With a lot of uncertainty about how long quarantine will be while lacking the ability to personally interact with other people, travel for a vacation, or attend public events
a lot of people are having stress build up while not being able to de-stress in the old ways that we have been able to. 

On top of that in today’s age of social media in a politically fractured nation we have been prolonging and potentiating our trauma associated with the covid lockdown. 

In todays episode we discuss how to help de-stress and cope with any emotional trauma we have been dealing with over the course of this last year. 

Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/fireandearthpodcast/


00:00:01.500 –> 00:00:06.629
Kathy Gruver: hey everybody, welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast i’m your co host Kathy Gruber.

00:00:06.930 –> 00:00:17.160
Jason Mefford: And i’m Jason medford and today we wanted to talk about something and we’re going to throw out a term here that many of you at first might say that’s not me.

00:00:17.789 –> 00:00:22.800
Jason Mefford: But I think you just start thinking about it and realizing as we’re talking today you’re going to realize.

00:00:23.190 –> 00:00:33.000
Jason Mefford: that many of us, you know if not you at least a lot of people around you are going through what i’ve just kind of coined code ptsd.

00:00:33.600 –> 00:00:37.650
Jason Mefford: And you know that post traumatic stress disorder or ptsd.

00:00:38.340 –> 00:00:47.070
Jason Mefford: That we talked about is something that is real in fact there’s been a lot of studies, based on military people and other stuff so we want to get in and talk a little bit today.

00:00:47.580 –> 00:01:08.280
Jason Mefford: About ptsd because there’s a very good chance that you or someone in your life is probably experiencing some mild grade ptsd from all the shit we’ve been going through, for the last year, plus as it relates to coven and some of the isolation so let’s get started Kathy hey.

00:01:08.640 –> 00:01:19.110
Kathy Gruver: yeah I think that’s a great idea and it’s interesting because it’s been now a year since i’ve been on a plane it’s been a year since i’ve done a talk in person, and the last talk I did was in or.

00:01:19.620 –> 00:01:24.420
Kathy Gruver: Somewhere in Texas Houston and it was sort of the week that everything started to shut down.

00:01:24.780 –> 00:01:38.400
Kathy Gruver: I did my talk and then three days later newsome in California shut the state down so that was sort of the last bastion of speaking, that I got to do and the woman said because i’m doing my stress talk and the woman said, you know, are you going to talk about coven and I went.

00:01:39.630 –> 00:01:49.200
Kathy Gruver: No like what am I going to say, and this was so early on in the days and I said no, what is there to say, but like it’s the same stresses everything else, and then I sat down and really looked at that and I realized.

00:01:49.980 –> 00:01:59.310
Kathy Gruver: it’s not the same stresses everything else you know most stress that we’re dealing with is this perception of stress it’s this imagine stress it’s this future based stress and coven is that.

00:01:59.670 –> 00:02:09.690
Kathy Gruver: But it also is here and now, like you could get really sick it’s a very scary thing, and I also realized that the the things that we used to do to de stress were taken from us.

00:02:10.320 –> 00:02:18.120
Kathy Gruver: There were so many unknowns about how it’s transmitted and how it’s going to affect you and when you’re contagious and how long we’re going to have to stay inside.

00:02:18.450 –> 00:02:25.260
Kathy Gruver: You know my boyfriend moved in on march 21 thinking it’ll be a week or two, we can sequester together.

00:02:25.500 –> 00:02:33.510
Kathy Gruver: And here we are on day I check my calendar down here, we are a day and who knows when this is airing but we never been living together pretty much a year we love it if we made it permanent.

00:02:34.170 –> 00:02:39.240
Kathy Gruver: But you know we thought this was going to be just this temporary thing, so I think one of the things that has led to this.

00:02:39.840 –> 00:02:44.880
Kathy Gruver: First of all, everyone’s exhausted from not knowing when stuffs gonna happen that quarantine fatigue.

00:02:45.150 –> 00:02:59.160
Kathy Gruver: But also we’ve had you know with this career go away thing of you can open no you can’t you can go out no you can’t here’s a vaccine and not yet you know, so I think it’s just that unknown ness of all of this is really starting to affect everybody everybody.

00:02:59.760 –> 00:03:09.870
Jason Mefford: Well, I think it’s it’s it’s one of those so maybe we you know it’s it’s it’s gone on for so long right, most of the time when we experienced trauma.

00:03:10.740 –> 00:03:24.990
Jason Mefford: It is a singular event okay so so again, it will there’s a difference between big tea and little tea right so big T trauma would be things like you know physical assault rape.

00:03:25.950 –> 00:03:33.720
Jason Mefford: You know, you know some sort of violence, this is why a lot of times people in the military habit because again when they’re when you’re killing people.

00:03:34.140 –> 00:03:44.790
Jason Mefford: or seeing dead people, that is a big T trauma kind of thing right and and luckily, most of us don’t experience some of those big T traumas and there’s.

