Purpose fuels everything we do. When we live our #purpose we get lit up and on fire! In this #fireandearthpodcast episode we are joined by Connie Benjamin, an international speaker and author of the book: Women With Fire™: 6 Secrets to Purpose, Prosperity, and Passion.

Get out your paper and pen and take some notes, since we talk through some acronyms that will give you the steps to unlock your potential, tap into inspirations, and find your right next step to take action. We also discuss why FIRE #goals are much more effective than SMART goals. Yep, that’s another acronym you’re going to want to learn and apply in your life.

Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/fireandearthpodcast/

Connie is also the podcast host for My Fire Within Radio. After sharing her message from the stage with thousands of people, she realized women entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs who want to make a difference in the world through their work without losing their family, or their sanity needed a book to guide them in how to do it.

Connie discovered it was possible to have it all, at the right time, and in the right order after she learned about Higher Laws principles. Now, she dedicates her time to sharing her knowledge with female self-starters to help them improve their lives. These principles helped Connie restore her marriage from feeling disconnected to being better than the day she and her husband Andy were married! These principles also helped her replace her day job income as she found renewed love in being a stay-at-home mom with her three daughters, and recovered her health.

Learn more at: https://www.myfirewithin.com/

To get access to the FREE purpose discovery session Connie mentioned during the episode visit: https://www.myfirewithin.com/purpose


00:00:01.860 –> 00:00:06.600
Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast, I’m your co host Jason Medford

00:00:07.529 –> 00:00:14.460
Kathy Gruver: And I am Kathy gruver and we are so thrilled to be back. And also, so thrilled to have an amazing guest. Why is that funny.

00:00:15.630 –> 00:00:21.900
Jason Mefford: We had a little pause there. So people that are listening, you’re gonna think oh my gosh, it is something wrong with my phone.

00:00:24.480 –> 00:00:26.700
Jason Mefford: No, everything’s fine, we’re still here.

00:00:27.060 –> 00:00:31.350
Kathy Gruver: Throw in moments of silence, just to mess with and maybe noises. No. So we’re thrilled to have

00:00:32.070 –> 00:00:44.970
Kathy Gruver: A very dear friend of mine. Connie Benjamin. She has an amazing show. She just did an incredible women’s event. Connie Benjamin’s going to talk about unleashing your potential through purpose, which we’re really excited about. So hey, Connie. Thanks for coming on the show.

00:00:46.560 –> 00:00:52.650
Connie Benjamin: Thank you so much. Kathy and Jason. You guys are so fun. I love this podcast and I’m so grateful to be here.

00:00:53.160 –> 00:00:59.160
Kathy Gruver: Oh, yay. Thanks. Once you tell everybody a little bit about how you got started your background and how you got to where you are right now.

00:01:00.660 –> 00:01:06.090
Connie Benjamin: That sounds great. I’m going to tell you a crazy story. I love crazy stories. So here we go.

00:01:07.110 –> 00:01:13.230
Connie Benjamin: I was I was it started really when I was in the midst of shattered glass, so I’m going to tell you how I got there.

00:01:14.010 –> 00:01:16.020
Jason Mefford: I was just literally shattered.

00:01:16.020 –> 00:01:17.100
Connie Benjamin: Glass literally

00:01:17.280 –> 00:01:19.740
Connie Benjamin: Literally Jason in the midst of shattered glass.

00:01:20.100 –> 00:01:26.580
Connie Benjamin: SO CRAZY STORY. So I, I had a job. I loved helping people. I loved what he did.

00:01:26.940 –> 00:01:35.070
Connie Benjamin: But I wanted to be home with my little girl that’s where my heart was that. And at the time, we actually lived in an area of town that was really unsafe.

00:01:35.490 –> 00:01:41.940
Connie Benjamin: And so I knew we had to move, but I think we didn’t have enough money and I had no idea what I was going to do to make more money.

00:01:42.390 –> 00:01:48.750
Connie Benjamin: So finally, I decided, okay, I’m going to start a business, but I knew nothing about business. And so I started going to events.

00:01:49.080 –> 00:02:00.390
Connie Benjamin: Finally, I got some success and we had enough money to move. And I remember walking to a new house, and our little girl went like skipping across the kitchen and out into the backyard with these big trees.

00:02:00.750 –> 00:02:11.580
Connie Benjamin: And I felt like I did it. I won. But what I didn’t realize is, I was actually about to lose everything that mattered most to me because, although I had focused so much on building my business.

00:02:12.000 –> 00:02:19.740
Connie Benjamin: I was totally out of alignment with my relationships. I wasn’t living my purpose. I was feeling empty inside and feeling stressed out.

00:02:20.100 –> 00:02:29.820
Connie Benjamin: And so everything came to a head. One day when I was in my office I was late for an interview. I had a million things on my to do list like stress was just all over my face.

00:02:30.150 –> 00:02:34.170
Connie Benjamin: If you ever been so stressed out. You can’t even think clearly, that is how I felt.

00:02:34.710 –> 00:02:40.950
Connie Benjamin: And so I was there in a moment of complete desperation overwhelm actually picked up a glass and threw it at the wall.

00:02:41.280 –> 00:02:51.960
Connie Benjamin: And I remember looking down around me and seeing pieces of shattered glass. And in that moment I realized I had to change. I had to find a way to

00:02:52.410 –> 00:03:00.930
Connie Benjamin: Live my purpose through my work and be connected with myself and my family. And so that’s what I’ve spent the last decade, doing is finding the principles.

