This is another tables-are-turned episode where Jason Mefford is interviewed by Angela Noelle for the Reclaim Your FIRE Podcast.
In this episode, Jason is being interviewd by Angela to discuss how to have a stress free work environment and to help others break free from that feeling of being a slave to corporate culture.
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Connect with Angela on Instagram at: i.am.angela.noelle or on her website: https://angelanoelleinternational.com/ and check out her #podcast Reclaim Your F.I.R.E.
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Angela Noelle: Hello fire goddesses welcome to another episode Okay, I have to say that I am really, really excited about my next guest for a few reasons I will quickly discover, first of all, this is my very first male guest.
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Angela Noelle: And second of all i’ve known Jason now for about a year and a half or so correct Jason and I just love his energy I love what he has to offer, we just had a quick chat before pressing record.
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Angela Noelle: And i’m really excited to introduce you all to my next guest Jason medford hi Jason how are you.
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Jason Mefford: i’m doing well Angela how are you and it’s quite it’s quite an honor I get to be the first male so i’m bringing some testosterone into the group right.
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Angela Noelle: yeah yes absolutely 100% like this is a real treat and I love what you offer and bring to the table so first of all, before we go any farther I would love, if you could just tell the audience a little about who you are Jason and how you help people.
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Jason Mefford: yeah so i’ve got i’ve got several different businesses, actually, that I run but, but most of it all really kind of comes back to helping people learn right, so I have some training companies.
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Jason Mefford: But also helping people kind of get out of fear and the anxiety and everything else that ends up happening because you know in specifically usually towards corporate employees, because that’s where I spent most of my time I was an executive at some big companies.
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Jason Mefford: In what I found is you know we like to think that we have boundaries around work life balance, but we don’t right, I mean we’re just who we are and if we have a bad day at work, not sure can I swear on here to or not okay.
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Jason Mefford: I was gonna say shitty day at work right because that that that kind of hits it more than just a bad day then chances are we’re going to come home.
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Jason Mefford: Right well we’re going to come home and depending on the energy and what was going on where we spend the majority of our waking hours spills over into our personal life.
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Jason Mefford: So if I come home i’m mad I kick the dog I yell at the kids whatever that energy, you know permeates into everything else I do plus you know we feel pretty bad about ourselves and that’s you know I think one of the problems is.
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Jason Mefford: kind of, say, you know corporate slavery is alive and well.
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Jason Mefford: I know you’re not supposed to use the word slavery, but.
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Jason Mefford: You know a lot of people feel like they’re really stuck in their job they hate going into work, they hate seeing their boss.
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Jason Mefford: And so you know, trying to help people not have to feel that way to give them the hope and realize things can be different, even if you’re working for somebody else right because it’s more about you than it is about them.
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Angela Noelle: i’m so glad you mentioned that right, because I know i’ve had corporate jobs before in jobs in general, where i’ve worked for other people and there’s always this.
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Angela Noelle: i’d say most of the time this drama.
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Angela Noelle: associate associated like oh my gosh I hate that person or oh my gosh the boss is here like look busy, like all that that stuff that goes on in corporate in work, culture and I love love love, how you said that it’s really not about the other person it’s about.
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Angela Noelle: it’s about you right it starts everything starts with you, so I would love to know a little bit more about how you when you’re working with corporations like how you teach that to people and help them with that.
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Jason Mefford: yeah so the one the one thing that I like to do is use use some analogies and the one that I like to use is the mirror right and you’ve you’ve kind of heard this too from some of the programs we’ve been together is that life reflects you.
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Jason Mefford: And so, if you are so, for example, if you’re a leader or you’re somebody who’s supervising somebody else.
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Jason Mefford: And, and they come in, you know this this employee comes in and they’re in a bad mood or they’re irritable or their whatever right.
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Jason Mefford: If they’re reflecting that to you chances are the reason they’re doing that, as you’re reflecting that to them.
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Jason Mefford: And so, and so so much of this is.
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Jason Mefford: You know, taking that personal responsibility and getting your own shit together because, as you change your internal world, you will change the world around you right.
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Jason Mefford: And so it’s trying to help give people, some of these tools right because because, again I you know I work with a lot of executives and they always come in and it’s like oh.
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Jason Mefford: here’s a real life example Okay, I was, I was, I was having a coaching call with an executive a couple weeks ago and and she came in and we were talking about a particular employee that she was having problems with okay.