00:03:45.330 –> 00:03:56.610
Jason Mefford: You know, some specific things we’ve talked about some of the different techniques on here before about ways to try to get past some of those things, but we all experience little tea kind of things right, where.

00:03:57.660 –> 00:04:03.060
Jason Mefford: Maybe somebody is mean to us, they say something hurt our feelings they’re emotionally abusive to us.

00:04:03.840 –> 00:04:13.350
Jason Mefford: You know at certain points in time and so again, you know tho those things become kind of these situations that we live through, but then it’s done right.

00:04:14.040 –> 00:04:29.190
Jason Mefford: But this has continued to be something that we continue to see and live with over and over and over again right and it reminds me, you know back September 11 I mean we’re talking 2020 years ago now.

00:04:29.760 –> 00:04:41.130
Jason Mefford: There was a lot of this similar kind of thing that happened and people were were really shocked at first why, but here was the reason right is.

00:04:41.550 –> 00:04:53.880
Jason Mefford: The buildings, yes airplanes flew into the buildings, the buildings crashed down 3000 4000 people lost their life, it was a horrible incident, but it happened one time.

00:04:54.570 –> 00:05:06.330
Jason Mefford: The problem was social media news everything else, especially young children were seeing these things hundreds if not thousands of time.

00:05:06.570 –> 00:05:06.810
Kathy Gruver: yeah.

00:05:06.870 –> 00:05:21.720
Jason Mefford: And every time they saw it there, their brain felt like it was happening again, so this wasn’t an isolated event to them, this was something that was going on and on and on and on and that’s what we’re living through now.

00:05:21.750 –> 00:05:29.970
Jason Mefford: it’s gone on and on and on and on, like you said you know Okay, you can open nope now you can’t you know it’s like we keep going back and forth.

00:05:30.630 –> 00:05:35.340
Jason Mefford: And people are finally getting to the breaking point so that’s why we wanted to talk about this today.

00:05:36.360 –> 00:05:40.950
Jason Mefford: You know, some things that you can do some some ways to kind of help start working.

00:05:42.000 –> 00:05:46.710
Jason Mefford: Through this because, again it’s it’s starting to affect people in a serious way.

00:05:47.010 –> 00:05:59.880
Kathy Gruver: yeah I agree and and i’m so glad you brought up social media and the whole 911 thing because I remember on the fifth year anniversary of 911 I woke up that day I wasn’t really I mean you can’t now not think of that number, you know 911 that’s that’s.

00:06:01.110 –> 00:06:09.810
Kathy Gruver: POPs into your head, but I turned on the TV to look for something, and they were replaying the day’s events in order, as if it was actually happening again.

00:06:10.380 –> 00:06:18.090
Kathy Gruver: And I would like is the most horrible thing ever like Why would you replay this all these people that witnesses that last people that were affected by this.

00:06:18.390 –> 00:06:22.200
Kathy Gruver: You don’t want to turn on the TV and relive it moment by moment again.

00:06:22.740 –> 00:06:26.640
Kathy Gruver: And my husband at the time, said, well, I think they’re just trying to honor what happened and I said.

00:06:26.970 –> 00:06:34.560
Kathy Gruver: You don’t wake up every Tuesday the third of May and go i’m going to think about my rape today, I mean like you wouldn’t do that that’s not healthy.

00:06:34.860 –> 00:06:41.010
Kathy Gruver: You know, so I remember just seeing that replaying over and over and over again so it’s like I mean I hope you’re not doing that that’s a horrible.

00:06:41.790 –> 00:06:49.050
Kathy Gruver: But with the social media here was the problem with coven we are so divided about it, I have clients that still don’t believe it’s a big deal.

00:06:49.590 –> 00:07:01.110
Kathy Gruver: They still don’t understand why they have to wear a mask they still don’t know that’s just the flow I think we’ve proven it’s not now if you believe that that’s I get it, I don’t get it actually i’m not even gonna say that.

00:07:02.850 –> 00:07:10.980
Kathy Gruver: But like know where you’re getting your info from you know the now we’ve got the vaccines that are ready and there’s still a huge segment of the population that doesn’t want to get it.

00:07:11.550 –> 00:07:15.390
Kathy Gruver: Not because they don’t want to get it, but because they’re being influenced by.

00:07:15.750 –> 00:07:27.450
Kathy Gruver: Information that’s possibly untrue, so I think this is where social media is playing into this and the politics of this it’s divided us even in our opportunity to keel so turn off social media.

00:07:28.200 –> 00:07:37.200
Kathy Gruver: can be like for anything I think that could be the first step we take with us as turn off social media stop reading this inflammatory from both sides inflammatory rhetoric.

00:07:37.500 –> 00:07:43.710
Kathy Gruver: That is scaring you that is scaring people turn off the news turn off the social media.