00:03:01.200 –> 00:03:11.910
Connie Benjamin: That would help me to do that. And so now that’s that’s what I do is support entrepreneurs with overcoming self doubt overcoming overwhelmed, so they can step into their potential through their purpose.

00:03:13.350 –> 00:03:18.780
Jason Mefford: And I think that you know the story that you just shared is so relevant for so many people

00:03:19.620 –> 00:03:25.470
Jason Mefford: You know, it’s like it’s like we we work really hard. I mean, you had a goal you know you wanted to get out of the neighborhood that you were in

00:03:26.040 –> 00:03:30.960
Jason Mefford: You know you started getting some success, but it just didn’t feel right, you know, and it’s like

00:03:31.470 –> 00:03:39.630
Jason Mefford: I think every I felt that I’m guessing Kathy you felt that at some point in your life as well too. Right. I mean that that this is a common thing.

00:03:40.140 –> 00:03:53.850
Jason Mefford: You know, you talk to people, they’re like, Yeah, you know, I, I hate my job. I hate what I do. I don’t feel like I’m whatever right that there’s so many people in life that are out of alignment. So this is fabulous.

00:03:55.080 –> 00:03:55.890
Connie Benjamin: Well, and I’m just

00:03:56.580 –> 00:04:01.470
Kathy Gruver: I love what that metaphor is because you broke this old system broke this old paradigm

00:04:01.830 –> 00:04:07.860
Kathy Gruver: And then we’ll talk about, you know, picking up the pieces kind of thing. I mean, you were surrounded by that old paradigm and you had an ability to

00:04:08.250 –> 00:04:17.640
Kathy Gruver: Take that and create from what you wanted to. So that’s, I love that metaphor. And I love that experience that you went through. So yeah. Cool. So you talked about your five steps to

00:04:19.320 –> 00:04:26.100
Kathy Gruver: finding your purpose and living through purpose. So why don’t you launch in and tell us some of those and we’ll, we’ll play with that. That sounds amazing.

00:04:26.850 –> 00:04:34.560
Connie Benjamin: Okay. Sounds good. This is one of my favorite things to talk about. And by the way, thank you for that. I agree. I think that this this conversation, especially right now.

00:04:34.950 –> 00:04:43.020
Connie Benjamin: With what’s happening in the world right now people are stopping and reflecting and saying, wait a minute. Am I where I wanted to be we’re facing a lot of

00:04:43.350 –> 00:04:50.250
Connie Benjamin: Questions around, who do I want to be who, how do I want to show up. What is my purpose. So I’m so grateful for this conversation.

00:04:51.150 –> 00:05:02.700
Connie Benjamin: The five keys to unlocking your potential through purpose is one of my favorite things to talk about. Because I think that every single person in this entire world has a purpose.

00:05:03.090 –> 00:05:11.490
Connie Benjamin: And before I dive into these keys. I want to share a quick story because I love stories and this is how this crazy mess came to be.

00:05:11.910 –> 00:05:21.330
Connie Benjamin: So I after that moment in the shattered glass and Kathy. I love how you talk about that. It really was a metaphor, what was happening for me. I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t

00:05:21.690 –> 00:05:32.430
Connie Benjamin: Go back to what I was before. And so here it was committed. Okay, I’m going to do what I need to do. I’m going to live my purpose. I’m going to be connected to the people I love. I’m going to find myself again.

00:05:32.910 –> 00:05:38.610
Connie Benjamin: And it felt kind of lost. Honestly, I was like purposes, such a big thing. I don’t know where to start.

00:05:39.090 –> 00:05:45.210
Connie Benjamin: And I remember it was about five years ago that I got inspiration to write my book. My book is women with fire and

00:05:45.660 –> 00:05:52.860
Connie Benjamin: I’m so grateful hit number one international bestseller in a day, but at the time when i when i was got the inspiration to write the book.

00:05:53.250 –> 00:06:00.210
Connie Benjamin: I was thinking, I’m not an author, who’s going to read my book, like I wasn’t even a blogger at the time I

00:06:00.600 –> 00:06:11.400
Connie Benjamin: Did not have this you know desire burning in my soul to write a book, but I had inspiration and a purpose to write the book. And so then it was this journey, figuring out how do I do that.

00:06:11.640 –> 00:06:18.570
Connie Benjamin: How do I step into that when I don’t feel up to the task when I’m dealing with my own crazy making subconscious beliefs.

00:06:18.840 –> 00:06:31.140
Connie Benjamin: When I’m dealing with just the chaos of my life and just see, you know, at the moment that I got that inspiration. I had a baby and a toddler and a preteen like my life was a mess. In fact, there

00:06:31.770 –> 00:06:31.950
Kathy Gruver: Was

00:06:32.070 –> 00:06:40.530
Connie Benjamin: Tons of free time. Yes, totally I you know what’s so funny is sometimes when I think about what I believe an author to be and I think about, you know,

00:06:40.860 –> 00:06:44.040
Connie Benjamin: Looking over the lake with this big, huge deck and

00:06:44.190 –> 00:06:54.840
Connie Benjamin: pondering the thoughts that will come into our minds and with the hot cocoa beside us and the soft music and the ways like this was not my life I was literally writing my books.

00:06:54.900 –> 00:07:04.950
Connie Benjamin: At times in my closet, because that was the only quiet place in my house with my laptop on top of my laundry basket, which was unfolded. Of course it was.

