One thing that most of us never get enough of is… SLEEP!

Sleep is very important to our health and wellbeing, but why are we not getting enough of it?

In today’s episode we discuss the importance of sleep and how we can sleep better and longer.

So grab your pillow and blanket and listen in at:


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Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast i’m your co host Jason medford.

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Kathy Gruver: And I am Kathy grew her, and we are so excited to be here today, it is morning when we’re recording this and we were talking before we got on the air about sleep and good sleep and sleepiness and how some days you just wake up in here.

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Kathy Gruver: And you wish, you could go back to bed sometimes you can sometimes you can’t so we thought we’d talk about good sleep today and how that affects you and how you can improve your sleep hygiene, to get through the night easier.

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Jason Mefford: Well, this is, this is one of those important things right there’s there’s some simple things for health, that if people do like you know drink more water.

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Jason Mefford: that’s a pretty simple thing, but, most people don’t drink enough water right and sleep is one of those things too, I mean.

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Jason Mefford: Most of us don’t get enough or good enough sleep when we’re when we’re there right because a lot of times there’s.

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Jason Mefford: there’s the tossing and turning and the everything else are getting up and going back and and it ends up really kind of messing with your sleep cycle.

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Jason Mefford: And because of that, you know we wake up and we’re exhausted right, and so you start the day tired.

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Jason Mefford: And it’s hard and and the other thing too, you know there’s there’s a lot of research that has been done to that a lot of our a lot of our physical ailments actually is a result of not sleeping well, so we want to have a good night’s rest So how do we do that Cathy.

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Kathy Gruver: Oh, I thought you know.

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Jason Mefford: Cheese this is gonna be this is gonna be a log or a short episode now right I.

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Kathy Gruver: actually have a chapter in.

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Kathy Gruver: My book, so I do know.

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Jason Mefford: I knew, you did I knew yes.

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Kathy Gruver: So the first thing is everybody always asked me what kind of budget I get what could appeal, would you recommend I don’t know, nobody can tell you that.

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Jason Mefford: Oh interesting that’s, the first question, people are usually asking you.

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Kathy Gruver: That is the first we’re talking about sleep that’s, the first thing they say I don’t like my pillow I can’t help you.

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Kathy Gruver: You have to find what works for you go to the store lay on the beds if they have like a three month trial, and you can send it back do that.

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Kathy Gruver: There is no one solution for everybody and I don’t know anybody that’s like 100% happy with the first bed they plop down on you know whether it’s the pillow top or the thing that molds to your body or it moves up and down in the middle of the night I don’t It really is such a customer.

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Jason Mefford: That could be a problem with your sleep right if you’re moving a.

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Jason Mefford: Little the night.

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Kathy Gruver: Some that detect your snoring and then adjust the position like oh yeah no that would not work for me.

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Kathy Gruver: But for somebody else it might it’s asleep number I don’t know what it is, so you have to find what works for you, and this is with so much of like complementary alternative medicine and natural health.

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Kathy Gruver: It does sort of become an experiment, you have to be your best health detective and figure out what works best for you so before all of you, email and go this was great what bed, should I get we can’t tell you so let’s just get that off the table right now.

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Jason Mefford: it’s different for each person right.

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Jason Mefford: Some some people like a firmer pillow than others right.

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Jason Mefford: Like like a contour because I like to sleep on my side, so I have kind of a contoured pillow it works for me you got to find out what works for you and a lot of times that is trial and error right yeah.

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Jason Mefford: Absolutely, but, but I think you know to on the on the bed, you know one thing that i’ve always been taught.

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Jason Mefford: That I that I live is don’t skimp on whatever comes between you and the ground so i’ve spent a lot of money on my couch right because that’s a place where you end up spending time so I don’t have a cheap couch that hurts my back I wear good shoes.

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Jason Mefford: Right I invest in shoes that fit me that that that work for me and I don’t mind spending a lot of money on shoes that are actually from a comfort perspective, you know from a fashion perspective i’m not going to spend 1000 bucks on a pair of shoes that hurt my feet and hurt my back.

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Jason Mefford: At but but I don’t mind spending on something that works for me and your bed is the same thing right so again, I mean i’ve spent a lot of money on beds.

