know, we’re Daniels just pissed. He’s like, Come on, you know, teach me karate. He’s like, Oh, I show you, you know, sand, the floor, and he’s like,
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Jason Mefford: You know, and he keeps blocking them.
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Kathy Gruver: That’s a great thing.
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Jason Mefford: And. And I think, you know, at that point, again, it’s, it’s just that reminder of all the little work that we do makes makes a huge difference because when we get into that situation when we need it, it’s there, even though we don’t realize it.
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Kathy Gruver: Yes, and I think I think it also has to do with trust.
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Kathy Gruver: Because he kept doing the tasks until that final scene where he’s like, Okay, I’m done, I’m out, like, Well, I don’t get
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Kathy Gruver: And it’s also about progress and you touched on it. So, you know, we get further in those three months. And I’ve had clients who come into my office in pain, and there are
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Kathy Gruver: 10 or nine and they can’t even I had been I had one woman who couldn’t even stand in the shower for 10 minutes without having to like stop and rest and sit down.
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Kathy Gruver: She couldn’t go grocery shopping sure to stop on the cart for five or 10 minutes and rest because her back was so bad. And after a couple weeks in the massage and the structuring of the chiropractic
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Kathy Gruver: I said, how you doing, she goes male. I’m not getting any better. I mean, I could only I can only play basketball with my kids for 20 minutes today and I went
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Jason Mefford: To 20 minutes
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, did you use to not be able to walk around the grocery store used to not able to take a shower. You’re now playing 20 minutes of basketball with your kids and she went
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, I mean, like she didn’t. Excuse me. She didn’t realize that progression. I thought that was fabulous. That, you know, this is why we do the scale of one to 10
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Kathy Gruver: Because you don’t necessarily know that you’re making that progress. Just like when you’ve not seen someone for a while. And you’re like, oh my god, you’re so tall or your hair so long, or you lost all this weight.
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Kathy Gruver: You don’t see that on a daily basis. You see that over time. So that’s what my little my little me August for
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Mr. Miyagi
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Jason Mefford: Lovely.
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Jason Mefford: All right, so what am I going to pick next
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Jason Mefford: How many we’re going to end up doing. So here I’ll maybe do this one.
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Kathy Gruver: Better
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Jason Mefford: I know you don’t you used to see these everywhere, right.
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Jason Mefford: Just for a little while they were the craze. They had to like ban them at schools because the kids were just like playing with them all the time.
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Jason Mefford: But I have a Fidget spinner. And it’s actually a colorful one right because I like color. But why I have this sitting here is because I sit a lot in my desk.
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Jason Mefford: And, you know, as we’re, you know, doing videos are doing work, a lot of times we need to kind of shake things up a little bit.
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Jason Mefford: So we end up getting, you know, because again, most of the time. After about 15 or 20 minutes we get kind of stuck you know whatever we’re doing so that’s why getting up moving around doing
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Jason Mefford: Something, especially when you think about the brain if we’ve been doing something very much that’s left brain centric. Sometimes we kind of get locked up in that in that brain and we can’t
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Jason Mefford: We can’t think we don’t know what it is to do. And so we have to think it’s called cross hemispheric or something like that, where we try to get something over into the right brain.
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Jason Mefford: Even for just a minute to be able to help you reset what you’re doing. And so, you know, people that are listening. You may have done this right where you’re sitting there. You’re like, thinking, thinking, thinking, trying to solve some problem and you just can’t solve it.
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Jason Mefford: And then you get up and you go take a shower and in the middle of the shower. You go ding. There’s the answer right.
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Jason Mefford: This is what we’re talking about. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s kind of that switching, you know, kind of thing. And so the fidget spinner helps me a little bit, because again, as I’m sitting
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Kathy Gruver: Here.
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Jason Mefford: You know, maybe talking with a client for an hour, I can pick up this fidget spinner and out out of camera view. You can’t see it right now, but I’m doing this right. And so this little movement of my body actually helps me to kind of recalibrate as well and keep going. That’s great.
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Kathy Gruver: And it’s interesting because I had a client a massage client.
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Kathy Gruver: Is he asked yesterday. He said, You know, I find myself shaking my leg a lot like spastic Lee shaking my leg. When I’m at my desk.
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Kathy Gruver: And I said, Well, does it bother you isn’t hurting your knee is hurting your legs like no I just know I should be doing that.
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Kathy Gruver: And I said, well, I said it could just be a nervous habit. I said, but also sometimes in moving our body like that. It calms us down to the point where we can focus when I was working for the documentary film company. We did an hour episode on autism. We went to an autism camp.
