Research has shown a strong correlation to what we feel in our bodies and our mind and emotions. Ever been guilty of saying you have a pain in your neck? Often we find out someone or something is the cause of our pain in our neck.
In this #fireandearthpodcast episode we jump into how some of the words that have made our way into language like “pain in the neck,” “pissed off,” etc… actually have something to do with deep set emotions we are feel that get suppressed and stuffed down only to show up as physical symptoms. When we confront and release the emotion often our physical pain goes away.
The Fire and Earth Podcast gives you practical advice and keys to unlocking your potential in life and business, hosted by Dr. Kathy Gruver and Jason Mefford. Real, raw and unscripted.
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Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast, I’m your co host Jason Medford
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Kathy Gruver: And I’m Kathy gruver and I’m sure we’ve all had an experience, Jason. If you’re anything like me, where we’re like, oh gosh, I have a pain in my neck or have a pain in my butt or I
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Kathy Gruver: Have this uneasy feeling in my stomach like I can’t stomach. This or like someone getting under my skin or I have to
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Kathy Gruver: Put that you know the good foot forward or whatever it is. We’ve all had these experiences and we have, I figured out for one of my books like 80 something
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Kathy Gruver: Phrases like pain in the neck pain in the butt. I can’t stomach this weight of the world on my shoulders. There’s a lot of phrases like that that connect a mind in the body. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today.
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Jason Mefford: Well, and I think it’s fascinating because like you said, you know, it’s, it’s, and I’m sure you’ll you’ll talk a little bit about this, but the pain in the neck one I’ve heard this so many times. Right.
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Jason Mefford: If somebody comes in, they’re complaining about pain in the neck and I’ve had this pain in my neck for so long. And then it’s like, well, Who or What Is the pain in your neck.
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Jason Mefford: And so you figure it out. And boom, the pain in your neck is gone, right, because because will
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Jason Mefford: You know, I think we’re pulling some different things. You’ve obviously done a lot of work on this written books on it.
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Jason Mefford: before we started recording. We were talking about Dr Sarno so we’ll probably pull him in a little bit, because you know I’ve, I’ve always had different back pain right and it’s pretty common for people to have back pain.
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Jason Mefford: It’s usually nothing physical. But it’s again it’s this mind body connection. And there’s different places in our body where we hold things and everybody’s different. For me, it’s usually in my back.
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Jason Mefford: Sometimes in my neck but
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Jason Mefford: Usually there’s about two or three places in my back where I feel it.
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Jason Mefford: And those of you listening. You may be the same way. Right. You feel certain places in your body. And, you know, they may become kind of a little bit chronic so we’ll go through and talk a little bit about this and maybe some ways of how you can actually release.
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Jason Mefford: Some of these things.
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah. Gosh, so many stories about that. So the very first one that actually sort of turned me on to this mind body medicine medicine.
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Kathy Gruver: The mind body medicine thing.
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Kathy Gruver: It’s early folks.
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Kathy Gruver: So I had always been into Louise hay and her little blue book where she had these correspondences of
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Kathy Gruver: What was happening in your body and what emotions went with that. I wish I had her book close by, because it is
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Kathy Gruver: such powerful stuff. And I remember even in college flipping through that. Like, I literally circled all the weird things that I had happened.
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Kathy Gruver: And looked at the correspondence and literally every single one. I went. Yep. Lungs asthma grief. Yep. This and the data that I saw. I had a client in my office.
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Kathy Gruver: She was coming for weekly massage. She had carpal tunnel like symptoms. She was not diagnosed with carpal tunnel, but she was clearly having problems.
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Kathy Gruver: This woman so wanted to get better. She was taking her anti inflammatory she was getting massage every week she was doing her stretches she changed her workstation. She was wearing the brace at night. I mean, like she was doing everything right physically
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Kathy Gruver: And after about the third week I was making no headway with her at all. And it was driving me crazy.
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Kathy Gruver: I was all admit taking a little too much responsibility for her healing. It’s like I felt like I could fix her which as a therapist. We can’t do, but
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Kathy Gruver: I was young so I finally I’m working on her arm. And I said, Okay, this is clearly missing something. I said, Tell me again when this hurts.
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Kathy Gruver: She thinks about it for a second. She says, well, it’s when when I’m grasping things when I’m gripping like like drunk hair dryer, because I have trouble lifting a bottle of wine. I thought that was horrible.