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Jason Mefford: Over the years, because, again, if you if you figure you’re spending at least six to eight hours a day on that bad you want to make sure that you’ve got a good quality bed, one that works for you, you know there’s so there’s so many people that i’ve that i’ve seen in fact.

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Jason Mefford: A family member, you know you go over to family remembering to stay in their guest bedroom.

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Jason Mefford: And sometimes those are like the worst mattresses right it’s like a 30 year old mattress for this huge hole in the middle of it, you know so.

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Jason Mefford: Bad bad so you’re like.

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Jason Mefford: You know you’re you’re down in the.

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Jason Mefford: middle well you you can’t help a role to the middle because it rolls up to the middle where the big hole is right.

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Jason Mefford: And so it’s not a surprise when you wake up in the morning and your back is hurting because the bed hasn’t been supporting you so yeah if your beds 30 years old, you probably want to get a new bed.

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Jason Mefford: yeah okay.

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Kathy Gruver: Please, please get a new bed, and you know what i’m still doing massage and people talk to me about sleep and sleep positions and they wake up feeling sore they wake up with aches and pains.

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Kathy Gruver: it’s probably the mattress so adjust what works for you and here’s one of the hardest things though you meet a new person you fall in love you move in together Oh, the bed.

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Kathy Gruver: um because, like you said so many people have different ideas of what feels good to them, so the bed compatibility thing I swear to God that’s what match COM should do if they should look at.

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Kathy Gruver: They shouldn’t get your sleep number one.

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Kathy Gruver: Look at astrology and how you like your bed that those are the two things that report No Okay, so we got the bed covered so let’s just, and this is so.

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Kathy Gruver: This is so common stuff but let’s go over to get is actually sleep hygiene in the bedroom make sure it’s dark.

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Kathy Gruver: Make sure it’s quiet, make sure you don’t have pets jumping all over you and that’s one of the problems that I face now is because I we sleep in a loft.

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Kathy Gruver: The cat has full access to the House full access to the bed there’s no way to keep them out so in the middle of the night he’s jumping on us and each crunch and his food he’s playing with my face and he’s you know.

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Kathy Gruver: it’s it’s disturbing So if you can, and I know you love we love our pets.

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Kathy Gruver: try not to have them climbing all over you, you know i’ve had clients, where the dog takes up most of the bed and they’re shoved in a corner, because they don’t want to move the dog.

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Kathy Gruver: The dog doesn’t have to go to work tomorrow, I know you love your pet get the dog out of the bed.

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Kathy Gruver: or they’re severely allergic and they’re sleeping with a cat on their face it’s like come on like let’s let’s use your head on this so.

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Kathy Gruver: dark quiet get the pets out get the kids out if you can, if you need a white noise machine to cancel out the trash truck or the kids down the street do that.

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Kathy Gruver: don’t do anything crazy exciting upsetting that last half hour before you go to sleep that last half hour is when we should be winding down that’s when our brain starts to process, what are we going to throw away, what are we going to prune into memories.

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Kathy Gruver: You know don’t read your computer or your tablet in bed that’s really that blue light is really bad for you, you know there’s just some sort of logical stuff to help us make sure we’re getting sleep so that we’re more productive, the next day.

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Jason Mefford: Well, in on a couple of those you know again simple things right, I mean as humans usually, when the sun goes down for us biologically it means it’s time to sleep so.

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Jason Mefford: You know I know there’s people with crazy work schedule, some people work at night.

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Jason Mefford: So whatever you can do, though, to try to have your your your wherever you’re sleeping darker right is going to help you because your body.

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Jason Mefford: Again, whether it’s really light outside or not it’s going to see that it’s dark around you, which means you should be going to sleep The other thing too is you know kind of how to say this the right way, but it’s like make make where you sleep a little sanctuary.

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Jason Mefford: For ya so you know I have never been one to read in bed to watch TV in bed I don’t do that right so there’s no TV in my bedroom I don’t sleep I don’t read in bed if i’m if I can’t sleep i’m going to get up.

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Jason Mefford: and go read in the living room right and then come back to bed.

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Jason Mefford: But the reason for that there’s actually a little you know it’s a subconscious thing to write, is that we program ourselves, and so, if you’re if you’re used to getting in your bed and watching TV.

