With adult responsibilities, bills to pay, jobs to commute to and children to raise, sometimes we forget to have fun and actually PLAY!
Today’s episode will be about getting in touch with a very under-nurtured ego state: the child!
So lets relax and grow together as we get in touch with our inner child.

Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/fireandearthpodcast/


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Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast i’m your co host Jason method.

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Kathy Gruver: And I am Kathy gruver and i’m so excited about this episode today because we’re talking about one of my favorite things play.

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Jason Mefford: play and wants to talk about that.

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Kathy Gruver: We all should it’s so important, it.

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Jason Mefford: helps us regenerate our brain it helps decrease stress it helps us get in touch with an ego state that often so forgotten as we’re an adult so I just i’m so excited to talk about this.

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Jason Mefford: Well, it does, because I think there’s there’s a saying that I try to remind myself of all work and no play makes Jason a very boring boy right.

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Jason Mefford: And in a lot of times, again, I mean we get to be adults we’ve got responsibilities we’ve got a job we’ve got businesses to run with taxes to pay, whatever it is right.

00:00:50.970 –> 00:00:53.190
Jason Mefford: That we end up forgetting.

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Jason Mefford: To be childlike and to fire right and I remember, I think it was Picasso it says something to this effect of.

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Jason Mefford: You know, because his his paintings and everything were so childlike and his point was the whole point of being an artist is to try to tap into that and began in be like a child again.

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Jason Mefford: Right and so that’s kind of what we’re talking about one of the ways to do that is play.

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Kathy Gruver: yay well, and you know we are multiplicity beings we have different aspects.

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Kathy Gruver: of ourselves, and you know we’ve talked so much about ego states Mike mendell talked about ego states, you and I just had a whole episode on ego states.

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Kathy Gruver: If you aren’t familiar with that go listen to that episode it’s basically saying that we have these different aspects of our personality and one of them is little kid.

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Kathy Gruver: And that part of ourselves, has to be nurtured, especially if it was scared or if it felt abandoned back when we were a child it’s important to let that part out to play.

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Kathy Gruver: And it was a couple weeks ago and I texted my boyfriend and we talked about ego States all the time, so we he’s very familiar with this language.

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Kathy Gruver: And I texted him, it was a Monday and I said I just need to acknowledge that my little kid really feels neglected.

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Kathy Gruver: She really feels like she wants to come out and play and we’ve been doing way too much adult and i’m in the middle of a rifai i’m in the middle of buying out my extra mark condo i’m in the middle, you know all this adult stuff.

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Kathy Gruver: And so, he wrote back i’ve got to taking care of him, so I get home that night and he says so we’re gonna have dinner, I went okay we’re gonna finish watching one episode of this thing we were watching he goes and then.

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Jason Mefford: we’re gonna get played.

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Kathy Gruver: Because we have this so we pulled out the Plato.

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Kathy Gruver: And we sat at the table and I made a mess and we just made my stuff look like shit and it didn’t matter, I made a cat that looks so horrible.

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Kathy Gruver: He was really good dog, it was really a minute wrap I don’t know what he did.

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Kathy Gruver: He was much better than me but it wasn’t about that it was about just playing, and you, we were just we’ve made these things, and then we pulled up glow sticks and then we made stuff with the glow sticks and the Plato and then we took to.

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Kathy Gruver: turn the lights off and we made loops with the glow sticks and we throw around the room and we just we had so much fun.

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Kathy Gruver: And it just it completely regenerated me it completely decrease my stress for that hour hour and a half, I forgot about all that adult thing that I had to do.

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Kathy Gruver: It was so much fun and I love that i’m in a partnership with someone who can bring those aspects out in me find someone you can play with.

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Jason Mefford: yeah well and it’s it’s interesting because you know when you when you think about I do a lot with teaching people how to learn as well right so.

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Jason Mefford: So why do you suppose that kids learn so quickly, why kids develop so quickly part of the reason is their curiosity.

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Jason Mefford: And their play right and so again, I mean you think about you know i’ve got four kids from one marriage to from another I so i’ve had lots of kids that i’ve observed my own and other kids as well right.

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Jason Mefford: Well, why do kids play House well kids play house to learn how to be an adult right.