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Kathy Gruver: So I
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Jason Mefford: Gotta fix
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Kathy Gruver: To fix that, but I listened to her words. She’s like grab grasp grip. And I thought about it for a second. And I finally said, Well, is there something you’re grasping too tightly. Is there something that you need to let go. And I did that with my hands and she looked at me and she goes,
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Kathy Gruver: I don’t want to let my kids go
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, and I’m like, whoa, because I didn’t expect her to have an answer or one that profound. And I said, Well, what do you mean
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Kathy Gruver: And she then told me the story about how when she was a little kid, her brother had just gotten his driver’s license at 16. The first time he took the car out by himself, he was struck by a drunk driver and killed never came home.
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Kathy Gruver: And it ripped the family apart. Now I don’t have kids and I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a child, especially in that circumstance. I mean, just how horrible.
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Kathy Gruver: ripped her family apart and now her kids were 15 and a half and 14 and they wanted more freedom and she was terrified let them go.
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Jason Mefford: guessing that they both wanted to get a driver’s license to
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Kathy Gruver: Yes, especially the 15 and a half. It was like, I want to go drive and she’s like, No.
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Kathy Gruver: And I said, Wow, I said, I’m so sorry. That’s so awful. Have you told them this story. And she said, well, they knew I lost my brother, but they never told them how
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Kathy Gruver: And I said, Look, I’m not a therapist. I’m not telling you what to do. I said, but I would suggest you go home and you tell them that I said if nothing else.
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Kathy Gruver: It will explain to them why you have these fears and these concerns, you’re not just going to be crazy overbearing mom explaining to them that there’s reason there’s emotion. There’s deep
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Kathy Gruver: Set emotion behind your decisions. So that’s going to help them understand you more. And she’s like, Oh, that’s kind of an interesting idea. Okay.
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Kathy Gruver: So she comes back the following week, I said, How are you feeling. She goes, oh my god my hands feel so good. And we did this normal therapy and then near the end of the massage. You go, oh,
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Kathy Gruver: I forgot to tell you about last week I said oh what she goes, Well, I really thought about what you said my discuss it with my husband and
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Kathy Gruver: So we decided yet let’s tell the kids so that night after she saw me after dinner.
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Kathy Gruver: She pulled up photo albums and they sat around and she told them about her brother, and she told them very specifically what happened.
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Kathy Gruver: And she kind of teared up and said, you know, this is why I’m so afraid to let you go, cuz I’m afraid you’re not going to come back and they’ll cry together and they have this great moment.
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Kathy Gruver: And from that point forward, her hands started getting better. So she didn’t need to see me every week. It became every other week, then every third week. Then once a month, and I think I saw her. One more time. And I’ve never seen her again.
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Kathy Gruver: I don’t believe that it was 100% emotional but when she cleared that emotional thing when she let that emotion go
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Kathy Gruver: It helped it was the final thing. Now, I do not have a double blind placebo control that says yes, it was her letting go that solved the rest of this problem.
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Kathy Gruver: But it clearly contributed and I have seen this over and over again with my clients when they release that emotion when they acknowledge and
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Kathy Gruver: Process that that aspect of their pain of their discomfort of their sleep issue of all that stuff resolves that’s how I got into all of this, I can thank that woman who
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Kathy Gruver: Listen to what I suggested, and then shared her experience.
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Jason Mefford: But i think that’s that’s a great story.
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Jason Mefford: You know, for what for what we’re talking about here because again you know I
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Jason Mefford: A lot of the time the different pain that we’re feeling in our body. There is some emotional aspect to it.
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Jason Mefford: Right and and there’s different ways to get through it. I mean, for her going home. Having that honest and open conversation with her whole family. Sometimes, all we have to do is verbalize it.
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Jason Mefford: And and and what’s funny. I mean, one of one of the guys that I’ve, you know, heard some of the stuff that he does. It’s like
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Jason Mefford: You know, some of you need to verbalize it doesn’t even necessarily have to be using our language to describe it, but just moving
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Jason Mefford: Your mouth he, I think he has, you know, if you don’t want to actually say something out loud. Just say, talking, talking, talking, or something like that. Some, some kind of word right to where everything is, like, it’s like that character group from whatever
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Jason Mefford: Guardians of the Galaxy or whatever, all the tree says is, I am Groot I am Groot I am group right but we regardless of what is sometimes verbalizing or getting it out helps right i mean
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Jason Mefford: Some of the different therapy options that we’ve talked about on here. You know, like brain spotting hypnosis, some of these other things. It’s trying to get back into that.