00:07:44.040 –> 00:07:54.540
Kathy Gruver: And just do your own research, think about what you truly want think about what makes sense to you, without that outside influence and just be true to yourself that’s, the first thing i’d recommend for this.

00:07:55.470 –> 00:08:01.920
Jason Mefford: yeah, which is a good point because again like we said, you know, most of the time when you experience trauma it’s a once and done kind of thing.

00:08:02.430 –> 00:08:22.350
Jason Mefford: The reason it, it becomes an issue is because you’re usually reliving that thing in your mind right and so again like you said you know you wouldn’t wake up on on march 11 if that was a day that you got raped and and every day you wouldn’t consciously want to go through that again.

00:08:22.860 –> 00:08:34.080
Jason Mefford: But the reason why those big teeth, things are such big trauma things are such an issue is because people do relive them over and over and over again in their mind.

00:08:34.590 –> 00:08:41.730
Jason Mefford: right because of what had gone on and it’s the fact that you’re reliving that over and over and over again.

00:08:42.060 –> 00:08:53.640
Jason Mefford: That ends up reinforcing it in your life so again yeah an easy way with this is look just turn off the TV quit watching the news quit looking at social media for these kind of things.

00:08:54.000 –> 00:09:11.010
Jason Mefford: And just you know realize that hey in my little bubble right here, things are good right and don’t don’t continue to try to relive any of these things that you don’t have to because the more you relive it, the harder it’s going to be to take it away yeah.

00:09:11.580 –> 00:09:19.860
Kathy Gruver: And I found something interesting about this whole experience you know 2020 for a lot of people was incredibly difficult jobs were lost people got sick.

00:09:20.280 –> 00:09:32.280
Kathy Gruver: People got died people died and I talked to so many who said I gotta be honest 2020 was actually really good for me and you could see they’re almost hesitant to say that 2020 for me was.

00:09:33.120 –> 00:09:46.050
Kathy Gruver: a really good year financially, it was shipped but from a relationship standpoint from a work life balance standpoint from a I got to sit in that stillness and actually decide what I truly wanted to do with my life 2020 was an incredible opportunity for me.

00:09:46.980 –> 00:09:52.170
Kathy Gruver: i’m allowed to say that, without it minimizing the suffering of the other people, and I think we have to.

00:09:52.560 –> 00:09:56.880
Kathy Gruver: We really just have to own that truth ourselves if you got positive things out of that.

00:09:57.300 –> 00:10:08.460
Kathy Gruver: focus on those positive things shift that perspective and see what did I learn from grow from what can I take from 2020 that was not all horrible.

00:10:09.060 –> 00:10:13.470
Kathy Gruver: Sometimes it’s hard you know if your perception, was it was all horrible but.

00:10:13.860 –> 00:10:27.360
Kathy Gruver: To the extent that you can focus on those positive things see what good came out of that year because i’ve talked to so many people who got incredible things out of 2020 so shift your perspective and try to try to focus on the good stuff.

00:10:27.870 –> 00:10:40.260
Jason Mefford: yeah well that’s probably the second The second thing to write is you know, change your interpretation about it because, again it’s it’s I had a great 2020 it was a good year for me all around.

00:10:41.340 –> 00:10:50.190
Jason Mefford: You know, yes, am I getting a little tired and a little stir crazy and I want to go back to Disneyland and I want to go travel again, yes, I do right.

00:10:50.640 –> 00:11:01.050
Jason Mefford: And there’s some days when I can feel that heaviness of it too right, but again, another way you know, to try to get past, this is change your interpretations.

00:11:01.470 –> 00:11:09.870
Jason Mefford: Change the story that you are telling yourself about what you’re going through we’ve talked about we’ve talked about stories a lot.

00:11:10.290 –> 00:11:20.940
Jason Mefford: In previous episodes right So if you don’t like the story then change the story, because neither one of the interpretations is completely accurate anyway.

00:11:21.420 –> 00:11:32.190
Jason Mefford: right here, and so choose one that gives you that makes you feel better that that ends up helping you get closer to where you want to go.

00:11:32.670 –> 00:11:39.060
Jason Mefford: Instead of you know, further away, and so again like you said i’ve heard a lot of people say the same thing right like hey.

00:11:39.840 –> 00:11:50.430
Jason Mefford: Having the kids at home, it sucked at first, but it was actually really kind of good because it helps me to focus more on what’s really most important.

00:11:50.940 –> 00:12:04.050
Jason Mefford: focus on my relationships with other people, I mean have you know, a couple guys that I was friends with in high school we reconnected this last year and we’ve done some zoom calls and other stuff right.

00:12:05.250 –> 00:12:08.130
Jason Mefford: It was the fact of being locked down.

00:12:08.430 –> 00:12:12.660
Jason Mefford: The goddess to rekindle that relationship from over 30 years ago.

00:12:13.080 –> 00:12:13.800
Kathy Gruver: that’s right.