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Jason Mefford: So we started talking about the employee she gave me a little bit more detail and about you know 10 minutes into it, I said, you know what you don’t have an employee problem.
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Jason Mefford: You have a relationship problem, and she said what and I said, the reason your employee is acting the way she is.
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Jason Mefford: Why she’s doing the things that you don’t like her to do is you don’t have a strong enough relationship with that employee, where she can feel like she can be honest and open with you that’s why you’re having the issues.
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Jason Mefford: it’s not a her problem.
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Jason Mefford: it’s a huge problem you haven’t done what you need to do to develop that relationship so you can have that open and honest communication.
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Angela Noelle: And this is so, so common in the workplace, I mean so so common so i’m i’m just curious to know you know when it’s a leadership problem and you save it and you say this to these people these corporate execs right i’m assuming they’re high up there right.
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Angela Noelle: And you know we learn in a program we were both in about being internally referenced versus externally referenced right like sometimes people don’t when you’re in turn when you’re informed by yourself right some people don’t always take that very well, so how do they.
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Jason Mefford: handle that feedback.
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Jason Mefford: Well that’s where you try to ask the questions right you try to lead people with the questions because that’s that’s one of the things that I try to teach people to as some of the influencing skills yeah you know how to have some of those conversations because.
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Jason Mefford: You know I could I could sit there and and try to convince somebody but i’m not going to convince anybody.
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Jason Mefford: Just like they’re not going to convince their employees right.
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Jason Mefford: So you ask certain questions so they come to their own conclusion right.
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Jason Mefford: yeah and one of the problems is you know it’s it’s another tool I teach people and we’ve learned this too is about stories right is that it, especially in the corporate world we are.
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Jason Mefford: We use we use the word power.
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Jason Mefford: But really in the corporate world it’s force not power you’re forcing someone to do something you’re controlling someone right These are words that we use and we teach people in the corporate world to use this force and coercion to get things done.
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Jason Mefford: Now, the reason for that.
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Jason Mefford: Okay, most especially here in the US and it’s really kind of true everywhere in the world, because I worked all over the world.
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Jason Mefford: is most organizations run on a command and control mentality now, why do they run on command and control, because with after the Second World War was over.
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Jason Mefford: We had millions of people who had served in the military come home and apply those military concepts in the organizations that they work for.
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Jason Mefford: that’s why we have hierarchy ill, we have you know titles, we have all of these other things because that’s what we were taught that’s what we’ve continued to teach for a long time.
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Jason Mefford: And the problem is it kills people it literally kills people to do that both the person as the leader and also the person who’s the follower.
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Jason Mefford: right because.
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Jason Mefford: Because another thing that we have to remember is and i’ve seen this in my own personal life.
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Jason Mefford: Is that a lot of times.
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Jason Mefford: We try to tell people that it’s not okay to be themselves.
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Jason Mefford: We tell people that you have to do things a certain way, even if that’s not in our nature, and so the problem is if i’m a kind and loving person, which I am.
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Jason Mefford: And I get told that I have to do something that is mean.
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Jason Mefford: or or that is that I know is going to be hurtful to someone else, but I just have to pull up my big boy pants and that’s what I have to do right leader does that well there’s there’s different ways that you can do things right.
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Jason Mefford: yeah and so it’s how you choose to do it and being authentic to who you are is one of those things that’s going to decouple you from this and and and what i’ll what i’ll share is you know, one of the.
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Jason Mefford: One of the jobs that I had was in what’s called public accounting I worked for the largest accounting firm in the world at the time Arthur Andersen.
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Jason Mefford: Arthur Andersen got themselves in trouble because of Enron and we ended up going out of business, very quickly, because of some of that stuff now, the problem was I had tied my own personal self worth to my job.
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Angela Noelle: Yes.
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Jason Mefford: And so, when you do that, and then you watch the company around you disintegrate.
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Jason Mefford: Or we get told things you know, like this, this was a lie that we got told, but I had to I had to lie, because I was one of the leaders right is you know, we had to convince everybody in our company to stay.
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Jason Mefford: Because things weren’t looking good people were going to leave, and so we got told look we, we have to have a critical mass of people if we’re going to sell ourselves to some of the other firms.
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Jason Mefford: So we have to keep people so tell people we’re not firing anybody you got to hold on you got to do all this stuff so we got to the point, we did a deal and what do you think happened a week or two later now we’re going to fire a bunch of people.
