In this #jammingwithjason #internalauditpodcast I take a little break from the technical and professional aspects of our career to talk with my friend Sean Rosensteel about being more intentional in our living.
Many people put their head down and focus completely on only one or two aspects of their life and wake up years later wondering what happened.
It’s like going through school and only focusing on one or two subjects and come report card time realizing we failed our other courses. The problem is in the real world “failing courses” can often mean losing relationships, stress and regret.
Being intentional in our lives allows us to consider what really matters most at this point in your life, doing regular check-ins, course correcting, and finding lifelong learning opportunities and communities of like minded people in all aspects of our life.
If you’re the kind of person who wants to get the most out of life by being intentional and living a wholistic full life, then this episode is for you.
To get a free copy of Sean’s book “The School of Intentional Living” visit his website: https://www.seanrosensteel.com/
Transcript
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Jason Mefford: Hey Welcome everybody. I am excited to be with Sean Rosenstiel now we we had actually he was a guest on another podcast that I do.
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Jason Mefford: And I just got off on it. And I said, You know what, I got to have him back on because
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Jason Mefford: We’re so in line with a lot of the stuff that we’re thinking about and I just want people to be able to hear. So Sean Rosenstiel
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Jason Mefford: Is the author of the school of intentional living and Sean welcome maybe just just give a little background. I love the title of the book.
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Jason Mefford: I love kind of the metaphor that you use, but kind of your whole story as well that I think is going to resonate with a lot of people about how to actually have an intentional life and get what you want. So take it away, man.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah. Well, thanks, Jason. Nice to see you again. Good to be here on the show. I appreciate it. Yeah. So I grew up with a very, I think conventional idea of success, like many of us do.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I was fortunate enough to go to college and after graduating. I graduated with a degree in entrepreneurship, believe it or not.
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Sean Rosensteel: I was the first graduating class when they rolled out that program and I actually took it by by accident. I was a marketing major my senior year, or my sophomore year.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I noticed that they had this entrepreneurship program that was available to sophomores and it required one less or for less credits.
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Jason Mefford: And marketing your marketing.
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Sean Rosensteel: So like that is me. I’m an entrepreneur. So I took it to have an easier senior year, you know, graduated with barely with
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Sean Rosensteel: By the skin of my teeth and went into business for myself and you know success to me back then was big homes and fast, fast, fast cars fancy toys status.
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Sean Rosensteel: Because I grew up with a lot of that. And a lot of my peers and their parents. It was just, I was surrounded. I was very fortunate upbringing, surrounded by a lot of those material things and
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Sean Rosensteel: I ended up actually making some very negligent decisions and I went bankrupt, just one month before my wedding. When I was 28 years old.
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Sean Rosensteel: And it was the first time in my life that I paused and took a breath and kind of reflected back on some of the decisions I had made leading up to that moment and I recognize that
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Sean Rosensteel: While I was bankrupt in the financial column of my life. I was bankrupt everywhere else. I was spiritually bankrupt, mentally, emotionally bankrupt physically bankrupt. I was a hot mess. Still am. In certain ways, depending
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On the day
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Sean Rosensteel: I’m being honest.
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Jason Mefford: We all are.
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Jason Mefford: I mean, that’s just, that’s just part of being human right.
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Sean Rosensteel: Right, yeah.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, but I was in a pretty pretty dark place back then and I and I write a little bit about that in the book and the introduction, but
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Sean Rosensteel: I think I developed this mindset in school. I was a C average at best student
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Sean Rosensteel: And I really, that was my identity. And I took that C average mindset into the real world and I think
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Sean Rosensteel: You know, in school, I would learn something regurgitate the information on a test just to get by just going through the motions and then I would forget everything
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Sean Rosensteel: And when I got into the real world. When I graduated I was what 2122 however old I was
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Sean Rosensteel: I didn’t appreciate learning. I didn’t appreciate personal growth, whatever you want to call it, but a lot of people say, well, I stopped learning when I grew up, when I was done with school. I don’t think I ever began learning
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Sean Rosensteel: Like, I don’t think I ever began learning in the first place. So at 28 I had an incredible phone call with my parents. They have provided me with their unconditional love. My whole life I’ve been so fortunate in that category.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I had borrowed a little bit of money after I graduated, my parents helped me out. Got, got on my own two feet with my business.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I can remember my attorney when we were finalizing the paperwork asking me, are there any other debts that you owe to any anyone else any company. We need everything out here.
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Sean Rosensteel: I said well I withheld one of them. I’d like to keep that off and he encouraged me to disclose 100% disclose everything strengthen the case, whatever it was.
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Sean Rosensteel: So I ended up, including my parents, and the money I owed them in the paperwork and then it dawned on me as I was sitting in my car. I’ll never forget this moment.
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Sean Rosensteel: Because the whole world was going by. There’s people outside everyone’s living their life enjoying the life and I just felt stuck.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I can remember this, you know, pit in my stomach. When I kind of had this vision of my poor mother walking to the mailbox and a few short weeks, knowing how the government is probably a few long
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Sean Rosensteel: Weeks might be
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Sean Rosensteel: an exaggeration, you know, that’s a little optimistic but I envisioned her opening that and just getting hit with a ton of bricks in the face. So I, I called my parents and
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Sean Rosensteel: They both of them got on the phone. I said, have some news to share. Can you get dad after my mom called and delivered the news. And I’ll never forget my dad said, Sean.
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Sean Rosensteel: No one is responsible for you but you and then my mom chimed in with her sweet little town and she’s like, I think it’s time to find a quiet place and figure things out for yourself. Now they had told me that Jason for
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Sean Rosensteel: Is hundreds if not thousands of times for as long as I can remember. But I had the readiness that day, for whatever reason, it was the right time.
