Hoʻoponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. The Hawaiian word translates into English simply as correction or “to make double right.” In this #fireandearthpodcast episode we are joined by Mark Lakowske to discuss how this concept of reconciliation and #forgiveness is used in #hypnotherapy.
Too often we try to fight ourselves and instead need to forgive and disassociate ourselves from the problem. When we change ourselves, we change the world around up.
Mark Lakowske is a hypotherapist with Healing Artistry Therapies – Hypnosis and Coaching, that helps people quickly go from stuck to SUCCESSFUL, Anxiety & depression to ACTION TAKER, from hopeless to a HIGH FLYING LIFE!
Learn more about Mark at: https://www.mdlhealingartistry.com/
The Fire and Earth Podcast gives you practical advice and keys to unlocking your potential in life and business, hosted by Dr. Kathy Gruver and Jason Mefford. Real, raw and unscripted.
#fireandearthpodcast
Transcript
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Jason Mefford: Welcome everybody to another episode of the fire and earth podcast, I’m your co host Jason Medford
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Kathy Gruver: And I am Kathy Gruber. And we are so excited to have a another phenomenal guest on the show. I’m not about to try to pronounce. What is gonna be talking about today. So we’ll leave that to him.
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Kathy Gruver: But we’ve got one of my very dear friends, Mark look house key who I know from hip no thoughts live again we have another hypnotist hypnotherapist joining us
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Kathy Gruver: But we’re excited to have Mark So Mark, tell us a little bit about you, your background. And what is that long word you’re going to be talking about
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Mark D. Lakowske: That long word. Well, my name is Mark to the house key, and I am out of Wisconsin. And I know Kathy for quite a long time. She knew me when I had hair.
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Mark D. Lakowske: In a while.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And I work with people here in my office in Wisconsin, but all over the world as well.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And what I’m really passionate about is really helping them to break free from those struggles of anxiety and worry and one of the processes that I use with them is hypnotic whole Ponyo. Ponyo. And sometimes I do say that wrong myself so don’t worry if you get it wrong.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Yes, a job.
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Kathy Gruver: With us
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Oh,
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Mark D. Lakowske: No.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Oh no. Beautiful. Good. That reminds me, the Sesame Street near far
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Jason Mefford: Oh,
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Oh, no, no.
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Mark D. Lakowske: All right, well done.
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Mark D. Lakowske: gold stars for everyone.
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, so, so, Mark.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Thanks for having me.
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Jason Mefford: So, so what. So what does that mean then right i mean it’s it’s this big long word that’s hard for us to pronounce but
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Mark D. Lakowske: Right.
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Jason Mefford: What does that mean, how, how are you now kind of incorporating that in to help people get rid of this anxiety.
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Jason Mefford: Because everybody everybody feels some anxiety right and
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Mark D. Lakowske: Everyone has it. Everyone has stuff. And, you know, here’s the thing about anxiety. It’s normal, natural, we’re supposed to have it. It’s that
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Mark D. Lakowske: That’s that part of us that keeps us alive and say, if it’s our fight, flight, and freeze, but we are stupid humans, we don’t turn it off. We don’t dial it down.
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Mark D. Lakowske: So, you know, hola Ponyo. Ponyo it translated it means to make right and to make double right
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Mark D. Lakowske: And you know us as healers. Isn’t that kind of what we want to do, that’s kind of our job is to not only help people to make things right for themselves but to make it so right for themselves, that it doesn’t come back.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And so the idea and practice of hope. Ponyo. Ponyo. It’s, it’s old. It’s very, very old. It’s been going back for centuries practice in various different ways. But the whole idea is to basically
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Mark D. Lakowske: Take what you’re dealing with whatever it is and let it go. Let it go with love and forgiveness and surrender to let it go with
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Mark D. Lakowske: Healing and gratitude so that you don’t have to continue carrying that with you the next day.
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Mark D. Lakowske: In one of the earliest practices of it. The idea was to release your troubles to the setting sun and literally cutting that cords between you and it and letting the sun, take that away as it set so that the next day you could start fresh and start new
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Jason Mefford: Okay, so this is this is actually really interesting for me, right, because I’ve been to 48 of the 50 states. I haven’t been to Hawaii. Yeah.
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Jason Mefford: Okay, which it sounds like. Again, this word is from Hawaii. That’s right. Yep. And, and one of the things that people talk about that I want to do is when the sun goes down.
