Looking for purpose in life? Well unfortunately your purpose may not all of a sudden fall into your lap. In today’s episode we discuss with Sean Rosensteel how to find our own purposes in life
and how we can use this purpose in order to live with intention.  

To get a free copy of Sean’s book “The School of Intentional Living” visit his website: https://www.seanrosensteel.com/ and check out his podcasts: The Sean Rosensteel Podcast, and author-ized. 

Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/fireandearthpodcast/


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Kathy Gruver: Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast, I’m your co host Kathy gruver

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Jason Mefford: And I’m Jason Medford, and today we have a special guest Sean Rosenstiel with us, Sean, all the way from Dallas, Fort Worth area. I think if I remember I didn’t

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Sean Rosensteel: Just recently, Dallas. Yeah.

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Jason Mefford: All right, Dallas.

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Jason Mefford: Dallas is one of my was was always one of my favorite places to go and visit. If you’re going to go to Texas. I say go to Dallas, but anyway.

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Jason Mefford: we digress let’s let’s let’s first john let’s talk a little bit about you because I know you’ve got an interesting background, you’ve got a book out

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Jason Mefford: You’ve got a podcast as well. So just kind of share with the listeners a little bit about kind of who you are, what you do and then let’s just kind of jump in and see where the conversation goes today.

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Sean Rosensteel: Awesome. Well, thank you, Cathy, and Jason, for having me on the show today greatly appreciate it. Nice to be here with you with y’all as they say that

00:00:54.750 –> 00:00:58.680
Jason Mefford: All right, you got to start getting used to y’all and all y’all.

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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, so I’m a Midwestern er. I’m from Chicago. And I tried that.

00:01:03.300 –> 00:01:12.900
Sean Rosensteel: A few weeks ago. Totally botched it like it cut off halfway in the middle. I was like, Yep. All and everyone knew I was an imposter. So I’m not going to try that again.

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Sean Rosensteel: But

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Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, so thanks for having me.

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Kathy Gruver: We’ll do our drills.

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Sean Rosensteel: So I recently wrote and published a book and published in July and it’s called the school of intentional living

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Sean Rosensteel: And I’ve been wanting to write a book for many years. I actually became obsessed with this topic of intentional living about a decade ago.

00:01:32.340 –> 00:01:41.940
Sean Rosensteel: In my late 20s, I went bankrupt and I had many opportunities for wake up calls during my teenage years and my early and mid 20s.

00:01:42.840 –> 00:01:53.370
Sean Rosensteel: Not like near death experiences, but close calls where I barely made it out alive. And you would think that that would have shifted me up enough to wake me up a little bit, but it really didn’t

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Sean Rosensteel: Interestingly enough, when I went bankrupt. It was about a month before my wedding. This is very interesting time

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Sean Rosensteel: And it was the first time that I really pause and reflected back on some of the choices that I had made leading up to that pivotal moment.

00:02:08.040 –> 00:02:15.570
Sean Rosensteel: And I realized how unintentionally and just how complacently. I was living. I was really going through the motions making poor decisions.

00:02:16.170 –> 00:02:24.750
Sean Rosensteel: Really living from a place of what’s in it for me, versus how may I serve. So when I went bankrupt. I took some stock took some inventory

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Sean Rosensteel: And recognize the fact that I would be responsible for another human being. And about a month and she my fiance at the time was talking about someday you know having a family of our own. And I’m thinking, oh my gosh.

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Sean Rosensteel: I have one. It’s one plus some others. Right. Yeah.

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Sean Rosensteel: I’m ever going to be responsible for her and our future children someday when I can’t even be responsible for myself so

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Sean Rosensteel: Luckily I received some guidance at that time. In fact, I include included the, the, the money I had borrowed from my parents in my bankruptcy.

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Sean Rosensteel: And after the fact. Once the paperwork was finalized, I realized, oh my gosh, my poor mother is going to walk out and get the mountain and see the letter from the government.

00:03:08.670 –> 00:03:15.000
Sean Rosensteel: So I figured I better give them a heads up on this one. So I called them both and they were incredibly

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Sean Rosensteel: Supportive and luckily I’ve been very fortunate. They gave me unconditional love my whole life and

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Sean Rosensteel: They told me something that day that they had told me 100 times over. It’s just I think I was ready to hear the guidance and it finally stuck. So my dad said, Shawn, no one is responsible for you, but you

00:03:33.540 –> 00:03:38.940
Sean Rosensteel: And then my mom chimed in and said, It’s time to fight. Find a quiet place and figure things out for yourself.

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Sean Rosensteel: So 28 years old, I kind of took a step back and almost reset my life, I realized that, okay, I can

00:03:46.680 –> 00:04:01.200
Sean Rosensteel: reset my financial column and all my debt goes away. But there’s no reset button for the things and the people in my life that matter the most. And I had a lot of digging out to do. I was bankrupt, not only financially but spiritually and emotionally and physically as well.

