The Beatles were right when they said “I get by with a little help from my friends.” In fact the only way we get by is with help from our friends. Sometime though we get the idea we need push forward and do everything ourself. I get it. We are taught to be independent and do things ourself. This was engrained in me my whole life.
The truth is, we all need the help of others and need to be there to help others. In fact, if you don’t think you need help … you probably needs the most help. Also, the further we get in our career, the more we need help, but the less we reach out.
Trying to do the job alone often leads to emotional, psychological, and even physical pain. Yes, you’ll hear how I broke my hand trying to do it by myself, and also a story of a bricklayer trying to do the job alone that I heard almost 30 years ago that has stuck with me ever since.
I even need your help, and when you listen, you’ll find out how.
To listen and for complete show notes and links to downloads, visit: http://www.jasonmefford.com/jammingwithjason/
or subscribe and listen wherever you enjoy listening to podcasts: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, PodBean, Google Play Music, or YouTube: https://studio.youtube.com/channel/jasonmefford
The #1 #internalauditpodcast in the world has interviews and discussions (jam sessions) relevant to Chief Audit Executives and professionals in #internalaudit, risk management, and compliance.
If you’d like to get added to the CAE Forum Waitlist mentioned in this article, visit: https://jasonmefford.mykajabi.com/cae-forum-waitlist-page
Transcript
1
00:00:01.680 –> 00:00:12.360
Well welcome my friends to another episode of jammin with Jason. I’m excited to be back here with you today and I’m going to do something a little bit different this week.
2
00:00:13.019 –> 00:00:22.320
I’m actually going to share a story with you and we’re going to talk about a concept that kind of goes along with that particular story.
3
00:00:22.830 –> 00:00:28.170
So you’re gonna want to hang around for the whole thing, because I’m going to go through, like I said, share a story with you.
4
00:00:28.890 –> 00:00:42.960
That actually I first heard about 30 years ago and it’s just a story that has kind of stuck with me that I’ve learned from and I want to kind of incorporate that into the topic that we’re going to be discussing today.
5
00:00:43.830 –> 00:00:56.190
But before we get to that a couple of housekeeping items for you. First thing, if you’re listening to this, make sure if you haven’t already to go out and leave me a review.
6
00:00:56.700 –> 00:01:04.890
Now the reason for that is the way the algorithms and everything work on the podcast sites is the more reviews, you actually have
7
00:01:05.340 –> 00:01:16.080
The higher things will come in the search results. And so the first thing is, you know, I’m trying to do what I can to make sure that people are aware that this podcast exists.
8
00:01:16.530 –> 00:01:24.780
But I need your help. And so one of the there’s kind of two things that you can do to be able to help me. And so, it asked you to do that.
9
00:01:25.410 –> 00:01:31.650
To help me again, spread the word and out there and get more people actually listening.
10
00:01:32.220 –> 00:01:39.750
Each week, so if you find this valuable if you’re listening every week. Here’s a couple things that I would like you to do for me.
11
00:01:40.560 –> 00:01:50.580
First off is go ahead and share this with everybody that, you know, so if you know somebody else that you think would benefit by listening to the podcast each week.
12
00:01:51.390 –> 00:02:00.300
friends, colleagues, please make sure to let them know you could send them an email a text, however you normally communicate and say, hey,
13
00:02:00.660 –> 00:02:12.600
There’s this really great podcast. I’ve been listening to and I think that you would also benefit from that as well. So that’s the first thing to help me is if you would let others know about this.
14
00:02:13.200 –> 00:02:25.650
Because again, my, my goal is to be here to serve and to provide information and these jam sessions, which usually end up either being me discussing or me interviewing people
15
00:02:26.550 –> 00:02:37.320
And and have that be relevant for chief audit executives and professionals in internal audit risk and compliance. Not a lot out there.
16
00:02:37.860 –> 00:02:50.400
For our people and so like I said just the more people that are aware of it. I would be really appreciative. The second thing is, as I mentioned before, the podcast services usually
17
00:02:51.090 –> 00:03:00.120
They have algorithms and other stuff for search and the more people that are actually providing or leaving feedback and comments about the podcast.
18
00:03:00.720 –> 00:03:08.850
Especially if you really love this and want to give it a five star rating, the more people that actually do that. It helps in a couple of ways.
19
00:03:09.300 –> 00:03:24.600
First off, I don’t actually know how many people are listening each week. That’s one thing about a podcast, you don’t really know how many people are subscribing and actually listening every single week. So, leaving a review helps me know that people are actually listening.