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Jason Mefford: Or you are working now all of a sudden your body’s like well, am I supposed to go to sleep or am I supposed to be working right and and we actually train ourselves that way too so.

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Jason Mefford: You know, the more you do other activities like that in your bed, the harder it’s going to be for you to sleep as well, so.

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Kathy Gruver: yeah absolutely that’s so true, and we do, we are programmed creatures programmable creatures, so no that’s a great point not you know, keeping bed for bed and fully around.

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Jason Mefford: well.

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Kathy Gruver: that’ll be a separate show.

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Kathy Gruver: Maybe not.

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Kathy Gruver: RON unscripted so you know, there we go so we’ve got the little he next to it, we can talk.

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Jason Mefford: You want to right.

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Kathy Gruver: Exactly so let’s talk Okay, so your heart your your sleep hygiene is great your bed is phenomenal you’re still having trouble.

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Kathy Gruver: there’s a couple supplements that can help valerian root is an herb it’s stinky and it tastes terrible but it’s really going to help you sleep.

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Kathy Gruver: Maybe cam a meal tea something to help you wind down and turn things off before you go to sleep.

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Kathy Gruver: If you need more than that there are amazing homeopathic that help with sleep there’s one called moon drops that I really, really like they look like teeny little communion wafers they’re so cute.

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Kathy Gruver: But they melt and literally they knock you out, I mean it was so good, and then there’s tryptophan and five http and melatonin, which is a natural hormone the body produces anyway.

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Kathy Gruver: Those are things that you can start to experiment with it do not take trip dependent tryptophan or five http if you’re on an ssri for depression.

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Kathy Gruver: That can cause some chemical problems in the brain you don’t want to do that, and those are sort of the last resort, and then the last last resort, is prescription.

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Kathy Gruver: stuff and you know if you’re getting on an overnight flight and you need to pop an ambien do that make sure you don’t sleep walk or you know run around the plane nude the middle of the night and not know it could be a thing.

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Jason Mefford: it’s a thing can be a thing I.

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Kathy Gruver: know it can be a thing, but it’s a thing.

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Kathy Gruver: it’s a thing.

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Kathy Gruver: But you know those things are really addictive if you’re relying on chemicals to sleep at.

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Kathy Gruver: Some point your body goes oh cool I don’t even have to do this anymore, and then it’s relying on those chemicals so just be careful, if you need to turn to that kind of medication, it can not be great for you.

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Jason Mefford: Well, and let’s that’s that’s similar to the bed that we just talked about to write some of these things work well for people i’ve tried to take melatonin before it doesn’t really do anything for me.

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Jason Mefford: yeah so you know i’ve i’ve experimented with it, it doesn’t work for me so do some Google searches, you know because, again, I mean we you know.

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Jason Mefford: Find out for yourself what you think and what you feel like is going to work for you try it out if it doesn’t work move on to something else right.

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Jason Mefford: Another thing to you know yeah there’s all the supplements moving up to pharmaceuticals, but you can also we talked about it being habit based right, so we can train ourselves, in fact.

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Jason Mefford: I have a little evening ritual when I get in my bed right, and so you can even do some things like that we’ll talk more about the 30 Minutes because I think we want to hit more on that too, because that really is an important.

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Jason Mefford: Important time but, for example, there you know when I get into bed.

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Jason Mefford: I say certain things to myself, I lay in a certain position and I have a routine in what I do right so it’s like I.

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Jason Mefford: I do a couple of different movements, I say some things to myself, in fact, the one of the things that I say to myself, as I turn over into this one position is I fall asleep quickly I fall asleep quickly.

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Jason Mefford: I fall asleep quickly right.

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Jason Mefford: And so I turn over I slow down my brain waves I start saying that to myself.

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Jason Mefford: that’s A little self hypnosis see.

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Jason Mefford: right in what we’re doing and so we’re starting to or i’m still i’m programming my brain and my body hey when I turn over into this position and I start saying I fall asleep quickly, I do in like a minute or two.

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Jason Mefford: I am gone.

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Jason Mefford: right because i’ve trained my my body to be able to do that and allow my brain to shut off so so again if it works for you try it out, you know it’s it’s one of those things to where it’s like with everything don’t do a one day and go chasing it still took me 25.