00:04:02.310 –> 00:04:11.820
Sean Rosensteel: So I was a little bit behind the eight ball but became obsessed with personal growth. I always didn’t like school I was always a C average at best student

00:04:12.210 –> 00:04:15.780
Sean Rosensteel: Kind of went through the motions there. I was just biding my time trying to get out.

00:04:16.350 –> 00:04:25.650
Sean Rosensteel: And I became obsessed with learning. I was like, Oh my gosh, I can read a book on addiction and put some of these strategies into play in my own life and then overcome these things so

00:04:26.310 –> 00:04:36.420
Sean Rosensteel: I got really crazy about learning and applying what I was learning and eventually just became obsessed with this idea of, you know, living my best life living intentionally

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Sean Rosensteel: And then years went by I got a few results and different areas of my life and I eventually began teaching this to others.

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Sean Rosensteel: So I’ve been coaching this to other people on an individual basis, also in group settings for about six years now.

00:04:51.810 –> 00:04:57.390
Sean Rosensteel: And it was recommended that someday I write a book. I’m an avid reader. I read roughly a book, a week.

00:04:57.750 –> 00:05:11.460
Sean Rosensteel: Books saved my life 10 years ago I couldn’t afford an online course back then, you know, the early days and online courses weren’t to 97 they were more expensive than that I couldn’t afford plane tickets to fly out to go see Tony Robbins in LA.

00:05:12.810 –> 00:05:22.350
Sean Rosensteel: So books at the library and books on Amazon for 12 $15 really saved my life. So I thought it was a great idea to someday, write a book myself.

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Sean Rosensteel: Although I didn’t really know how to approach the subject of intentional living because it means so many different things to so many different people.

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Sean Rosensteel: And I think there’s a lot of misconceptions about it so I couldn’t find the entry point.

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Sean Rosensteel: Luckily, late last year I was doing a meditation and idea hit me that I couldn’t really let go of

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Sean Rosensteel: And it kind of gave me this metaphor to use with intentional living and I went for it. And I started writing the book made the decision in January to write the book this year started in February.

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Sean Rosensteel: coven hit obviously it affecting all of us. No one was insulated from that.

00:05:57.840 –> 00:06:05.040
Sean Rosensteel: And I feel like it was a blessing that I decided to write the book this year because it really gave me something to focus on during those

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Sean Rosensteel: uncertain times. I mean, we’re still living through those uncertain times now, to a certain degree, but it gave me a project to sink my teeth into and kind of kept my attention.

00:06:16.230 –> 00:06:21.630
Sean Rosensteel: And then eventually published in July and I’m really thrilled. It’s, it’s done really well. I think the timing.

00:06:22.470 –> 00:06:29.880
Sean Rosensteel: Is lucky and it’s amazing because I think a lot of us are impacted by this pandemic and a lot of us are

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Sean Rosensteel: You know, sitting back and doing a little bit of reflection and figuring out. Okay, what do I really want out of my life. And what’s my next move because we’re all a little bit stuck right now. Yeah.

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Kathy Gruver: Yeah, and it’s so funny because I had, I’ve heard so many people say

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Kathy Gruver: Now that we’ve got a pandemic. I’m going to write my book and nobody has including me, it’s like I was having halfway through one of my books. And I thought, what a perfect time to write it and then Hammond.

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Kathy Gruver: So can good for you for actually like doing that thing you said you’re going to do and not like like Pokemon like some of the others. I must have done.

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Kathy Gruver: So, so you say there’s a lot of misconceptions and a lot of different routes into this idea of living your best life. So what is your philosophy on that. What was that in for you.

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Sean Rosensteel: So for me, when, you know, I used to think about intentional living from a place of, like, I think it’s got some religious undercurrents

00:07:23.880 –> 00:07:31.650
Sean Rosensteel: I remember years ago I was looking for a book to help me live a more Purpose Driven Life and I found the book of Purpose Driven Life by were born.

00:07:32.400 –> 00:07:38.220
Sean Rosensteel: And I remember opening it up and thinking, Wow, this is a lot of gospel, and this is a lot of

00:07:38.670 –> 00:07:45.450
Sean Rosensteel: You know, there’s just a lot of religious undertones which is perfectly fine. But that’s that really wasn’t what I was looking for.

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Sean Rosensteel: At that time, so I think people associate intentional living to to Christianity, I think, at times, which is perfectly fine. That wasn’t my angle at it necessarily

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Sean Rosensteel: I also think there’s a big misconception about purpose. I know a lot of people who are asking themselves, what’s my purpose. Right, and I think we all

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Sean Rosensteel: Believe that purpose is just going to smack us like a, you know, ton of bricks in the face, one day, and I don’t believe I found that purpose doesn’t necessarily work that way.