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Jason Mefford: yeah right so so that’s not true to who I was did that eat me up inside oh yeah right.
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Jason Mefford: And and there’s so many people that the end up in that situation they don’t feel like they can be themselves authentically and it’s literally killing them, you know, so another thing that I teach people is just be yourself.
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Jason Mefford: You know there’s nothing wrong with being weird or a little bit different.
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Jason Mefford: we’re all that way.
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Jason Mefford: Right you don’t have to fit some stereotypical mold and you can be an amazing leader and amazing person exactly the way you are right, I love, Mr Rogers.
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Jason Mefford: yeah she’s so that’s.
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Jason Mefford: One of the things that I grew up with, and that I try to tell people, as well as.
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Jason Mefford: Your special exactly the way you are and it’s Okay, and you don’t have to be any anybody different.
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Angela Noelle: yeah i’m so glad that there’s people like you out there in the world Jason that are you are doing the work that you’re doing, specifically in corporations, because I know.
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Angela Noelle: mean you mentioned, even the you know, the people in leadership and the you know the people that are being led are literally.
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Angela Noelle: dying you sorry, you said it’s killing them right because of all the stress associated with not showing up authentically being in fear fearing you know that you’re going to be whatever shamed ridicule losing your job, and I think that’s just a really powerful message.
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Angela Noelle: Not only for corporate America but because a majority of the people that in the world are working for corporate America still they still work for other people.
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Angela Noelle: And I know that I have witnessed that in jobs where it’s like oh my like i’ve treated people in my acupuncture practice because I was in Boston and you know talk about Taipei city right.
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Jason Mefford: ne ne.
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Angela Noelle: Oh it’s fast paced crazy crazy and.
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Angela Noelle: Most of my patients worked these high pressure jobs and they would come into my office and I was often treating I mean most of the time I was treating stress.
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Angela Noelle: And manifestations of stress, whether it be you know intense body muscular skeletal pain.
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Angela Noelle: You know they come in, like this, like know with their on their shoulders are literally attached to their ears and.
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Angela Noelle: The list goes on and on, and it can get really it can become very, very unhealthy and toxic for these people so i’m so happy to hear that you’re offering people this opportunity because, like you said.
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Angela Noelle: it’s we’re meant to be weird we’re not meant to all walk around in the same like you know suit and tie and wear the same clothes and.
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Angela Noelle: To be able to embrace.
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Angela Noelle: Who, we are can actually not only make the person happier, but it can also just make the workspace happier right when you don’t have enough, you know i’d love if we could dive into that just the energy in a workplace when people are happy versus unhappy.
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Jason Mefford: Well, and i’ll and i’ll give you a real life story of Jason okay to kind of to kind of.
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Jason Mefford: illustrate some of this for for kind of the reason why i’m doing this as well Okay, so I was an executive big pretty big company people would know what it is, but if you eat out in a restaurant once or twice a month, you would have eaten some of our product right.
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Jason Mefford: And so lot of responsibilities we get a new CEO in which I didn’t agree with some of the direction that he was wanting.
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Jason Mefford: To take things okay so obviously there’s some contention, and some other stuff that was going on in there, but I didn’t have some of the tools that I teach people Okay, and so I was trying to deal with it the best I knew, which was without any help right.
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Jason Mefford: And so you know, a couple of things ended up happening to the point to where.
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Jason Mefford: I came out of one meeting up on the executive floor went into the stairwell to go back down to my office and I just started feeling very anxious when I lead the meat left the meeting right because I knew that.
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Jason Mefford: There were some things that were going to not be so good for Jason after that meeting and I went into the stairwell.
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Jason Mefford: And like I said I was just getting really anxious I got into the stairwell and all of a sudden, I just leaned up against the wall and I couldn’t move.
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Jason Mefford: And I had a panic attack in the stairwell right it’s like I got to get out of here, but I can’t move, you know all my senses were going crazy I could smell the concrete and the iron.
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Jason Mefford: You know in in in this, you know that access stairwell but I couldn’t move right and at the same time, I mean I was on high blood pressure, medicine.
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Jason Mefford: I was on antidepressants.
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Jason Mefford: I was in a marriage, that was headed for divorce, and so you know, within and again, those are not all excuses, but you know within a one month time I lost my job and I got divorced.