00:12:13.860 –> 00:12:23.220
Jason Mefford: So so look at and try to find the positives and focus more on those things, instead of the negatives would be another thing you can do.

00:12:23.670 –> 00:12:29.730
Kathy Gruver: yeah absolutely and to that exact point stay present you know I remember coming home from my office.

00:12:30.630 –> 00:12:35.310
Kathy Gruver: which was pointless and I couldn’t work, you know, I was doing a lot more massage than and I was pretty I was shut down.

00:12:35.670 –> 00:12:48.690
Kathy Gruver: And I walked in the door, and I had just found out my bad my bad I just had an emergency room visit, because my back had blown out and I ended up at emergency MRI and all these procedures and delilah I got a $6,000 emergency room bill.

00:12:49.170 –> 00:13:00.480
Kathy Gruver: The same day I realized that my taxes got completely screwed up because the divorce didn’t go through and time to do separately, so I was stuck paying back all the obamacare so so I basically had a $14,000 tax bill.

00:13:00.900 –> 00:13:12.750
Kathy Gruver: And a $6,000 emergency room bill and zero income, and I remember coming home, and I was sobbing I was, I was a hysterical mess sobbing and my boyfriend’s arms going.

00:13:13.170 –> 00:13:25.020
Kathy Gruver: Everything i’ve worked for is going to lose everything I mean it was just that was just this reactive completely overblown mess of a situation and I was acting purely from emotion.

00:13:25.890 –> 00:13:36.180
Kathy Gruver: emotion is there to help us into action feelings are not facts I did not lose everything I am not in the debtors prison somewhere, I did not go bankrupt.

00:13:36.540 –> 00:13:43.980
Kathy Gruver: I negotiated the the emergency room build down to hardly anything because I said i’m on unemployment, right now, they went, oh no problem, and they eliminated.

00:13:44.910 –> 00:13:48.810
Kathy Gruver: The taxes we worked out so that I owed six i’m not 14 you know it’s like.

00:13:49.410 –> 00:14:02.670
Kathy Gruver: Once you have that emotion honor that emotion and then get out of the emotion, you know you don’t sit there with your hand on the stove going wow that’s telling me that hurts oh that’s starting to smell funny I can’t feel my fingers you don’t.

00:14:04.410 –> 00:14:06.030
Jason Mefford: i’m smelling burning flesh.

00:14:07.440 –> 00:14:07.740
Kathy Gruver: smells.

00:14:07.860 –> 00:14:17.730
Kathy Gruver: Well that’s me Oh, I might want to think about someday moving get off the stove you know I honored that emotion, I express that emotion and then I went all right Fuck this, what can I do.

00:14:18.000 –> 00:14:25.200
Kathy Gruver: To actually solve this problem, and I think so often we get trapped in that emotion, we stay stuck in that place, which is what ptsd is.

00:14:25.680 –> 00:14:33.810
Kathy Gruver: And we don’t have the tools, the skills, the support the people around us to help us step to help us get our hand off the stove so find that.

00:14:34.230 –> 00:14:41.640
Kathy Gruver: place where you can have that support acknowledge that emotion that get out of it, it told you what it needs to tell you don’t need to hang on to it anymore.

00:14:42.360 –> 00:14:48.810
Jason Mefford: Well, and we’ve talked about some of these different techniques right so again, if you feel like if you’re stuck in your head.

00:14:49.110 –> 00:14:59.430
Jason Mefford: If you feel like your brain is going crazy, well, it probably is because it’s up in high beta wave frequency, you need to slow your brainwaves down we’ve talked about some of that stuff before.

00:14:59.910 –> 00:15:11.400
Jason Mefford: about how breathing exercises some things like meditation other things, to get you to just kind of calm down get more into the present moment.

00:15:11.760 –> 00:15:27.660
Jason Mefford: And when you do that again right feelings are not are not necessarily true their fear is not real it’s it’s getting back into that present moment, and those are some techniques that you can use to do that right.

00:15:28.170 –> 00:15:39.960
Jason Mefford: Even listening to music listening to calming music there’s a thing called by neural beats and there’s also Schumann resonance audios that you can listen to as well.

00:15:40.500 –> 00:15:52.890
Jason Mefford: That are at a certain frequency that as we listen to them, especially through headphones it actually slows down our brainwave activity gets us calm.

00:15:53.190 –> 00:16:04.200
Jason Mefford: You know we’re not freaking out anymore so there’s a lot of different things that you can use right if you’re freaking out to kind of get yourself back centered as well right.

00:16:04.710 –> 00:16:08.640
Kathy Gruver: yeah that’s so great and one of one of my favorite tools is cognitive restructuring.

00:16:09.000 –> 00:16:20.250
Kathy Gruver: Because it’s so often as those distorted thoughts that lead us to that emotion, which leads us to like either crazy making or action that isn’t helpful, so I come home and i’m freaking out i’m going to lose everything.