00:08:16.560 –> 00:08:25.440
Sean Rosensteel: I think purpose is something that’s not singular. A lot of us look to write out a purpose statement in one sentence and I don’t actually know anyone

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Sean Rosensteel: Who has done that exercise in their entire life has changed. I think purpose can be found in every area of your life. And I think it’s a moving target.

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Sean Rosensteel: You know my purpose today is different than it was a year ago my priorities have shifted. I’ve had different experiences in all areas of my life. And now you know my focus has changed.

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Sean Rosensteel: So I think it’s important for us to realize that purpose is fluid. It’s a moving target of changes with age with experience with our priorities and

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Sean Rosensteel: I oftentimes tell people look if you’re stuck with that question. What is my purpose, you know, ask a better question. You’ll get better answers right so I always recommend that people add two simple words to that which is, What is my purpose right now.

00:09:12.630 –> 00:09:23.370
Sean Rosensteel: Because that seems to really adjust people’s focus and helps them to live in the moment. Live in the present moment, and also realize that okay you know my purpose right now is to focus on

00:09:23.850 –> 00:09:35.310
Sean Rosensteel: This thing or the other thing we all have a lot going on right we’ve got, you know, we’re coming into this podcast we got things after this podcast. So what’s my purpose today, what’s my purpose. Right now it’s to be present with

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Sean Rosensteel: You Jason and Kathy and to enjoy our time together on this podcast. So I feel like that’s a neat little trick that you can use if you feel yourself getting caught up in that role. What is my purpose mentality. Right. It’s kind of that loop.

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Jason Mefford: Well, because they adding those two words, the right now at the end of it is what’s important, right, because I don’t know. I mean, again,

00:09:55.860 –> 00:10:04.020
Jason Mefford: I see that you see this all the time with people. Right. What is my purpose. So then the couch meditate, it’s going to hit me on the side of the head like a two before

00:10:04.380 –> 00:10:10.440
Jason Mefford: It ain’t going to happen like that right and so many people just get stuck. They’re like, Well, I’m not going to take any action.

00:10:10.740 –> 00:10:20.460
Jason Mefford: Until I know what my purpose is I’m just going to sit here and think until it hits me right and it’s like, folks, the intention comes after you start taking action.

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Jason Mefford: Right, you got to start doing something usually before, it’ll actually calm, because the universe isn’t going to just give it to you if you’re just sitting there doing nothing but thinking

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Jason Mefford: Right, that’s one of the, I think misconceptions in general with, you know, kind of the whole you know mindfulness and a lot of people getting into meditation and more spiritual stuff.

00:10:42.690 –> 00:10:50.250
Jason Mefford: Is, is they think, well, all I have to do is sit and think about it and everything happens, you still got to work right. You still gotta do.

00:10:50.730 –> 00:11:00.900
Jason Mefford: What it is and and it doesn’t come as a two before it comes just like you said when you were getting that inspiration for the book. Right. It’s just like all of a sudden you have this thought

00:11:01.800 –> 00:11:10.650
Jason Mefford: And this metaphor comes in and it keeps hanging around. You couldn’t get rid of it. It wasn’t a fleeting moment. It was a conscious stream into you.

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Jason Mefford: Hey, my purpose right now is to write that book. Right.

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Sean Rosensteel: Now, right.

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Sean Rosensteel: But I also think, to your point, Jason. I also think it’s good. I mean, I think a lot of us go through our entire lives and we don’t ask ourselves that question.

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Sean Rosensteel: I mean, I, I’m for whatever reason, I kind of like to live my life from the end. So I get obsessed with like top five regrets of the dying brownie where

00:11:37.020 –> 00:11:49.140
Sean Rosensteel: The number one regret of those so many people who she took care of in the final weeks of their lives said, You know, I wish I would have lived a life that was more true to myself and not the life that others expected of me.

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Sean Rosensteel: So I think a lot of us go through the motions for a lifetime. But some of us do start asking those questions at whatever age, it is. And I always think that’s kind of a tap on the shoulder.

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Sean Rosensteel: That’s kind of the beginning of a calling, and I think you’re lucky. I think it’s a blessing. If you start to ask those difficult deep, meaningful questions so

00:12:10.680 –> 00:12:16.980
Sean Rosensteel: Not a bad thing, but you don’t want to sit idle for years in. I’m wondering mode, right.

00:12:17.490 –> 00:12:24.660
Sean Rosensteel: And it’s all about that intention. I mean, I was looking for an entry point. It took a long time. But my mind was open to it.

00:12:25.110 –> 00:12:31.650
Sean Rosensteel: You know, and oftentimes when you set that intention, the universe conspires with you or God or source or whatever you call it.

00:12:32.160 –> 00:12:41.370
Sean Rosensteel: And the right people start showing up in your life, the right solutions present themselves. So I think it’s a great thing. Step one might be, Hey, I’m wondering about this thing.

