Today we talk about managing stress and internal conflict with Faye Lawand-Maclean.
Faye is an Internal Conflict Resolution Expert who works to help professionals overcome stress and become more productive in their work and daily lives.
So come take a journey with us into learning about our subconscious minds and becoming stress free through seven different strategies.


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Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast, I’m your co host Jason Medford

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kathygruver: And I am Kathy gruver and I am so excited. We have an amazing guest as we always do. And today we’re talking about one of my favorite things stress. Now I know none of you are stressed.

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kathygruver: Good we’ve

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kathygruver: Gotten countless emails stress no stress.

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kathygruver: None of us are stressed, but

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kathygruver: If you happen to be, or if you happen to know someone a friend stressed. I’m saying lawanda is here. She’s gonna be talking about stress and internal conflict, all these great things so Fe. Welcome to the show.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Thank you. It’s so great to be here. Good morning.

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kathygruver: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Good evening. Exactly.

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Jason Mefford: Wherever and whenever you’re listening to.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: It doesn’t matter, time is an illusion.

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kathygruver: Totally. Exactly, exactly. So say tell everybody who you are, what you do, how you got here, that sort of thing. We’ll talk about 25 minutes and

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And you just depress me if I’m rambling. Hello.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: So my name is failing one and I’m based here in gorgeous Auckland, New Zealand, and I work in the area of internal conflict resolution and

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Basically what I do in the field of internal conflict resolution as I worked with stressed out burnout busy professionals.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Who are you know overwhelmed fatigue to stress out, so on and so forth.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And I mentor them to resolve their internal conflict so that they can be more productive feel healthier, happier sleep better, so on and so forth. You know, access those states of magic in themselves, and in their lives and

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: How I came to this work. I mean, you know, when I was 12 and we were going around in circles in a classroom and my teacher asked, What do you want to be when you grow up.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: I have no idea. And I certainly did.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Not know I want to be an internal conflict resolution expert.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Right. Yeah, I’ve heard of that before. What is that

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: What is that, but you know it stemmed from my own personal journey was stress burnout and fatigue and I was born in the Middle East, shortly before the Lebanese Civil War 1975

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And that was, you know, one of the longest bloodiest most drawn out wars that claimed hundreds of thousands of lives and it drove

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Many, many, many more away from the country, and we were one of part of that statistic. We left the country pretty early on in the area of conflict pretty early on I was about five when we left

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And so I grew up thinking and believing the narrative that I heard we left early were unaffected by the war.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And that’s how I lived my life but my life wasn’t reflecting those states of experiences of gratitude.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Life was a struggle. Life was difficult, and it really caught up with them in a very, very real way around the time that I turned 40 around that time.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And very interesting with life crisis and everything was falling apart, then everything my career, my relationships. My relationship with myself was terrible.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And then, and then obviously it was my health, you know, and I got a very, very scary.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Health diagnosis around that time. And that’s really stopped me in my tracks and I knew at that point that I had two choices. Either I continue, you know, the way I was going living life on autopilot having no idea

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: You know, really examining what’s going on and how my choices, my internal traces of my internal reality are contributing to where I am and how I’m feeling.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Or I take a different route, but the thing is, I didn’t obviously I didn’t know what I know. No, I did not to get started. This is the thing.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: You know, I, I knew I needed I needed to do something different. But where do you go because the traditional might what was prescribed then was

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Medication and talk therapy and neither one actually felt right for me. I went to talk therapy and I actually felt worse going round and round and round in circles, talking about the problem. You know, it’s just awful.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And then, you know, that’s the way the universe works. Someone mentioned to me some this thing about the subconscious mind. I had never even heard of the subconscious mind. Can you believe it. I had never heard of the subconscious mind.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: But it makes sense. You know, it’s this, you know, this part of yourself that stores all your emotions and all your memories and it drives your behavior and your reality. I’m like, Oh, this is cool. I want to try it out. So I immediately booked in with a hypnotherapist

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: But you guys when I got there, I was so skeptical. I was so skeptical so many of our clients are when they come to us right and they hypnotherapist

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: She wasn’t interested in talking about my problems like okay just very generally, what do you, what do you want to change in your life and how do you want to feel