00:16:20.550 –> 00:16:30.660
Kathy Gruver: which caused fear and panic depression, all the stuff i’m going to lose everything really, really they’re going to come take everything that I own.

00:16:31.500 –> 00:16:32.700
Kathy Gruver: Is that a true statement.

00:16:32.970 –> 00:16:39.360
Kathy Gruver: That is not a true statement did I have to drain part of my savings account yeah that is not me losing everything.

00:16:39.630 –> 00:16:46.440
Kathy Gruver: But when we get into those stressed places that thought leads us to that emotion it’s all or nothing thinking it’s black and white it’s you know.

00:16:46.740 –> 00:16:55.200
Kathy Gruver: These complete exaggerations, these are cognitive distortions and when we can identify those and retrain our thinking, which is what the cognitive restructuring is.

00:16:55.500 –> 00:17:07.860
Kathy Gruver: Then we have a tendency to respond in a different way in the future, so you know if that situation comes up again, you can go Oh, I know what this feels like this feels like that day that Baba Baba Baba Baba you know.

00:17:08.340 –> 00:17:16.350
Kathy Gruver: And you can actually start to shift your thinking and your cognition on that and not be trapped in these emotional states that are coming from a place that isn’t true.

00:17:17.370 –> 00:17:20.070
Jason Mefford: Well, and that’s why you know you can do some of this stuff yourself.

00:17:20.550 –> 00:17:23.520
Jason Mefford: You can ask yourself those questions right.

00:17:23.850 –> 00:17:31.230
Jason Mefford: So again, the quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions that you ask, we can ask those to ourselves sounds like that’s what you kind of do right.

00:17:31.530 –> 00:17:39.360
Jason Mefford: Well, am I really going to lose everything no Are they really going to send me to jail, no, you know we don’t live in Victorian England.

00:17:41.340 –> 00:17:43.410
Jason Mefford: they’re not going to send you to jail, because.

00:17:43.740 –> 00:17:44.850
Kathy Gruver: debtors prison.

00:17:44.910 –> 00:17:51.750
Jason Mefford: Right now, you know you get annoyed by the people calling you for debt collection but they’re not going to send you to debtors prison like they used to do.

00:17:51.870 –> 00:17:54.990
Kathy Gruver: Right I wasn’t even to a point where that was gonna happen.

00:17:55.290 –> 00:17:55.560
Jason Mefford: yeah.

00:17:55.620 –> 00:18:01.740
Kathy Gruver: You know I mean it was just it was such an exaggerated thought and it’s so interesting I was audited by the irs back in 2001.

00:18:02.700 –> 00:18:09.930
Kathy Gruver: nightmare don’t I don’t recommend it but, from that point on, of course, every time something came in the mail from the irs or if I get something from the irs I was like.

00:18:11.370 –> 00:18:17.730
Kathy Gruver: A total audit ptsd because it was the worst six months of my life, and I remember the year after the audit.

00:18:19.980 –> 00:18:27.360
Kathy Gruver: My tax return hadn’t been processed like nothing was happening and I checked online and it said delayed and my first thought was.

00:18:28.050 –> 00:18:38.490
Kathy Gruver: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I thought, maybe they were looking at the whole thing again I was completely freaking out, I called my accountant i’m like dude it says delayed, and he goes oh.

00:18:40.230 –> 00:18:41.400
Kathy Gruver: And I hear that Tony.

00:18:41.700 –> 00:18:44.760
Kathy Gruver: And I start to panic like oh my God they’re going to audit me again.

00:18:44.910 –> 00:18:47.820
Kathy Gruver: And then I went wait a minute what’s you know.

00:18:48.990 –> 00:18:53.910
Kathy Gruver: And I literally wrote this out on the forum for cognitive distortions, I said I know I did a perfect tax return.

00:18:54.780 –> 00:19:04.170
Kathy Gruver: I know I actually under claimed some deductions, so that if I was audited, it would go in my favor I know that I did nothing wrong.

00:19:04.920 –> 00:19:12.300
Kathy Gruver: I know that I have an enrolled agent and a CPA on my team that if something would happen, I have everything ready to handle them here’s what I know.

00:19:12.930 –> 00:19:23.100
Kathy Gruver: It says delayed millions of Americans are turning and their tax returns it’s just delayed, and until I get the letter that says something is wrong.

00:19:23.730 –> 00:19:33.240
Kathy Gruver: I don’t know that anything’s wrong, so I just went with delayed and about five days later, I got noticed that they received my tax return I got my refund blah blah blah blah everything was fine it was simply delayed.

00:19:33.630 –> 00:19:39.840
Kathy Gruver: And because of my past experience, I read all of this stuff into it, it was just delayed yeah.

00:19:40.860 –> 00:19:47.700
Jason Mefford: Well that’s a great example you know again kind of breaking apart there’s a real life example from kathy’s live.