00:12:42.300 –> 00:12:52.890
Sean Rosensteel: To might be look for it. Step three. Might be hey we all value clarity, we all wish we can have clarity, but oftentimes the clarity, we all desire is earned through action, to your point.

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Jason Mefford: As it is right.

00:12:54.270 –> 00:13:02.940
Sean Rosensteel: So you learn and grow through motion and experience. You can’t just sit and meditate for many years and expect the exact result to show up, you know,

00:13:03.690 –> 00:13:11.370
Kathy Gruver: So I have a question. Now this might be getting a little too. This could be an interesting route. Um, I’ve talked to some I’ve traveled the world.

00:13:11.790 –> 00:13:18.870
Kathy Gruver: I grew up in Pittsburgh. I’ve been well there’s only three states, I’ve not been to every place I go I talked to people and

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Kathy Gruver: I’ve talked to so many people who they don’t care about a purpose, they don’t think about that they think people to think about that or that you know the navel gazers who are sitting around just looking for something big. I

00:13:31.230 –> 00:13:45.840
Kathy Gruver: I feel like the majority of the population is okay to get up how their breakfast, go to work, do their job, have their family go to bed after watching something on TV. I think so many people are just that’s there’s they’re totally okay with that.

00:13:47.340 –> 00:13:54.810
Kathy Gruver: Do you agree with that. Do you think we should all be looking for a purpose, or do you think it’s okay to just have a part of the population going now. This is it. This is what it is.

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Kathy Gruver: Am I correct in that statement, in your opinion, and I mean like, what do you guys think about that.

00:14:01.980 –> 00:14:03.930
Sean Rosensteel: Well, I think those people are just wrong. No.

00:14:06.690 –> 00:14:08.310
Jason Mefford: You’re listening right now know how

00:14:08.310 –> 00:14:09.120
Kathy Gruver: To go no

00:14:09.870 –> 00:14:11.880
Sean Rosensteel: I’m glad you both laughed so quickly, because I was

00:14:14.310 –> 00:14:32.880
Sean Rosensteel: You know, I think each of us has our own path and we have to respect and appreciate everyone based on their unique beliefs and their experiences and the, I don’t see anything wrong with that. I think there’s a need for everybody here, you know. So I don’t think that everyone needs to

00:14:33.900 –> 00:14:42.930
Sean Rosensteel: Go beyond the let’s call it conventional living right you wake up to do the job you come, you pay your taxes. Come on, someday. Hopefully you retire.

00:14:44.040 –> 00:14:52.500
Sean Rosensteel: I don’t like those odds. When you look at the statistics and I just don’t like those odds and, secondly, I think I would be bored out of my mind and retirement.

00:14:53.280 –> 00:15:02.010
Sean Rosensteel: So I would like to contribute to give back to serve. I’d like to be live a life of meaning and purpose for as long as I’m here and capable to do so, but

00:15:02.400 –> 00:15:13.380
Sean Rosensteel: That’s just my, that’s my value system. That’s what I enjoy. I know not everybody’s like that. And I think that’s totally fine. I think they are serving a purpose somewhere.

00:15:13.830 –> 00:15:21.510
Sean Rosensteel: I know a lot of people who are corporate executives and they, you know, work hard and they come home and they’re, they’re great family people

00:15:21.870 –> 00:15:39.240
Sean Rosensteel: They’re raising their families. So while they’re not pursuing like a purpose driven career like a thought leader, a career as a writer or a coach or a speaker, they’re doing great work inside their company, and then they’re serving their families. And I think that’s very admirable

00:15:41.340 –> 00:15:49.170
Sean Rosensteel: I know some people who have a day job and they don’t have families and they volunteer every now and then.

00:15:49.860 –> 00:15:59.580
Sean Rosensteel: I think that’s great. You know, so I think, to each his own. I don’t have any issues with that. But I do tend to attract and be attracted to those people who are looking to

00:16:00.180 –> 00:16:09.300
Sean Rosensteel: You know, make a difference, so to speak, my grandmother growing up used to always tell us as kids, you know, never leave a room and worse condition than when you enter debt.

00:16:09.900 –> 00:16:20.160
Sean Rosensteel: And I kind of use our planet. This world as a metaphor. And I tried to live that out in my own life and my whole thought process is. I don’t want to leave this world and been

00:16:20.520 –> 00:16:34.290
Sean Rosensteel: In worse off condition than when I arrived, I want to use my talents and God given abilities and everything else to make this a better place. And we we each have different unique ways of doing that. I will never be a politician.

00:16:35.430 –> 00:16:42.780
Sean Rosensteel: It’s not in my DNA. It’s not in my blood. I’m interested in other things. And while I’m involved minimally and I do my part.

00:16:43.110 –> 00:16:50.160
Sean Rosensteel: I just won’t pursue that path, but I know a lot of other people who are very obsessed with it and passionate about it. I think that’s great.