00:07:05.250 –> 00:07:12.870
Connie Benjamin: So my life was just crazy. And so, to try and figure this out of how do we step into our purpose when our life feels crazy

00:07:13.200 –> 00:07:26.010
Connie Benjamin: When we don’t feel up to the task when we don’t feel enough and when crazy stuff happens because when we’re on a path of purpose crazy stuff happens. So let’s. Does that make sense. That’s my crazy story.

00:07:26.730 –> 00:07:33.150
Jason Mefford: No, it was well. Well, it is. And actually, because as you were talking, it reminded me on my walk this morning I was listening to another podcast.

00:07:33.690 –> 00:07:43.020
Jason Mefford: And he mentioned Paul McCartney and it was an interview and one that I actually, I had remembered so when he was talking about. It was like, I could see the interview again because I’d seen it right

00:07:43.740 –> 00:07:55.440
Jason Mefford: And and and and those thoughts that you had about, you know, I want to write a book, but who am I right that we all have these feelings of doubt of self.

00:07:55.920 –> 00:08:01.800
Jason Mefford: You know, lack of self worth. Who am I, kind of a thing. And I remember because because it brought up again in that in that

00:08:02.310 –> 00:08:06.720
Jason Mefford: Interview with Paul McCartney, at the end, you know, they asked him a question. So, you know, what is it that you’re

00:08:07.170 –> 00:08:11.430
Jason Mefford: You know, afraid ever kind of conservative and he’s like you know that people won’t like me.

00:08:12.000 –> 00:08:31.500
Jason Mefford: It’s like, holy shit you’re Paul sir Hall fucking McCartney right beetle an icon and even at that level. We’re all human we all still have some of those things. But like you said, all you really need is the inspiration and crazy things happen. Yeah, we’re all good enough.

00:08:32.340 –> 00:08:37.530
Kathy Gruver: Well, and is that imposter syndrome. I mean, because it’s been drilled into our head that we have to have certain this or certain that

00:08:37.770 –> 00:08:47.100
Kathy Gruver: To write a book to be successful to be like to be a speaker to be whatever it is, we’ve all struggled with that and I’ve talked to so many women in tech specifically who have issues with

00:08:47.370 –> 00:08:54.600
Kathy Gruver: This imposter syndrome thing and feeling like they’re not enough, they could be, you know, one of the top engineers at Apple, and they still feel like they’re not enough so

00:08:55.380 –> 00:09:03.060
Kathy Gruver: I think we’ve all had moments of that we all share that experience. So I’m excited that we’re talking about this. So, so let’s. What’s the first step. I’m dying to know. I want to know.

00:09:03.150 –> 00:09:09.660
Connie Benjamin: Okay, okay. I love it. And thank you so much for that. I love that conversation that yeah we all feel this. So, this is so important.

00:09:10.110 –> 00:09:15.780
Connie Benjamin: So the first step. It’s an acronym. I believe strongly in acronyms, because this is how I remember

00:09:16.110 –> 00:09:25.440
Connie Benjamin: And so the first step is priorities. So purpose is the acronym, and the P stands for priorities, how can we have our priorities in order in such

00:09:25.710 –> 00:09:34.770
Connie Benjamin: A way that we can receive inspiration. We can take care of ourselves and we can connect to the people that we love and what matters most. So making sure those are in place.

00:09:35.250 –> 00:09:45.660
Connie Benjamin: And the u stands for unconscious beliefs, the awareness that I mean we know this Kathy. I loved your book so much. That’s why I referenced it so much in my book was because

00:09:45.960 –> 00:09:52.830
Connie Benjamin: I love that you were one of the biggest lights in my sky that helped me to understand how much unconscious beliefs are going on.

00:09:53.100 –> 00:10:02.280
Connie Benjamin: I mean, we know that they make up 94 95% of of what what we believe in who we are. So we need to be aware of those. So that’s the you

00:10:03.000 –> 00:10:11.310
Connie Benjamin: Know The R stands for right next step. And so often what happens is when we go on this purpose driven path we feel like

00:10:11.610 –> 00:10:20.220
Connie Benjamin: I just have to have it all figured out. And we don’t we just need to take the right next step. And I actually use fire goals to help me to get clarity on that.

00:10:21.150 –> 00:10:37.530
Connie Benjamin: The P stands for power above connecting with that divine inspiration, whatever way that means for people. So for some people. People talk about, you know, doing meditation doing yoga. Yoga to be being like Yoda and connecting with the divine right

00:10:38.670 –> 00:10:45.570
Connie Benjamin: Or prayer or whatever that is. But finding a way to get that download, so we know what our next steps are

00:10:46.140 –> 00:10:55.080
Connie Benjamin: And the O stands for overcoming obstacles. Because here’s what I know, I know that when we’re on a purpose driven path.

00:10:55.410 –> 00:11:08.730
Connie Benjamin: It’s not going to be easy because we have to become the person that can fulfill that purpose driven path. So we are going to face obstacles. So will we be able to overcome those and how can we overcome them when they pop up.

00:11:09.570 –> 00:11:16.500
Connie Benjamin: And the S love this. This is a tricky one. It sounds so simple but it’s so complex is surrender.

00:11:16.950 –> 00:11:24.660
Connie Benjamin: to surrender our beliefs to surrender, who we think we are to step into who we can be with the help of the divine

00:11:25.200 –> 00:11:30.600
Connie Benjamin: And he and purpose, you know, this stands for engage with a full heart.

00:11:31.140 –> 00:11:45.540
Connie Benjamin: This is really important. This means out of love for service of other people out of love for service of the divine out of love for service of ourselves and stepping into our full potential. So that is the five keys to unlocking purpose.