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Jason Mefford: On certain of the islands. It’s like the big social thing to do. You grab your beach chair you go out and you sit on the road.
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Jason Mefford: And everybody just sits
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Jason Mefford: There and watches the sun go down.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, so it’s Baikal okay now you know that there’s probably a lot deeper
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Jason Mefford: Reason, probably for that tradition than probably people actually even realized today, but it’s like, wow, yeah. Just let it go. The sun is going down, it’s the end of that day. It’s going to come up tomorrow.
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Jason Mefford: Right, and it’s going to be different because we’ve let today.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Go and tomorrow is a new day that’s giving yourself that opportunity.
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Mark D. Lakowske: For tomorrow to be different as well.
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Kathy Gruver: Well, and I love what you’re saying because I’ve had so many people asked me, you know, what does it mean talk therapy and hypnotherapy nicely look talk therapy has its place. I love it.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Yeah.
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Kathy Gruver: Absolutely. So in terms of talk therapy. You know how many times can you tell that story about your mother before you have to just release that feeling, figure out what the core issue is with that and let it
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Kathy Gruver: Go to great
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Kathy Gruver: Song, as opposed to continue to rehash it
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Mark D. Lakowske: Yeah.
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Kathy Gruver: I’m here with you. That’s that symbolism of almost like that sympathetic magic of
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Mark D. Lakowske: Letting
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Kathy Gruver: Things go, whether it’s through the sunset or whether it’s flushing down the toilet or sitting in the bathtub and as the water drains that feeling.
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, to and I was triggered yesterday from some past hurt and they literally called a therapist friend of mine and say,
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Kathy Gruver: How do I let go of this past hurt so that it doesn’t affect me on my present and my future relationships and she had this amazing advice, which was, you know, sit down with your new self and your old self, and have a conversation I had to go shape.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Yeah.
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Kathy Gruver: That it reminded me of this letting things go with love and kindness and assuring yourself at the next day. Something is going to be different. So I love to what is the what is the process of doing whoa opponent opponent.
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Mark D. Lakowske: It’s different for everyone. It’s different for every culture throughout the years I learned this process.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Through the school that I went to, for clinical hypnosis and therapeutic coaching and when we did it there.
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Mark D. Lakowske: I loved it. I fell in love with it. But it was just a small piece and I started using with clients. And I’m like, I feel like I’m only getting to the tip of the iceberg with this.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And so I started incorporating more hypnosis into it and I started incorporating more
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Mark D. Lakowske: Visual pieces to it and I started really looking back at the tenets of hope. Ponyo. Ponyo of, you know, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And really adding that piece a little more largely into the hypnotic component of it so that people can really, really allow themselves to release things
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Mark D. Lakowske: You know the process that I do with people is really about going inside into themselves taking responsibility for having either created or allowing that negative part that they want to release.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And then forgiven themselves for having created or allowed it.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Thinking it for the positive things that it did bring into their life because I firmly believe that no matter what we go through in life that is deemed negative
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Mark D. Lakowske: We are granted some good learning there that we wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. So taking that good stuff from that experience.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Thinking it with gratitude thinking yourself because sometimes when we’re going through things. We’re just doing the best we can.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And people forget that we’re doing the best that we can. So really honoring where you’re at, thanking yourself for being there for yourself in that way at that time.
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Mark D. Lakowske: But now you know better. And now that you know better. You can do better. And then with love just taking that piece.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And releasing it and the way I do it with people is I allow them to represent whatever the problem is
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Mark D. Lakowske: I tell them to have their unconscious mind come up with a picture and image representation that combines all of that stuff that they don’t want
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Mark D. Lakowske: And we allow them to take it from inside of themselves, because a lot of times people think that they are their problems. They’re not their problems.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And so often my clients come in and they’re trying to fight themselves and they can’t fight themselves.
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Mark D. Lakowske: They feel like I am so anxious. I am so depressed. Well, no, you aren’t depressed. You aren’t anxious, you’re not anxiety, you’re dealing with those symptoms, you’re dealing with those problems.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And so what I found with hypnotic whole Ponyo. Ponyo is that people can take those things and move them outside of themselves to just associate themselves from the problem.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And when that can happen healing can be become very, very quickly and very, very easily for them in a way that they didn’t get to experience that before.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And what’s really cool is when they’re able to sever those cords or burn it away, or however they want to represent that releasing what is so cool is you can physically see a physical shift in the person just like that, which is so cool.