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Sean Rosensteel: And it really resonated with me and I really took their guidance seriously and you know I was feeling like a failure. Right. I mean like sitting there i a lot of my peers had gone on to
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Sean Rosensteel: succeed at their own businesses they had careers that were going in the right direction. They were getting married, having children starting families.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I really felt like a failure. And I figured out, okay, you know, if I don’t take charge here and find a different way than the way I’ve been living than this, you know, conventional way I’ve been living my life. I’m going to be a mess. And I may not be here for much longer.
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Sean Rosensteel: So I just, you know, like a lot of people do. I think I couldn’t afford you know online courses that was 10 years ago so online courses were, you know, they were available and they were very expensive.
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Sean Rosensteel: You could go to seminars and these four day things, but I didn’t have any money money to to speak of. So I went to the local library and I started checking out books and
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Sean Rosensteel: And I discovered learning. You know, I, for the first time, I think not. Again, I discovered personal development personal growth and I started very methodically improving every area of my life.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I’ve been very fortunate over the last 10 years I’ve have reconnected with, you know, what I would call my, my higher power. I’ve strengthened my mental, emotional state. I’m in better shape today, knock on wood than I have been probably ever
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Sean Rosensteel: I have an incredible relationship with my wife. I have three beautiful, beautiful children.
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Sean Rosensteel: Great relationship and my parents, my siblings. I’ve reconnected with a lot of old friends that I lost along the way. I used to burn a lot of bridges. I had
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Sean Rosensteel: I was abusing alcohol and I just severe nicotine addiction. I was, I was a wreck. So I overcame that alcohol, tobacco, none of those things or anything really rules. My life necessarily that I’m aware of.
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Sean Rosensteel: Currently, maybe like maybe the occasional like Doritos at a certain nights, they, you know, get a little hold there.
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I think still but
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah. And then with my wife. I’ve been very fortunate were able to build and start building grow a few companies and and we were acquired a few of them, which was nice. Over the years, and
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, I’m involved with some charitable organizations on the board for one that I care. You know, deeply about. So I just had a massive turnaround and
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Sean Rosensteel: For me, that pivotal moment was just taking charge and recognizing that the path laid out the template that I was living from
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Sean Rosensteel: And I think that template that a lot of us are living from this conventional template, it just didn’t work for me.
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Sean Rosensteel: And the more and more I talked about it with people and the more and more I was asked, Hey, what, what are you doing over there. Like, you seem to be getting some incredible results.
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Sean Rosensteel: I began actually teaching and coaching this to people about five, six years ago I created what I would call just a very simple kind of a real world approach at living intentionally
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Sean Rosensteel: And then it was recommended years ago that I write a book someday and I’m an avid reader. I’ve always appreciated.
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Sean Rosensteel: And admired these, you know, courageous authors for taking the time to clarify and organize their thoughts in the written word. The courage that they have to publish their work and
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Sean Rosensteel: expose themselves to public criticism and all the rest of it. So I thought, There’s no way I could do that. But then, of course, that idea, you know, took hold a bit and
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Sean Rosensteel: I didn’t really know Jason, how to write about intentional living because
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Sean Rosensteel: It’s such a broad topic. Number one, I think it means different things to all of us. I think we all have our own unique definition of intentional living and I don’t think there’s a wrong definition, by the way.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I also think there’s a lot of misconceptions around living intentionally and
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Sean Rosensteel: Being a purpose driven person and purpose in general, I think there’s just a lot of different ideas and and misconceptions, but late last year I was
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Sean Rosensteel: Doing a meditation I got into a meditation practice a few years back, and an idea, hit me like lightning and I couldn’t shake it and it was this idea that perhaps my approach that I thought I came up with all by myself.
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Sean Rosensteel: Was inspired greatly by the formal education system, which was ironic because I I wasn’t ever a fan of the formal education system. I was never a big fan of school. I had a horrible experience because of my own attitude probably
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Sean Rosensteel: And I didn’t want to give that thing credit. It was the least I, you know, the last thing I wanted to do but I’m like, you know,
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Sean Rosensteel: The way that I’m working my day to day and my goal is just everything about my life the way that I’m going about it. And this approach.
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Sean Rosensteel: Really does stem from my experiences back in school. So how can I extract the foundational lessons that were taught in school.
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Sean Rosensteel: And teach people and write about how to apply them in your life in the real world in a way that’s incredibly relevant incredibly relatable and in a way that’s flexible enough so everyone can take that information, make it their own and run
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Sean Rosensteel: And it’s been neat because you know being relatable about this topic was very important to me. I’ve read a lot of books are taken.
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Sean Rosensteel: audio programs or been to events that are just I can’t relate at all with the person I can’t relate at all with their approach.
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Sean Rosensteel: And it’s just there’s a conflict there, for whatever reason, and I don’t apply it and I end up waste. You know, I end up wasting my time.
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Sean Rosensteel: So having something that was relatable to people was very important. And I finally found my entry point late last year.
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Sean Rosensteel: Which is really exciting. And I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback about it. They’re like this metaphor of school is so neat because
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Sean Rosensteel: It put me right back there. I know exactly what you’re referring to. I know exactly how to take this tool strategy mindset habit, whatever it is, and apply it today because I already know what that’s about, you know,
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Jason Mefford: So, and that’s one of the reasons that I love it too because we were talking before you know I mean I’m big on lifelong learning.
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Jason Mefford: And have been, you know, try to get it because there were a couple of things, you know, as we were talking
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Jason Mefford: That you kind of brought up that I wanted to make sure and share with my audience too because I’ve been trying to say some of this stuff, but maybe you can say it in a different way.
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Jason Mefford: They’re going to get, you know, they’ve been listening to me forever in a couple of them were, you know, again, it’s that metaphor of schooling.
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Jason Mefford: And I think, you know, a lot of people that that are are listening. You were technical in nature, right, we’ve got we’ve gone through we’ve gotten a bachelor’s maybe a master’s degree.