00:11:46.380 –> 00:11:47.610
Kathy Gruver: This is going to be a six hour show

00:11:48.240 –> 00:11:52.560
Connie Benjamin: Right, I know each each line is like a whole conversation. I understand.

00:11:53.910 –> 00:11:55.440
Jason Mefford: Well, you might have to come back.

00:11:56.640 –> 00:11:58.950
Kathy Gruver: We’re gonna hit her. And that’s as far as we’re going to get

00:11:59.190 –> 00:12:00.030
Kathy Gruver: You’re gonna have to come back.

00:12:00.270 –> 00:12:06.690
Kathy Gruver: Now this is, I love this because you’ve broken it down in in so many ways. And I’m sitting here, nodding my head going, yes, yes, yes, yes.

00:12:06.960 –> 00:12:14.790
Kathy Gruver: Because I think once once you figure out what you want. That’s always the question I start with you have to start with, with all of those steps that you just went through.

00:12:15.690 –> 00:12:23.460
Kathy Gruver: And the prioritizing I think especially right now. And I don’t know when the show is going to air right now. We’re still in the middle of of coven

00:12:24.120 –> 00:12:31.830
Kathy Gruver: And I think trying to prioritize things is so tough and I there’s so many things that I want to do. There’s so many things on my to do list so many different lanes, I could be in

00:12:32.100 –> 00:12:39.810
Kathy Gruver: That there are some days I go and I don’t do anything but play Pokemon because I don’t know what to do next. I haven’t prioritized any of those things. It’s going back to what

00:12:42.330 –> 00:12:51.930
Kathy Gruver: Sarah Caputo said about being in the weeds and not being true to what your highest good and purposes, at that point. So I love this Jason please chime in, or solve Babylon forever.

00:12:54.330 –> 00:12:59.220
Jason Mefford: I think, let me, let me see if I if I heard you correctly, too, because when you were talking about the right next steps.

00:13:00.330 –> 00:13:01.860
Jason Mefford: Because I think this is one

00:13:03.210 –> 00:13:10.680
Jason Mefford: You know, one of the coaching programs. I’m actually going through right now is, is you know about getting out of your head. Part of it right. It’s just being

00:13:11.130 –> 00:13:16.500
Jason Mefford: And intake whatever these right next steps are because we tend to overthink things

00:13:17.040 –> 00:13:22.380
Jason Mefford: And then we’ll just sit there and we just start thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking

00:13:22.800 –> 00:13:27.840
Jason Mefford: And then nothing ever happens right and it’s, you got to get off your ass and actually go do something right

00:13:28.350 –> 00:13:42.360
Jason Mefford: But I think I thought I heard you say something about fire goals is that which is that the term, right. So maybe explain, that’s a term I haven’t heard. So in trying to find some of the right next steps. What, what, what does that mean that fire goals term that you were thrown out there.

00:13:43.020 –> 00:13:49.170
Connie Benjamin: Awesome you Jason, you haven’t heard it because it’s part of the my feminine system. So it’s part of what I’ve created

00:13:49.470 –> 00:13:54.810
Connie Benjamin: And just to, you know, I created this because I believe that there’s a gap in what’s happening with goals today.

00:13:55.110 –> 00:14:00.930
Connie Benjamin: I think I love how you’re talking about that we do need to be focused on the right. Next step, and we need to get out of our heads.

00:14:01.260 –> 00:14:09.000
Connie Benjamin: And what often happens is we can go when we feel inspired to write a book to start the podcast to start a program, whatever it is, to share our message.

00:14:09.420 –> 00:14:18.840
Connie Benjamin: We can often be caught by our logical minds and it just stops us Kathy, you talked about that we can get distracted. And often that’s what happens with our goals is

00:14:19.380 –> 00:14:27.720
Connie Benjamin: There’s three things that usually come up to block our goals distraction deception things that seem true and are not true and discouragement.

00:14:28.050 –> 00:14:38.220
Connie Benjamin: And so the fire goals is one of I found the most effective ways to hitting those next right steps in a way that is really, really focused and very effective.

00:14:38.580 –> 00:14:49.860
Connie Benjamin: Often we talk about smart goals and I think SMART goals are awesome. It’s great to be smart, but why not freakin be on fire. Like, let’s put our goals on fire. We I get lit up about this because I think that

00:14:50.820 –> 00:15:04.260
Connie Benjamin: There’s a piece missing in SMART goals. And so I really take a stand about that. So fire goals at the first. It’s an acronym because I love acronyms. So the F in fire goal stands for focused goal.

00:15:04.620 –> 00:15:15.840
Connie Benjamin: And that’s a two step process. One is a focus school on what’s our long term vision Kathy, you talked about that. What is, what are we going for, and to be really clear about our long term vision.

00:15:16.200 –> 00:15:22.860
Connie Benjamin: And then the second part to that is what is one next step I can take every day towards that goal.

00:15:23.160 –> 00:15:32.700
Connie Benjamin: So Jason, you talked about how important that is. So, for example, for me, when I was writing my fair or sorry, I have a podcast to when I was writing women with fire that book.

00:15:33.060 –> 00:15:41.580
Connie Benjamin: I said, Okay, I don’t have long stretches of time, but I’ve got 15 minutes I can write in my book for 15 minutes. So that was my focused daily goal.