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And then she took me back to the very first time that the root cause of the experiences in my life. Currently, and my mind went back

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: To the time when I was about four or five years old and were fleeing the war zone.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And there were missiles overhead and sniper fire in the distance. And like I was a kid, it was nighttime.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: You know, my, my brother was three my younger brother, my little sister was one years old and it was my mom alone because my dad was called outside the country.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And here’s my mom, you know, with three kids fleeing a war zone and kids are crying and she had no idea what to do such just pushed our heads under the seats and I couldn’t breathe and I was choking.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And my subconscious mind, obviously, you know, went into shock my nervous system went into shock into into sympathetic overdrive. And because that was never dealt with it was locked it remained locked in my nervous system and was creating all those imbalances for all those years.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Now the skepticism was will happen, something that happened when I was five have anything to do where I am right now. You know, as a grown woman with my career with my relationships with my with my with my

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: With my interactivity with the public world. But obviously, now I know differently. And then when the skepticism subsided took a few months actually for the skepticism to subside and

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: You know I I then went on to do a lot more of the work and the rest is history. You know, and then when my life when my life healed and improved and really really transformed because it really transformed

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: It kind of felt like the next natural thing to do was to start, you know, sharing it with people and then before you know it, that then that transformed into what I’m doing now. Yeah.

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kathygruver: Well, here’s what I love about the story Fe is because you’d have somebody say you were only five. You don’t even know if that memory was real. You don’t know if that actually

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kathygruver: Happened. I don’t give a full. I don’t care.

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kathygruver: It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what story you make up. This is why when I do past life regression people and they said, oh, I couldn’t have been, you know, a slave in Russia. I’m like makeup whatever story you want your

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kathygruver: Subconscious uses

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Symbols it. Yes.

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kathygruver: Images yet uses numbers and archetypes. That’s how we get to the root of these problems. So I love that. I love that you shared that thank you for sharing that.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Yeah.

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kathygruver: It doesn’t matter if you made it up. I mean, if you

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Don’t mind you know and like why why

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Why did the subconscious mind, hold on to that imprint and not another imprint right and that imprint was creating an emotional charge that was that was doing something that wasn’t to my benefit. Yeah. So yeah, it’s been great.

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kathygruver: I love it. Thank you. Yeah.

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Jason Mefford: Jason, you thought, well, because that because I was gonna say to i mean it’s it’s um

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Jason Mefford: You know, a lot of times we don’t know consciously or we try to figure out consciously. Why, why am I having trouble in this relationship. Why is this falling apart. Why Why Why Why Why right we go crazy asking ourselves why

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Jason Mefford: There’s a reason it’s usually in that subconscious right that would do. And that’s why using some, you know, some of these things that we talked about on the podcast I can build therapy.

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Jason Mefford: Yeah, is one of the ways to be able to access that. And so I think it’s, it’s almost even fitting, you know that you you kind of went from a war zone experience. You know, there when you were four or five to I’m sure your life at 40 probably felt like a war zone to

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Jason Mefford: On the inside, right. And so it’s interesting how that carries forward, you know. And until that block is released.

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Jason Mefford: Yeah, you can’t move on because you just constantly feel like you’re you’re in that zone still

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And the end. And the interesting thing is like I was living you know when we left Lebanon, you know, after a lot of moving around. Eventually I settled down in North America. And I was living in Canada and naturalized Canadian. I mean, you can’t get any more peaceful than a place like Canada.

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kathygruver: Right.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: But yet there was no peace, you know, and this is what I tell all my clients right now. Like, okay, yeah, sure. I was born in an area of conflict. So it’s an obvious.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: conflict situation, but you don’t need to have been born in a conflict to feel lack of peace on the inside and lack of equilibrium on the inside.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: You know, like we all have these things that aren’t resolved on the inside that rob us off internal states of peace and joy and equanimity and equilibrium. Right.

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kathygruver: Well, there’s also this myth that if I only was in a different place. I’d be happy if I only

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kathygruver: Have i’d be happy if oh yeah money, I’d be happy. If only my back work better. I’d be happy and it’s

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Yeah.