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Jason Mefford: Multiple professional certifications. There’s always been kind of an academic bend to it, but I think so much of the time that we
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Jason Mefford: We stopped learning when we stopped going to school. Right. And like you said, many of us don’t actually learn in school, because we don’t have all of the four pieces.
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Jason Mefford: Of learning. We haven’t actually acquire the skills done the application of it and then actually exercise to experienced it.
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Jason Mefford: Right to get the full learning. Usually it’s just knowledge, take the test knowledge, take the test right even a lot of professional training. It’s like that knowledge, take the test you. You didn’t learn it right
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Jason Mefford: At that point, and so
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Jason Mefford: You know, I love that idea of how you know through your life and all of a sudden you kind of got that epiphany again of hold it, you know, learning is important.
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Jason Mefford: For my whole life. Right. And there’s lots of different options out there. I mean, you said you went to the library. First, it’s a great place
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh, I love everything you just said. So first of all, I think you need to give your listeners a little more credit if they’ve been listening to use
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Whatever.
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Jason Mefford: They should have heard it by now. No, I’m saying if they’ve been listening to you forever. I think they’re probably getting
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Sean Rosensteel: So no, I love what you’re saying. And I think that happens to a lot of us.
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Sean Rosensteel: I was just talking about how in Napoleon hills. Think and Grow Rich, which is for me a classic. I’ve been reading that for many years. I read it about once or twice a year, and he talks about that how the vast majority of men. This is back in what 28 so
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, 20s.
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Sean Rosensteel: As some things that maybe aren’t you know correct today, but the vast majority of men. Once done with school, no matter what level it is stop learning.
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Sean Rosensteel: And it’s one of the major reasons why people fail or feel like they fail or have a disaster in one area of life or the other. So I think what you’re preaching is so important. I’m a firm believer. I think learning at the end of the day for me. Jason learning saved my life.
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Sean Rosensteel: I mean, you’re in the intro. You know, I was suicidal. I was a total mess and learning was literally the key and living intentionally, you know, identifying what that was and figuring out what that meant to me and then living that life was key for me. But I think that
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Sean Rosensteel: A lot of people take this continuing education right for their profession.
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Sean Rosensteel: That’s one area.
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Jason Mefford: That’s only one
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Jason Mefford: Because that was the other thing I wanted to bring up was
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Jason Mefford: You know, you talk about, you know, having a holistic and full life and there’s there’s many different aspects to that right
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Sean Rosensteel: Right, yeah. I mean, did the first chapter of my book I talk about subject areas back in school and we have math, science, social studies, whatever.
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Sean Rosensteel: were responsible for whatever it is five to eight subject areas and we can’t do well and five and flunk one, we won’t progress to the next grade. We won’t make it to the next level. We won’t grow or experience growth.
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Sean Rosensteel: So in the real world, we have life areas we have the areas of our lives that matter most. And they’re different for each of us. If you and I went to school at the same time, Jason.
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Sean Rosensteel: You would have a different curriculum in different subjects and I would have because we’re interested in different things.
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Sean Rosensteel: You might have this analytical risk assessment, kinda like stuff that like
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Jason Mefford: You would never even signed up for that class right
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Sean Rosensteel: God bless.
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Sean Rosensteel: Unless you had a really cute teacher or so I was taking all the heart and psychology and other stuff too, right, because
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, so, and I would have just, I would have checked the box it bit less credits.
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Jason Mefford: Yes, Mr entrepreneur major
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Sean Rosensteel: Though so anyways but we’re different. So if I said, Jason. Tell me about the areas of your life that matter most. You might say, Oh, I’ve got my health and maybe that breaks down into my spiritual or my religious health my mental, emotional health my physical health.
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Sean Rosensteel: You might have your wealth, whatever that might look like career business philanthropy retirement budgeting income revenue. I don’t know.
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Sean Rosensteel: Then you have your relationships. Maybe you have a partner, significant other, you’re married, you have children.
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Sean Rosensteel: Maybe you have aging parents, maybe have siblings you have communities memberships associations, your involvement, whatever that looks like we’re all different.
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Sean Rosensteel: We each have different areas of life, just like in school, we studied different subject areas, but the point is we can’t
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Sean Rosensteel: Flunk. One of them back in school. If you flunk it’s not the end of the world. You have to repeat the grade right not ideal.
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Sean Rosensteel: But it’s also not like a showstopper either well in the real world, you go too far too long way out of balance 510 15 years in you neglect.
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Sean Rosensteel: An area that’s important to you because you’re too focused in your career that could be disastrous. That could be a catastrophe, you could, you know, your relationship could end to end.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, your children could could hate your guts. You could develop a habit that’s going to kill you. Maybe it’s a cancer causing habit of some you might have regret because you missed a window to spend time with some people who were aging. You know that that to me that scares me.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I kind of live my life back then when all of this happened. I got this notion that or this belief, I should say that, you know, I look at life.
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Sean Rosensteel: Like, I believe that in our final moments. Many of us will wonder if we passed or failed at at life at this thing we call life. So while I believe, life is a gift. I also look at life like it’s a test.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I think a lot of us would be a lot more fulfilled and less stressed and more
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Sean Rosensteel: You know, feeling like we’re balanced out a little bit if we looked at it from that angle from that perspective, you know, more frequently because I don’t want to make it to my dad, we are talking about the death of Yvonne Elliot’s
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Sean Rosensteel: Earlier, how, you know, in the final moments of his life. He asked the question, What if my whole life has been wrong.
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Sean Rosensteel: Like that, that is haunted me from the moment I that those words just, you know, shot right out from the page when I read that many years ago. And I’m into this stuff, Jason. This is how I think I’m kind of a weirdo, but
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Sean Rosensteel: I want to live a full life. You know, I want to experience everything I can. I want to be present in the moment with with you on this podcast with my kids at dinner when I get home with my wife.