00:15:42.660 –> 00:15:52.620
Connie Benjamin: Now the i in fire goal stands for. And by the way, this is what is missing in most goal setting programs. This is the thing that drives me crazy because

00:15:52.890 –> 00:15:59.670
Connie Benjamin: If we don’t have this, we will not have a fire lit under our butts. So we can do what we need to do to get her done

00:15:59.970 –> 00:16:17.670
Connie Benjamin: This is what’s going to make that difference. So the i in fire goal stands for incentive having an incentive in place when I do my daily goal. What do I get if I don’t do it. What do I lose. And when I was writing my book I used everything from I can you know

00:16:18.750 –> 00:16:33.630
Connie Benjamin: Some crazy stuff. I can have a shower. As soon as are writing my book for 15 minutes a day. I can check my phone as soon as our writing my book for 15 minutes a day. I can have the smoothie that I like instead of the one that is 95% kale.

00:16:33.960 –> 00:16:38.310
Connie Benjamin: As soon as it right as soon as they’re reading my book for 15 minutes a day.

00:16:38.520 –> 00:16:46.890
Connie Benjamin: So I had that incentive to light a fire under my butt and the art stand in fire goals stands for responsibility.

00:16:47.190 –> 00:16:56.610
Connie Benjamin: Recognizing that when we have a goal that’s an inspired goal, and I believe that that is important for us to have these inspired goals when we have that, we have a responsibility.

00:16:57.210 –> 00:17:02.700
Connie Benjamin: We have a responsibility to our future self, we have a responsibility to our creator or that higher power.

00:17:03.000 –> 00:17:11.550
Connie Benjamin: And we have a responsibility to the person that we’re going to bless either from achieving that goal or from inspiring other people by achieving that goal.

00:17:11.880 –> 00:17:25.800
Connie Benjamin: And so to recognizing that we’ve got a responsibility here and tell someone you know I became an author, THE MOMENT I’VE GOT ON A Facebook Live and said, Hey, I’m Connie Benjamin, author of the upcoming book women with fire that literally had one chapter written

00:17:27.150 –> 00:17:36.690
Connie Benjamin: And I said it, and it was awkward. But that’s when I came an author. So, and the. So that’s the fire goals. Now they be and this is so important is to have an exact time

00:17:37.020 –> 00:17:52.380
Connie Benjamin: When exactly am I going to achieve that goal. You know, when I’m writing my book I can have a shower. As soon as I’m writing my book for 15 minutes every day at 6am, and if I do it, I get the great smoothie. And if I don’t get this movie that’s 95% kale.

00:17:53.220 –> 00:18:00.660
Jason Mefford: But I think it’s interesting because I’ve done a lot with incentives in the corporate environment, you know, as well. And it’s it’s it’s interesting psychologically to

00:18:01.140 –> 00:18:12.720
Jason Mefford: How you bring up the good versus the bad incentive because, as humans, again, based on how our brain works. We’re three times more likely to think of negative things or want to avoid.

00:18:13.200 –> 00:18:21.720
Jason Mefford: Things that we believe are threatening or risk to us, we’re much more likely to take action to avoid

00:18:22.560 –> 00:18:33.420
Jason Mefford: A bad thing than we are to get a good thing. I mean, it’s just crazy, right. That’s how it ends up working. So actually I like how you put in there with the incentive. It’s both right. Do you want the

00:18:33.600 –> 00:18:36.570
Jason Mefford: You want the Kale Smoothie today. Connie, or you’re gonna write that chapter.

00:18:38.550 –> 00:18:46.530
Jason Mefford: Chapter. Right. Um, yeah, that would that actually that can help to also propel us and moves forward as well too. Yeah.

00:18:47.520 –> 00:18:51.990
Kathy Gruver: Yeah, and I grew up in a house where it was. Do your homework before you could watch TV.

00:18:52.230 –> 00:18:56.520
Kathy Gruver: And I remember having to inspire myself that way in college where if I had a long paper do

00:18:56.730 –> 00:19:04.050
Kathy Gruver: Like I would have to go to the bathroom so bad, but like you have to finish this paragraph. And then you could go to the bathroom. It’s like I had to do that to myself to get motivated

00:19:04.290 –> 00:19:08.370
Kathy Gruver: And I’ve almost kind of let that go. Now, and especially with so much free time.

00:19:09.000 –> 00:19:16.350
Kathy Gruver: One of the things I wanted to do was finished my next book. I’m about halfway through, you know, I haven’t picked up. I haven’t done one one paragraph of it again.

00:19:16.800 –> 00:19:20.790
Kathy Gruver: And I had to actually question will then is this really important to me.

00:19:21.330 –> 00:19:26.850
Kathy Gruver: Because if I truly want to do that thing. I have had all the time in there. I could have written 13 books in the amount of time I’ve been sitting at home.

00:19:27.240 –> 00:19:33.600
Kathy Gruver: Do I really want that thing. And so I actually had to think about that, you know, is this important to me. Is this an inspired goal.

00:19:33.960 –> 00:19:44.040
Kathy Gruver: If I’ve not spent the time on it, or am I just being lazy. So for some with its kind of in that situation. Connie, you know, how do we determine what we really want is that something we want to actually put our time towards

00:19:44.730 –> 00:19:54.810
Connie Benjamin: And love that question. That is so powerful. I think there’s a couple things that we can do and I’m so passionate about getting clear about a purpose, because I believe that it fuels everything else.

00:19:55.110 –> 00:20:05.070
Connie Benjamin: In fact, I just talked to an incredible philanthropist and and world class entrepreneur. She’s literally given a million dollars to charity, just from the work that she does.