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Jason Mefford: And so, even the more fun, we have as we’re learning the more curious, we are in life in general right, the more we’re going to learn, but we also said, I mean just what you, you know what you just talked about there with the Plato and the glow sticks for an hour and a half.

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Jason Mefford: You were mindful, you were in the present for that hour and a half as well, so play can also help us just forget about everything else and.

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Jason Mefford: Just focus in on what it is that we’re doing at that time, which is playing.

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Jason Mefford: yeah pressing in playing also moves us up in the emotional scale.

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Kathy Gruver: yeah it totally does and it’s just it’s just so regenerating.

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Kathy Gruver: I mean, it was the best vacation I mean it was just this it was just a complete break from stress and the other thing that can get first for us capricorn and us, you know i’m capricorn and the ego state sense, not the.

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Kathy Gruver: zodiac sense but, for you know we are so used to having to be serious and adult and not screw around and not play make sure your judge doesn’t come in.

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Kathy Gruver: Because I did have that problem like I did this cat and I went oh that’s terrible it was awful years look so much better than me not playing at that point.

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Kathy Gruver: Tell the judge to go away.

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Jason Mefford: go away.

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Kathy Gruver: it’s not about doing it right it’s just about doing it color outside the frickin lines you know and that’s where sometimes like dance class, for me, is still play, but it’s also very competitive, for me, because I want to get it right.

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Kathy Gruver: You know, there are times, where once I have the routine down i’m just dancing to the music and not thinking about making it look good.

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Kathy Gruver: So you know, make sure your play stays play it’s great if you’re doing a dodgeball game, except if you become so competitive, you have to win it’s no longer play at that point, it becomes a task so you know, make sure you keep all the other egos dates out and just play for a while.

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Jason Mefford: Well there’s a lot of different ways to play as well right, and so I mean again, you can you can literally do like some really kitty things like playing with Plato and glowsticks great right going outside and playing with lizards or whatever right okay oh you got bubbles as well.

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Jason Mefford: But you know, this time of the year, we have a lot of a lot of people in our families birthdays around the.

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Jason Mefford: same time so last night.

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Jason Mefford: Excuse me, we were actually playing games right as as part of it, and so again, you know, whatever whatever you like cards against humanity well that’s gonna be fun that gets your play in right.

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Kathy Gruver: Because it’s.

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Jason Mefford: One of my one of my friends calls it it’s bullshit in the box, you can sell bullshit in the box.

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Jason Mefford: I love.

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Jason Mefford: I love you it’s a great game right we did this other one, I think.

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Jason Mefford: Let me my wife bought one called beat that or something like that, where it’s all these different little things like last night, we had to use chopsticks to pick up dice and stack the dice or we had you know you have to that cups, but you can only use your elbows to move the cups.

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Kathy Gruver: Right love stuff like that.

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Jason Mefford: Oh it’s all just like silly little stuff but, again, it it gets us away from whatever else we’re doing it allows us to play.

00:07:14.790 –> 00:07:26.550
Jason Mefford: Usually you’re gonna laugh when you’re playing that reduce releases all those different you know chemicals in your body as well and it moves you up the the the emotional scale.

00:07:26.730 –> 00:07:31.770
Jason Mefford: Right so again if you’re if you’re feeling down a little bit or you know, like you were you were saying.

00:07:33.510 –> 00:07:41.070
Jason Mefford: Yesterday, or whatever it was right my little girl needs to come out you were realizing you you acknowledged and realized, you were feeling kind of heavy.

00:07:41.460 –> 00:07:44.160
Jason Mefford: i’ve been too much of an adult I need to be a little kid.

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Jason Mefford: For an hour and a half and the difference that that made for you.

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Kathy Gruver: Well, and I was telling you before we got on the air I just did a really great workshop through.

00:07:53.400 –> 00:08:02.460
Kathy Gruver: The International coaching federation, and it was and I forget the man’s name I apologize, but he did a talk on stress and resilience.

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Kathy Gruver: And he was talking about things that are a brain drain versus a brain game, and one of the things that was a brain game was kids mainly because of the play, they are also a brain drain, so they were in both.

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Kathy Gruver: categories.

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Kathy Gruver: But he was talking about how you know playing.

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Kathy Gruver: You know changes are changing our brain function, we use a different part of our brain and it actually one of those ways to regenerate.