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Sean Rosensteel: Like we all deserve to have a fully fleshed out joyful life. And I think it’s on each and every one of one of us to discover. Well, what does that look like for me.
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Sean Rosensteel: What does that look like based on my past, based on my current condition my existing circumstances where I’ve arrived today.
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Sean Rosensteel: Like it’s never too late. And I think what’s exciting. And I think, you know, this my book published back in
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Sean Rosensteel: late July. And I think one of the reasons why it’s done so well. I’m a self published author I handled. Some of the market at all the marketing myself. Got a little help from the wife little assist there but
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Sean Rosensteel: I think one of the reasons why it’s done so well and gain so much traction is because just like that event of bankruptcy did for me 10 years ago, I think this pandemic.
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Jason Mefford: Is making demon for laws.
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Sean Rosensteel: It’s just external circumstance. It’s this what what in a movie would be called an inciting incident, right, like in the first 90 seconds. There’s an explosion. You get hooked get attached to the character.
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Jason Mefford: Now we got to fix it.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, and I got it. Now how’s he going to come out, you know, out alive from this one. So I think this pandemic has been that inciting incident. That’s kind of woken. A lot of people up from their slumber.
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Sean Rosensteel: And they’re starting to reassess where they are and what they really want out of their life and things are changing the day to day is different. A lot of people are working from home a lot of
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Sean Rosensteel: Career. People are getting a taste of what entrepreneurship is like because they’re at home now trying to balance all this stuff out.
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Sean Rosensteel: Find some privacy for the business and focus time balancing out interruptions from their significant other children, whatever it might be.
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Sean Rosensteel: We’re all going through some pretty uncertain times and we’re being forced to go beyond our comfort zone. But what I found is that that’s where the growth happens
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Sean Rosensteel: You don’t want to be too far out of your comfort zone. But if you have a circle and you draw a little x just beyond the circle. Like that’s actually good for us.
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Sean Rosensteel: I think that’s actually good for us to experience some some new things every once in a while, and certainly there’s a lot of
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Sean Rosensteel: Bad things going on with the pandemic. We’ve lost tons of people worldwide and
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Sean Rosensteel: We probably both have people close to us who we know and I’m sure a lot of the listeners do too that we’ve lost. I know a lot of people
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Sean Rosensteel: Who haven’t been able to be with their loved ones as they as they pass or transition. So I’m not saying this is like, oh, this is such a gift. Let’s celebrate this. It’s an awful.
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Sean Rosensteel: Tragedy that’s currently taking place. But I think if we can look at this and say, you know, there’s a lesson here.
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Sean Rosensteel: You know, there’s a lesson here for all of us to learn, you know, at the same time I see a lot of good things happening. I see a lot of
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Sean Rosensteel: Community, I see a lot of connectedness, even though it’s via zoom or whatever it is online. I feel like we’re appreciating things that have always been around, but we haven’t noticed before. That makes sense.
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Jason Mefford: Oh yeah cuz there’s there’s tons of stuff around us that we don’t notice right because because even even, like you said, you know, as far as
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Jason Mefford: You know sometimes we get we get so enthralled with maybe one aspect of our life.
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Jason Mefford: That other things fall apart. Right. You know, and back to your school analogy. It’s like, oh, man, you know, if I love chemistry. And I’m just like all into chemistry and I get an A plus in chemistry.
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Jason Mefford: But I ignore you know three of the other subjects and I fail in them.
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Jason Mefford: You know, in school, you don’t get to pass forward. So that’s the same thing, right, if you’re if you’re doing great. Let’s say you’re doing great in your career. Right. But you’re not taking care of your, your personal relationships that need to well
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Jason Mefford: Relationship. Sometimes there’s an end in divorce. That’s like a failed relationship right
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Jason Mefford: Or the or the other, the other side around. I see a lot of people to that, you know, maybe focus so much on some of these other areas that their career.
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Jason Mefford: Never goes where they where they want to. I mean, I know some great guys. They’re amazing fathers and husbands, but they just can’t make a living, you know, and they’re scraping it out, you know, working two or three jobs to try to do it.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, you know, and it’s like
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Jason Mefford: So, so we’ve got to have some of that balance in our life in really, you know, like I said, it’s, it goes back to learning and the experiences and everything as well, too, is it’s like we can learn how to communicate better
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Jason Mefford: We can, you know, learn how to manage our finances better we can learn, you know, new professional skills, maybe that make us more more accessible in the marketplace right
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Jason Mefford: There’s all these different things that we can and should be learning and then kind of focusing on. Okay, what is most important in my life at this time.
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Jason Mefford: Right. I mean, I mean for me. I’m an empty nester kids are all gone second marriage, but now I’ve got aging parent issues, right. So it’s like every, every phase of life is a little bit different.
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Jason Mefford: For each person, and I think it’s great you know again how you kind of put some of that together in the book of kind of assessing where you’re at and what’s most important now. Yeah, as well, right, because we have to make those choices.
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Jason Mefford: In our life of what’s most important for me now.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, it’s. Yeah, it’s great. And I think we need to get we need to remove this idea that it’s a once a year.
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Sean Rosensteel: Occasion where we come up with a resolution or two.
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Sean Rosensteel: I like to see people do it more frequently you know reassess our lives more frequently. I think that’s so important because your priorities are moving targets.
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Sean Rosensteel: And if you’re in the habit of just staring at the to do list. And, you know, stressing out because it just keeps rolling over day to day to day like there might be a deeper reason why that to do is
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Sean Rosensteel: They’re not done, and maybe those things.
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Jason Mefford: There is a deeper reason
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Sean Rosensteel: Maybe those things don’t even matter because your values priorities, things have shifted, but you haven’t kind of recalibrated and caught up with those things yet.