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Kathy Gruver: I love that you’re reminding people that we are not our problems we are not we are not our fill in the blank because
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Kathy Gruver: You know, I’m a cancer patients.
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Kathy Gruver: Know,
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Kathy Gruver: You’re a human being that has this thing right now.
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Kathy Gruver: I think so this is this and I have so many people who benefited from the programs. A na all these things, but to say your Brandon alcoholic.
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, like up part of it. And I don’t want to step on anybody’s toes with if that program has worked for you, great, but that this is
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Kathy Gruver: Lightweight identification with those things.
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Kathy Gruver: Because you’re carrying that around forever. Now, you know, I’m an abused woman I’m a divorced woman I’m a whatever it is you know it’s like we identify with those things that aren’t truly who we are, what we are
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Kathy Gruver: Right being were being having this experience right now. And so I think it’s great that we remind people that we take it outside of them, allow them to process that out.
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Kathy Gruver: This is a phenomenal technique that and this is something we’ve really not talked about yet. Jason I have talked about doing an episode on emotion.
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Kathy Gruver: And this kind of
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Kathy Gruver: In this kind of sense. And we haven’t yet. So this is perfect timing.
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Jason Mefford: But, but it’s interesting too because as as you’re saying things like that, you know, I’m an alcoholic. I’m a cancer patient, whatever, right, that when we do that, we are in fact kind of creating those identity states.
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Jason Mefford: Are the most states that we we have talked a lot about but
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Jason Mefford: But us kind of doing that ruminating over it saying those things. I think that’s a great analogy mark that you said you know it’s like it’s like it’s like we’re fighting each other, you know, you’re a bad person. Because, boom, you know, and we
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Jason Mefford: We kind of hit ourselves with it and you do that enough and you and you kind of create that other egos state within you have that identity that we
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Jason Mefford: So what’s your what you’re really doing, you know, again, like you said, you know, you get in this hypnotic state you go inside yourself. You take responsibility for it kind of process to understand it, thank it
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Mark D. Lakowske: Right.
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Jason Mefford: Because, again, I think that’s, that’s what I was at I was listening to another podcast. This morning, actually. And it was they were talking about, you know, kind of, again, pushing through the pain.
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Jason Mefford: Right being grateful for the pain.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Know,
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Jason Mefford: That a lot of times we forget that there’s there’s something we’re learning from us. So we should be grateful from it.
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Jason Mefford: Right important last step is then release it.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Right. Right. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, part of the process that I do with people along those same lines, is, you know, I love the person once we have been a disassociation from the problem.
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Mark D. Lakowske: We allow the person then to speak to that part and have a conversation with it and I let them know you know now is the time that you need to lay it all out on the table.
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Mark D. Lakowske: We want to leave with no regrets. So make sure that you say everything that you need to say and explain
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Mark D. Lakowske: To that problem to that part. Everything that you needed to know and you needed to hear and get it out of you and off of your chest.
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Mark D. Lakowske: So that it can truly understand what it’s been doing to you what has been going on in your life because of it that you’re taking responsibility and ownership of yourself and you’re taking yourself back to yourself and that part is no longer needed any longer. So it’s okay to go
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Kathy Gruver: Oh, it’s so good. You’re saying because I’m studying resource therapy or
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Kathy Gruver: Ego soon we talked about the egos so much we had Mike my fellow on for a couple shows who is
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Kathy Gruver: Brilliant. Um, but one of the things in the program that we talk which call those people who have been on our past interjects whether it’s the mean dance teacher or the abuse of uncle or and there’s a whole interject speaks thing where you put that
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Kathy Gruver: Person for lack of the word in the chair opposite of you and you could just say whatever you want. And so because the, the issue that was triggered for me yesterday was whether someone from my past actually had this long.
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Kathy Gruver: Drawn out affair and cheated on me and perhaps got this woman pregnant. Well, I will never know when that actually happened. He the time, could I find him sit them down and say did you do that thing.