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Jason Mefford: You know, for this lady was a big T trauma, right, her brother died unexpectedly, tragically, you know, that’s, that’s something that she is holding on to and until, until she releases that it went dormant for a while, probably right.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, because I’m guessing again. She didn’t have these carpal tunnel like
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Jason Mefford: You know symptoms and tell her children started getting to that age and now all of a sudden that
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Jason Mefford: That emotional experience that
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Jason Mefford: wasn’t fully processed comes back to the surface and it’s like
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Jason Mefford: You know, hey, activate hands are going
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, there we go. So
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Kathy Gruver: So I have a funny one.
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Kathy Gruver: I had a client come in for his massage and I knew my husband had worked with him, so I knew his work situation. I knew his boss. I knew all this stuff and he came in for his neck, and I said, so here’s the pain in your neck.
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Kathy Gruver: Seriously.
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Kathy Gruver: And he goes from probably my boss. I like yeah it’s typically the boss or the spouse.
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Kathy Gruver: And so I was working on his neck, working on his neck, and I said, so what else is going on. And he goes on, man. He goes, I have this all, sir.
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Kathy Gruver: I said, really. Oh, that’s awful. I said wasn’t feel like, and he goes, Well, I get this burning and then it bubbles up every once in a while. Now I’m immediately thinking anger, frustration, that’s what it says to me, and I said, oh, that’s interesting. I said so.
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Kathy Gruver: So what’s eating at you.
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Kathy Gruver: And he goes, well it’s spicy food. Yeah, no, I know that. But like, what’s what’s eating at you. And he goes, Well, you know, it’s like if I eaten and lay down. He’s so he’s not hearing me
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Kathy Gruver: Mm hmm. And then I finally said, I figured gestures would help right because I didn’t want to tell him what I thought it was I wanted him to kind of get there. So I said, No, no, I know what is what is eating at you.
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Kathy Gruver: And he goes, Oh God, I’m sorry. I totally was totally missing what you were saying I’m tomato sauce onions.
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Kathy Gruver: And he lists all these like okay here’s so not getting this, you still not getting this
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Kathy Gruver: So that was hilarious because it’s like, to me, also kind of have to get there yourself. You can’t be like, hey, what if
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Kathy Gruver: So then fast forward. I have another client he shows up. I said, how’s your body doing. He goes, I have blood in my urine. And I said, Wow, that’s really out of my scope of practice.
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Kathy Gruver: This is not blood and urine, kind of, it’s not on my resume and he goes, I don’t know, I went to the doctors, I get kidney stones, all the time. I’m sure that’s what it is. I went ok
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Kathy Gruver: So I’m massaging HIM AND I KNEW HE WORKED AT THE UNIVERSITY, AND HE WAS CONSTANTLY frustrated. No one could do anything right. Everybody was stupid. You know, fill in the blanks and
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Kathy Gruver: I finally is where I’m massaging them and doing his Mac has he also had a pain in the neck, and I said, So how’s work going. I know you’ve been having some frustrations. They’re not stupid. He just goes on this rant.
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Kathy Gruver: And I said, oh, so
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Kathy Gruver: The blood in the urine thing. And he goes, Oh, yeah, yeah. And I said, so who’s pissing you off.
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Kathy Gruver: He goes, What, and I said, Who’s pissing you off. And he goes, Oh, I see what you’re saying. The blood in the urine. Yeah, yeah. No one’s pissing me off. No one’s pissing me off. And I went, Okay, this is your past. He goes, nope.
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Kathy Gruver: Within 10 minutes he was again back on this rant about how everybody, no one can do anything right. He can’t retire because he wants it gives us full pension and done little and I said, Wow, you sound really pissed. And he goes, yeah, no, no, no, I
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Kathy Gruver: Never thought. There’s just, there’s just, there’s just these the the series of little irritations huh. And I said, oh, like kidney stones.
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Kathy Gruver: And he looks at me and he goes,
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Kathy Gruver: Uh huh. Yeah.
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Kathy Gruver: Well ultimately turned out not to be kidney stones. It turned out to be bladder cancer.
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Kathy Gruver: And he did the smartest thing he could, he quit two years before his full pension two years before the full everything and he did the cancer treatment in this cancer has not come back that I know.