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Sean Rosensteel: And I think also this idea of work life balance or just balance in general, I think that’s a dangerous idea. It’s a destination that we will never reach
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Sean Rosensteel: And I think this idea of, you know, I think if we could ship the destination to a verb, instead of balance being this now. And if we can shift that destinations.
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Sean Rosensteel: In our mind and say the destination is actually balancing. It’s a constant never ending state of balancing because, to your point, just a moment ago.
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Sean Rosensteel: You’re in this phase of life now. So while these focal points are these areas that mattered, are no longer relevant currently
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Sean Rosensteel: Now this is relevant. Like, there’s always something I think we all, we all think that will achieve balance someday. Or hey there’s greener pastures. On the other side, it’s like
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Sean Rosensteel: No, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment those expectations are going to crush you. And I think what we really need to start doing is like
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Sean Rosensteel: Why don’t I just be in motion constantly with this because I’m just a lot happier when I am when I’m balancing constantly
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Sean Rosensteel: And I look at it like investing almost right. Jason’s like what’s the magic of investing over a lifetime have, you know, have more
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Sean Rosensteel: Upside days than downside, you know, have more positive days than better days. You can’t control everything you’re not going to have good days for an entire year straight. There’s always going to be something
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Sean Rosensteel: That comes in out of your control and spoils your parade. I think the trick is to just simply have, you know, more
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Sean Rosensteel: Positive days the negative days and just appreciate the fact that some of these things that take place that are inconvenient, or whatever else, like you can find a lot of value and you can find a lot of opportunity for growth in some of those you know adversities
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Jason Mefford: Well, and I think is even though the term balance. I love what you just said, I’ve never heard anybody say it like that, but go from balance to balancing because the idea of balances, you know, we think of a fulcrum or a teeter totter right to where
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Jason Mefford: It’s 5050 right well you’re never going to have life balance.
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Jason Mefford: You know, work life balance because we spend more of our waking hours in our profession or doing whatever we’re doing
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Jason Mefford: To be able to enjoy the other. But there does have to be the balancing because, again, if you, you know,
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Jason Mefford: I’m this way and you know
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Jason Mefford: I don’t have any kids at home, but I love what I do. Right. And so sometimes I I love to work right. I mean, I would. There’s more sometimes nothing more than I would love doing this so
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Jason Mefford: If my wife and I don’t have something planned, you know, she might choose to watch TV. I’m in here working because I love it. Right.
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Jason Mefford: There gets to be that point to where
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Jason Mefford: I get a little too far over and she kind of, you know, looks at me, or gives me the little. I think you’re working a little bit too much, again, you know,
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Jason Mefford: The thing and then to remind me to kind of come back.
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Jason Mefford: You know, and it’s like that throughout our whole life right but but i love that idea of stopping and assessing where you’re at, you know,
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Jason Mefford: Figure out what what works for you. I guess right but but i would say 90 days or less is usually probably good. I don’t know if that’s been your experience, but it’s it’s way better than trying to wait for a whole year.
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Jason Mefford: Share because a lot of things can happen in between there.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, absolutely. I think you can do a lot of little short term course corrects on a weekly basis. That’s what I always recommend takes five minutes. I mean, I’m not sitting here, recommending you take five hours on a Sunday.
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Sean Rosensteel: It’s very fast.
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Sean Rosensteel: But just some real short term things to help you, day to day, week to week and then yes. Every 90 days or so.
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Sean Rosensteel: I think the human brain is actually wired to lose focus after a 90 day period, which is very interesting. There’s some science now to backup the data.
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Sean Rosensteel: So I think every 90 days to really climb the tree and, you know, get some fresh perspective from 30,000 feet and see how your years going
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Sean Rosensteel: You may need to course correct some major projects along the way to help you do whatever you’re looking to set out to do that year. But I want to go back to something I love what you just said. Did you mentioned the fulcrum.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah.
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Sean Rosensteel: Now, what you said. Yeah. And there’s certain laws. I think of the universe that we can’t
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Sean Rosensteel: Get around like I’m not going to go up against nature right like
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Sean Rosensteel: That’s not what I’m going to do because I lose every time I respect nature I respect the laws of the universe. I’m not going to trick gravity and you know be gravity at somebody. Well, you’re talking about balance and I look at that, like a bike.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, I mean, it’s so elementary, but like, how do you not fall off the bike you move
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Sean Rosensteel: Your move, right, and you move forward. Most of us, I mean, there’s certain
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People
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Jason Mefford: Didn’t go backwards on
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Jason Mefford: Just right but all those BMX years and you know they can help.
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Sean Rosensteel: Me. But the point is, like, you move forward. You have to be in motion. It’s that momentum that keeps the bike balanced.
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Jason Mefford: I love that analogy.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah.
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Jason Mefford: Because yeah, if you’re, if you can never you’ll fall over one way or the other, unless you’re moving. And that’s the hardest thing. You know when you’re teaching a kid to learn how to ride their bike right they first off, they wanted to be stable right and then
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Jason Mefford: start pedaling.
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Jason Mefford: Right. And it’s like, no kid, you know, that’s why you push them and kind of get them going start pedaling. And once they kind of get past that and realize, hold it. Yeah, if I just pedal then everything’s gonna be okay.
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Jason Mefford: Right. It’s a good life lesson though, too, because sometimes we want to sit around and kind of wallow and, you know, blah, blah, blah. Woe is me, but it’s like just make some progress and you’re going to get the balance back
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah. Now, that’s awesome. I just taught. I’ve got a soon to be seven year old four year old and a two year old and we just taught this summer, you got
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Jason Mefford: Lots of bike riding lessons coming
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, a lot of blues this summer.