00:19:48.300 –> 00:20:01.200
Jason Mefford: On exactly what we’re talking about right now it’s not covert, but it was audit ptsd right and and yeah I mean every time you know, every time you see police lights behind you right you get a little nervous.

00:20:01.260 –> 00:20:02.100
Jason Mefford: Every time you do.

00:20:02.160 –> 00:20:02.940
Kathy Gruver: nothing wrong.

00:20:03.990 –> 00:20:07.770
Jason Mefford: Every time you get a letter from the irs right it’s the same thing right and.

00:20:07.800 –> 00:20:13.260
Jason Mefford: You know I get I get them all the time for different businesses and family things that I deal with.

00:20:13.860 –> 00:20:24.420
Jason Mefford: And, but it, but again it’s like there’s no reason to automatically jump into that or if you start catching yourself doing that stop yourself, you know breathe.

00:20:24.840 –> 00:20:30.930
Jason Mefford: try to get present go through some of these cognitive question asking like you know Kathy just dead.

00:20:31.560 –> 00:20:38.340
Jason Mefford: and realize that you know what we don’t know what the future is going to be so create the story.

00:20:39.180 –> 00:20:45.090
Jason Mefford: That is the one that best serves you oh it’s delayed delayed doesn’t mean anything.

00:20:45.480 –> 00:20:55.530
Jason Mefford: Right so because of that i’m not going to let it mean anything and i’m just going to go about my business and Sure enough, there was no problem right.

00:20:55.920 –> 00:21:07.050
Jason Mefford: anxiety is in anxiety and fear right is worrying about something that may never happen yeah back, most of the time they never do so, we waste a bunch of energy, when we don’t need to.

00:21:07.350 –> 00:21:11.190
Kathy Gruver: yeah and we miss out on this present moment and then this present moment everything’s okay.

00:21:11.550 –> 00:21:12.690
Kathy Gruver: Stresses someplace else.

00:21:13.920 –> 00:21:18.630
Jason Mefford: yeah so I mean, these are these are kind of some simple things you know for for trauma in general.

00:21:19.110 –> 00:21:27.300
Jason Mefford: You know, but but let’s get into maybe a little bit more there’s you know if if you’re doing those things where you try those and they still don’t work for you.

00:21:27.900 –> 00:21:41.910
Jason Mefford: there’s other options as well right, and so you know let’s let’s maybe jump in and talk about some of the different options that people have we know hypnosis is one we talked a lot about that you’re a hypnosis.

00:21:43.350 –> 00:21:57.720
Jason Mefford: You know, and maybe just kind of explain to people briefly again hopefully if they’ve been listening to us forever they already know about it, but how does, how does something like hypnosis actually help people deal with things like ptsd.

00:21:58.200 –> 00:22:00.840
Kathy Gruver: yeah absolutely I actually did a whole course on ptsd.

00:22:01.350 –> 00:22:06.390
Kathy Gruver: Because I was working to do the training with the military, I just wanted to know how hypnosis would help with that.

00:22:06.630 –> 00:22:10.590
Kathy Gruver: hypnosis in general, it just goes into the subconscious and helps us make changes there.

00:22:10.800 –> 00:22:22.380
Kathy Gruver: So sitting in our subconscious there are knowns and there are unknown unknowns are very scary knowns can be negative, so if you know that every time you hear a car backfire it’s a gunshot you dive to the ground.

00:22:22.740 –> 00:22:27.900
Kathy Gruver: that’s that’s an exaggerated response to something that does not warrant it just like when I saw the word.

00:22:28.440 –> 00:22:34.860
Kathy Gruver: delay did I had this gigantic response thinking that reaction, frankly, thinking that something bad was happening so hypnosis.

00:22:35.160 –> 00:22:37.680
Kathy Gruver: you’re not asleep that we might use the word sleep.

00:22:37.950 –> 00:22:51.120
Kathy Gruver: you hear everything that is said to you you’ll remember everything that said, do and it’s just a matter of going into the subconscious and helping to make changes they’re helping to make those things less scary helping to magnify the positive helping you shift mindset.

00:22:51.810 –> 00:22:59.100
Kathy Gruver: giving you tools like anchoring in we talked about anchoring all the time, maybe it’s you rub fingers together or maybe you know, every time you pick up your ice T.

00:23:01.920 –> 00:23:15.120
Kathy Gruver: anchor in that relaxation, maybe it’s a trigger on your desk of every time I look at that picture reminds me to relax that sort of thing so there’s so many ways we can make changes in our subconscious and what’s so great about, that is, with the critical faculty.

00:23:16.140 –> 00:23:19.530
Kathy Gruver: Not as a critical factor Oh, I always get it wrong Mike Mandel is going to be so mad.

00:23:20.040 –> 00:23:21.060
Kathy Gruver: Your critical thinking.

00:23:21.720 –> 00:23:29.340
Kathy Gruver: The only way to get through that is dream symbols hypnosis so it’s so much quicker to do something under hypnosis is I love therapy.