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kathygruver: He had that’s the judge. That’s that inner judge the judging that situation. And we have to realize that no matter what is happening outside of ourselves.

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kathygruver: We have to find that peace and happiness and joy inside of ourselves. And that’s a choice, and I agree. I’ve done so much talk therapy and there are so many times you leave going alright well this is the 13th time I’ve talked about my mother. Do we want to get to a resolution on it.

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kathygruver: Like, why am I keeping bring this

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kathygruver: Up if we’re just going to talk around it and not change my inner experience of it.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Yes.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: I mean, you know, there’s definitely a role.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Talk that look there definitely has a lot of benefit. It’s good to understand to have an intellectual understanding and framework of what happened.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: You know, but that’s not going to, that’s not going to resolve your internal experience as we know

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And this is why you know in the work that we do. You know, I have people that come to me. They’ve been to therapists for 40 years and then after we know the power of the subconscious mind. It’s not any magic that we do, per se. It’s we we facilitate

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Our clients to access those internal states of magic because on the other side of the nervous system that isn’t about stress. That’s where the magic lies.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: That’s where the part of ourselves that can do creativity and problem solving and and happiness and joy and bliss and spontaneous healing.

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Jason Mefford: Well, any you use the term you know quite a bit about conflict resolution right and internal conflict resolution, because you know from the business and I was

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Jason Mefford: In politics for a little while, too. But, you know, usually conflict resolution right is, you know, negotiation conflict resolution, either in a business environment.

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Jason Mefford: You know, we’re negotiating a contract when you know negotiating something we’re trying to get the people to come together, or maybe it’s political

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Jason Mefford: Issues right and coming from the Middle East. I mean, there’s been a lot of conflict resolution over the years trying to sort things out. It’s still no

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Jason Mefford: Sorry. Now,

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Failed

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Jason Mefford: Most, most of it failed and

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Now,

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Jason Mefford: Yeah, but so how did, how to you because because when you talk about that from an internal conflict resolution. How does that kind of look how do we

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Jason Mefford: You know. Cuz, cuz I know I’m guessing a lot of other people might be saying, well, I can understand it when it’s like two people doing it right. But how do you do it with yourself.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Right, so you need you need a system, you need a system and a structured approach right and so after my journey of. And this wasn’t my journey didn’t only just involve hypnotherapy

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: It was a delving into all those internal modalities that bring about healing.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And the, the, the practices of yoga. Yoga therapy yoga philosophy, the practices of advice have a data and iris and NLP, of course.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Taoism, so on and so forth. So, you know, I’ve done a lot of study in that area in order to bring you know peace and healing and equilibrium to my life and I’ve

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Kind of like drawn together and then coded everything into a structured step by step approach and there’s seven steps to that internal conflict resolution piece. And I’m very happy to share. I actually have a

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Short video looks about like 13 minutes with a viewing guide and the list that lists out all of the steps and your

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: viewers are very welcome.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Very, very welcome to it and basically the seven steps. I like to think of each step as like an actionable thing that you can do right away.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: To take you from where you are to feeling more like you want to feel. And the first one begins. And you mentioned that earlier. Kathy it’s assuming responsibility, you know, it’s so important to

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Actually say, you know, to declare and claim I want something different, you know, and I’m willing to commit to a different outcome. And I’m willing to commit to

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Whatever it takes for that different for that different outcome because there really are no quick fixes. There is no even though these things allow you to

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: magically transform, but it’s not a magical fix, right, you have to take responsibility for it. Yeah.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: The second, the second step is resetting the nervous system. You know, like this is so important because yes we are born with a part of our mind, the part of our brain that does stress.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: For a reason. But we also equipped with another part of the brain that can do the opposite and help us reset, but

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Where we get into trouble, even though we have a very complex nervous system is we override that part of the nervous system that knows how to restoring reset.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: So super, super important, super important to take time to reset the nervous system and that can look like so many things.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And it doesn’t have to be meditation and it doesn’t have to be yoga, but it needs to be something

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: The other thing is that we need to release the physical tensions from the physical body because you know the mind lives in the body. It doesn’t live between the ears and all we feel