00:16:50.850 –> 00:17:08.760
Sean Rosensteel: You know, so we’re all I believe we’re all here for a reason. I think we all contribute in our own ways, or we don’t contribute and it may be create someone else’s path because of that lack of contribution. Right. So it’s all kind of happening together for a reason, in my experience,

00:17:09.990 –> 00:17:26.190
Jason Mefford: One of the things sometimes, too. It’s, it’s, you know, there’s different seasons of people’s lives as well. Right. And so I think sometimes, you know, it’s easy for us from the outside to maybe judge or not, not see it as maybe

00:17:27.630 –> 00:17:35.010
Jason Mefford: You know, is intentional or, you know, it’s kind of the same old get up, you know, go to work, come home BA BA BA BA BA BUM, you know, kind of thing, but

00:17:35.610 –> 00:17:41.460
Jason Mefford: To the person itself. A lot of it comes back to the intense and the intent of the person as well.

00:17:42.120 –> 00:17:51.000
Jason Mefford: And so, you know, I’ve seen lots of people, you know, mothers, fathers, working one or two jobs immigrant families, especially fall into this right where

00:17:51.450 –> 00:18:01.530
Jason Mefford: Where maybe the parents. It just seems like they’re kind of doing the daily grind, but they have purpose behind what they’re doing. And it’s to provide

00:18:01.920 –> 00:18:11.610
Jason Mefford: For their children so that their children can have a better life than they did. And so even though it may, you know, from the outside, it may seem like, oh, you know, you’re

00:18:12.210 –> 00:18:22.350
Jason Mefford: You’re washing dishes or you’re mowing lawns, or you’re doing something your whole life. But that gives that person purpose because they see they’re leaving the world a better place.

00:18:22.860 –> 00:18:34.800
Jason Mefford: Than they came. Yeah, they’re not, you know, they’re not following a dream, you know, kind of thing, but they’re still making the world a better place. And, you know, Sean, like you said, we all have

00:18:35.580 –> 00:18:46.170
Jason Mefford: Our own path to go down. You know, there’s different mean the experiences you know if you going through the bankruptcy, you learn something from it it’s it’s horrible to go through that.

00:18:46.920 –> 00:18:51.720
Jason Mefford: But, you know, you learn something. It was the path that you were on and they made to the man who you are today.

00:18:53.460 –> 00:19:02.100
Kathy Gruver: I was listening to, I think, was NPR, a couple years back, and it must have been on Martin Luther King Day, and they were playing just his speeches over and over and over again.

00:19:02.340 –> 00:19:07.200
Kathy Gruver: Which was so inspirational and motivational and there was one of his speeches where he basically said, look,

00:19:07.560 –> 00:19:18.090
Kathy Gruver: You don’t have to be saving the world. You don’t have to be curing cancer you but you be the best damn whatever you are if you’re a street sweeper you’d be the best conscious streets.

00:19:18.750 –> 00:19:32.250
Kathy Gruver: butchering this talk, but I mean, but it was that sort of thing. It’s like, no man, no there is no small just like there’s no small part, there’s only a small actor kind of thing. It’s like you do whatever you do with grace and confidence and and

00:19:33.420 –> 00:19:37.350
Kathy Gruver: You know thankfulness and joy that was his message. And I thought, yeah.

00:19:38.430 –> 00:19:50.550
Kathy Gruver: We need everybody in this global play to make all this stuff happen. So for somebody that wants to find their purpose, though, what do you recommend like what’s the first step to this intentional living

00:19:51.060 –> 00:20:01.080
Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, well I think all of us. If someone is really challenged and they they’ve thought about it for a while and they really don’t know.

00:20:01.710 –> 00:20:10.320
Sean Rosensteel: My first step I always recommend like look at how you’re spending your time because sometimes finding purpose can can feel like

00:20:10.860 –> 00:20:20.820
Sean Rosensteel: You’re trying to read the label of a bottle from inside the bottle right it’s just hard because we’re so close, and we need to somehow, some way get out of that broaden our perspective, a bit

00:20:21.450 –> 00:20:28.680
Sean Rosensteel: But I oftentimes tell people to just focus on themselves and look at the areas that they spend the most time and

00:20:29.340 –> 00:20:47.310
Sean Rosensteel: So if I someone didn’t know and we looked at their calendar and we saw that in their calendar. They were volunteering twice a week for the past five years with an animal shelter that could give us some clues into what they’re passionate about. If someone was reading or if someone was

00:20:48.390 –> 00:21:00.210
Sean Rosensteel: You know coaching people on how to identify their best career, you know, I think there are clues. I think there are traces of some of those things. But we just get, you know, not caught, but we get into these routines and

00:21:00.630 –> 00:21:07.710
Sean Rosensteel: We become. It’s almost like this unconscious thing, right. So we have to create some awareness around that and bring that to someone’s consciousness.