20
00:03:25.920 –> 00:03:33.630
And it also helps in search results. So for example, if somebody you know let’s say an internal audit and says, hey, I’d like to listen to
21
00:03:34.110 –> 00:03:52.230
A podcast on internal audit if they type search in the search bar and put internal audit in there, leaving reviews will help this to actually get raised in the search results so that people can actually find it now. No, excuse me.
22
00:03:53.310 –> 00:04:02.730
The other thing, too, is if you if you leave me a review and actually write a review and let me know what you really like about the podcast.
23
00:04:03.120 –> 00:04:14.550
And maybe some things you’d like to see in the future that will provide me with feedback so that I can always be improving what I’m actually doing and providing to you.
24
00:04:15.210 –> 00:04:23.340
So like I said, that would really help me if you will do that if you’re listening to this on iTunes or Apple podcast right now.
25
00:04:23.880 –> 00:04:34.530
Actually while you’re listening to, to this episode. If you go back to the main page for jammin with Jason scroll to the bottom.
26
00:04:35.040 –> 00:04:44.970
That’s where you can actually leave a review. So take a minute, as you’re listening, just go back to that scroll down, give us a five star review and then put in
27
00:04:45.600 –> 00:04:54.030
Some comments in that review as well. And like I said, that would really help me and I would really appreciate that. So,
28
00:04:54.720 –> 00:05:06.090
As I started off with you’ll notice I said a couple times, I need your help. And that’s kind of the, the, the concept that we want to talk about that. I want to talk about today with you is that
29
00:05:06.810 –> 00:05:18.030
We all need help and you know I think sometimes, especially for people like me. I was raised to be very independent
30
00:05:18.600 –> 00:05:26.520
My parents taught me that I was, you know, supposed to pull up, you know, pull up, pull on boots on, and stand up and pull my big boy pants on.
31
00:05:26.940 –> 00:05:34.740
And actually do things and and not really rely on other people but that it was up to me to get things done.
32
00:05:35.220 –> 00:05:42.450
And so I’ve always had this very independent spirit that, you know, I can just accomplish and do everything that I need to
33
00:05:43.290 –> 00:05:49.290
as I’ve gotten older, hopefully I’ve gotten a little wiser and I realized that while that is important.
34
00:05:49.980 –> 00:06:00.510
We all need some help from time to time. And the more that we reach out and actually get the help of others, the better. All of us are
35
00:06:01.140 –> 00:06:18.030
Because working on things doing things together, we can make much more progress than we can, if we are all individually doing it by ourselves. And so, you know, even. And what I found to, you know, being a chief audit executive two times is
36
00:06:19.110 –> 00:06:27.270
The further you go up in your career, the more we kind of believe we don’t need help, because we’ve already kind of gotten there.
37
00:06:27.690 –> 00:06:38.340
But the reality is that’s the time when we probably need the most help. And the reason for that is often we are kind of alone, we don’t have the same peer groups that we did.
38
00:06:38.970 –> 00:06:46.230
As we were lower lower levels in our career and often the challenges that we’re dealing with are much bigger.
39
00:06:46.740 –> 00:06:51.060
They have much more of an impact on our organizations and on us personally
40
00:06:51.540 –> 00:06:57.990
And so, you know, at sometimes those times when you feel like, Well, I’ve already made it. I don’t need any help now.
41
00:06:58.380 –> 00:07:08.130
That’s actually the time when you probably need the help the most. And like I said, I know it’s it’s a little ironic, but I’ve seen that on my in my career as well.
42
00:07:08.640 –> 00:07:16.950
And so just kind of throwing that out there. If you don’t feel like you need help, you probably are the one who really does need help.
43
00:07:17.490 –> 00:07:27.690
And towards the end of the podcast. I’ll talk a little bit more about that because I wanted to move now into sharing a story with you that kind of illustrates this concept.
44
00:07:28.800 –> 00:07:51.570
Now I’m actually going to read it to you because this, this happens to be. And like I said, this was a story that I heard probably 30 years ago and it’s an old urban legend that based on kind of my research showed up in print somewhere in the late 1800s, early 1900s and it’s been
45
00:07:52.590 –> 00:08:07.530
It’s been redone and kind of some different formats and slightly different wording and slightly different context, but the one that I’m that I’m going to use is called a bricklayers accident report and this is really
46
00:08:08.550 –> 00:08:21.510
It’s kind of a funny, funny story about what can happen when we try to do the job alone. And so you’ll see again as I was talking before we all need help.
47
00:08:22.020 –> 00:08:39.780
And we all need the help of others and and sometimes when you try to do things by yourself, you end up hurting yourself. So, this version was actually one it was. I think this happened to be one that was, was published by somebody in Australia. Because it, it
48
00:08:40.950 –> 00:08:49.980
Was kind of talking about workers compensation issues and the fact of, you know, if an employee tries to do certain things by themselves.