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Jason Mefford: minutes to sleep and so i’m never gonna do that again, you know it’s just like.

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Kathy Gruver: Well, you didn’t try it.

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Jason Mefford: and try it you got to train yourself.

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Jason Mefford: right to be able to do it, but that’s one thing that works.

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Jason Mefford: works well for me.

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Kathy Gruver: I love that and I love that you bring that up because when we talk about affirmations when I teach people affirmations if you want to make them, really, really potent.

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Kathy Gruver: Do it in that last half hour before you go to sleep that’s the time your brain is the most suggestible the most susceptible to things, this is why, having a fight with your spouse watching a disturbing film.

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Kathy Gruver: Reading the news all that stuff is really bad for you that last half an hour it’s the time to turn things down, not to turn things up, so my bedtime ritual is I climb the ladder tick tick tick tick.

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Kathy Gruver: Water I do my mental bank which involves affirmations close all that up go to sleep, sometimes I am a read in bed person I love reading in bed it’s harder now because that I need these and.

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Kathy Gruver: The lighting is shit.

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Kathy Gruver: i’m like you know, like I it’s so frustrating it’s like I want to be able to read and it’s harder.

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Kathy Gruver: So I might read I try not to do things on my phone i’m doing noon right now and there’s daily programs that you have to do so if I got to the end of the day and went oh crap I didn’t read that little paragraph I might.

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Kathy Gruver: But i’m not a big reader I can’t I don’t read books on the phone I don’t have an e reader that sort of thing a tablet I read a book you remember those hard.

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Jason Mefford: paper and.

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Jason Mefford: yeah.

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Kathy Gruver: yeah okay Michael you can hold them and feel them they’re great.

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Kathy Gruver: And then I same thing as you I get into there’s one fall asleep position and then i’m out, you know so so let’s talk about the the ego state aspect of this, though you wake up in the middle of night and your to do list makers going.

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Kathy Gruver: ooh tomorrow morning, you have this thing.

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Kathy Gruver: What if what if what if what if what if we just shut up and go to sleep.

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Jason Mefford: Well, and that’s and that’s where allowing comes into right, because if you wake up like that, because one of the other things I was going to say is.

00:14:48.870 –> 00:14:51.660
Jason Mefford: You know, in that 30 minute cooldown period.

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Jason Mefford: You know, in fact, I think the latest version or.

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Jason Mefford: Anyway, I was doing something on my phone and apple has it, you know the sleep sleep time kind of thing, where you.

00:15:01.560 –> 00:15:05.220
Jason Mefford: Get said hey I want to go to sleep at this time and wake up at this time in it.

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Jason Mefford: And one of the prompts is, would you like a quiet down period or something that they call it right.

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Jason Mefford: Nice and so it’ll actually silence your phone or put it on do not disturb a half an hour before you go to bed.

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Jason Mefford: Oh okay so so the half an hour is important if you’re still on the device using blue light glasses right like my reading glasses, have the blue light stuff in it, so that that helps you to settle down because, again, the bright light from the.

00:15:35.970 –> 00:15:51.570
Jason Mefford: From the electronic devices mimics light and so again, it makes you feel like it’s not really time to go to bed because you’ve just been looking at the sun, for the last 30 minutes right okay so.

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Jason Mefford: So so there’s that but, again, you know it’s it’s those things that you do 30 minutes before you go to bed, that is what you are most suggestible about when you go to bed yeah so it’s not a surprise again if you if you watch a scary movie.

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Jason Mefford: chances are you might have some nightmares because you know if you if you finish that movie you go right to bed.

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Jason Mefford: Those things are going to be playing out in your mind so again i’m not telling you don’t watch scary movies, if you like, it fine yeah but do something else a half an hour to hour before you go to bed that’s going to not make you more susceptible to having nightmares.

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Kathy Gruver: yep yep yep and let me throw something on top of that, that people think is a good way to fall asleep scalding hot bath jump in the jacuzzi or the hot tub.

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Kathy Gruver: That is actually really bad for you right before you go to bed one it’s dehydrating.

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Kathy Gruver: And to it relaxes your muscles, which is great except, then you get into bed, and then your muscles cool down.