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Sean Rosensteel: Mostly from me, you know, but
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Sean Rosensteel: But we taught my son Oliver and my daughter, Alice, how to ride their bikes and night, Alice, who is for actually picked it up. She’s incredible Oliver, who’s also incredible not so much at a bike beginning but
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Sean Rosensteel: It was hard for him because he didn’t want me to let go. And he also didn’t want it. It’s counterintuitive, right, because you’re like, I don’t want to fall and get hurt. That’s why I’m not pedaling and moving
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Sean Rosensteel: Know like at a certain point. I’m like, look, buddy.
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Sean Rosensteel: You don’t want to fall. I don’t want you to fall, but you have to trust my guidance here. And I told him about the law of balance and the law of momentum. And I said, there’s a lot going on. You have to have faith that what I’m telling you, works.
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Sean Rosensteel: And you have to get into this different habit versus putting your feet down because what he would do. He was hesitate. Right. So he starts going a little bit. But then he would want to take his feet off the pedals and
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Sean Rosensteel: You know, balance himself with his feet, but then his feet would get caught underneath the pedals need crash Yeah.
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Sean Rosensteel: So I’m like, you have to just go. You have to trust what I’m telling you, you have to trust yourself for only five or 10 seconds. And once you’re going and you’re in motion.
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Sean Rosensteel: The law of balance going to kick in. You’re going to be perfectly fine. But it’s that risk reward. You know, it’s like you have to believe that the risk is worth the reward. So when I’m talking to people and I’m training you know clients on like sitting down on a Sunday for 15
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Jason Mefford: Or 20 minutes, you know, to review their calendar for the week to minimize conflicts in their schedules.
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Sean Rosensteel: Or to plan or prepare for a meeting that they might have Tuesday morning that, you know, they would have rolled into like a hot mess. Five minutes late, sweating like crazy because they weren’t prepared.
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Sean Rosensteel: When I’m recommending these things and then going over the areas of your life giving yourself a grade, not one through 10 but A through E. Give yourself a letter grade because
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Sean Rosensteel: I used to do this and I would have sevens across the board. And I’m like, I’m fooling myself because I feel good about a seven out of 10
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Sean Rosensteel: But who am I kidding here. Like, I’m just comfortable and I’m really slacking so I started changing that to a through f. And then I even started calculating the GPA my life. Once I had those on a 4.0
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, right.
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Sean Rosensteel: So then I’m like, Oh my gosh, I’m like a 1.8 out of four like I’m doing worse today at, you know, 32 years old. This was years ago. Then I was in school, like I’m worse than a C average student and this is my life. I only get one shot at this. I’m married, I think I had one child back then.
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Sean Rosensteel: So that was a big wake up call. And so, but I recommend people do that just weekly so they can catch things. It takes two minutes to do something like that.
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Sean Rosensteel: And in it to catch things before they get a little you know momentum is a powerful force, regardless of its polarity. Right. So if you go
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Sean Rosensteel: If you
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Sean Rosensteel: Have Bingo. If you’ve got momentum in the wrong direction. The longer you’re in that direction, whether it’s unconscious or whatever the harder it’s going to be to reroute that momentum. Pull it in a U turn and go the other way you
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Sean Rosensteel: Know, so I think it’s important that we do that on the short term just quick little check ins.
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Sean Rosensteel: To make sure, hey, you know what, I’m kind of off here. Hey, I, you know, had some and I was angry with my significant other. This way I had some outbursts with you know him or her. This week, or
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Sean Rosensteel: You know, I didn’t get along with that employee, you know, we should. I should really correct that maybe this week, I can sit down, have a meeting with my
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Sean Rosensteel: Direct report or with my manager whatever and just kind of clear the air a little bit because it could happen again and again and 10 times and I’m fired or she’s fired or, you know,
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Sean Rosensteel: It’s like these things if left unchecked can turn into like something cancerous. Right.
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Jason Mefford: Well, so having those those little self check ins is important. You know, like you said, doing it weekly. You know, I mean, if you’re a leader you should probably be doing a little bit of each day you know as well so that you’re prepared for the next day.
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Jason Mefford: You know, and thinking about it and all these different facets of your life as well. But I know too because one of the things we started talking about before we, before we hit record that I kind of wanted to wrap up on
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Jason Mefford: You know, here to is this whole idea that you had because it’s important for us to do this individually, and we should be accountable and responsible to do it.
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Jason Mefford: But this whole idea that you had around extracurricular activities, you know, with your school metaphor.
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Jason Mefford: And in getting involved with like minded people. I wanted to kind of wrap up with because I think, you know, at least for me in my life. I’ve seen that. What I’ve been involved in those type of communities. It’s helped me keep that momentum.
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Jason Mefford: Or helped me get going.
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Jason Mefford: Right. It’s like if your son had gone out and tried to learn how to ride his bike by himself.
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Jason Mefford: Good luck. Right. But because you were there, there was a community, if you will. You were helping him you know how to do it, you’re helping to bring him along to
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Jason Mefford: Let it seems like that’s the, that’s the cherry on the top of the Sunday, if you will, that when we finally have something like that in a support system to then you know the power of many is greater than the power of one
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Sean Rosensteel: Sure, yeah. I love that I agree with you wholeheartedly.
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Sean Rosensteel: Communities give you accountability. They give you coaching, they give you camaraderie.
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Sean Rosensteel: It’s so important, and I learned this very late in life, because
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Sean Rosensteel: My, my parents were religious enough but they they gave me a choice, and I wasn’t very religious, and so I never really had like I didn’t go to church every Sunday. Like a lot of my peers, did my parents dead and
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Sean Rosensteel: I never really understood the value of a community.
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Sean Rosensteel: Up until probably eight, nine years ago. And when you can surround yourself to what you suggested with people who are like minded and they are looking to
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Sean Rosensteel: They have the same desires that you have looking to you know move towards the same things when they’re struggling with the same things that you are
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Sean Rosensteel: I talked about Napoleon Hill earlier but you know he talks about the the power of the mastermind.