00:20:05.400 –> 00:20:14.760
Connie Benjamin: And one of the first things out of her mouth is Connie. I know how important it is to live my purpose because when I when I’m living my purpose. I’m lit up when I’m not living my purpose. I’m not

00:20:15.150 –> 00:20:19.680
Connie Benjamin: And so I share that with you because I think that’s what happens when we have a goal that we need to achieve.

00:20:19.890 –> 00:20:28.290
Connie Benjamin: If we can get really clear about our purpose we get lit up, we’re willing to crawl over glass to do what we need to do, we’re willing to face those obstacles.

00:20:28.710 –> 00:20:36.360
Connie Benjamin: And that’s why I’ve actually developed a purpose discovery session where I just walk people through how to get clear on your purpose. What does this look like

00:20:36.660 –> 00:20:42.270
Connie Benjamin: Because I think that that’s the starting place. And once we’re. And by the way, once we get clear on that purpose.

00:20:42.540 –> 00:20:53.370
Connie Benjamin: Then what we do. Cathy is and I love how you talk about like being really clear about is this something I really want. So one of the ways that is really effective to do that is go to meditation.

00:20:53.940 –> 00:21:02.730
Connie Benjamin: Go to that quiet space and ask. Ask i would i would say there’s two steps. Ask the Creator. Is this what you want me to do.

00:21:03.000 –> 00:21:12.930
Connie Benjamin: With that divine purpose that divine source, whatever that is universe creator Allah God, whatever that is for you go to that divine source ask, is this what would you have me do next.

00:21:13.380 –> 00:21:25.770
Connie Benjamin: And then seek within yourself and say what lights me up and I know for myself that every single time I’ve done that. I mean, I’ve gotten inspiration to do crazy crap, I’m talking like

00:21:26.100 –> 00:21:31.590
Connie Benjamin: You know, I got inspiration. Okay, kind of pick up your family and move across move to another country in six days.

00:21:32.640 –> 00:21:38.040
Connie Benjamin: Did it. I literally picked up my family moved to another country in six days I got inspiration, what are you going to do

00:21:38.430 –> 00:21:49.080
Connie Benjamin: You know i and this is worked with every single. And by the way, doing that decision is what helped me launch my book. It’s what helped me launch my podcast. It’s all it opened up a bunch of doors for me.

00:21:49.620 –> 00:21:54.120
Connie Benjamin: So part of part of that conversation also needs to be said that

00:21:54.750 –> 00:22:00.960
Connie Benjamin: We will not see the end result we won’t know when we get that inspiration Kathy when you’re sitting there being like okay

00:22:01.260 –> 00:22:11.010
Connie Benjamin: Creator universe. What do you want me to do next. If you get inspiration about that book. You may not know what that has in store for you what that book is where it’s going to lead you

00:22:11.490 –> 00:22:26.910
Connie Benjamin: Or maybe you get inspiration. Don’t write the book do this instead focus on this, but the awareness that there is a bigger plan. And as we take smaller steps towards it. It’s like our past gets illuminated. We do not have the we do not have the

00:22:29.370 –> 00:22:35.550
Connie Benjamin: Gift of seeing exactly where our paths will lead you can just see the next step. Yeah.

00:22:35.970 –> 00:22:40.740
Kathy Gruver: I love that. And I love to talk about that inspiration to just pick up and move because that’s how I got to California.

00:22:41.070 –> 00:22:47.670
Kathy Gruver: I knew I had to go and I knew I had to be here by a certain amount of time and literally right before Christmas. I set my dad down and said, I’m leaving.

00:22:47.940 –> 00:22:56.520
Kathy Gruver: Now because I wasn’t gonna leave till the following year. And he goes, Why now, and I said, I gotta go. Now I have to be in California before Christmas, and I arrived in California. On December 21

00:22:56.910 –> 00:23:09.300
Kathy Gruver: And I have not. I haven’t looked back, I knew I had to do that thing and I listened to that urging whether I’m working one on one with a client and I’m urged to ask them a question or urge to say something during a talk. I know there’s a reason behind that.

00:23:10.620 –> 00:23:18.900
Kathy Gruver: Is there a way to other than sitting in meditation. Is there a way to tap more into those are I mean is we ignore them so often.

00:23:19.170 –> 00:23:34.470
Kathy Gruver: And I’ve learned over the years. I need to frickin listen to what it’s saying, even if it sounds ridiculous to me. I mean, I have asked clients questions that makes zero sense to me. But it’s so meaningful to them. And I think tapping into that is truly one of the keys. So, this

00:23:36.270 –> 00:23:37.920
Kathy Gruver: Is it just about sitting and listening.

00:23:39.720 –> 00:23:48.060
Connie Benjamin: I that’s a starting place. So it’s absolutely a starting place there’s more to it. And in my book I actually outlined the four steps to connecting with the divine

00:23:48.360 –> 00:23:53.730
Connie Benjamin: To get inspiration I believe that inspiration leads us to where we want to we need to go and purpose now.

00:23:54.180 –> 00:24:03.930
Connie Benjamin: One of the things that and I do have that purpose discovery session and I’m happy, actually, to give all your listeners for free. You can just get on it and do that. That’s a good starting place.

00:24:04.290 –> 00:24:08.280
Connie Benjamin: But another thing that we can do is actually go into

00:24:08.640 –> 00:24:13.440
Connie Benjamin: We have to understand the process of inspiration, so there’s there’s a couple things to be aware of.

00:24:13.650 –> 00:24:23.790
Connie Benjamin: When we get inspiration. Yes, it’s our Divine Self listening to that. But we also need to understand that it’s a divine source, giving it to us. So, and I share that with you.