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Kathy Gruver: Now, these kids.
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Kathy Gruver: Are so not
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Kathy Gruver: And if you gave them a task if you gave them an activity with their hands. Specifically, so we used to give them trays of shaving cream.
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Kathy Gruver: And they would play in the shaving cream that sensory activity or if you would spend them really fast.
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Kathy Gruver: That would give them focus. So I think it’s the same thing as a Fidget spinner or the guns guy, shaking his leg. And he goes, you know, he goes, Yeah, I actually concentrate better with my leg going
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Kathy Gruver: So, for some reason, it takes that nervous energy to this one specific part and allows your brain to just focus on that thing. So I think that’s great. I actually have a Fidget spinner as well. Mine has different colors. So when
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Kathy Gruver: It looks like a kaleidoscope. And I use it as an induction tool for hypnosis.
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Kathy Gruver: Oh, wow. Yeah, Michael.
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, totally. Well,
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Jason Mefford: In I think it’s good to you know it’s like my son had some some learning issues.
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Kathy Gruver: Right.
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Jason Mefford: And and and a lot of times, like again in
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Jason Mefford: In a traditional school setting you know you’re expected to sit, you know, feet on the floor. Hands on your desk, you know, kind of thing not moving. And for a lot of people like him if if he was chewing gum or doing some other bodily activity as well because it’s very kinesthetic
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Jason Mefford: It actually helps to kind of relax you and allow you to work on the other stuff, just like you said, with those autistic kids, you know,
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Jason Mefford: And so, you know, doing some of these little things like that. It’s all right. You know, you can even go if your legs are crossed, you know, cross them the other way. Well, just by doing that, it ends up kind of re rebooting your brain, if you will, and helping you to kind of keep going. So, exactly.
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Kathy Gruver: Exactly. All right, so
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Kathy Gruver: I’m pulled a couple things. But I don’t want to do that. I’m going to stand up and get another thing.
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Kathy Gruver: Because this keeps coming back. It’s a recurring theme.
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Jason Mefford: Hello Snow White.
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Kathy Gruver: Hello, hello. So for those of you who have not tuned into the multiple episodes. We’re talking about Snow White. So when I was in my coaching training we went around the room.
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Kathy Gruver: And people shout it out traits that they saw on you. And then people you got we got into groups and we talked about what traits, people would like to see in you. And for some reason, people thought I was a hard ass.
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Kathy Gruver: So,
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Kathy Gruver: Most people but
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Jason Mefford: Smack down smack
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Kathy Gruver: Right. You know, so they wanted to see the more sensitive vulnerable like emotional side which I have a huge one. I’m incredibly empathetic and I cried, everything
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Kathy Gruver: But not in that setting the ego state that I was bringing forward was very business as usual. Get your shit done. Kathy and so they wanted to see more of that. And so I had to spend the rest of the day being Snow White.
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Kathy Gruver: So when I was walking through CBS several days ago several weeks ago, actually, by this point, and I saw this doll it’s it’s a Barbie kind of thing.
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Kathy Gruver: It’s Disney Princess Royal shimmer, but I was like okay, I need to put this on my desk so
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Kathy Gruver: This just reminds me. Not only that, we have choices and what he goes that we bring forward and we’ve talked about this multiple times, but it also does remind me to sort of soften a bit
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Kathy Gruver: And to let my sensitive side out in business, because I think that’s okay. I mean, we can’t cry at the drop of a hat, but
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Kathy Gruver: We do have the ability to mesh all of our personality types mesh all of our ego states and bring that sensitivity out, you know, I was going to do the unicorn that poops chocolate but that’s what does that mean
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Kathy Gruver: I got all sorts of crap on my desk, but I
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Jason Mefford: Well, we’re gonna have to do another
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Jason Mefford: Episode anyway because we’ve got lots of other stuff. And I think this is actually, it’s a great way of
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Jason Mefford: Bringing up kind of some practical things people can do but also talk about lots of different topics at the same time and kind of why why these things are important because there’s still all things that we’re trying to talk about for unlocking potential that
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Kathy Gruver: Exactly. And we can anchor these things. I mean, I’ve had clients anchor things on their desk that when they look at that thing. It reminds them. Oh, I should breathe or, oh, that takes me back to the beach or, oh, you know, whatever it is.