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Sean Rosensteel: And how one brain plus one brain doesn’t equal to it equals three or more, because there’s just this magic that takes place.
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Sean Rosensteel: And you don’t need a big community, you could do to people. I mean, I have accountability meetings with
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Sean Rosensteel: Certain people in my inner circle every two weeks, and it’s 90 minutes of magic because I have blind spots. They have fresh perspectives, vice versa. It’s an amazing meeting that takes place.
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Sean Rosensteel: So you don’t have to have a big community, but it is so important. And I think the bigger the community, the better because you get more perspective.
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Sean Rosensteel: You get more of that camaraderie, you get more accountability, you get more coaching and guidance and you have more people that that can really empathize.
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Sean Rosensteel: With whatever it is you’re struggling with like I years ago I looked at, you know, your, your, what’s the old saying like, you’re the average of your five closest
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Jason Mefford: Did Jim Rome. Yeah.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah. So yep
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Sean Rosensteel: And I was like, wow, I need to make some changes here.
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Sean Rosensteel: You know, and now I’m so blessed to say like, I look at some of my the people I connect with on a daily basis. And I think what’s difficult and I struggled with this for a while. It’s like my wife is not into growth. I mean, she is to a certain degree, but for me it’s like an addiction.
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Sean Rosensteel: I love it.
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Sean Rosensteel: I love the pursuit of knowledge. In fact, every once while she had this this issue and I don’t remember what it was about six months ago, but she had like this burning desire to just get the information she needed
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Sean Rosensteel: And fix it and for like an entire week, man. She was consuming information. She just devour and books. I was just like wow you’re on fire. I love to see you this way. She was inspired. Yeah.
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Sean Rosensteel: And and and I want to live my life like that always and what’s neat about being in the real world and having multiple areas is like
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Sean Rosensteel: Life can be fascinating. If you know what to look for. And if you know what to tune into and when you can get to a place where you’re open to belong to a community for a long time. I was like, I’m just independent. I’m going to do this on my own.
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Sean Rosensteel: For a long time, I’m like, I don’t need anyone’s help
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Jason Mefford: Well, good, because I get I hear that from lots of people, you know, and it’s like, I don’t know if it’s
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Jason Mefford: If it’s our ego, you know, that’s thinking, well, I already know it i don’t i don’t need somebody else. I’m not sure if it’s really the ego or if it’s just that we’re scared to admit to other people that were human
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, and we don’t have everything together.
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, I think it’s
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Jason Mefford: I think it’s I think it’s more that yeah probably more scared than it’s our unwillingness to become vulnerable.
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Sean Rosensteel: And that’s ego to. I mean, if you really want. Yeah, yeah. It is ego, it can work and you know different ways but absolutely we’re in our own way with that. But I think if you
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Sean Rosensteel: Are feeling like a community might be something that could benefit you. Because one of the other things. Jason is like I’m a big fan. We’re talking about laws today, right. I’m a big fan of the law of reciprocity.
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Sean Rosensteel: And what I’ve found is if I want to get something like if there’s something out there. I want to get. I wanted to get to the next level in my business or I want to get a book published or written or I want to get to the next level with my relationship or anything.
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Sean Rosensteel: If I ever want to get something I always like my go to places like how can I give it first.
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Sean Rosensteel: Like how fast and how rapid, can I give this thing I want to get to other people because the law of reciprocity magically kicks in and all of a sudden, it gets returned spades.
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Sean Rosensteel: So what I love about communities and the ones that I feel most connected with the ones that I’m most fulfilled by are the ones where I go all out and participate and I engage and I really try to add value to the other members of the community.
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Sean Rosensteel: Because I find that just attracts all the solutions and all the connections and other relationships I need. I mean selfishly
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Sean Rosensteel: I try to make the first move, and give because I just trust that whether it’s karma, you know, whatever you want to call it. I just trust that it’ll come back and if it doesn’t
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Sean Rosensteel: I’m okay. I’m okay. Because I delivered some value. I tried to help someone else out. I tried to serve to the best of my ability, and I feel good about myself. I wasn’t sitting, you know, in the corner just not participating because of my ego. Right.
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Sean Rosensteel: So yeah communities. Awesome.
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Sean Rosensteel: And what’s so neat is because I hear people and I wrote about this in the book.
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Sean Rosensteel: You know you if I wanted to get rid of my fear of public speaking. I used to freak out. So I joined Toastmasters for about 18 months and that community was unbelievable.
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Sean Rosensteel: There are like knitting communities in all local areas there are cooking classes like they’re just can be anything you want. You can find a community for and
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Sean Rosensteel: Now that it’s covert because I hear a lot of, well, I can’t do that anymore. Yes, you can. There are online communities, LinkedIn, Facebook.
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Sean Rosensteel: Any major platform. You can find communities where you can tap into and
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Sean Rosensteel: Work with other people and share things with other people who are like minded going after the same things struggling with the same things and you can make some lifelong friendships and back to what I was saying about my wife. I used to. I used to
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Sean Rosensteel: Have a really hard time that she wasn’t into the same things that I was into and I wasn’t respectful of that.
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Sean Rosensteel: I was always like, Gosh, you know, if she would only be more growth oriented if she would only be. And I’m like, you know, I need to respect and appreciate and love her for wherever she is. She does. She does that to me.
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Sean Rosensteel: I’m a
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Sean Rosensteel: I’m a nut with this stuff. And she loves me, just the way I am. So I need to love her. Just the way she is, you know, and for that sort of thing. I love communities because I
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Sean Rosensteel: I value that discussion and going below the surface on certain topics I’m most topics but not everybody in my life. Not all my friends. Not all my family members are willing to do that.
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Sean Rosensteel: And that’s okay. But if I can identify the right community now I can just, you know, it’s like you’re on fire and the right communities because you finally found your tribe, so to speak, right.