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Kathy Gruver: And so often, you can wake up with a headache with a neck ache with aches and pains, because your body was in this like malleable pliable thing and then you know fall asleep like this and you wake up the next morning going.

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Kathy Gruver: So you know if you want to do a hot bath or a jacuzzi that’s great but do it earlier.

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Kathy Gruver: So that your body has time to let it cool down, you can still move before you jump into bed, I used to do I would get out of a scolding bath and go straight to sleep, because if you tires you out.

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Kathy Gruver: And I would wake up with a headache I would wake up feeling awful my neck would hurt my shoulder will be wonky so you know don’t jump out of the water straight into a bed.

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Jason Mefford: Well, and one thing to that you mentioned, you know because I know a lot of a lot of people do struggle with this so wake up at two o’clock in the morning.

00:17:43.620 –> 00:17:54.150
Jason Mefford: With that to do list in their mind right so so one of the things you can do to in the 30 minutes is hey if there’s something you haven’t gotten done yet.

00:17:54.990 –> 00:18:02.400
Jason Mefford: Just do it and take care of it, so your brain doesn’t have to worry about it right so that’s like you were saying with noon, or whatever you’re using it’s.

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Jason Mefford: If, at the end of the day, you haven’t done everything that you needed to just take care of it.

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Jason Mefford: And then just allow yourself to sleep and realize that all take care of whatever else needs to be done.

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Jason Mefford: Tomorrow yeah I can allow myself this time to go to sleep in fact doing that will make it make you much more productive tomorrow, whenever you’ve got to deal with whatever you’ve got to deal with.

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Kathy Gruver: yep let’s say this do it if it’s something that is easy to do if it’s.

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Jason Mefford: I need to start from scratch and do my taxes.

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Jason Mefford: don’t start your taxes right good.

00:18:37.500 –> 00:18:44.220
Kathy Gruver: start, but you might be able to do a brain dump where you sit there you go okay tomorrow what am I going to do tomorrow, I need to start the taxes.

00:18:44.520 –> 00:18:49.860
Kathy Gruver: I need to pay the mortgage I need to call my mother in law, I need to and then put it away.

00:18:50.790 –> 00:18:57.720
Kathy Gruver: you’ve written it down it’s out of your brain tell yourself hey look, you know I appreciate you going through the to do list again we’ve written it down.

00:18:58.470 –> 00:19:09.270
Kathy Gruver: and the rest of us have to sleep, so if you can just quiet that down and trust that i’m going to do this first thing tomorrow and then normally I have that start to have that conversation with myself but it’s how I get two sentences in i’m out.

00:19:09.600 –> 00:19:14.250
Kathy Gruver: Because my the other ego states if you’ve not if you don’t know ego States go back and watch the ego state one.

00:19:15.150 –> 00:19:18.180
Kathy Gruver: You know the other ego says oh OK, we don’t have to capricorn right now.

00:19:18.630 –> 00:19:26.370
Kathy Gruver: they’ve got it down she’s going to do this tomorrow if you wake up in the middle of the night, and you forget oh crap I pay the mortgage and don’t lay there and ruminate about it.

00:19:26.730 –> 00:19:30.060
Kathy Gruver: go down and frickin check to see if you paid the mortgage if it’s going to keep you up all night.

00:19:30.450 –> 00:19:36.900
Kathy Gruver: I remember waking up in the middle, the night I used to wear four rings, I had my wedding band, and my engagement ring, which was my grandmother’s engagement ring.

00:19:37.290 –> 00:19:41.250
Kathy Gruver: And then I had this ring and then another band That was my other grandmothers.

00:19:41.910 –> 00:19:51.540
Kathy Gruver: And for some reason, when I sleep, I feel my jewelry and if i’m not wearing it it like wakes me up and I actually kind of freak out a little bit so like if I take them off or trapeze and don’t put them back on.

00:19:52.170 –> 00:19:59.430
Kathy Gruver: it’s weird to me I just i’m just so used to having them, so I woke up in the other night, and I only felt three of the four rings that was like.

00:20:00.210 –> 00:20:10.080
Kathy Gruver: Oh no oh no and I started to panic and I kind of went back through my day and I was doing a lot of massage then, so I take my rings off I put them a little Cup next to my massage table.