00:21:08.250 –> 00:21:16.530
Sean Rosensteel: But chances are based on history, you can tell where people are passionate about and investing more of their time than not.

00:21:17.040 –> 00:21:34.980
Sean Rosensteel: And then you’ve got the issue were like back in my teenage years and in my 20s, I was abusing alcohol and, you know, going out multiple nights every week and blacking out and it was, you know, if you looked at my calendar. Back then it was sleeping and partying.

00:21:36.330 –> 00:21:41.250
Sean Rosensteel: So then you know you have to kind of, if it’s disempowering behavior, you have to kind of

00:21:42.000 –> 00:21:47.970
Sean Rosensteel: Look beyond it. Get behind it and say, Okay, what’s that all about. And for me it was like, well, I’m just looking to escape.

00:21:48.540 –> 00:21:55.710
Sean Rosensteel: I’m just looking to feel good. I’m just looking to numb. My nerves. I’m just looking to escape boredom, or you know whatever it was.

00:21:56.310 –> 00:22:10.710
Sean Rosensteel: Like okay, the vehicle. I’m using is a disempowering one. So what other vehicles. Might I enjoy using that actually empowers me and makes me feel even better and doesn’t hang me over the next morning and immobilize me until 2pm in the afternoon.

00:22:11.820 –> 00:22:20.820
Sean Rosensteel: So it’s a tough question. And I like it a lot. I think the starting point may be different for many of us, based on where we are.

00:22:21.510 –> 00:22:29.490
Sean Rosensteel: You know, a lot of us are in different stages as, as Jason mentioned seasons of life. I think the trick is to get ourselves out of survival mode.

00:22:30.150 –> 00:22:34.680
Sean Rosensteel: A lot of us are living paycheck to paycheck, not just in the financial column of our life, but

00:22:35.160 –> 00:22:44.850
Sean Rosensteel: With our health with our relationships. And I think it’s very hard to pursue anything or create or envision a compelling future for ourselves where when we’re

00:22:45.360 –> 00:22:55.380
Sean Rosensteel: Just trying to keep our heads above water and we’re in survival mode. So I think step one might be to just get somehow find a way to get us into a more stable, a place of stability.

00:22:55.830 –> 00:23:04.020
Sean Rosensteel: Where we’re making progress. We’re a little bit more discipline, maybe we have a little bit more structure and we’re improving certain areas of our lives that really matter to us.

00:23:04.740 –> 00:23:12.690
Sean Rosensteel: And sometimes when you get into that place. It’s easier to look ahead, it’s easier to set goals and get into some of those rhythms, where you can create that future for yourself. Right.

00:23:14.610 –> 00:23:21.930
Jason Mefford: Well, I wanted to come back to one of the words that you said before, you know, you said when you when you went to your parents told them about your bankruptcy.

00:23:22.560 –> 00:23:29.850
Jason Mefford: And they kind of gave you advice again in the word that I remember to there is responsible, right, that you’re the one that’s responsible

00:23:30.330 –> 00:23:41.130
Jason Mefford: And so when I, when I think about, you know, intentional living you know responsibility, I think, is has to be a huge piece of this, right, because if if we’re

00:23:42.300 –> 00:23:57.120
Jason Mefford: Intending for something to happen, we have to accept responsibility for our peace in this right. And again, if, if, if we look at it and say, hey, you know what, right now I’m in the season of my life. My kids are little

00:23:58.170 –> 00:24:11.430
Jason Mefford: I don’t want to be working crazy hours. Let’s say I so I’m going to choose right to maybe have a job that doesn’t pay as well maybe doesn’t fulfill me as much personally

00:24:11.910 –> 00:24:26.760
Jason Mefford: Because I’m choosing right to be there with my kids more and I’m response. I’m the one responsible for that, right, because so much of the time it seems like we get into this blame and excuse and denial

00:24:27.330 –> 00:24:34.560
Jason Mefford: And then we, you know, people complain about the life they have without ever taking responsibility or being intentional.

00:24:35.100 –> 00:24:43.980
Jason Mefford: Right about what you want and if you’re not intentional, then it’s kind of like, you know, it’s hard to complain. Right, you brought up politics before my parents always told me you know

00:24:44.400 –> 00:24:48.120
Jason Mefford: You can’t complain about you know the the political landscape. If you don’t vote.

00:24:48.720 –> 00:24:55.500
Jason Mefford: Right, if you don’t at least vote. You can’t bitch and moan about what’s going on because you’re not even doing your part.

00:24:55.890 –> 00:25:04.770
Jason Mefford: That you know that minimum minimum part, right. So, so how does that responsibility and everything kind of work in here and what you’re teaching with the intentional living, too.

00:25:05.400 –> 00:25:16.080
Sean Rosensteel: Well for me, that’s where it started was taking responsibility and people don’t, you know, no one likes to talk about personal responsibility. It’s like, well, I don’t, you know, I want to put the blame on others. So I often

00:25:16.650 –> 00:25:21.810
Sean Rosensteel: Kind of reframe that into taking charge because it sounds a little sexier.