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Kathy Gruver: Probably not. Maybe
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Kathy Gruver: Yes or No point in my life would. I would. That loop be closed, and my friend Tina, who we also had on the show was was smart enough to say
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Kathy Gruver: This is just going to be open. You have to find a way to resolve this with yourself. Because even if you talk to that person, you’re not going to be satisfied. So right
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Kathy Gruver: You. How can you sit down with that aspect of you that is still hurt by this are still unsettled about this and solve it from that and it’s
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Kathy Gruver: It could easily put them in a chair and interject have a whole conversation with them back and forth and solve that problem. So it sounds
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Kathy Gruver: Similar to what you’re talking about, which is, I love this. We, we, Jason I get all
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Jason Mefford: synchronicities yeah well because because actually, as we’re as we’re talking about it. It’s almost like
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Jason Mefford: You know, I’m thinking about it, you know, again, you use the word interjects right as far as and again it’s it’s really kind of like these different ego states that we have and it’s almost as if we’re having a compassionate breakup discussion.
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Jason Mefford: With someone right like
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Jason Mefford: Like you know we we’ve been together for a long time. We’ve had some good times. I’ve learned a lot from you but it’s it’s really I’m at I’m at a point in my life right now where this relationship is no longer serving me
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Mark D. Lakowske: Mm hmm.
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Jason Mefford: And so we we need to kind of break it off.
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Jason Mefford: You know I’m grateful.
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Jason Mefford: For what you did. But I’ve kind of moved past this now and I don’t need that anymore.
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Jason Mefford: And you’re not you’re not in your head, barks.
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Jason Mefford: Effectively what we’re doing, but in a hypnotic trance.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Yep.
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Jason Mefford: And kind of speaking to those ego states is word we’ve used a lot on here that people might resonate with of of kind of talking it through it and then we can actually just
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Mark D. Lakowske: And release it.
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Jason Mefford: And like you said, that’s, that’s where a lot of times, you know, those, those physical because both, both of you were shaking your head because you do this for a living. And so you can physically see
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Jason Mefford: The other person change because it’s just as if a weight or something got taken off of them. Right.
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Kathy Gruver: And change their fate. I mean, you can see them just coming on and letting that go, you know, it’s like after you take that task you study for the CTS and you fill in that last bubble and kind of go
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Jason Mefford: Right.
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Kathy Gruver: This like
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Kathy Gruver: This release of that stress.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Absolutely, absolutely. And why I love so much about this particular technique is not only does it work. I call it the Windex of techniques because not only because it works on practically anything, she’s not. It really does. It’s so cool. I mean, I’ve used it.
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Jason Mefford: On your wardrobe. It
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Jason Mefford: Wasn’t in My Big Fat Greek Wedding
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Jason Mefford: Put some Windex on it.
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Mark D. Lakowske: My grandmother was the same way with Pepto Bismarck I had tree sap in my hair at one time and she gave me a big smile.
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Mark D. Lakowske: it loosens that I might
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Mark D. Lakowske: Maybe you put it in your hair but not to drink, but anyway.
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Jason Mefford: It’s hard, and something if you put an
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Mark D. Lakowske: Exact I can’t stand Pepto to this day.
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Mark D. Lakowske: But you know, I really do look at this as a all purpose cleaner. Because really, that’s what we’re doing is we’re taking responsibility for the self.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And we’re going inward to clean up what needs to be cleaned up and you know I’ve used this with people dealing with
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Mark D. Lakowske: Worries and stress and anxiety and depression smoking and all kinds of things. And what I love is it works so great on its own.
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Mark D. Lakowske: But I throw it into other techniques that I’m using to help people clear things inside of other techniques, sometimes we need a little extra own inside the technique or we
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Mark D. Lakowske: Or the client will get stuck in the process of one technique. And so I’ll just transition right into a call upon a porno. And it just clears the way so that we can continue on.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Really nice.
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Kathy Gruver: Yay.
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Kathy Gruver: Oh yeah, kind of
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Kathy Gruver: That emptiness, where we can then add more stuff to it so process out what we didn’t need any more learn from that and then allow ourselves more space. Just like when you cleaned out the closet. You give her all that stuff you’re donating you have all this openness.
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Kathy Gruver: Right, as humans, I have observed just in my own life and and around me, people are uncomfortable with silence, they’re uncomfortable with openness that open space like there’s nothing there.
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Kathy Gruver: My ex husband always used to joke that if there was an open shelf, I would find something to put on it.
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Kathy Gruver: I’m wanting to fill that space. And so often we fill that space out of what out of sense of lack out of the need to distract out of an entity out of it. You know, so, so to sit with that silence and that openness, it sounds like, whoa. A Ponyo. Ponyo and
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Kathy Gruver: Now, having nothing to do with moles
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No.