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: You know, when we feel overwhelmed or anxious or when there’s tensions in the mind when we know that the body feels yucky. So sense and constricted and tight and

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: If we’re not doing something regularly to release those tensions from the physical body, they’re going to get trapped, they’re going to get trapped and they’re going to create imbalances in the physical body.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: And when we talk about releasing tensions from the physical body. I mean, that can also take many forms and formats and any type of body work. I’m a big, big

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Fan. And I also teach that in my own work of

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: yin yoga and and she calm, you know, because that’s very good for releasing myofascial you know tensions from fascia myofascial but also the meridians of the body because

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Excuse me, and tapping tapping is another one because, as we know, you know, there’s pressure points in the body that correlate to certain emotional responses.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Excuse me.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: The other one is connecting to resources and by resources. I mean, internal resources and external resources. I mean, we all have

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: inner strength. We all have inner capabilities we all have inner resources that are veiled unexamined untapped into, but we also have resources in our life.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: That can really be quite powerful and really quite uplifting, but we need to spend time to harness those cultivate those and connect to them because

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: A connected brain when your brain and your nervous system are in a zone of connection we know it can’t do the problem behavior. Yeah, because it’s just it’s a totally opposite branch of the nervous system. So the more you can practice connection.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: The more you move away from those troubling states of internal conflict. Yeah.

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kathygruver: Yeah, I just have to jump in on that one.

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kathygruver: I think part of the

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kathygruver: Part of it is spending time in those resources.

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kathygruver: Yeah, it’s like I kind of picture.

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kathygruver: Let lamp National Lampoon’s vacation is one of my favorite silly movies and he’s rushing through the country and he’s trying to see everything and they get to the Grand Canyon. He goes, beautiful, and he goes to get back in the car.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: I

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kathygruver: You have to

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: You have her

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kathygruver: I’m in that resource. You can’t be

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kathygruver: Like okay, and did that one. Okay, you know,

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: I ended do that. Yeah.

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kathygruver: Okay, yeah, but it’s like you have to sit in that resource and actually be in that state for a second.

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kathygruver: Yes. What a drive by resource so

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: No, no, no, no. Because, because, really, the more you spend time in that resource, the more you’re creating new neural circuitry for that resource. So you’re retraining your brain to be that feeling that you want to feel

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: At super, super, super important. And so, the other one is, excuse me, related to stress differently now this is huge.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: This is huge because we have been conditioned to believe and I was one of those people as well. Until recently, we were conditioned to believe that stress is a killer and all stress is bad for you. But that’s not true.

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: That is not true now with the new science of stress that’s come out actually of Stanford University and the work of Kelly McGonigal we know that there’s more than one stress response and all the new stress responses actually service fuel, you know, at the challenge response gives us

00:17:51.000 –> 00:18:04.980
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Potential to like focus and concentrate at peak performance, you know, right before something that really big that happens of course you feel stressed, but if you can harness it, you can actually reap a lot of benefit peak performance big productivity. So

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Isn’t for like the work that you do with the executive with the executives that you do that piece off related to stress differently can actually be quite life changing because

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Faye Lawand-Maclean: Your psychology can change your physiology is what this new size of stress is telling us

00:18:21.210 –> 00:18:33.990
Faye Lawand-Maclean: That when you change your mindset about how you’re relating to stress, you can actually access unique biochemical profiles that correlate to certain unique coping strategies are extremely resourceful.

00:18:34.290 –> 00:18:42.120
Faye Lawand-Maclean: But the key is the mindset, right, if you keep going around saying all stress is bad, that are that well, you’re going to cut yourself off from those resources.

00:18:42.390 –> 00:18:53.310
Faye Lawand-Maclean: And create additional stress for yourself. Because yes, life is stressful and and and it’s not going to go away but but not all stress needs to be bad. So a big part of the work that I do is around teaching

00:18:54.180 –> 00:19:08.550
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Clients to relate to stress differently. And the other one is resolving internal conflicts. Now that looks like basically internal conflict is anything on the inside, that’s blocking you from

00:19:09.420 –> 00:19:22.830
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Having what you want on the outside. So of course it’s past experiences. It’s also things like negative outdated programs of thinking it’s limiting beliefs. It’s your values if your values are not in line with

00:19:23.340 –> 00:19:32.310
Faye Lawand-Maclean: The way you’re living your life and it’s phobias. It’s fears, it’s, it’s all of that stuff that internal stuff that that that gets in the way.