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Kathy Gruver: And he was talking about how you know we’re really only made to work for 90 to 120 minutes before our brain just goes i’m out so if you can stop and play you know play with dice or play with bubbles, or you know we’ve done our what’s on our desk thing.

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Kathy Gruver: And both of us have so many things that are just sort of kid like and playful.

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Kathy Gruver: So it’s like you know your brain needs it you’re not going to be as productive if you just try to power through so you must will take a break and play with something fun yeah we’ve got a rubber ball that occasionally we bounce around the House we’ve got.

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Jason Mefford: Oh, I love these things.

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Kathy Gruver: We have the we have so much stuff to play, we have the rubber balls which is great except when you bang them.

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Jason Mefford: They will they light up to.

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Kathy Gruver: So you know we’ll throw these back and forth in the dark and we just have so much fun and it doesn’t have to be a long thing it doesn’t have to take some huge huge investment of money.

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Kathy Gruver: It does just have to be something that gets you out of yourself that takes you out of that adult thing.

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Kathy Gruver: Because we do so much of that and, especially, like we don’t have kids so we don’t get to get down on the floor and play legos or play matchbox cars or those things we have to create that for ourselves.

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Kathy Gruver: And as the kids get older I know you’re probably not down on the floor with your son.

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Jason Mefford: Because they’re all gone they’re out of the House.

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Jason Mefford: And they come over we’ll play games, you know, maybe kind of thing yeah it’s.

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Kathy Gruver: yeah so figure out what and I love what you said about you know board games can be great or there’s so many so many games, now that aren’t you know we have what monopoly clue in life when we were kids.

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Kathy Gruver: Now there’s all these like.

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Kathy Gruver: Excuse me like interactive games, where you know, like pictionary and it was what used to be called like clay clay something where you had to sculpt it, it was.

00:09:59.400 –> 00:10:00.480
Jason Mefford: In scope written.

00:10:00.720 –> 00:10:05.670
Kathy Gruver: Plato and it was pictionary but you had to sculpt stuff and everything look like a penis That was the answer to everything.

00:10:06.900 –> 00:10:14.730
Kathy Gruver: Because we’re playing we’re getting goofy and you know kids like to laugh about farts and poop and you know so it’s like just get silly tell jokes to think tell jokes just laugh.

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Jason Mefford: Well, and it’s funny too, because, as you know, a lot of times.

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Jason Mefford: When we’re in our adult ego state.

00:10:23.370 –> 00:10:30.090
Jason Mefford: You know, we say things like you were talking about your judge you judge came in and said oh that cat wasn’t very good right.

00:10:30.720 –> 00:10:42.570
Jason Mefford: And and in really play and play as a way of taking time for ourselves as well okay so it’s it’s a bit of self love self care.

00:10:43.320 –> 00:11:04.710
Jason Mefford: In doing that, and like you said you know, taking a half an hour to do something that is non adult non productive non business related will charge you up and you’ll get more done when you go back then, if you try to power through I mean again there’s lots of studies done on productivity.

00:11:05.430 –> 00:11:10.290
Jason Mefford: On this, you know yeah it’s it’s anywhere from it kind of varies between 20.

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Jason Mefford: To 120 minutes you need to take breaks in there right we’ve talked about taking breaks before yeah in earlier podcast but yeah, why not do some things that you know, make it fun for you put on some music and dance around.

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Jason Mefford: For five minutes you know.

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Jason Mefford: You know, pull out the Plato, the rubik’s cube you know i’ve got a Ruby whatever whatever it is that works for you just take some time to play.

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Kathy Gruver: Oh, is this you or maybe it’s a silly costume you know I love, because I was a theater person I still have bins of costumes people still to this day call me and go, do you have a blah blah blah and nine times out of 10 I have it, do you have a magic wand, of course, I do, I mean come on.

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Jason Mefford: You know and tonight beside costume business for Halloween like.

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Kathy Gruver: I know seriously I have so many costumes people always call me for that, but it’s like to me it’s.

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Kathy Gruver: fun and there was one night.

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Kathy Gruver: We just pulled out all the costumes and just dressed up in the House and, just like to play dress up like kids do.

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Kathy Gruver: You know it’s just it’s so freeing and it’s I love that I have a partner that I can do that with.

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Kathy Gruver: And that we’re both we’re both only children we both grew up just sitting around talking to ourselves, so now we get to talk to ourselves with another person and just go back to that playfulness and.