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Kathy Gruver: I am not saying he causes own cancer. I would never say that I have heard health practitioners, say your anger caused your breast cancer. Oh my god, why would you say that to someone dealing with cancer. Now, what I will say,
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Kathy Gruver: Is if you don’t listen to what your body is telling you it will get louder. It’s the little kid in the store that’s yanking on mommy.
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Kathy Gruver: Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. And then she’s throwing stuff off shelves, because she wants your attention.
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Kathy Gruver: The little things that are happening in your body is a signal that something needs to be addressed. If you ignore it.
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Kathy Gruver: It’s going to get bigger and bigger and bigger, like the crack on the windshield that you swear, you’re going to fix and one day you come out the entire windshield shattered address this stuff when it’s a kidney stone, don’t wait till it’s bladder cancer. Yeah.
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Jason Mefford: Well, and it’s funny because, you know, in all three or four of the different examples that you’ve shared there was actually language that goes along with it too. Right.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, you know, you know, urine being pissed off, you know, there’s again another you know term that kind of comes up, well, something in our excretory factors. Right. However, I’m not a doctor but
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Jason Mefford: Some something in that in that area is kind of messed up, which probably led to us coming up with hey I’m pissed off. And that’s where it shows up right in the neck. You know, he’s a pain in the butt.
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Jason Mefford: Yes Gatica
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Kathy Gruver: Yeah.
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Jason Mefford: You know who’s, who’s the pain in the butt, you know, kind of thing. And what’s funny is that
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Jason Mefford: You know, in the examples that you shared some of the people were still trying to just go left brain analyze spicy.
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Jason Mefford: Yeah, right.
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Kathy Gruver: So,
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Kathy Gruver: What
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Kathy Gruver: But, but usually we in I think for me, this is
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Jason Mefford: This is where it’s hard because you know i know this, I get it. And so when I have certain pains in my back. I know I’m holding on to some emotion. There’s some thing probably going on.
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Jason Mefford: I don’t consciously know what it is usually right and so I think a lot of times we may not consciously know what it is, even if we realize, hey, there’s some emotion. I’ve got to work through. There’s some thing I’ve got to cleanse purge whatever word you want to use right
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Jason Mefford: And so how how how how do I do that or I guess, as you’ve worked with
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Jason Mefford: With people before once you start to recognize this, how, how are some of the best ways for us to try to work through this
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Kathy Gruver: Right. I think it’s important to identify what it is. Oh, it’s this is the last example, it’ll give you because I just, this is what I do all day but I had a gentleman in my office, he was having a lot of low back pain. Now, he was a floor installer.
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Kathy Gruver: Well of course he is. He’s crawling around the floor. He’s in awkward positions. He’s under sinks. He’s trying to lay down tile and all this stuff and he was having pretty bad low back pain, and I don’t do this with everybody.
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Kathy Gruver: But for him. I had this hit of talk about mind body stuff. I don’t do this with everybody. Some people, they just played soccer too hard that weekend you know it.
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Kathy Gruver: was totally logical that is back with her with the job that he has in his age. But I said, hey, I said, you know, just from a mind body perspective is, I just want to throw this out. I said the low back tends to be money issues sex issues and personal support issues.
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Kathy Gruver: He was dead quiet and I’m like, Okay. Either he thinks I’m a crazy person or he’s processing or he fell asleep or he didn’t want whatever he was a brand new client. And after about 20 minutes I hear. Oh.
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Kathy Gruver: I said what you guys I say that what you said it. Okay. And he goes, first of all, which one do you want to start with. I went I as everyone says
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Kathy Gruver: And he said, You know, honestly, I, I’ve really been kind of worried about money.
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Kathy Gruver: And I said, really. And he goes, yeah, if this was during the recession and all this stuff. And he said, yeah. He goes, you know, my client load my customer base is really down because I actually had to let a couple of my workers go
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Kathy Gruver: He goes on. I’m really kind of concerned about it. And I said, oh, he goes, Yeah, I haven’t, I haven’t told my wife.
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Kathy Gruver: And I went, Really, I said, Do you think she’d be upset and he goes, oh, no, we’re total partner. She’s incredibly supportive
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Kathy Gruver: And I said, well, look, I’m not a marriage counselor. I said, I’m not a therapist. I’m not about to tell you what to do.