00:19:33.690 –> 00:19:36.360
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Is that seven I saw that you were writing down, Jason.

00:19:36.420 –> 00:19:37.920
kathygruver: As that said, I’ve got, I’ve got

00:19:37.980 –> 00:19:38.580

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Jason Mefford: All right, so

00:19:42.750 –> 00:19:48.330
Jason Mefford: The one, the ones that I had assumed responsibility. Yes. Right. Reset your nervous system.

00:19:48.420 –> 00:19:48.930
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Yeah yeah

00:19:49.020 –> 00:19:50.460
Jason Mefford: Least the physical tension.

00:19:50.790 –> 00:19:52.740
Jason Mefford: Yes, connect to resources.

00:19:52.860 –> 00:19:59.280
Jason Mefford: Yes, relate to stress differently. Yeah, and resolve internal conflict. Yes.

00:20:00.120 –> 00:20:03.960
kathygruver: I had lost the physical one. But okay, I thought that was under reset the nervous system.

00:20:04.020 –> 00:20:05.610
Jason Mefford: Let’s Get Physical

00:20:09.930 –> 00:20:12.750
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Talk about this every day. I’m drawing. I’m doing. I’m Dr.

00:20:12.810 –> 00:20:16.950
Jason Mefford: No worries. We will will will will put a link to the video to so we can be

00:20:17.430 –> 00:20:17.790
Jason Mefford: Sure to

00:20:17.850 –> 00:20:19.680
kathygruver: Order. So I get that, too. Yeah.

00:20:20.880 –> 00:20:24.900
Faye Lawand-Maclean: And and you. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Next question.

00:20:26.430 –> 00:20:34.350
kathygruver: No, it’s great, though. Yeah, I’ve got list of things to where it’s like a little bit Jason and talking about the internal conflict aspect of this. It’s the ego states. It’s what my

00:20:34.350 –> 00:20:46.740
kathygruver: Condo talked about. It’s what you and I have talked about. It’s that, you know, one part of you wants to, to lay down and sleep. And the other part of us like no, no, no, no, you have to work right now, you have to work right now and you know you know as well as I do. Stress is a perception.

00:20:46.980 –> 00:20:48.300
kathygruver: I do flying trapeze.

00:20:48.510 –> 00:20:57.810
kathygruver: People think that’s terrifying. I think it’s the most relaxing fun thing in the world. So stresses that perception and we all have a different hardiness for stress. We all have a different idea of stress.

00:20:57.870 –> 00:20:58.080
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Yeah.

00:20:58.110 –> 00:21:08.100
kathygruver: And I remember a client, she called me in a panic. She’s like, I’m getting ready to leave on a trip of can I do 15 minutes earlier. It really helped me and I went okay so she shows up 15 minutes earlier.

00:21:08.760 –> 00:21:21.930
kathygruver: She’s clearly stressed. She’s a basket case I finally, you know, she’s like Oh, thank you so much for changing this. I just have so much to do with it, she was freaking out. And I said, when’s your trip thinking, holy shit. She’s got a rush to the airport right now, next Wednesday.

00:21:22.230 –> 00:21:23.280
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Oh my god.

00:21:24.660 –> 00:21:25.410
Jason Mefford: A basket case.

00:21:25.470 –> 00:21:25.890
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Oh,

00:21:25.950 –> 00:21:37.650
kathygruver: My God, but for some reason that for some reason that that triggered her stress and me. I’m so used to traveling. I mean, last year at this time I did seven talks in five cities and seven days.

00:21:38.070 –> 00:21:48.990
kathygruver: That’s a dream come true for me, she was leaving next week and was freaking the hell out and it was just, which also allows us to be more patient because we understand that people find different things stressful. So it’s not only

00:21:48.990 –> 00:21:52.530
kathygruver: About recognizing our own stress. It’s recognizing stress and others and going

00:21:52.740 –> 00:21:53.340
kathygruver: Yes.