00:23:30.360 –> 00:23:34.500
Kathy Gruver: And you know you could do six months of therapy and still not understand why you hate your mother.

00:23:34.920 –> 00:23:45.900
Kathy Gruver: And you can do things into sections of hypnosis so you know it’s such a great tool it’s safe they’re not going to make you cluck like a chicken you’re not going to lose yourself in the state of hypnosis you know media has really.

00:23:46.260 –> 00:23:59.130
Kathy Gruver: Just sort of destroyed our concept of what clinical hypnosis can be it’s safe it’s effective it’s such a great technique, it can be done over zoom it can you know so it’s I love it it’s one of my favorite things to do.

00:23:59.730 –> 00:24:06.360
Jason Mefford: It because it is it’s a much quicker way of getting there right because, again, you can go to talk therapy talk therapy is fun.

00:24:06.720 –> 00:24:11.130
Jason Mefford: Right, but just realize it’s probably going to take you a little longer right, just like you can.

00:24:11.610 –> 00:24:17.700
Jason Mefford: You can talk, you can have a bitch and moan session with your friends or you can talk to somebody who’s a coach.

00:24:18.120 –> 00:24:32.700
Jason Mefford: right that actually is asking different questions trying to get you to move you see there’s a difference right, and so you know, again, you can choose whichever one works for you, you know choose bitch and moan session with your friends that’s better than nothing.

00:24:32.820 –> 00:24:33.510
Jason Mefford: yeah right.

00:24:35.280 –> 00:24:36.540
Kathy Gruver: You just need to bitch I mean.

00:24:37.050 –> 00:24:38.850
Kathy Gruver: Sometimes you just need to complain about some stuff.

00:24:39.090 –> 00:24:46.170
Jason Mefford: yeah you know or find a therapist or a coach that can actually help walk you through some of the stuff find a hypnotist.

00:24:46.530 –> 00:24:59.550
Jason Mefford: You know I remember, we talked about brain spotting before brain spot as another another example of of of a technique that’s being used to be able to help people get through things like ptsd.

00:25:00.120 –> 00:25:12.270
Jason Mefford: And, and the reason it’s just like hypnosis it gets back into the subconscious and helps us kind of reprogram what happened or look at it objectively.

00:25:12.870 –> 00:25:29.730
Jason Mefford: Instead of continuing to have all these stories around it right yeah and it’s it’s those stories around it it’s the emotions that we’re bringing into it and, again, usually trauma things have negative emotions, which means we get stuck in negative emotions right.

00:25:30.780 –> 00:25:37.260
Jason Mefford: You know another thing that I that I like to is there’s a i’ve seen different versions of it but it’s like an emotional scale.

00:25:37.470 –> 00:25:40.740
Jason Mefford: yeah right where you’ve got fear and depression.

00:25:41.820 –> 00:26:00.930
Jason Mefford: You kind of down at the bottom and you’ve got you know happiness, but really it’s well being and joy at the top and and you know if you have a tool like that you can look at it and say how am I feeling right now, while i’m feeling, you know depressed well, can I move up the chain.

00:26:01.320 –> 00:26:10.470
Jason Mefford: Right, and so this is what i’ll do sometimes with people is there, you know they’ll you just try to move them up and you don’t try to go from the bottom, to the top all at one time right.

00:26:11.160 –> 00:26:15.510
Jason Mefford: But somebody might say, you know i’m so depressed or i’m feeling, you know.

00:26:16.830 –> 00:26:22.200
Jason Mefford: ashamed of something right because shame depression or like.

00:26:22.290 –> 00:26:23.880
Kathy Gruver: All the way at the bottom very low.

00:26:24.030 –> 00:26:34.650
Jason Mefford: Very low right and so again as as their friend or something else you can say wow you know that must that must be pretty hard, I understand that you know you’re feeling ashamed about that.

00:26:35.070 –> 00:26:45.270
Jason Mefford: That must make you kind of angry doesn’t it now Why am I pulling that in because anger, while still a negative emotion is better than shame.

00:26:45.630 –> 00:27:02.610
Jason Mefford: yeah so all of a sudden, if the people are like yeah you know what i’m pretty mad at myself and I did I did that again right well now you’re moving them from shame to anger still a negative emotion, but a better negative emotion, because then they get angry about it.

00:27:03.210 –> 00:27:05.220
Jason Mefford: And they kind of spew for a little bit.

00:27:05.490 –> 00:27:14.970
Jason Mefford: Then you move them up to something like hopeful well you know if you did it this other way, do you think next time it might be a little better hey yeah I think that could be a little better next time right.

00:27:15.360 –> 00:27:18.270
Jason Mefford: So you’re slowly starting to move them up.

00:27:18.780 –> 00:27:21.720
Jason Mefford: into higher and higher levels of emotion.