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Kathy Gruver: I said, But wouldn’t you feel better if you could actually share with her your concerns and you guys can work as a partnership to fix that. He goes, you know, I probably and I should probably do that.
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Kathy Gruver: So I send them off. He comes back for his next massage. And he goes, thank you. I said what he goes I talked to my wife. He goes, I got home that night and I sat her down and expressed my concerns I express my worry
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Kathy Gruver: And she pulled out the book she pulled up the checkbook. She pulled out her savings account we looked at our budget, he said. And we realized that if I don’t get any more clients. This year we’re totally fine.
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Kathy Gruver: So it was that thing that feelings aren’t facts. Do I know that to be true thing, and he was sort of spiraling from that feeling of lack
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Kathy Gruver: And him said sharing with his wife, which he clearly was feeling a little guilty about not sharing with her sharing with his wife looking and actually
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Kathy Gruver: verifying the books because I actually have had my low back about a couple of times, it seems to me when I’m worried about money. And so what I do is I look at my checkbook and my client load and go, Kathy, you’re fine.
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Kathy Gruver: He said, Thank you. That was really cool. He goes, but let me ask you this. I said, What’s that he goes isn’t everybody concerned about money sex or personal support. Why don’t we all have back pain, and I went
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Kathy Gruver: Interesting point. I said, are we suppressing that are we expressing it. Are we dealing with, are we handling it and even dr john Sarno healing your back pain.
00:18:10.140 –> 00:18:18.240
Kathy Gruver: He talks about that. It’s those repressed emotions that anger that you’re stuffing. It’s those emotions. You’re holding on to because emotions are ugly. We’re not taught how to deal with those
00:18:18.540 –> 00:18:22.140
Kathy Gruver: If you put it in your body as physical pain you pay attention to that.
00:18:22.830 –> 00:18:33.900
Kathy Gruver: So I think it’s another way for our body to process stuff out. If we’re not dealing with those emotions. How often have we been stress. Stress. Stress. Stress. Stress. Stress. Stress and then we get sick or we get a headache or we get a stomach problem where we get
00:18:34.350 –> 00:18:37.740
Kathy Gruver: That’s what all of this does. That’s what our body’s trying to do to regulate this stuff.
00:18:38.040 –> 00:18:50.790
Kathy Gruver: So I feel like it was that talking to the woman’s kids. It was quitting the job and getting out of that situation. It was releasing those emotions and dealing with that situation on the physical plane that helps those emotions heal.
00:18:51.900 –> 00:18:57.150
Jason Mefford: Yeah, because really it’s it’s about. It’s not that we don’t all experience those emotions.
00:18:58.560 –> 00:19:01.980
Jason Mefford: But if we work through them. They kind of they kind of dissipate.
00:19:02.700 –> 00:19:11.760
Jason Mefford: If we stuff them down if we don’t deal with them, then after a while they will usually end up showing up at different places in our body. Right.
00:19:12.510 –> 00:19:21.450
Jason Mefford: And I think it’s interesting because you talked about, you know, low back pain money sex personal support that’s also your root chakra, you know, area which does have something to do energetically with
00:19:21.450 –> 00:19:22.950
Kathy Gruver: One as well. Yes.
00:19:23.010 –> 00:19:24.540
Jason Mefford: Oh, it’s it’s it’s
00:19:26.310 –> 00:19:42.240
Jason Mefford: It’s, it’s interesting. Yeah, you know, as far as some of these different places in what it is that you know but like you said, We just got to kind of identify it and then kind of go through it. I mean, Dr Sarno you know he’s got a great book healing back, man.
00:19:42.450 –> 00:19:43.020
Kathy Gruver: Right, yeah.
00:19:43.350 –> 00:19:51.750
Jason Mefford: Okay, there’s, there’s also a documentary about him, that’s out. Now that I saw and and you know, just kind of the synopsis of
00:19:52.410 –> 00:20:07.440
Jason Mefford: You know synopsis of his book, right, is that most of the back pain is not something physically wrong, but it’s the stuffing of emotions and what he saw was that there’s a lack of oxygen, getting to those certain
00:20:07.440 –> 00:20:08.490
Kathy Gruver: Parts of your bag.
00:20:09.810 –> 00:20:19.080
Jason Mefford: And because of the oxygen depletion that that’s that’s what’s causing it. That actually if you can increase the oxygen to those areas.