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Kathy Gruver: It maybe it’s a person. I mean, I have a picture of my dad on my desk. I have an old Christmas card from him because it reminds me of him and the love he had for me and it makes me feel a little closer. So it’s like we should we set our
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Kathy Gruver: Our space we surround ourselves with things that trigger things in us. So not only should kind of be clutter free which can say now.
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Kathy Gruver: You want to organize, however, that works for you, whether it’s piles or files or drawers.
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Kathy Gruver: But also surround yourself with things, even if it’s one little touchstone one little thing that reminds you to be productive to be happy to be healthy to bring out those states in yourself that you don’t maybe always have like to have
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Kathy Gruver: Like
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Kathy Gruver: It actually because you brought up.
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Jason Mefford: You brought up anchoring right so here’s, here’s another one that I have two little badass button.
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Jason Mefford: Okay, and so it actually, it actually makes noise to right when you click it, because it’s like this.
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Jason Mefford: Is easy button kind of thing, right. So,
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Jason Mefford: That’s one of the things that it says right. This was actually there’s that book, you’re a badass. It’s Jen since Cerro are gonna say her last name wrong.
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Jason Mefford: But she she wrote a book, you know, you’re a badass. She’s got a couple of different badass books that I’ve gone through and read. And again, it’s, it’s a lot of that reminder of kind of pumping yourself up that a lot of times we don’t realize how badass. We really are.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, and we just need to remind ourselves of that. So, so, you know, my wife got me one of her other books and she found she found this little button.
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Jason Mefford: So I have it sitting on my desk, because, you know, again, if there’s times when maybe I’m I’m feeling a little down I reach over and I hit the
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Jason Mefford: You know, and that one says you can do it right.
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Jason Mefford: You can do it. I mean, she had a fun time. I’m sure you know, recording all this stuff for it.
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Jason Mefford: But it’s so, so it can be used as a reminder that way. But I’ve also used it as an anchoring
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Jason Mefford: Technique. So we’ve talked. I think a little bit before about anchoring on the show. Right. It’s like, you know, doing something that you normally
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Jason Mefford: Don’t do as a way to anchor a feeling to anchor something right. And so again, a lot of times after I I say and write my belief statements in the morning I’ll reach over and at the end of it.
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Jason Mefford: Hit that badass button as a way to kind of anchor. What I’m doing right i mean Mike Mandela talked about her, you know, doing things like putting your
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Jason Mefford: Your, your ring finger ring finger and your thumb.
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Jason Mefford: Together. You’re awesome anchor, right, because by doing that, it, it actually anchors and so i mean you know this from like hypnosis to right i mean you you you induct yourself into a hypnotic state and you know you could use things like the spinner to do it.
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Jason Mefford: You’re walking down stairs, whatever it is, but it’s an induction kind of anchor to help you get to that point.
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Jason Mefford: And so the same thing. You know, like one of the self hypnosis ones that I’ve used
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Jason Mefford: You know starts off with, you know, closing your eyes and getting you to say the word yes
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Jason Mefford: Mm hmm. And as part of it every time you hear the word yes you will go deeper into trance and you
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Jason Mefford: will relax in every time you hear, yes. Every time you hear. Yes. So guess what by going through that program so many times. If I’m freaking out.
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Jason Mefford: I just need to close my eyes and say yes to myself a few times and it anchors myself back to that calm trance relaxation kind of stayed because I’ve, I’ve trained myself here. We are a Daniel and Mr. Miyagi
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Jason Mefford: Right, I’ve kind of trained myself and anchored some of those things to whatever that happens to be so anchoring is actually a good thing for you to be able to kind of relive and get back to to whatever it is that you’re that you’re trying to do. Yeah, I’m just looking
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Kathy Gruver: at my desk at all the different that because I’m also facing a bookcase. So I’ve got a, you know, it’s like all everything reminds us of something
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Kathy Gruver: Everything anchors us into something. So, of course, once again we blend through our 20 minutes. I think this was a fun show. So I think we should go out with one of the other things on my desk, because it’s just goofy.
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Jason Mefford: Is it, is it a goofy. No, no.
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Jason Mefford: No, I don’t. It’s just goofy.
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Kathy Gruver: You just it’s goofy. So this is my little dancing guy.
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Kathy Gruver: So I think as you
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Kathy Gruver: Go down to just remind ourselves to do a little chair dancing. All right, and we’ll see you next time I’m Kathy Gruber. I can be reached at Kathy Gruber calm.
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Jason Mefford: And I’m Jason method I can be reached at Jason effort com so go out dancing your chair unlock your potential and we’ll see you on the next episode of the fire and earth podcast. See ya, yet.