49
00:08:50.580 –> 00:08:56.460
The things that can actually happen. And so the way this version of the story is written.
50
00:08:57.240 –> 00:09:09.720
Is the fact that you know this person who was injured at work. This bricklayer, who was injured at work is actually responding to a letter of inquiry.
51
00:09:10.140 –> 00:09:20.940
So he got hurt. He filled out a workers comp claim and in this group is sending him a letter saying, hey, can you explain this to us because we’re not quite sure.
52
00:09:21.450 –> 00:09:27.180
What actually happened. So let me go through and just read this story to your right now.
53
00:09:28.020 –> 00:09:36.180
And then we’re going to talk about kind of the concept again at the end. So again, imagine that this person is writing a letter back
54
00:09:36.780 –> 00:09:45.870
And it says, Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in block three of the accident report form.
55
00:09:46.530 –> 00:10:06.150
I put poor planning as the cause of my accident you ask for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the rough of a news six story building
56
00:10:07.290 –> 00:10:18.390
When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 pounds.
57
00:10:19.080 –> 00:10:29.850
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
58
00:10:30.630 –> 00:10:45.210
Securing the rope, but the ground. I went up to the roof swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope holding it slightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
59
00:10:46.680 –> 00:11:03.390
You will note in block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175 pounds due to my surprise, it being jerked off the ground so suddenly I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
60
00:11:04.050 –> 00:11:13.860
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building in the vicinity of the third floor. I met the barrel.
61
00:11:14.490 –> 00:11:30.270
Which was now proceeding downward at an equal impressive speed this explain the fractured skull minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone as listed in section three of the accident report form.
62
00:11:32.100 –> 00:11:41.460
Slowed only slightly I continued my rapid ascent not stopping until my fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the poly
63
00:11:42.270 –> 00:11:54.360
Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of being beginning to experience a great deal of pain.
64
00:11:55.200 –> 00:12:02.400
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
65
00:12:03.090 –> 00:12:11.820
Now, devoid of the weight of the bricks that barrel weight approximately 50 pounds I refer you again to my weight.
66
00:12:12.660 –> 00:12:29.400
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building in the vicinity of the third floor. I met the barrel coming up this accounts for the two fractured ankles broken tooth and several lacerations on my legs and lower body.
67
00:12:30.450 –> 00:12:44.700
Here my luck began to change slightly the encounter with a barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked
68
00:12:45.570 –> 00:12:55.980
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain. Unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind.
69
00:12:56.490 –> 00:13:10.380
And let go of the rope, as I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down on to me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry.
70
00:13:11.160 –> 00:13:25.950
Now, again, it’s kind of a silly story. But like I said, this is something that is I heard a different version of it about 30 years ago and I’ve heard several different versions since then. But this I think really kind of shows again this this man.
71
00:13:27.210 –> 00:13:39.210
You know encountered all of these different things broken vertebrae legs fractured skull, all these different things, because he was trying to do the job by himself.
72
00:13:39.900 –> 00:13:51.900
And I you know I get it, you know, we’re told to do things ourselves and to be independent, just like I talked about before, but when we choose to do things by ourselves.
73
00:13:52.950 –> 00:14:02.640
Often things like this may happen. Now, I’m not saying if you do things by yourself like this that you’re going to get broken legs and everything else like is in the story.
74
00:14:03.660 –> 00:14:08.550
But sometimes, that is the case, I’ma share story with with you about me here in just a minute.
75
00:14:09.810 –> 00:14:19.410
And so again, but but what I want to bring home to you is the fact that doing it by yourself is ok you know we need to have this independent spirit.
76
00:14:20.010 –> 00:14:29.790
But we need to also have the help of others because invariably, what will happen is when we try to do things by ourselves.
77
00:14:30.360 –> 00:14:40.080
When we know we need help, but we think we’re just going to push through. We’re just going to make it because we can do this even though in the back of our mind, we know we need some help.
78
00:14:40.620 –> 00:14:51.750
We end up just like this bricklayer. Now, it might not be broken bones, but it can be other things, emotional, mental psychological issues that we have to deal with.
79
00:14:52.290 –> 00:15:04.140
So let me tell you the story about myself. And this actually did lead to a broken bone. Okay, I’ve done a lot of kind of crazy stuff in my life. I got a lot of cuts and scratch.
80
00:15:05.370 –> 00:15:13.860
And bruises throughout my life but I have only ever broken a bone one time and it was a it was a bone.