00:20:19.440 –> 00:20:32.100
Jason Mefford: That it’s it actually starts to go away and you work through the emotions or the stuff that comes up and for most of the people that he’s dealt with in his practice over the years, you know, he passed away a few years ago, I believe.
00:20:33.480 –> 00:20:46.320
Jason Mefford: That that tended to be the thing that actually helped them, you know, get rid of it. Whether you know they go to their GP and it’s like herniated disc. We got to go cut on you and all this kind of stuff. But it was it’s as inflammation.
00:20:46.800 –> 00:20:49.470
Jason Mefford: In those parts of your body because of the lack of oxygen.
00:20:49.830 –> 00:20:50.100
Kathy Gruver: Yeah.
00:20:50.130 –> 00:20:51.180
Jason Mefford: So, you know, against
00:20:51.240 –> 00:20:51.990
Jason Mefford: Well, yeah, good.
00:20:52.410 –> 00:20:56.190
Kathy Gruver: Well, I just say the other thing that he brought up and I don’t remember the number. So I’m going to make them up.
00:20:56.490 –> 00:21:08.490
Kathy Gruver: They looked at 100 people and they did MRI CT X rays of 100 completely asymptomatic people know that pain at all. No back discomfort and something like I’m making this up 50% of them had
00:21:08.820 –> 00:21:20.490
Kathy Gruver: herniated discs. Bulging discs narrowing of stuff. Correct, this and that but zero symptoms. So if you’re starting to have pain somewhere and you go and have this imaging and it shows something
00:21:21.150 –> 00:21:29.160
Kathy Gruver: That isn’t necessarily from the crack the ideation. The bulging, it could be something else, because you have all these other people that have those things, but no symptoms.
00:21:29.370 –> 00:21:35.550
Kathy Gruver: So that’s where Western medicine, kind of, I wish all the problem, it’s this thing and you know what we got on us.
00:21:35.970 –> 00:21:41.880
Kathy Gruver: Was I’m having neck issues and Jason immediately said, What’s the pain in your neck. Well, I’m having some of those right now.
00:21:42.240 –> 00:21:48.360
Kathy Gruver: Now, do I have structural stuff going on. I got a shit ton of structural stuff going my neck is it’s bad folks but
00:21:48.990 –> 00:22:01.170
Kathy Gruver: It can get better with physical therapy with me, figuring out what those emotions are me releasing those emotions. I mean, I fully what I do, you know, so yeah. But this is how we got this idea for the show is I’m having a pain in my neck. It’s not you, Jason.
00:22:01.560 –> 00:22:02.100
Jason Mefford: It’s not me.
00:22:02.430 –> 00:22:05.940
Jason Mefford: It’s that one as well and and you know again for me. Like I said, I get
00:22:06.360 –> 00:22:09.180
Jason Mefford: I get various pains in my back. Right.
00:22:09.420 –> 00:22:14.100
Jason Mefford: You know, and the end there at specific places, you know, one of those places is a little back
00:22:15.510 –> 00:22:24.960
Jason Mefford: You know, but but also you know some some other different areas. And so again, it’s just trying to kind of, you know, recognize it identify it. Try to think about
00:22:26.460 –> 00:22:39.060
Jason Mefford: You know, in for me. A lot of times it’s like, I don’t know what what the emotion is that I’ve got a process through. I don’t know what the, you know, big T little T trauma thing is that I have to work through. I just know there’s something there.
00:22:39.300 –> 00:22:39.540
Kathy Gruver: Yeah.
00:22:39.630 –> 00:22:47.700
Jason Mefford: But one of the things that I’ve heard and this kind of, you know, goes back to some of the NLP kind of stuff, because I know you’ve actually done some work around NLP to write
00:22:48.210 –> 00:23:01.770
Jason Mefford: Is, you know, the, the question that a lot of times you’ll hear people say you know when when they say, Well, I just don’t know what it is and and the practitioner will say, well, if you knew what it was, what would it be
00:23:04.230 –> 00:23:15.720
Jason Mefford: And use it the first time, people were like, Well, I just told you. I don’t know. Well, I know that. But if you knew what it was, what would it be and asking ourselves questions like that.
00:23:17.130 –> 00:23:30.180
Jason Mefford: Consciously. We don’t know the answer, and sometimes boom right at that point, you’re like, Oh, I get it right. Like when you’re talking to the lady, you know, with the carpal tunnel. I don’t want to let my kids go. She knew, like right away.