00:24:24.300 –> 00:24:34.470
Connie Benjamin: I think that some people that seems. Of course it is. And to some people. That seems no it’s not. But I share that with you because we have to understand there’s something bigger going on.

00:24:34.800 –> 00:24:39.690
Connie Benjamin: And that we can receive that divine inspiration, there’s a two way communication that can happen with the divine

00:24:40.200 –> 00:24:47.070
Connie Benjamin: So when we understand that, then we can begin that conversation. The first thing is to get in a place of

00:24:47.820 –> 00:24:59.760
Connie Benjamin: Quiet in your mind. It doesn’t need to be meditation. It doesn’t need to be anything, you know, sitting on the beach like meditating for an hour. That is not, I don’t have time for that either.

00:25:00.750 –> 00:25:08.520
Connie Benjamin: So it’s just right. It’s just about these quiet moments are we taking quiet moments. Maybe it’s journaling. Maybe it’s it’s whatever it is.

00:25:08.730 –> 00:25:15.570
Connie Benjamin: And are we asking. So this is a first step, the first step is asked, are we asking because if we’re not going to ask. We’re not going to receive it.

00:25:16.290 –> 00:25:28.470
Connie Benjamin: The next step is writing it down. We receiving inspiration from the divine is a divine gift if we receive just like if someone gave gave me a gift. And I said,

00:25:28.890 –> 00:25:34.200
Connie Benjamin: Oh, open up in a year. I’ll open it later, we forget about that gift. It’s a dis honoring of that gift.

00:25:34.680 –> 00:25:45.900
Connie Benjamin: One way that we recognize and honor the gift is we write it down so we can have a remembrance, because I can promise you remember earlier I said that when we’re on a path of purpose.

00:25:46.260 –> 00:25:57.120
Connie Benjamin: We will receive obstacles along our way. And so what happens is we need to understand that when we receive inspiration right after that, if we do not write it down there will be a distraction. Hundred percent

00:25:57.420 –> 00:26:11.640
Connie Benjamin: The kids will come in the phone call will ring, somebody will try and I don’t know say there’s an emergency, you have to deal with. There will be a distraction. So we have not captured that we could spend the next year trying to receive that inspiration again.

00:26:12.690 –> 00:26:24.630
Connie Benjamin: We can sense. And then the third step is action. We have to act on that inspiration. That is one of the biggest ways. So Kathy how you beautifully talked about you got inspiration to go to California.

00:26:25.020 –> 00:26:31.410
Connie Benjamin: You move to California. You did not. You know what it is. You can feel it in your heart in your gut, like it’s a feeling

00:26:31.950 –> 00:26:45.000
Connie Benjamin: And. And then the last thing is to continue that cycle to show gratitude. Sorry. That’s the last step, the fourth step is to show gratitude show gratitude for the divine for giving us at that inspiration. Yeah.

00:26:45.060 –> 00:26:48.960
Kathy Gruver: That’s great. I remember listening to Carolyn mace. I did a bunch of studying with her.

00:26:49.290 –> 00:26:59.280
Kathy Gruver: And she said that you know everybody talks about I want purpose. I want to do this big thing, and everyone’s waiting for this giant thing that they’re to do. And she goes, You guys can’t even do your PT exercises every day.

00:27:00.180 –> 00:27:09.720
Kathy Gruver: Like, how the hell do you think you’re going to do that. The divine is going to give you some giant thing if you can’t take out the trash like how are you showing up to do those small things.

00:27:10.320 –> 00:27:14.850
Kathy Gruver: You know, if you expect the big thing, but you can’t do the small things. So that was interesting. Um, hey,

00:27:16.320 –> 00:27:17.700
Jason Mefford: I know we are

00:27:19.980 –> 00:27:20.340
Kathy Gruver: Surprised

00:27:20.370 –> 00:27:21.540
Jason Mefford: Okay, just kind of sit

00:27:21.690 –> 00:27:21.990
Kathy Gruver: Because

00:27:22.020 –> 00:27:28.290
Jason Mefford: Kind of to go on on to that a little bit, you know, is, is that whole idea if you’re not willing to do the small things.

00:27:28.620 –> 00:27:35.220
Jason Mefford: Then the universe isn’t going to give you the big thing because it’s like you’re not listening. And if you’re not listening that I’m not going to give you anything bigger right

00:27:36.660 –> 00:27:42.660
Jason Mefford: You know, because again, I love those. The kind of these four steps that you were talking about because one of the questions that I was going to have before is

00:27:43.140 –> 00:27:50.760
Jason Mefford: You know, a lot of times I think the monkey brain gets in the way. Right. And people are kind of like, well, is this inspiration or is this just my monkey brain going on right

00:27:51.810 –> 00:28:01.080
Jason Mefford: But the more that we kind of go through and continue this cycle that you’re talking about a quiet your mind. Ask write it down, take some action show gratitude.

00:28:01.710 –> 00:28:11.730
Jason Mefford: And the more that we do this. It’s literally it’s almost like we’re, again, we’re exercising our, our muscles. Our brain muscles, if you will, how to say that right

00:28:12.480 –> 00:28:25.830
Jason Mefford: And so, like you said, Connie. When you got the inspiration I need to move to a new country and six days, you did it right, you didn’t know why. But you did it. And then afterwards you could see that yes, everything worked out.

00:28:26.550 –> 00:28:31.290
Jason Mefford: I mean, you can’t move to a new country in six days, unless it’s supposed to happen. It just doesn’t work.