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Jason Mefford: Well, and that’s why it is it’s so important. And that’s why I’ve been. I’ve been trying to push it. And I mean, again, you’re, you’re just
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Jason Mefford: You know, reiterating the importance of it that that you know whatever is holding you back go out and find a community, you know, again, and it doesn’t
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Jason Mefford: You know, yeah, you can have them for your, you know, professional life, obviously, but there’s so many different facets.
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Jason Mefford: Of us as humans, right, that if you want to go join the knitting club good China knitting club. And if you want to go take yoga or painting or
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Jason Mefford: You know, whatever, you know, if it’s a craft kind of thing. Or maybe it’s, you know, I love going to things like Renaissance fairs.
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Jason Mefford: And and you know battle reenactments you know because because those communities. You know, like Civil War reenactment groups. I mean, these people like live and
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Jason Mefford: Breathe. This thing when they’re. I mean, they go into it’s live action role play right at that point because they have this whole persona around it.
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Jason Mefford: And that it to me. It’s so fascinating and wonderful right that we all have communities where we can go. We just got to reach out and do it, but that that makes us, that gives us a more whole life.
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Sean Rosensteel: Sure.
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Sean Rosensteel: I love though. Yeah, I love that you can find anything. I’m obsessed with pinball
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Jason Mefford: No.
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Sean Rosensteel: No, it’s like
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Jason Mefford: How you came across Phil to
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Jason Mefford: He’s a
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Sean Rosensteel: Wizard so
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Sean Rosensteel: He thinks he is
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Jason Mefford: Basically yes
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Jason Mefford: I got to see you to play is yet to meet me know. But what’s interesting, Jason is I met Phil back in 2012
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Sean Rosensteel: He was, he was just an incredible ambassador for a business that my wife and I started back then.
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Sean Rosensteel: But that’s how I met him, and we’ve known each other for eight years and we’ve done some podcasts things back and a lot of collaborations and just like two months ago, I realized I learned that he was a pinball like that never came up for it.
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Jason Mefford: Never came up before
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah.
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Sean Rosensteel: It’s just crazy. But I’m more into restoring them than playing them, but I like both. And I don’t have a lot of time anymore but
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, I can find. I mean, anywhere I go, I can literally when I used to travel. I would put a little alert up on a pinball app. And I would have. I’m not kidding dozens
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Sean Rosensteel: Of invites of pinball enthusiasts to come over into their personal private collection in their home.
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Sean Rosensteel: And when I would travel, I would look for people around the hotel. I was staying at I’d put out the alert and I’d have plans that evening. I mean, you can find communities for anything you can possibly imagine. I mean, it sounds funny, but your war react. I mean,
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Sean Rosensteel: Anything everything. Yeah, which is so neat because then we realize okay like we’re a little bit of a freak, but not that much because all these other people are doing it too. Right.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah well and it provides us a much more, you know, full life, which, you know, again, I mean, I know that you know
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Jason Mefford: Our discussion today wasn’t as technical as some of the stuff that I get into or is professionally, you know, maybe motivated or, mindset wise but so important for us to
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Jason Mefford: Live a full and happy life right because because just being one dimensional, you know, just like you talked about in the school analogy.
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Jason Mefford: Isn’t going to get you through we’re multi dimensional people and the more actual connection that we have with other people, you know, whether it’s through these communities or what have you, the more that we learn and grow and develop in all areas of our life.
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Jason Mefford: Right, the better off. We’re going to be the better off we leave this planet. Whenever we end up kicking off two
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Jason Mefford: Is make the
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Jason Mefford: Camera if it was you to that you know that we’re saying, you know, make make make this world a better place. And when you walk into it. Yeah, it was you. I think I was, you said that before too. Right. You know when you
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Jason Mefford: Get into a room. Leave it better than you, then you entered
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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, my grandmother always used to tell us a little kids, you know, hey, because we, you know, come into the room, leave it a mass walk out. She back a
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Sean Rosensteel: Third time you walk into a
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Sean Rosensteel: Room, leave it in better condition than you found it and I tried to she’s no longer with us. But I tried to apply that philosophy.
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Sean Rosensteel: To my entire life. And I just simply swap out the world. The word room with the world with the planet.
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Sean Rosensteel: You know, so I’d like to think that. And that, for me, is part of the definition of intentional living is leaving this world in better condition, then when you arrived, and I think we all have the potential to do that.
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Jason Mefford: Well, we do if we, you know, are responsible, and we actually try to do things intentionally and if that because if that is our intention, then we can accomplish it.
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Sean Rosensteel: Sure, so
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Sean Rosensteel: Well, Sean. Thank you.
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Jason Mefford: Thank you for coming on. It was great talking to you again, my friend, and yeah.
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Sean Rosensteel: Likewise, I hope your listeners don’t mind that we went a little bit
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Jason Mefford: Normally if they do, it doesn’t
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Jason Mefford: Matter. They know I’m kind of, you know, I’m. What do you say a weirdo. Right.
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Jason Mefford: You know that
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Jason Mefford: Because it’s it’s important because I I want people to live the best life that they can, yeah. Part of the part of that, sir, professional life, but you know so much more of your total life if that’s all you focus on
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Jason Mefford: You know,
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Jason Mefford: You can go down a really bad path. But yeah, you know, the, the more holistic, we try to live in general.
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Jason Mefford: And and and plug into all these different things keep checking back in, make sure that we’re doing, you know, leaving the room better than we entered, then
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Jason Mefford: You know, it’s great. So I appreciate you talking taking the time today and you know for putting out the book and the good that you’re doing in the world as well so
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Sean Rosensteel: Thank you.
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Jason Mefford: Thank you.
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Sean Rosensteel: Thanks for having me, Jason. All right. We’ll talk to later, man. Okay.