00:23:31.410 –> 00:23:47.370
Jason Mefford: Sometimes that happens just like right away. We know, and other times it’s like, I don’t know. Right. So you ask yourself some of those questions kind of self coaching, if you will. And then just let it go. And at some point, your brain is going to tell you what it is.
00:23:47.670 –> 00:23:51.600
Jason Mefford: Right, it might be one of those shower moments or whatever else were just
00:23:51.630 –> 00:23:52.170
Kathy Gruver: Out of the blue.
00:23:52.320 –> 00:23:55.950
Jason Mefford: It’s like, holy shit yeah I’m totally know what this is. Now, right.
00:23:56.970 –> 00:23:58.710
Jason Mefford: You can actually try to deal with it.
00:23:59.130 –> 00:24:07.260
Kathy Gruver: Right. And it’s so funny, what we know and we I think so many times we say, I don’t know. We totally do. We just don’t want to say anything. I was sort of
00:24:07.980 –> 00:24:13.290
Kathy Gruver: Casually when I was at a party, and we were talking. Somehow, it was all women. So we got on sex.
00:24:14.040 –> 00:24:16.500
Kathy Gruver: Because you know that’s what we’ve been talking about. If you didn’t already know.
00:24:16.800 –> 00:24:24.900
Kathy Gruver: And we were talking about like experimentation and like BDS NAM and like all this crazy stuff and the woman says to me, Oh, I just, I just, I’m so comfortable doing that. And I said why
00:24:25.440 –> 00:24:29.220
Kathy Gruver: And she was, well, I don’t know. I said, Yes, you do. Just. Well, I think it’s probably and she goes,
00:24:30.030 –> 00:24:35.010
Kathy Gruver: So the rest of the night, anytime. She’d say, I don’t know, I’d say, Yes, you do. She had an immediate answer.
00:24:35.730 –> 00:24:45.270
Kathy Gruver: Where’s her go to thing was, I don’t know. Yes, you do. What was probably and she would have this the whole thing, you know. So by the end of this conversation when she was ready to go home and put in lingerie for her husband.
00:24:46.650 –> 00:24:47.610
Kathy Gruver: I’m sure me that was
00:24:47.760 –> 00:24:49.380
Kathy Gruver: Blocked because I was talking about things that
00:24:50.370 –> 00:24:51.360
Kathy Gruver: I do anyway.
00:24:52.800 –> 00:25:00.270
Kathy Gruver: And she was like, I can’t do it. Why, I don’t know. Yes, you do. Okay, sure I do, but it was amazing. It’s like she just had to be challenged
00:25:01.410 –> 00:25:07.890
Kathy Gruver: To answer that question, and what is Mike Mandela say pretend and then pretend you’re not pretending, your brain goes well, what
00:25:08.580 –> 00:25:11.490
Jason Mefford: Well, that’s like, because I think that knee jerk reaction to I don’t
00:25:11.490 –> 00:25:12.540
Jason Mefford: Know is
00:25:14.190 –> 00:25:17.100
Jason Mefford: I don’t know consciously is what we mean.
00:25:17.550 –> 00:25:18.840
Kathy Gruver: Right. Well, I don’t want to tell you
00:25:18.930 –> 00:25:24.570
Jason Mefford: Or I don’t want to eat. Yeah, it’s either. I know consciously and I don’t want to tell you or I don’t know consciously
00:25:24.930 –> 00:25:26.970
Jason Mefford: Well, you might not know consciously, but
00:25:26.970 –> 00:25:39.480
Jason Mefford: Subconsciously your brain and your body knows. And so if you’ll actually listen and allow the answer to come back because I’ve even seen this with people. I mean, the power of asking questions.
00:25:39.990 –> 00:25:49.620
Jason Mefford: Is is is great. I mean, that’s where, again, a lot of the value comes from coaching and other things like that is somebody actually asking you the right kind of questions. So you
00:25:49.620 –> 00:25:57.060
Jason Mefford: Can get your own answer. And I’ve seen people that will that will do this for like they’re they’re talking along and they’re like,
00:25:57.390 –> 00:26:11.880
Jason Mefford: Oh. You know that guy that did that back pain book. What’s his name with, you know, I can’t remember. What’s the guy’s name that did the back pain. Oh, sorry. No, that’s right. Okay. And, and just kind of asking yourself. Little things like that.