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Jason Mefford: So that’s the kind of real pressure and things that people are living with you know when we’ve got.
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Jason Mefford: research studies that are showing 80% of people in the US are significantly stressed that’s serious folks I mean that’s that’s like serious.
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Jason Mefford: And, and you know, again, I mean kind of so that’s I don’t want people to go through that.
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Jason Mefford: But a lot of times we sometimes have to go through that before we actually wake up, which is unfortunate.
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Jason Mefford: right but kind of back to your question, well, what can we do different well there’s a lot of things we can actually do different in the workplace and.
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Jason Mefford: In certain companies are starting to recognize this and it goes about three three years ago now, I went to a workflow mind place summit.
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Jason Mefford: Right, so it was it was actually some of the biggest companies in the world, talking about how can we change the workplace and allow for some of these things to come in and again mindfulness is a big term means a lot of things to different people but.
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Jason Mefford: what’s amazing is that you know people find out that you know what if you if you allow people to take breaks.
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Jason Mefford: If you allow people to stop and meditate for five or 10 minutes if you make a place so that you know they can go in and do yoga or something like that you know, on a break when when you allow space and you are not so frenetic in what you’re trying to do you actually get better productivity.
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Angela Noelle: Exactly.
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Jason Mefford: Because this is what happens and again there’s been lots of research studies about this people think that by working more you get more productivity.
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Jason Mefford: But you don’t in fact after 50 hours a week and i’ve worked way more than 50 hours a week, every additional hour you spend you’re taking away from your overall productivity.
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Jason Mefford: and
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Jason Mefford: In what’s interesting right so again, is to bring in some of the science and the psychology to it, especially now, this last little while with everybody working from home.
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Jason Mefford: A lot of the executives like whoa we got to get people back in the office we got to have our finger on them because they’re not actually doing any work unless we’re watching them.
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Jason Mefford: Well, interestingly enough, an employee in the office is productive about 50% of the time when the boss, is there with their finger.
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Jason Mefford: At home, where they have a little bit more space they have a little bit more flexibility they’re more like 60% productive.
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Jason Mefford: And they’re willing to actually work more because they don’t have the hour two hour commute each way.
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Jason Mefford: Exactly, and so what people have seen going through this last little while is, I never want to go back to the fucking office right it stresses me out.
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Jason Mefford: Now there’s going to be a balance right, but, but again what we’re seeing is it doesn’t have to be the way it is.
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Jason Mefford: And part of it is allowing people to be who they are instead of trying to fit everybody in the in the box.
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Jason Mefford: Focusing on relationships, instead of transactions.
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Jason Mefford: So this is another thing you know, we think that to be more productive we’ve got to just check things off our to do list right and we got to be productive and I remember getting told early in my career Jason you’re very productive, but you run people over.
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Jason Mefford: You don’t want to hear that from your boss right.
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Jason Mefford: Like the first parts great.
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Jason Mefford: So I have to learn right and sometimes we have to make choices of hey i’m sitting across from Angela she’s a human being.
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Jason Mefford: I need to treat her like a human being, I need to focus more on our relationship as human beings.
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Jason Mefford: and things will work out, but if you don’t have that relationship, if everything is transactional in nature.
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Jason Mefford: It never works that way right, because then we feel like a number ID bring in Bob seger here feeling like a number.
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Jason Mefford: No, I was gonna say is also a musician if you haven’t already know.
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Jason Mefford: But it’s but it’s.
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Jason Mefford: When we’re only good for transactions, we feel like a transaction.
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Angela Noelle: yeah yeah.
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Angela Noelle: and
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Angela Noelle: You know what i’m hearing you say, and I think a lot of people have since this for a long time, is that this command and control culture that showed up in the 40s and 50s is way out it’s like what 75 years old right.
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Jason Mefford: way out.
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Jason Mefford: way out of date.
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Angela Noelle: it’s old school so it’s time to say goodbye to that and welcome in a new work culture, and I know my my husband works for a corporation, and I see how they really support their employees and give them, you know.
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Angela Noelle: The the freedom to you know work where they want when they want to a little bit more than maybe it’s a tech company, and I know tech companies are a little different than.
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Angela Noelle: You know, financial companies and the more conservative.
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Angela Noelle: Companies but um and you also mentioned the the word choice, which is a word that.
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Angela Noelle: I love choice, life is choice right, so we know when it comes to the workplace right, how do you do you teach your clients, the idea that everything is choice.