00:25:23.010 –> 00:25:24.900
Sean Rosensteel: Let’s take charge right take ownership.

00:25:25.920 –> 00:25:30.600
Sean Rosensteel: But I think it definitely starts there and for a can and

00:25:31.680 –> 00:25:40.530
Sean Rosensteel: I like when I when I see the word responsibility. I remember who this was, but many years ago told me that’s simply your ability to respond.

00:25:41.700 –> 00:25:53.730
Sean Rosensteel: Responsibility, right, which it, which I like that. So, okay, my ability to respond. So thus far in my life. I haven’t been able to respond very well moving forward. I will respond better

00:25:54.570 –> 00:26:04.020
Sean Rosensteel: I will take charge of, you know, all the decisions I’ve made leading up to this moment. And from here on out. I will become more intentional and more purpose driven or whatever that looks like.

00:26:05.070 –> 00:26:11.700
Sean Rosensteel: But I think that helps. And I think there’s a process, people go through and I haven’t necessarily analyzed it for myself, but I think

00:26:12.120 –> 00:26:21.750
Sean Rosensteel: You know, lately I’ve been learning a lot about like self forgiveness. Right. So I think, you know, we all have to take, let’s say we lived in unintentional life for 50 years

00:26:22.320 –> 00:26:36.000
Sean Rosensteel: And we want to respond better moving forward. I think we have to take responsibility acknowledge our complacency or are drifting are going through the motions or whatever term you want to use.

00:26:36.690 –> 00:26:49.920
Sean Rosensteel: But then we have to we have to just accept it. We have to almost go through this acceptance period where okay I accept that those things happen. I made those decisions. They all led me to right where I am today.

00:26:50.640 –> 00:26:57.390
Sean Rosensteel: And then we have to take responsibility and then I think we have to be accountable moving forward and ultimately take action.

00:26:58.170 –> 00:27:04.770
Sean Rosensteel: But I think somewhere in there and again recently in the last 969 months I’ve been learning about like

00:27:05.430 –> 00:27:12.120
Sean Rosensteel: Forgiving myself and how important that is. We always talk about how it’s important to forgive others but it’s like well what about forgiving yourself.

00:27:12.570 –> 00:27:16.080
Sean Rosensteel: For some of those decisions that you made that you made today regret.

00:27:16.860 –> 00:27:26.130
Sean Rosensteel: And well, you didn’t have the learnings that you have now Hindsight is 2020 so be compassionate with yourself, how to be a little more patient and forgive yourself because

00:27:26.520 –> 00:27:42.720
Sean Rosensteel: You’re on a path here. And the very fact that you’re thinking this way. I think is a good sign. Like I mentioned, it might be a tap on the shoulder that there’s something I don’t want to say, bigger, better, but there’s something beyond your current circumstances, that’s waiting for you. Yeah.

00:27:43.050 –> 00:27:50.430
Kathy Gruver: Yeah. And I love that you talked about the forgiveness and sort of letting that go because if we look at our lives as sort of like a duffel bag and we only have so much space.

00:27:50.640 –> 00:27:55.380
Kathy Gruver: If you’re carrying around all this stuff from the past. If you’re carrying around all this regret all this guilt all this

00:27:56.010 –> 00:28:05.250
Kathy Gruver: Energy, then there’s no space for you to put all the good stuff in. So I think we, I think you’re right. That’s one of the first steps, at least in my mind is we have to let that stuff go that’s no longer serving us

00:28:05.490 –> 00:28:06.090
Sean Rosensteel: Whether it’s

00:28:06.420 –> 00:28:13.530
Kathy Gruver: A relationship or a job or a thought form, you know, if we don’t have space for all the new stuff, then we’re not going to get it as easily.

00:28:14.040 –> 00:28:14.910
Sean Rosensteel: Yeah, great point.

00:28:15.480 –> 00:28:20.940
Jason Mefford: Well, and I think it’s easy to let’s analogies this a little bit, right, because like you said, the self forgiveness.

00:28:21.630 –> 00:28:30.150
Jason Mefford: Is just as important. So, let’s say, Sean, you and I, you know, we’re in a relationship we do something I do something to piss you off, you do something to piss me off. Who knows, right.

00:28:30.570 –> 00:28:40.200
Jason Mefford: But there’s a strain in that relationship until I forgive you, or until you forgive me, it’s hard for our relationship to move forward. Right.

00:28:41.610 –> 00:28:51.840
Jason Mefford: And it’s the same thing with us as individuals. If we’re are not willing to forgive ourselves, how can we have that growth.

00:28:52.290 –> 00:29:01.710
Jason Mefford: And move and develop and transform ourselves if we’re still holding ourselves back we’re effectively. It’s a self grudge.