00:21:53.400 –> 00:21:54.630
For some reason, don’t get

00:21:55.710 –> 00:22:06.270
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Freaking out. And it’s obviously based on their model of the world and their wiring and their, their filters and so on and so forth. And speaking of filters and biases. Now I got the next one which is

00:22:06.750 –> 00:22:22.860
Faye Lawand-Maclean: A huge piece. It’s keeping the negativity bias in check. Yeah, this is massive and that that piece is huge and it’s not just like you know teaching reframing which is very important, but but but a big piece of that is actually

00:22:24.240 –> 00:22:28.650
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Reef shaping relationship with technology. This is so big.

00:22:29.070 –> 00:22:38.370
Faye Lawand-Maclean: You know, and I have a lot of young kids that come to see me as well young professional starting up their lives, you know, and that over connectivity with social media and

00:22:38.700 –> 00:22:44.100
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Technology, it’s not. I mean, we were not designed to live that way our brains were not designed

00:22:44.460 –> 00:22:54.540
Faye Lawand-Maclean: To live with that type of bombardment wasn’t, it wasn’t so you know and and and how do you offset the negativity bias because you’re not going to override it. It’s part of

00:22:54.810 –> 00:23:04.260
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Our internal design and it’s there for a reason. But you, we need to find ways to manage the negativity bias. And that’s a big part of the internal conflict resolution because

00:23:04.530 –> 00:23:18.660
Faye Lawand-Maclean: That, by default, that the mind is going to do this and if we keep listening, like I had been for 40 years and you’re going to believe everything that you hear. And because our mind and our body are interconnected. You’re going to feel that negativity in your body. Yeah.

00:23:19.230 –> 00:23:26.580
kathygruver: Yeah, well it’s like we have that negativity for a reason we touch the stove and go oh geez, and you put your head away. You don’t keep it there.

00:23:26.760 –> 00:23:27.210

00:23:30.150 –> 00:23:32.850
Jason Mefford: smell burning flesh was really burning flesh.

00:23:33.540 –> 00:23:34.500
kathygruver: Like that barbecue.

00:23:34.710 –> 00:23:34.980
Jason Mefford: You know,

00:23:35.070 –> 00:23:41.280
kathygruver: And and that’s what that negative emotion is for. So are we in that judge which is going to keep pounding us keeping that hand on the stove.

00:23:41.550 –> 00:23:53.760
kathygruver: Or is it that discernment of I screwed that up. Let’s fix this for next time. Let’s take an opportunity out of this, what we deem as a stressful thing as opposed to just holding our hand on the stove and sitting in those negative emotions. They’re there as a

00:23:54.300 –> 00:23:58.620
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Feeling sorry for ourselves. And then the problem is the stove. Right. Or, you know,

00:23:58.680 –> 00:24:01.080
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Or the problem is I have a problem.

00:24:01.290 –> 00:24:08.640
Faye Lawand-Maclean: But Kathy. But the thing is, you know, we were not talking i don’t i i have to learn this stuff for myself. Like, we’re not teaching this stuff.

00:24:08.970 –> 00:24:16.470
Faye Lawand-Maclean: This stuff is not like I have a dream. You know, my background is in education. I was an educator and a teacher trainer before I came to do this work.

00:24:16.830 –> 00:24:32.460
Faye Lawand-Maclean: And now I think back to the times all those problem kids that I worked with all the problems situations I had in my career in education. If I knew what I now know that would have played out so differently so so differently. Yeah.

00:24:32.640 –> 00:24:40.350
kathygruver: Always so once again we’re wrapping out of time because this is what we do because so fast. I love this. I could have this conversation all day because

00:24:40.350 –> 00:24:41.550
Faye Lawand-Maclean: My wife like

00:24:42.750 –> 00:24:43.260
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Any other

00:24:43.500 –> 00:24:45.930
Faye Lawand-Maclean: We can chat any other time you get your like you guys

00:24:45.990 –> 00:24:53.820
kathygruver: Oh yeah, we’re gonna have to have you back, especially the education component of that because that’s, that’s very fascinating. I’m Jason. Anything you want to say. And then they will talk about how people can reach you.