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Jason Mefford: yeah I mean we’re we’re ultimately responsible for everything yeah.
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Jason Mefford: Right and and I think sometimes too it’s it’s we get.
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Jason Mefford: We feel like we have to do something, because we’re told we have to do it.
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Jason Mefford: Yes, all right and that goes back to that command and control programming hey if the general asked you to jump you know when the middle of the air you’re asking how high Sir right, I mean that’s the old joke right.
00:23:56.130 –> 00:24:03.060
Jason Mefford: Yes, instead of you know today where it’s like well i’m sorry server, why do you want me to jump.
00:24:04.260 –> 00:24:16.320
Jason Mefford: Right this isn’t life and death right if we’re in a battle, and we can die command and control might might be more important, but what we’re doing is not and.
00:24:17.070 –> 00:24:35.490
Jason Mefford: You know, it should be okay to question, it should be okay to you know, bring up some of those things now we have to realize obviously and be responsible for whatever choice we may make, but I think you know, this is another thing to where we’ve really had people.
00:24:36.780 –> 00:24:45.330
Jason Mefford: effectively in slavery right working for these companies because it’s like well I can’t get another job because, if I you know I don’t have enough in my savings that.
00:24:45.780 –> 00:24:55.380
Jason Mefford: You know if I go without work for a while, you know I can’t pay my rent or my health insurance is with my employer right that’s a little trick.
00:24:55.680 –> 00:24:56.940
Angela Noelle: That people yeah that.
00:24:56.940 –> 00:25:03.660
Jason Mefford: They have to hold on to you in and what we’re seeing just in the marketplace in general is.
00:25:04.290 –> 00:25:07.740
Jason Mefford: employees have the power now.
00:25:09.180 –> 00:25:27.690
Jason Mefford: The employer always used to have the power, you do what I tell you to do, or else i’m going to fire you right Well now, I don’t care if you’re going to fire me right, so we all have a choice and, and again I don’t want to you know, make it.
00:25:28.740 –> 00:25:38.220
Jason Mefford: seem like well if you’re not happy, in your job just go get another job because that won’t work either right so so one of the partners that I used to work with.
00:25:39.510 –> 00:25:51.030
Jason Mefford: You told me a story once where he’s like you know, I was, I was because public accounting York a lot of hours and during busy times of the year we’d put in Haiti 90 hours sometimes so wasn’t sleeping very much.
00:25:51.090 –> 00:25:51.540
Angela Noelle: Right now.
00:25:52.530 –> 00:25:57.120
Jason Mefford: And, and he told me one time, he says, you know I left public accounting and went into corporate world.
00:25:57.750 –> 00:26:07.290
Jason Mefford: Because Oh, you know corporate or public accounting is making me work too much right, so he went into corporation, and then he came back to public accounting.
00:26:08.250 –> 00:26:28.590
Jason Mefford: And he told me said I realize it wasn’t public accounting, it was me that was working those hours right and so again ultimately it’s like that’s where the mirror comes in folks right is again if you’re not happy, where you’re at why aren’t you happy.
00:26:31.020 –> 00:26:48.570
Jason Mefford: Is it, is it really your employer, is it really your boss, or is it the way you’re showing up or not showing up that’s really the problem because, again, as I said before, it’s usually not a vm problem it’s a huge problem.
00:26:49.890 –> 00:27:01.830
Angela Noelle: yeah and you know I feel like just because of generations of going through this, I know I was reading something about even just the going back as far as the Industrial Revolution, the reason why we are in such this masculine.
00:27:02.400 –> 00:27:10.620
Angela Noelle: You know, and some time and it’s a buzzword now the toxic masculine culture right comes as far back probably even farther than that right, where.
00:27:11.070 –> 00:27:17.100
Angela Noelle: People you know, like there were jobs are things to do in order to survive, you to get these jobs and you have to work hard.
00:27:17.730 –> 00:27:24.930
Angela Noelle: And now I just feel like we’re in this very pivotal exciting time where people are starting to realize.
00:27:25.830 –> 00:27:36.630
Angela Noelle: hey like you said, we can choose and if I don’t like what’s going on in the workplace, a I can make a choice and.
00:27:37.170 –> 00:27:53.730
Angela Noelle: i’m not going to die right and I feel like going back to that toxic masculinity that was that came with a belief system that I mean even like mine, my dad talks about how he was raised by you know my grandfather who’s who’s from the greatest you know.