00:28:31.710 –> 00:28:32.610
Kathy Gruver: Unless you’re fleeing

00:28:32.910 –> 00:28:33.690
Jason Mefford: unless unless you’re

00:28:34.110 –> 00:28:38.280
Jason Mefford: Unless you’re fleeing, for some reason, right, you just have a suitcase in your hand, and that’s it.

00:28:39.120 –> 00:28:51.120
Jason Mefford: So you know that as as we’re trying to develop this or learn more how it actually works, right, is that when we have those good things like, hey, we did it in six days. Cool. Okay, what did I

00:28:51.630 –> 00:28:58.080
Jason Mefford: How did I feel what, how did I get that inspiration, because I think for each of us. And maybe it’s a little bit different, too.

00:28:58.710 –> 00:29:11.010
Jason Mefford: But the more that you kind of practice it and go through these steps that you talked about, then we can become more confident as well that when these things happen even when it’s crazy, you know,

00:29:11.760 –> 00:29:27.810
Jason Mefford: Call your friend send this person text. Ask your client a question that makes absolutely no sense to you, the more that we actually do those things. And then we get that confirmation. Afterwards, the more confident we can be in actually doing. Yeah, I agree.

00:29:27.840 –> 00:29:35.370
Kathy Gruver: I love this. I want to keep talking. But we have to go. Okay. Connie you’ve given us so much amazing information you so totally have to come back. Most definitely.

00:29:35.910 –> 00:29:45.690
Kathy Gruver: Tell everybody where to reach you. I love that you’re offering that free. Tell us about the free set is this full sleeves, like a session as an online thing. What is and then how to reach you.

00:29:46.410 –> 00:29:51.600
Connie Benjamin: Love it. Thank you so much. By the way, this was incredible. You guys are so fun. And I love this conversation.

00:29:52.620 –> 00:30:02.550
Connie Benjamin: So for the purpose discovery session. It is something online. You literally just log on and get it and do the exercise, you just need a pen and a paper and so quiet time

00:30:02.940 –> 00:30:15.540
Connie Benjamin: So that you can get for free. Just go to www.my fire within.com slash purpose. Again, that’s www.my fire then.com slash purpose and

00:30:15.870 –> 00:30:23.310
Connie Benjamin: Just to show you how profound. That is my husband, we’ve been doing personal development for a decade teaching personal development for a decade.

00:30:23.670 –> 00:30:27.480
Connie Benjamin: My husband’s comes to me after I walked him through the process. He says, Connie.

00:30:28.020 –> 00:30:35.280
Connie Benjamin: I’ve been people been trying to help me know my purpose for a decade. And I’ve never felt more clear. I know what it is. I know what it is.

00:30:35.610 –> 00:30:47.370
Connie Benjamin: And so it’s just so powerful and that is constantly the feedback that we’re getting. So that’s a starting place and reach out to me. I want to support you, my, my goal and mission, if in this life.

00:30:47.670 –> 00:30:55.110
Connie Benjamin: Is to support people being lit up, get lit up and reach out to me on Facebook. I’d love to. I’d love to see you there.

00:30:55.860 –> 00:31:00.330
Kathy Gruver: Yay, good. Oh, I’m so excited. This has been phenomenal Jason, you wanna check us out.

00:31:01.080 –> 00:31:07.710
Jason Mefford: Well yeah, I was gonna say. And you know, it’s got to be powerful because if your husband comes to you and tells you that it’s not natural.

00:31:08.040 –> 00:31:09.150
Jason Mefford: Young ladies for

00:31:09.330 –> 00:31:09.600
Jason Mefford: For

00:31:09.810 –> 00:31:11.220
Kathy Gruver: For a man to go to the wife and

00:31:11.220 –> 00:31:16.920
Jason Mefford: Say something like that. So, you know, that’s actually works right when he actually says stuff.

00:31:16.920 –> 00:31:17.370
Connie Benjamin: Like that.

00:31:18.120 –> 00:31:25.170
Jason Mefford: But no, this is, this is, this is great. It’s another way of kind of saying I love the steps I love acronyms to

00:31:25.740 –> 00:31:34.620
Jason Mefford: Is one of the things I love to do is help people learn quicker and actually learn not just getting knowledge, but actually learn acronyms are one of the little hacks.

00:31:35.040 –> 00:31:44.940
Jason Mefford: In learning things quicker because we can keep track of these things easier and it’s remember fire. Fire stands for focus goal incentive responsibility exact time. See, I’ve been taking notes to

00:31:45.330 –> 00:32:00.300
Jason Mefford: Which is another one. But anyway, so, Connie. Thank you for coming on. I really appreciate it and know that this is going to help lots of people out there listening. So with that, though. Kathy’s tailing we gotta, we gotta sign off so

00:32:01.950 –> 00:32:08.010
Kathy Gruver: Oh, I’m Kathy Gruber. I can be reached if you’re gonna go I’m Kathy. Kathy Coover calm.

00:32:08.730 –> 00:32:09.630
Jason Mefford: Jason effort.

00:32:09.690 –> 00:32:11.790
Jason Mefford: I can be reached at Jason method calm.

00:32:12.270 –> 00:32:14.640
Jason Mefford: And I just wanted to do another little pause of silence.

00:32:14.640 –> 00:32:17.220
Jason Mefford: There at the end just to mess with everybody who’s listening.

00:32:18.300 –> 00:32:23.850
Jason Mefford: So everybody go out, have a great week and we will catch you on the next episode of the fire earth podcast see

00:32:24.480 –> 00:32:24.780

Leave a comment