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Kathy Gruver: You know it’s just it’s so it has to be whatever works for you, if you’re not into putting in costumes and being goofy around the House don’t pick that one.

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Kathy Gruver: You know, make sure it’s something that you resonate with maybe it is Plato, you know, think about what you got to do as a kid and you know bubbles you can’t help a giggle when there’s bubbles in the room, I mean it’s just you just can’t help it it’s the greatest thing ever so.

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Jason Mefford: Well, and even I mean even watching a funny movie.

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Jason Mefford: yeah right it’s a form of play, because again it’s going to be you’re going to be laughing you’re going to be doing other stuff but you know.

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Jason Mefford: there’s even some other other things like you know, as it was all the rage for a little while the adult coloring books.

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Jason Mefford: You know, because it was the same thing, it was you know your coloring within the lines you’re making a piece of art, but but you’re still focusing on and being mindful in that particular moment of what you’re doing focusing on that it’s a creative outlet and it’s fun or it’s relaxing.

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Jason Mefford: Right so again as you’re thinking about play.

00:13:20.940 –> 00:13:34.410
Jason Mefford: Think about ways that you can either you know get yourself all excited and start laughing and being goofy or maybe other ways, because another way of play is kind of calming and piecing yourself out to a little bit.

00:13:34.410 –> 00:13:40.980
Jason Mefford: Sure, and both of those actually serve you in you know releasing whatever’s going on.

00:13:41.130 –> 00:13:45.570
Jason Mefford: release the ego state just be in that other state for a little while.

00:13:45.900 –> 00:13:51.990
Jason Mefford: And then, when you go back you’re going to be more charged I love that brain drain versus brain gain activities.

00:13:52.380 –> 00:13:56.130
Jason Mefford: And more brain gain activities you engage in.

00:13:57.450 –> 00:13:58.680
Jason Mefford: The better your life is going to be.

00:13:59.010 –> 00:14:03.150
Kathy Gruver: yeah absolutely and maybe it’s a puzzle maybe it’s paint by number, you know, whatever works for you.

00:14:03.330 –> 00:14:03.720
Jason Mefford: You know.

00:14:05.340 –> 00:14:06.870
Kathy Gruver: I don’t want to go to work now, I want to play.

00:14:08.130 –> 00:14:10.050
Jason Mefford: You got some Plato right there you might as well pick it up and.

00:14:10.050 –> 00:14:11.550
Kathy Gruver: start saying oh.

00:14:11.820 –> 00:14:14.040
Kathy Gruver: I know i’m gonna play with the bubbles bubbles in the cat.

00:14:14.850 –> 00:14:17.580
Jason Mefford: yeah well it’s like the cat wants to play today anyway so.

00:14:20.100 –> 00:14:21.510
Kathy Gruver: Thanks i’m out of that ego state now.

00:14:21.570 –> 00:14:22.110
Jason Mefford: yeah okay.

00:14:23.340 –> 00:14:24.270
Kathy Gruver: There goes a little kid.

00:14:26.160 –> 00:14:35.040
Kathy Gruver: I think this is great, and we do there’s not a lot of deep information here for everybody, but you know if this gives you permission to go be goofy for a second or silly or make faces in the mirror just go and do that thing.

00:14:35.250 –> 00:14:46.260
Kathy Gruver: Just be free, have a great day work some plan encourage other people to play this is why I love magic you know watch some magic shows on TV or something, and you know just be in that moment be present.

00:14:46.830 –> 00:14:54.390
Jason Mefford: That curiosity that sense of awareness of amazement and wonder that is so childlike yeah.

00:14:54.900 –> 00:15:04.500
Kathy Gruver: Exactly cool all right, everybody go out and play, let us know how it goes, you can always email us or or leave notes in the you know, like leave reviews on our show and tell us how your play went today so.

00:15:04.590 –> 00:15:07.200
Kathy Gruver: i’m Kathy gruver I can be reached at Kathy Griffin calm.

00:15:07.590 –> 00:15:17.670
Jason Mefford: And i’m Jason effort, I can be reached at Jason method calm so go out play have fun blow some bubbles do whatever whatever relates to you.

00:15:18.450 –> 00:15:22.560
Jason Mefford: And we’ll catch you on the next episode of the fire and earth podcast see ya.

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