00:27:54.120 –> 00:28:06.540
Angela Noelle: generation generation and that generation, they were a byproduct of you know, children are to be seen and not heard and that’s you know there’s no there’s no negotiation there that’s just the way it is and so.
00:28:07.770 –> 00:28:18.930
Angela Noelle: Knowing that when I feel that, when you have this understanding of where it comes from, and that we’re still living this paradigm that’s like super outdated.
00:28:19.500 –> 00:28:29.520
Angela Noelle: seeing how people are getting sick like literally physically sick, you know there’s experts out there that talk about the time you know.
00:28:30.840 –> 00:28:39.270
Angela Noelle: illness and disease and healing is all about, you know what’s going on in our heads, but I feel like choice is a very powerful.
00:28:40.290 –> 00:28:47.280
Angela Noelle: to know that you have that agency, I think that’s where i’m trying to bring it back to the idea of agency is that.
00:28:49.830 –> 00:28:56.310
Angela Noelle: I don’t believe that we were really taught or so many people were taught to know that we have power, and we have agency.
00:28:56.670 –> 00:29:15.540
Angela Noelle: to live our own lives, like we’re always worried about it, you know Look how it seeps into meeting the you know external validation social media, it can go on and on and on um, but I feel that this is going to be really helpful to the goddesses and maybe the gods listening now.
00:29:17.370 –> 00:29:39.480
Jason Mefford: Well, and then I mean you, you know to I mean with with your audience as well, I mean we know that the you know words like toxic masculinity okay i’m a man I i’m not one of those men Okay, but, but we know that there is a shifting of the energy on the planet.
00:29:40.860 –> 00:29:55.680
Jason Mefford: And for 500 years we’ve been under mainly masculine energy influence it has changed right it’s been changing there’s been some things the last few years that have really.
00:29:56.460 –> 00:30:05.730
Jason Mefford: push that forward, and you know again part of that is command and control is a masculine energy form of leadership.
00:30:06.270 –> 00:30:24.720
Jason Mefford: That is not going to be successful in the future because that’s not the energy paradigm that we’re living on in this world right and things are not black and white that’s that’s another thing that so many people like to believe and in we feel like.
00:30:26.190 –> 00:30:38.160
Jason Mefford: Most of the time we don’t choose we decide we decide, based on the choices that are given to us right would you like chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream.
00:30:38.550 –> 00:30:47.130
Jason Mefford: Well i’d like neither one, thank you very much, I like cookies and cream better right, but we feel like we’re only stuck with that that it kind of reminds me, it was a.
00:30:48.450 –> 00:31:05.880
Jason Mefford: It popped into my head So here we go somebody’s supposed to hear this story, but when I was i’ve always been one to kind of see the world differently than other people, which makes me a little different right because I cry bullshit when I see bullshit okay and, and so I remember.
00:31:08.160 –> 00:31:10.380
Jason Mefford: I remember when I was a teenager I was in high school.
00:31:11.640 –> 00:31:26.250
Jason Mefford: And I was in German class so German, English or German language class right and our teacher was having a bad day she was kind of stressed out this girl across the room was making like funny faces at me and I started laughing.
00:31:27.420 –> 00:31:34.650
Jason Mefford: So you know she she took it out on me right Jason go out in the hall right you’ve been a bad kid go out in the hall right.
00:31:35.400 –> 00:31:44.940
Jason Mefford: And so I go out in the hall, and after a while, one of the students sticks their head out the door and says hey for our when blake says, you can come back in now if you’d like to.
00:31:46.860 –> 00:31:50.250
Jason Mefford: write notice the words you can come back in now if you’d like to.
00:31:51.300 –> 00:31:52.380
Jason Mefford: So I just sat in the hall.
00:31:53.880 –> 00:31:59.940
Jason Mefford: And a few minutes later she comes out and round round round round round round why didn’t you come back in when I told you to come back you.
00:32:00.630 –> 00:32:14.430
Jason Mefford: know you said come back in if I feel like coming back in I didn’t feel like coming back in go to the principal’s office blah blah blah blah blah blah blah right, so I go down to the principal’s office first well second time i’ve been in the principal’s Office, my whole life.
00:32:15.480 –> 00:32:26.340
Jason Mefford: explain the story and the principles like really that’s why you’re here right but but, again, it was I could have just done what I was told.