00:24:54.480 –> 00:25:03.900
Jason Mefford: Well, I think it’s great. I mean, there’s, you know, if you didn’t get them all down to begin with, rewind and go through, but there’s these, these are seven. Great.

00:25:05.100 –> 00:25:08.790
Jason Mefford: Things and kind of this model that you’ve put together for us to think about

00:25:10.200 –> 00:25:14.850
Jason Mefford: You know, and the one that really kind of stuck out to me. So I gotta go download that Stanford Research

00:25:15.330 –> 00:25:24.390
Jason Mefford: Is, you know, relating to stress differently because because when I think about, you know, like it with athletes and the peak performance side of it. You do you channel those emotions in a certain

00:25:24.480 –> 00:25:33.690
Jason Mefford: Hey yeah in realize, well, yeah. Is it going to be a little bit stressful to run the hundred meter in the in the world Olympics. Of course it is. But you channel that

00:25:34.860 –> 00:25:39.330
Jason Mefford: In your performance side of it. So great little thing that I hadn’t

00:25:40.650 –> 00:25:42.450
Jason Mefford: hadn’t quite thought of why

00:25:43.770 –> 00:25:44.820
Faye Lawand-Maclean: I’m so pleased

00:25:45.030 –> 00:25:57.630
Faye Lawand-Maclean: And I’m actually offering a course just on that the new science of stress relief that’s based on that. And it’s a six week live online course if you’re interested. I’d love to have you along and your listeners and

00:25:58.050 –> 00:26:09.090
Faye Lawand-Maclean: So there’s so I’m building a landing page as we speak and but you can. In the meantime, you can find information on the event right and my Facebook page and

00:26:09.570 –> 00:26:23.880
Faye Lawand-Maclean: My Instagram page just my name failure wand and I’m very happy for to extend a discount to you and your listeners for that course. It begins on third of the little first Thursday, November, whatever that is the fourth or

00:26:24.420 –> 00:26:37.110
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Whatever that that first that first Thursday off in November and it’s basically I’ve basically taken everything around the new sciences of stress, not just from Stanford University, but also from Dr. Libby Weaver and

00:26:37.470 –> 00:26:46.470
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Other modalities and I’ve packaged it into a program that helps you to transform stress, not just manage it, because that’s the key. It’s transforming it

00:26:46.530 –> 00:26:47.130
Jason Mefford: Yeah yeah

00:26:47.370 –> 00:26:48.090
Faye Lawand-Maclean: Yeah, totally.

00:26:48.240 –> 00:26:49.200
kathygruver: Totally beautiful

00:26:49.230 –> 00:26:50.010
kathygruver: You know, it’s

00:26:51.180 –> 00:26:54.480
kathygruver: lookup failed lawanda on Facebook, Instagram,

00:26:54.540 –> 00:26:56.100
Faye Lawand-Maclean: All that makes 10 as well.

00:26:56.790 –> 00:27:00.600
kathygruver: Beautiful, beautiful all those good things. Hey, it was such a joy to have you on

00:27:01.800 –> 00:27:03.690
Faye Lawand-Maclean: The chat. I have you guys. Thank you.

00:27:03.690 –> 00:27:11.280
Faye Lawand-Maclean: So much for having me. Of course, for coming on. Yeah. So great, and have a wonderful lab California and day

00:27:11.580 –> 00:27:12.690
kathygruver: We will thank you.

00:27:13.080 –> 00:27:14.910
Jason Mefford: Beautiful and sunny in California.

00:27:14.910 –> 00:27:15.720

00:27:19.980 –> 00:27:20.100
kathygruver: Hi.

00:27:21.240 –> 00:27:23.940
kathygruver: I’m Cathy Gruber. I can be reached at Kathy Gruber calm.

00:27:24.210 –> 00:27:37.950
Jason Mefford: And I’m Jason method I can be reached at Jason method calm, so go out, have a great week start reducing some of that internal conflict and we’ll catch you on a future episode of the fire and roof podcast. So, yeah.

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