00:29:02.340 –> 00:29:07.650
Jason Mefford: If we don’t forgive ourselves. And so that’s why again self compassion self forgiveness is so important.

00:29:08.070 –> 00:29:14.100
Jason Mefford: And we usually forget it, you know, Jason. You’re so stupid, but not not about you know we that self taught goes in our head.

00:29:14.430 –> 00:29:25.110
Jason Mefford: And we got to get that out of there because just like any other relationship we have a relationship with ourself and if we can’t forgive yourself and move on. We’re holding ourselves back

00:29:25.530 –> 00:29:28.980
Sean Rosensteel: Great point. Yeah, I love that self grudge.

00:29:29.550 –> 00:29:29.970
Jason Mefford: Yeah.

00:29:30.420 –> 00:29:31.410
Jason Mefford: Yes. Is it

00:29:31.620 –> 00:29:33.480
Kathy Gruver: Self grunge, which is a totally different kind of

00:29:35.730 –> 00:29:49.230
Kathy Gruver: And without of course we are wrapping up our time since I’m the appointed time keeper, um, any final thoughts from you. Good. This has been a great conversation. As always, any final thoughts. How can we get ahold of you and your book and all that good stuff.

00:29:49.920 –> 00:29:57.240
Sean Rosensteel: Thank you. Yeah. Right. Thanks. So right now, if you go to my website. Sean Rosenstiel calm and hopefully you can spell that last name in the show notes.

00:29:58.230 –> 00:30:10.380
Sean Rosensteel: I’m doing like a free signed copy just pay shipping and handling and while you’re waiting on the book to arrive. You’ll also get a free PDF immediately via email so that you can begin reading and you don’t have to wait.

00:30:11.370 –> 00:30:16.440
Sean Rosensteel: So you can get it on Amazon, as well. Barnes and Noble, I mean, any place that books are sold online.

00:30:17.460 –> 00:30:24.870
Sean Rosensteel: You can get it there too. So I certainly appreciate the time here. Today on the show. This is a lot of fun. Absolutely. Great.

00:30:24.870 –> 00:30:27.600
Kathy Gruver: Conversation Jason, you always have the most brilliant thoughts to end.

00:30:28.200 –> 00:30:35.220
Jason Mefford: The brilliant Austin. Well, well, talking about intentional living right I just tried to like summarize a little bit but

00:30:36.030 –> 00:30:40.170
Jason Mefford: You know, it may be, if your life isn’t going quite where you want it to be going

00:30:40.860 –> 00:30:49.980
Jason Mefford: Then just let’s start being a little bit more intentional about it, you know, we talked about some of the things having awareness, you know, where are you spending your time. What are you kind of getting out of it.

00:30:50.370 –> 00:30:58.500
Jason Mefford: You know, be responsible. Forgive yourself, you know, think about really where you want to go and and realize that we’re all in different seasons.

00:30:59.070 –> 00:31:11.340
Jason Mefford: But let’s just try to make this world a better place than we came to write it. I love the analogy, even of the room. You know, I think you said it was your grandmother that said that if we can always

00:31:13.050 –> 00:31:24.660
Jason Mefford: Try to give and make this world better than it was before, right, because ultimately the question that you brought up to that we kind of skipped over a little bit. But, how may I serve

00:31:25.860 –> 00:31:40.920
Jason Mefford: If you answer that question to yourself even even on those little things. So again, we talked about getting stuck on the couches and example. And one of my mentors tells me he said you know in business, especially, it’s like, how can you serve the best for the next 15 minutes

00:31:42.060 –> 00:31:51.060
Jason Mefford: You know, don’t try to overthink all. What’s the most important thing, though. What’s, what’s the thing you can do for the next 15 minutes is going to survive right now.

00:31:51.780 –> 00:32:00.870
Jason Mefford: And and so adding that to it to you know that. What is my purpose right now. What can I do right now and then just start making some some changes.

00:32:01.530 –> 00:32:14.190
Jason Mefford: And. But yeah, Sean. Thank you so much for coming on here. Everybody go out, have a great week and start living more intentionally and we’ll catch you. Oh.

00:32:14.760 –> 00:32:15.450
Kathy Gruver: Hey, Jason.

00:32:15.840 –> 00:32:22.590
Jason Mefford: I know I screwed up the end after 100 episodes I just screwed up the end I’m, I’m Jason

00:32:23.790 –> 00:32:25.260
Jason Mefford: Jason effort com

00:32:25.980 –> 00:32:26.970
Kathy Gruver: The destructive one today.

00:32:28.530 –> 00:32:30.570
Kathy Gruver: I can be reached a Kathy rumor.com

00:32:32.460 –> 00:32:36.840
Jason Mefford: So with that, go out and we’ll catch you on the next fire and earth podcast. So, yeah.

00:32:37.410 –> 00:32:37.770

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