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Jason Mefford: Well, but it’s
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Kathy Gruver: A lot of animals so
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Mark D. Lakowske: Yeah.
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Jason Mefford: Well, we didn’t talk about them all right now. So, at least we got an animal on this.
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Jason Mefford: But
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Jason Mefford: But I think it’s, you know, and that’s an important thing for us to remember, too, because I’m still learning and still on this journey to
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Mark D. Lakowske: The last we all are.
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Jason Mefford: So much of the time we fill ourselves so fall and and the problem is there’s just honestly a lot of shifts at non the cupboard.
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Mark D. Lakowske: You know,
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Jason Mefford: Shelf that we have to get rid of first
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Mark D. Lakowske: Before we can allow that other stuff. And well, and I think
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Jason Mefford: It’s just like spring cleaning, cleaning out your pantry, whatever else right that we do the work, then that abundance and other stuff can then flow into our lives.
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Mark D. Lakowske: We have to do that work first for it to show up. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think sometimes, you know, you know, speaking of clutter. A lot of times when we go throughout our lives we see other people’s taught her that we don’t really
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Mark D. Lakowske: Have any but we don’t realize it’s actually, our clutter. It’s actually our clutter that they’re kind of mirroring and reflecting, you know, Dr.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Hugh lead who really pioneered whole Ponyo. Ponyo in Hawaii, he was working in the Hawaiian state correctional facility, and he was brought into the
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Mark D. Lakowske: The ward that that how’s the worst of the worst. You know, the mentally insane. The, the criminally insane just awful. And he was brought in and he started looking around and he started asking you the question of himself of
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Mark D. Lakowske: How am I contributing to these people being in the position that they are in and he started looking at their clutter as his clutter.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And so what he started doing was he would go into his office every day with their taste files and he would open their case files and go through them.
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Mark D. Lakowske: He didn’t meet with inmates themselves. He just met with their case files and he started looking at them at what they did, how they felt what they were going through and start asking yourself the question, how is how are they me
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Mark D. Lakowske: And so he looked, and he would search inside. Again, that’s going back into self to take responsibility.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And he would take responsibility for that aspect in a man that he saw in himself, and started to say, you know what, I’m sorry.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Please forgive me. Thank you. And I love you, despite all of that and he started doing that with the case files, day after day after day. And what they found was that ward improved fights went down.
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Mark D. Lakowske: outbursts went down violence went down.
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Mark D. Lakowske: There was a saying in that word that the energy of this word is so bad that the paint won’t even stick to the wall so little it peel off and it literally what and he ordered a new paint to be painted in there. And it was the first time in years of the paint actually stock.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And and so he really demonstrated that power of going with in and how energetically we all are really connected and and how we really all are one, we’re not we’re not separate
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Kathy Gruver: I studied a lot this past year was told.
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Kathy Gruver: And what Jesus. He always uses is, you know, you look out at the ocean and there’s these little caps of waves that come up with all those little waves, but we’re part of one big ocean. And how do you separate each wave each
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Kathy Gruver: Grade eek and it’s the perfect analogy because it’s like we’re all one big body of water and we have this little group of the peaks of that water.
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Kathy Gruver: It sounds like that’s, I mean, that’s exactly what you’re talking about is we are all one and they’ve done. I mean, I don’t know how much study, you can do on this, but as people become more enlightened, it sort of brings us all up and all along.
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Kathy Gruver: People that say become enlightened and become present and become holy or whatever word you want to use it carries society, along with that, I hope.
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Jason Mefford: And I, and I think I mean there’s a lot of profoundness actually marketing what you just said. So I want to unpack it a little bit.
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Jason Mefford: Because I got really kind of two big things out of that right is the first one is, you know, like
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Jason Mefford: If you’re seeing other people’s clutter. It’s probably a mirror back on you.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Right.
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Jason Mefford: So, first thing is, you know, some of us may be thinking, well, I know I need to change, but I just don’t know what I need to work on. Okay, so, so stop and start thinking about it this way. Right.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Right.
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Jason Mefford: What are you seeing in other people that are driving you crazy or that you’re, you’re not happy with.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Right.
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Jason Mefford: Because you’re probably mirroring it back. So that’s probably the first area that
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Mark D. Lakowske: You’re starting point.