81
00:15:14.640 –> 00:15:37.830
On my hand and here’s kind of the story of me trying to do something by myself. So my wife and I had just moved into a new home and the closet. You know where we put our clothes was too small. And so I went down to Ikea. And I bought a new little kind of portable or
82
00:15:39.540 –> 00:15:52.080
Closet wardrobe that I could actually put in our room to be able to hang up my clothes on. And so this was it was it was a big piece of furniture. It was probably almost eight feet tall.
83
00:15:52.980 –> 00:16:03.510
And about four feet wide and of course with IKEA furniture. If you’ve ever dealt with that you you bring it home and boxes and then you have to put it together.
84
00:16:04.530 –> 00:16:16.140
And so again, I’ve, you know, I grew up as the son of a contractor. And so I was very familiar with tools and putting things together. So I started putting this thing together by myself.
85
00:16:16.740 –> 00:16:26.280
Now, of course, in the instructions from IKEA. It has the little pictures that show you know not, don’t do this by yourself and chose a picture of two people.
86
00:16:27.000 –> 00:16:36.240
But again, I thought, now you know I can do this. This is no problem. This is easy. I put together. Lots of furniture like this before. And so I just started putting it together.
87
00:16:37.080 –> 00:16:57.420
I got the whole thing together and one part of the story that I didn’t tell you is we chose to get the the front doors on on the wardrobe, we got were mirrored and so the doors were actually quite heavy because we wanted to be able to have that mirror in our room as well.
88
00:16:58.470 –> 00:17:07.320
So I put everything together. I got it all situated and and set it up pushed it up against the wall. And again, normally you know the the the
89
00:17:08.820 –> 00:17:14.910
The furniture just sits there nicely. Another part of the story is our bedroom had carpet in it.
90
00:17:15.480 –> 00:17:22.200
So I pushed everything back up into the corner. It was sitting there, perfectly LOOKED WONDERFUL. Just like it needed to be
91
00:17:22.650 –> 00:17:30.450
So I thought, okay, this is great. I opened the door and I start to try to put some of my clothes into the wardrobe thinking that I was all done.
92
00:17:31.110 –> 00:17:40.050
Now when I did that the weight of the doors and the weight of the clothes in the wardrobe caused it to fall over on top of me.
93
00:17:40.950 –> 00:17:49.920
Now, just like the brittle hair, all of a sudden there I was laying on the ground with this wardrobe of clothes on top of me.
94
00:17:50.670 –> 00:18:03.660
Now, it didn’t damage the wardrobe. But I was was rather not in a good emotional state. And so I slammed my hand down on the floor in a fit of anger.
95
00:18:04.140 –> 00:18:14.520
And didn’t realize that there happened to be something on the floor right there and exactly where I hit all of a sudden immediately I could feel the pain.
96
00:18:15.090 –> 00:18:25.110
And the swelling in my hand and I looked down and I could see that my finger was not right. It was sticking out a way that it is not supposed to be sticking out.
97
00:18:25.590 –> 00:18:36.510
And so I had to go down to the doctor, get it set all those kind of things. Now why am I telling you this story, because again, like I said, we all need help from time to time.
98
00:18:36.930 –> 00:18:46.740
And because I chose not to have someone else helped me with a job that I really knew. I probably needed help with
99
00:18:47.250 –> 00:18:56.700
But I chose to ignore that and thought, nope, I’m just going to do this by myself. The problem was, it ended up leading to me, breaking my finger.
100
00:18:57.180 –> 00:19:05.340
Now, it ended up that I had a cast all the way up my arm or, you know, up to my elbow on it because they had to, I had to mobilize it and put it in place.
101
00:19:05.760 –> 00:19:16.080
I had to live with that for the next four to six weeks even fall I was traveling around the world and trying to figure out how to put my clothes on, with one hand because I couldn’t use my left hand.
102
00:19:16.830 –> 00:19:26.640
So again, the reason why I’m sharing this with you is to realize that when we need help. It’s okay to reach out and ask for help.
103
00:19:27.570 –> 00:19:36.180
You know certain things are out there. We have groups of friends. We have other things like that. And let me tell you the truth. You know, a lot of times we
104
00:19:36.510 –> 00:19:43.800
are hesitant to ask for help because it actually takes courage it takes courage to admit that we need someone else’s help
105
00:19:44.400 –> 00:19:54.090
But what i’ll tell you from, you know, my personal life and my career. The more we try to go alone without having the help of others.
106
00:19:54.480 –> 00:20:01.260
Eventually it catches up to us and just like my BROKEN HAND, we end up all having some of those things that happen.