00:27:22.140 –> 00:27:25.710
Jason Mefford: And we can do it to ourselves, we can try to help other people as well.

00:27:26.040 –> 00:27:30.150
Jason Mefford: Absolutely, but it’s that’s another kind of simple little thing right.

00:27:30.480 –> 00:27:32.400
Jason Mefford: yeah and there’s all kinds of other stuff.

00:27:34.020 –> 00:27:41.400
Kathy Gruver: there’s eft I mean there’s so many different things we could spend all day talking about that looks for some of our past episodes we actually talked about London different things.

00:27:41.610 –> 00:27:45.780
Kathy Gruver: But you know there’s there’s tapping which we’ve not actually had an eft practitioner on the show.

00:27:47.640 –> 00:27:48.900
Jason Mefford: yeah we’ve talked about it because.

00:27:49.080 –> 00:27:50.310
Kathy Gruver: we’ve talked about it with.

00:27:50.370 –> 00:27:51.780
Jason Mefford: With Mike Mandel before I think.

00:27:51.780 –> 00:27:53.970
Kathy Gruver: yeah and the you know the tapping this point and.

00:27:54.060 –> 00:27:55.530
Kathy Gruver: You know, doing that kind of stuff and getting a.

00:27:55.530 –> 00:27:57.480
Jason Mefford: Big i’m a big swinging Dick.

00:27:58.800 –> 00:28:00.210
Jason Mefford: A great story go back and find.

00:28:00.270 –> 00:28:07.650
Kathy Gruver: Such a great story everything mcminnville says is great, and you know the technique that Donna was talking about, I already had a session with her, I know you’re about to have one.

00:28:08.130 –> 00:28:17.550
Kathy Gruver: her son was amazing I could feel the shift in my subconscious so anyway, we gave you a lot to do you’re stopping social media shifting your perspective, looking at some cognitive restructuring.

00:28:18.150 –> 00:28:29.430
Kathy Gruver: Even meditation and mindfulness you know it trains us to be less reactive to things around us, so you know, asking yourself what do I know to be true, focusing on the positive did I miss anything.

00:28:31.980 –> 00:28:34.020
Jason Mefford: I don’t know if we did go back go back and.

00:28:34.020 –> 00:28:35.880
Kathy Gruver: Listen to the episode so.

00:28:36.000 –> 00:28:44.130
Jason Mefford: back to the episode again right there’s a lot of good stuff in there, but yeah because there are like I said there’s some little things that we just gave you tips on.

00:28:44.520 –> 00:28:45.090
Kathy Gruver: hypnosis.

00:28:45.270 –> 00:28:58.590
Jason Mefford: That you can do yourself right, and you can you can do other things you know there’s self hypnosis audios if you want to try that first fine usually the bigger the trauma, it is, the more you actually need the personalized help so.

00:28:58.590 –> 00:29:00.990
Jason Mefford: Find find a test.

00:29:01.080 –> 00:29:07.170
Kathy Gruver: I actually wouldn’t try to do hypnosis if you’re truly experiencing ptsd I wouldn’t try to do it yourself.

00:29:07.500 –> 00:29:09.870
Jason Mefford: No it’s that’s something that you need help with.

00:29:10.230 –> 00:29:21.030
Jason Mefford: yeah on that so but anyway, you know, again we feel you we know we’re feeling some of the same stuff too, so we thought we do this episode to just kind of.

00:29:21.510 –> 00:29:27.360
Jason Mefford: remind you again a little bit about some of the stuff we’ve already been talking about and how you can start using it now.

00:29:27.750 –> 00:29:38.190
Jason Mefford: And when you do you’re going to start feeling better right, because I know when I start getting a little Funk and I start doing some of these things that we’ve just been talking about I feel better yeah.

00:29:38.340 –> 00:29:39.420
Jason Mefford: i’m sure you will too.

00:29:39.630 –> 00:29:43.110
Kathy Gruver: Right yeah absolutely and let us know how you’re doing.

00:29:43.530 –> 00:29:53.550
Kathy Gruver: Let us know if you use some of our techniques or not our techniques, but if the some of the techniques, we recommend we’d love to hear from you and know how they worked for you, and if you have any that you suggest that we could maybe do a show on, let us know that too.

00:29:54.000 –> 00:29:57.030
Jason Mefford: yeah yeah perfect placement.

00:29:58.080 –> 00:30:01.680
Kathy Gruver: cool okay i’m Kathy gruver I can be reached at Kathy gruber.com.

00:30:02.130 –> 00:30:11.610
Jason Mefford: And i’m Jason effort, I can be reached at Jason method calm so go back, listen to the episode again and just pick something just do something a little bit different this week.

00:30:12.180 –> 00:30:23.490
Jason Mefford: To help you feel a little bit better and get through all of this coven ptsd or whatever you want to call it, and we’ll catch you on the next episode of the fire and earth podcast so yeah.

00:30:23.850 –> 00:30:24.180
See ya.

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