00:26:13.110 –> 00:26:18.120
Jason Mefford: Ends up, like I said, I’ve seen this in. It wasn’t a coaching. They were just trying to remember but
00:26:18.390 –> 00:26:26.190
Jason Mefford: As as they were frustrated. They couldn’t remember but the minute that they kind of ask themselves that question. Poof.
00:26:26.310 –> 00:26:33.930
Kathy Gruver: It comes out because your brain doesn’t like open loops, your brain doesn’t like mysteries. This is why we can still think about
00:26:34.200 –> 00:26:41.130
Kathy Gruver: From 20 years ago did that that cheat on me or not because we don’t have an answer. So our brains going to keep working on that. That’s why two o’clock, you know, weekly
00:26:41.460 –> 00:26:45.720
Kathy Gruver: was the name of that girl is sitting next to me in English class. Ah, you don’t in two o’clock in the morning, you’re like,
00:26:46.680 –> 00:26:56.940
Kathy Gruver: You know, your brain is going to keep working on that until it figures it out and that can drive us crazy because sometimes there’s no answer. We’ll never know if the guy 20 years ago cheated on us. We will ever know that
00:26:58.110 –> 00:26:59.220
Kathy Gruver: You know, we might, you know,
00:26:59.490 –> 00:27:01.410
Jason Mefford: It doesn’t really matter 20 right
00:27:01.560 –> 00:27:08.400
Kathy Gruver: To our brain, it does because it needs to have closure on that needs to figure that out. Anyway, I don’t think he did and that’s really great. She says hi
00:27:10.710 –> 00:27:22.320
Kathy Gruver: Yeah. So ask yourself those questions, look at the problems that you’re having physically and see what corresponds to that get Louise Hayes book. I love her little book john sorrows book. There’s so many that my book. I have a whole list of course buttons in there.
00:27:22.350 –> 00:27:24.450
Jason Mefford: Yeah, you’ve written a few books on this too, so
00:27:24.570 –> 00:27:34.410
Kathy Gruver: Yeah, but I think I came up with 80 or 85 different body language and things that we use now. So it’s kind of fun.
00:27:35.040 –> 00:27:35.400
Kathy Gruver: Yeah.
00:27:35.940 –> 00:27:39.960
Jason Mefford: So, and again, if this is not, you know, we probably should give a little disclaimer thing to right
00:27:39.960 –> 00:27:43.500
Jason Mefford: I mean, obviously, if you have physical symptoms of stuff you should go see a doctor.
00:27:43.530 –> 00:27:56.220
Jason Mefford: Please, you know, but but like I said, there’s been a lot of research and a lot of things that have come out that a lot of times it’s not necessarily something structurally that’s causing the pain and so
00:27:56.220 –> 00:28:09.060
Jason Mefford: when that’s the case. Again, try some of the different things that we’ve been talking about because they they work for lots of people. I mean, several examples of Kathy’s talked about some of her clients how some of these techniques of help them so
00:28:09.390 –> 00:28:22.440
Kathy Gruver: Yeah, they’re amazing. So we’re not physicians, we’re not a you caused her own pain and disease. We’re not saying never see your doctor again he’s smart people. Come on. But, and if this helps improve everything, even by 10%. Why would you not do that.
00:28:23.970 –> 00:28:36.930
Kathy Gruver: You know, so anyway. So there it is. Go forth examine yourself. Look at your own bodies. See how that’s connected to your mind. Because I guarantee you it is in some way so lovely. I like that was a fun one. Okay. Kathy Gruber. I can receive Kathy gruber.com
00:28:37.290 –> 00:28:52.260
Jason Mefford: And I’m Jason effort. I can be reached at Jason method calm, so go out, ask yourself some questions, work through whatever you need to work through and, you know, get rid of those pain in the neck and pain in the butt and stop being pissed off so much
00:28:53.250 –> 00:28:53.820
Jason Mefford: So here we go.
00:28:54.060 –> 00:28:57.330
Jason Mefford: Sex and go have sex. So you don’t have a lower back pain.
00:28:57.600 –> 00:28:59.610
Jason Mefford: Yeah, alright.
00:29:00.090 –> 00:29:01.920
Jason Mefford: And we’ll see you I will
00:29:01.950 –> 00:29:03.990
Jason Mefford: On the next episode of the fire Earth.
00:29:03.990 –> 00:29:05.130
Jason Mefford: Podcast. So, yeah.
00:29:05.490 –> 00:29:05.850