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Jason Mefford: It’s a good starting point.
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Jason Mefford: Right so so you know it’s it’s one way to help you kind of think about what, what do I need to start working on first.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, because we’ve all got lots of things to work.
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Mark D. Lakowske: On yeah
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Jason Mefford: Absolutely. But there’s maybe one of the, the other one is the
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Mark D. Lakowske: Sound of the overwhelm to
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Jason Mefford: Oh yeah, unless you just kind of focus on and stay in that one.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Yeah, instead of, instead, clean the whole house right now, which is impossible to do all at once with a corner of a room. You don’t even have to start with the whole room. Start with the corner.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Man.
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Jason Mefford: Well, and then the second part to it, too, was was exactly how that doctors experience of I think so much of the time when we see things and other people. We want to help fix the other person.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, but if we fix that in ourself. The other person will get fixed along the way.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, like you said, his experience was not going out and trying to change those inmates.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Hopefully can’t
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Jason Mefford: Because we can’t, we can’t change. Other people, none of us have ever tried to do
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Mark D. Lakowske: That doesn’t happen.
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Jason Mefford: But it’s but it’s way more effective if we actually focus on changing ourselves. And literally, I mean, there’s that Gandhi, quote, right, you know. Be the change you want to see in the world.
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Jason Mefford: That that that is on so many different levels, but I see that as one of those of being hey energetically and everything else. If you start changing people will start seeing it that
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Jason Mefford: Energy will transfer to other people.
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Jason Mefford: Right and and and you will make the world a better place, not by trying to change the other person, but being that change and changing your being well rub off.
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Mark D. Lakowske: On Oh, absolutely.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Absolutely. You know, one thing I tell my clients all the time. They don’t believe me at first until we’re all said and done, and then they like holy shit you’re right but
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Mark D. Lakowske: I know right. But I always tell them I say, you know, when you change and you’re vibrating at a different higher level now.
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Mark D. Lakowske: The world around you has to change. It cannot stay the same. It has to either now vibrate a different level to match you and meet you, or it naturally falls away.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And either way. Your world can’t be the same because you’re no longer the same
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Mark D. Lakowske: We’re not the same person. We were where we woke up this morning and we’re not going to be the same person you know tonight that we are right now, everything’s always flowing and changing and growing.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And so, you know, I love what you were just saying just now because it’s so true. Our entire world changes what our perspective. Perspective changes.
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Kathy Gruver: And that can be really scary. And it’s not
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Kathy Gruver: Oh yeah crisis of who am I now and I have a very dear friend who is three years out of college and he’s still kind of goes and hangs out with the college things
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Kathy Gruver: But he realizes that he’s like, I can’t go do that anymore. Like, I can’t drive from house to house looking for parties with a bunch of drunk people he goes like this. I can’t do
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Mark D. Lakowske: Well,
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Kathy Gruver: He doesn’t have that. Next thing yet. So I think he feels incredibly lost that identity that he’s had for now six years is gone, and he’s
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Mark D. Lakowske: Going
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Kathy Gruver: I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where I fit in. I’m like, kind of in between adult kid kind of that that awkward space that I remember being
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Mark D. Lakowske: In yeah
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Kathy Gruver: Am I right now with these new people, you know, it’s very scary to let that old stuff fall away.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Because
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Kathy Gruver: When you stop doing drugs. You can’t keep hanging out with your druggie friends.
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Mark D. Lakowske: What are you
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Kathy Gruver: Wearing you’re gonna have to find an entire new hate the word tribe entire new tribe and entire new identity. And that’s really scary and lonely for a lot of people. So get through that awkward growth period of, I don’t know where the fuck I fit in.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Right, no and and you’re right, it is very scary and it is very hard for a lot of people, especially in the start of their journey.
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Mark D. Lakowske: But I think as people progress and they learn. They feel better about themselves and they learn more about themselves.
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Mark D. Lakowske: I think it gives us clues and aspects that we start gravitating towards you know it becomes a part of our present awareness, then
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Mark D. Lakowske: You know that particular activating system that that pulls in all of those experiences and opportunities.