107
00:20:01.950 –> 00:20:15.780
Now in our career. It might not be a broken bone, but it might be getting fired it might be, you know, looking like an idiot in the company and having to deal with the political fallout from that.
108
00:20:16.500 –> 00:20:26.790
There’s lots of different ways that this can show up. And so again, you know, like I said at the beginning, if you’re someone who feels like you don’t need anybody’s help
109
00:20:27.360 –> 00:20:42.330
Chances are, you need help more than other people do and it’s time for you to actually have that courage to reach out and help other people because you know when we do that when we try to do things by ourselves, often
110
00:20:44.280 –> 00:20:52.320
We end up feeling alone and isolated and we just think if I just pushed harder. I’m going to make it through everything is going to be fine.
111
00:20:52.980 –> 00:21:00.900
But what is actually going on inside of us is often we feel like we’re carrying this huge weight with us.
112
00:21:01.500 –> 00:21:12.060
And if you’ve ever carried something that is very, very heavy. You can do it for a while, but eventually your legs and everything else start to get very tired.
113
00:21:12.450 –> 00:21:20.490
And we end up risking falling down and that can happen, like I said, emotionally, mentally or physically in our lives.
114
00:21:21.060 –> 00:21:35.430
And so, you know, again, it’s better at that point to actually ask for help, you know, join groups get in, get in a mastermind group join a forum like the chief audit executive forum that I have
115
00:21:35.880 –> 00:21:47.400
Where you can actually get the support and the help of others because like I said when we try to do things by ourselves, inevitably, we end up hurting ourselves.
116
00:21:48.450 –> 00:21:58.470
So don’t do it alone. Don’t be like the bricklayer, don’t be like me breaking my hand because I was afraid.
117
00:21:59.010 –> 00:22:04.020
Or thought I could do it on my own. When I should have been reaching out for help.
118
00:22:04.590 –> 00:22:16.050
So that’s kind of the message today is, you know, realize that it’s perfectly okay to reach out for help if you need help find a coach, find a mentor.
119
00:22:16.530 –> 00:22:26.190
Join groups or other things like that where you can actually, you know, get answers to your questions get the support of other people around you.
120
00:22:26.670 –> 00:22:36.720
Because when you do, I promise. We are stronger together than we are all individually. So with that, I’m going to kind of wrap it up.
121
00:22:37.440 –> 00:22:47.910
Now I did want to let you know to my the chief audit executive forum that I run. We’re going to be opening that up to membership again in just a little bit.
122
00:22:48.390 –> 00:22:58.170
We only open that up a couple times a year. And so if you’re a chief audit executive and feel like you would like to get some help from other people as well.
123
00:22:58.560 –> 00:23:08.070
And join a group of like minded people. Or you can have, you know, frank and open conversations that are confidential with your peers.
124
00:23:08.850 –> 00:23:20.850
Just to let you know that’s going to be opening up again later in August. Now if you are interested in this and would like to kind of get a jumpstart on everybody else.
125
00:23:21.210 –> 00:23:29.220
I have created a waitlist and so I’ll leave a link here in on the website that if you’re interested.
126
00:23:29.790 –> 00:23:39.240
In something like this, I would encourage you to get yourself added to the waitlist click on the link go out, add yourself to the waitlist
127
00:23:40.020 –> 00:23:47.910
Because here’s how the process works. I go through and interview everybody to see if they are actually a fit for the group.
128
00:23:48.390 –> 00:23:53.640
Because you have to apply for membership and you have to be allowed into the group.
129
00:23:54.390 –> 00:24:01.890
And it’s on a first come first serve basis. So when I fill up and the number of people that are going to be led in this time.
130
00:24:02.490 –> 00:24:12.720
When I have that number of people. It’s over. And so sometimes. Again, we might not even get outside of the waitlist and it may not actually go to the public.
131
00:24:13.200 –> 00:24:25.740
For them to be able to sign up. So on the waitlist you actually find out before everyone else does when it’s actually ready to open so that way you can get your application in
132
00:24:26.220 –> 00:24:37.080
Before other people do to make sure that you are at the front of the line. So again, if that’s something that’s of interest to you. I’ve got the links down below so that you can go ahead and sign up for that.
133
00:24:38.070 –> 00:24:50.160
Because we will be opening that up later this month. So with that, my friends go out, have a great week. And remember, don’t try to do the job alone.
134
00:24:50.700 –> 00:25:12.360
Make sure that you have the the support of others. And when you do need help, have the courage to actually reach out, ask for help and and be there for others when they need help as well. So with that, have a great week, and I will see you on a future episode of jammin with Jason