00:20:10.470 –> 00:20:15.660
Kathy Gruver: And it at the end of the day, I put them back on and I thought, oh no I put them on as I was walking to the car.

00:20:15.900 –> 00:20:23.460
Kathy Gruver: What if I dropped, one of the parking lot is my grandmother’s ring What if it’s gone and I started to ruminate it was like three o’clock in the morning and I thought you know what.

00:20:24.060 –> 00:20:32.310
Kathy Gruver: you’re not going to sleep, you need to go to your office, so I got up in the middle and I threw on sweatpants and a sweater I drove the six minutes to my office.

00:20:33.030 –> 00:20:40.260
Kathy Gruver: Sure enough in the cup there was the fourth ring I put it on I went huh I went home and went back to sleep I just fell right back to sleep.

00:20:41.190 –> 00:20:48.690
Kathy Gruver: Because I knew that if I didn’t go check I would be up all night, and it would be pointless so it’s like if you have to take care of the problem.

00:20:49.050 –> 00:20:59.400
Kathy Gruver: Go check something go check to see whatever it is make sure you turn off the stove please check that one see if you paid the bill see if you responded to that email see where your ring is you know.

00:20:59.790 –> 00:21:10.080
Kathy Gruver: Again don’t start the taxes in the middle of the night, but if it’s something that is going to keep you up and it’s fixable you don’t have to lay there and suffer, you know you have permission to get up if you need to.

00:21:11.310 –> 00:21:19.560
Jason Mefford: Another little trick that i’ve heard a lot of people do i’ve done in different points in my life but put a put a pad of paper and pen next to your bed.

00:21:19.920 –> 00:21:22.980
Jason Mefford: Right so again, if you wake up in the middle of the night just write it down.

00:21:23.400 –> 00:21:24.360
Jason Mefford: Go back to sleep.

00:21:24.870 –> 00:21:34.470
Jason Mefford: And in the morning it’ll be there for you, but it allows you to release it just take care of it because, like you said, if you if you notice that you’re in termination.

00:21:35.340 –> 00:21:41.790
Jason Mefford: You got to take care of it because you’re going to sit there ruminating, and that is not going to let you go back to sleep.

00:21:42.120 –> 00:21:43.200
Jason Mefford: No just take care of it.

00:21:43.530 –> 00:21:52.830
Kathy Gruver: yep take care of it, oh I love this oh my gosh we have so many tips from sleep hygiene and getting the right bed to to what happens if you wake up in the middle, the night, this is good see we just.

00:21:52.860 –> 00:21:53.550
Kathy Gruver: really good ideas.

00:21:54.180 –> 00:21:57.780
Jason Mefford: Yes, I think I think we knew what we were talking about on this one, even though.

00:21:57.780 –> 00:22:05.010
Kathy Gruver: At the beginning, people are like oh no maybe I need to stop the podcast care six people don’t know what they’re talking about, we always know it well.

00:22:05.580 –> 00:22:06.300
Kathy Gruver: Maybe not always.

00:22:06.360 –> 00:22:08.700
Kathy Gruver: know when the between the two of us were pretty smart.

00:22:08.970 –> 00:22:14.190
Jason Mefford: I know I got half a brain you got more than half a brain together we’re we’re just fine right.

00:22:15.540 –> 00:22:17.010
Kathy Gruver: I think we have at least upbringing.

00:22:18.600 –> 00:22:20.790
Kathy Gruver: Perfect alright so hey this has been fabulous.

00:22:21.840 –> 00:22:27.270
Kathy Gruver: Go have a great night sleep, if you have problems, you know really just sit down and think about some of the stuff that we suggested.

00:22:27.480 –> 00:22:38.670
Kathy Gruver: there’s, so much so much more out there, like I said I actually mentioned it, and two of my books, I talked about sleep and and going to sleep, so you picked us up to i’m Kathy Gruber, I can be reached at Kathy Gruber calm.

00:22:38.970 –> 00:22:49.290
Jason Mefford: And i’m Jason method, I can be reached at Jason method calm so tonight have a great sleep and we’ll catch you on the next fire and earth podcast see ya.

00:22:49.680 –> 00:22:50.130

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