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Mark D. Lakowske: To to match what we’re focusing on starts pulling that in more and more and more. I think so. I think for a lot of people
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Mark D. Lakowske: You know, even though it can be scary at first, those different puzzle pieces will start fitting themselves back into place where they need to go.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And now that they’re more aware of themselves, they’ll be more aware of those puzzle pieces that are putting them back into place.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And then, you know, it’s one of those things. It’s like that stupid old adage, but when the student is ready, the teacher will come. Well, when we are ready. Our tribe will come our hobbies are people or places or things they just show up. Yeah.
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Jason Mefford: I agree. Well, but it did is it that hesitation that
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Jason Mefford: Holds most of us back.
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Jason Mefford: Right, because we like wherever we’re at
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Jason Mefford: Ah, yeah.
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Kathy Gruver: Your change and you all those things are scary for us. And we’ve once again, guess what folks on through almost our whole hour
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Jason Mefford: I know it doesn’t seem like it does it.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Boy, that’s cool.
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Kathy Gruver: So, um, any final thoughts. Jason mark and then we’ll talk about how we can reach you. And I know you’re doing a lot of performing you’re doing a lot of stage hypnosis now to fairs and stuff. So that’s
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Mark D. Lakowske: Yeah yeah
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Kathy Gruver: We’ll cover that in a second. So any final thoughts. Jason or
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Jason Mefford: Well, I was just gonna say, I love the imagery, you know of this as well, you know, the whole Ponyo. Ponyo have to keep looking down every time I say it right but but but that whole you know hang loose Hawaii kind of thing, you know, of just calm the fuck out.
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Jason Mefford: Kind of a thing. Right. And it’s just kind of it. To me, it’s a it’s a great image to kind of think about of, you know, we go through this day.
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Jason Mefford: And and and we stop and kind of go through the steps that you just talked about. Right. You know, we go inside ourselves we
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Jason Mefford: We kind of take responsibility for it, you know, understand what it is. We thank it, we, you know, figure out what we’ve learned and then we release it so that we can start new
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Mark D. Lakowske: Right, right.
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Jason Mefford: And I think that’s such beautiful imagery that you know not to be all cliche ish. You know, like, Annie. The musical this don’t come out tomorrow.
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Jason Mefford: Thing but
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Jason Mefford: That really is true and if we, if we think, you know, if we think in those terms, kind of in that imagery and realize no matter. You know what, maybe today held there is a tomorrow.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And I
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Jason Mefford: The better we can get at, kind of, you know, releasing learning what we needed to start tomorrow as a new day.
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Jason Mefford: It’s just a great reminder, as well as obviously a great therapy, you know, way to help people.
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Mark D. Lakowske: You right yeah and I think one thing that people really need to remember. And what I like to impart to people is that you know dovetailing into what you just said about the sun will come out tomorrow.
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Mark D. Lakowske: It always will. And even when the sky is gray. The sun is always there. It’s just behind the clouds. It’s not God. It’s just hidden and it might be a little harder to see. But it still shines light.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And we have to find those pockets and pools of light and move into those because it’s only when we move into those pockets and pools of light that we can expand our field of vision in our field of awareness.
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Mark D. Lakowske: And one thing people can really do is a very simple way of experience that is just everyday. Take a little moment. Put your hand on your heart.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Think about what’s been bothering you take responsibility for the part that you played in it and just say to yourself, I’m sorry for having created or allowed that part.
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Mark D. Lakowske: I forgive myself for having created and love that part. I thank you for the positive benefits and value that you did bring into my life. I love you. I love myself.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Going peace.
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Kathy Gruver: To end. Alright. So Mark Tell everybody how they can reach you. What is your website.
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Mark D. Lakowske: My brand new website is at em DL. That’s my first three individuals am d l healing artistry.com that’s the easiest and fastest way. Otherwise, but we have on Facebook, all the cool kids are doing it.
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Kathy Gruver: All right, this has been so phenomenal one that
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Mark D. Lakowske: Has been great.
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Kathy Gruver: It’s I love having it’s it’s great because I get to bring people that I know on who are doing such good things in the world and hopefully spread that out a little bit bigger. So this has been an amazing episode once again and I’m Kathy gruver I can be reached at Kathy Gruber calm.
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Jason Mefford: And I’m Jason effort. I can be reached at Jason method calm, so go out
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Jason Mefford: Try to practice some how a Ponyo. Ponyo. Have a great rest of your week and we will see you on the next episode of the fire and earth podcast.
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Mark D. Lakowske: Thank you.
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Mark D. Lakowske: See ya. Bye.