00:32:27.390 –> 00:32:28.590
Jason Mefford: But I chose something different.
00:32:29.820 –> 00:32:40.140
Jason Mefford: We all have the power to choose, we there will be consequences for whatever we choose, but we have, as long as we’re accept that and responsible for that that’s okay.
00:32:41.340 –> 00:32:47.190
Angela Noelle: And for people out there that are like yeah there’s consequences and then that is what i’m afraid of.
00:32:49.980 –> 00:33:00.480
Angela Noelle: So I feel like that is, that is, the kicker right because and we’re we know each other from the same community, where we talked about these kinds of things, all the time.
00:33:00.930 –> 00:33:23.040
Angela Noelle: There are consequences, and there are there are difficulties in life, and that is where my friend, the lessons life is you know, is working through these these consequences as a result of the choices that we make as individuals and to know that, while there is going to be.
00:33:24.510 –> 00:33:38.970
Angela Noelle: Things that come up that are not going to feel good, that is where the growth happens and so many people I know because people are reaching out to me and my DNS and my you know Facebook messenger and saying help you know.
00:33:40.140 –> 00:33:51.180
Angela Noelle: So, and so my mom’s not accepting me for my choices to do a B and C or whatever it is what should I do and there’s so much of that going on, but to know that if you’re not happy, in your life.
00:33:52.050 –> 00:34:05.310
Angela Noelle: That is a choice, and you can make different choices you pay the consequences, but where will, where do you where Where would you rather be you know stuck worrying about what people think of you or free.
00:34:06.420 –> 00:34:19.710
Jason Mefford: Well, in most of the time right, I mean this goes to the past, present future states right if we’re if we’re thinking, the future then we’re worried potentially or anxious about something that may or may not happen.
00:34:20.880 –> 00:34:30.330
Jason Mefford: And, most of the time it ain’t gonna happen okay so usually the worst thing that we think is going to happen is not what happens.
00:34:31.560 –> 00:34:49.260
Jason Mefford: And like you said, the growth comes from making mistakes that aren’t really mistakes that’s how we that’s how we grow and learn right, and so we just have to be willing to go on the ride and see where it takes us, because at the end of the day, we’re not going to die right.
00:34:50.070 –> 00:35:00.510
Jason Mefford: I had to go to the principal’s office oh I didn’t die right, you know if if somebody’s having an issue with people not accepting them.
00:35:01.830 –> 00:35:15.390
Jason Mefford: Okay what’s the worst that’s going to happen, they may not accept you, but a whole other group of people are going to very much except you right and you and I know that from firsthand experience too.
00:35:15.390 –> 00:35:16.830
Angela Noelle: yeah yeah there are.
00:35:17.850 –> 00:35:26.760
Angela Noelle: always going to be so many people out there that are going to love you for who you are but that happens when you decide to choose yourself first.
00:35:27.420 –> 00:35:43.260
Angela Noelle: And Jason what I mean I just love the impact that you’re making in the world and helping all these folks with corporate jobs, I know that people are going to hear this episode and really just resonate so many people have been in fear.
00:35:44.310 –> 00:35:53.430
Angela Noelle: for whatever reason, in their job and are going to relate to what we talked about what we are talking about So do you have any.
00:35:54.270 –> 00:36:05.910
Angela Noelle: You know, quick tips for people that are in jobs and they’re not happy they’re stock they’re noticing it’s affecting their health, they don’t like their boss, do you have any like quick.
00:36:06.600 –> 00:36:07.860
Jason Mefford: Quick quick little tips.
00:36:08.100 –> 00:36:08.640
Angela Noelle: yeah.
00:36:09.570 –> 00:36:10.410
Jason Mefford: Well, some of you know.
00:36:11.580 –> 00:36:17.790
Jason Mefford: One of the biggest ones that is so simple that people think oh this doesn’t work it’s just brief.
00:36:19.350 –> 00:36:27.240
Jason Mefford: If we just stop and breathe, so I even do this when i’m when i’m on stage, giving speeches right and people probably think that I am wacko NUTS so.
00:36:27.900 –> 00:36:36.480
Jason Mefford: When I start off at the beginning, right, like last week, I was given a speech, and so I had everybody put their hands in the air waving like you just don’t care right kind of thing.
00:36:37.110 –> 00:36:47.580
Jason Mefford: And I said okay now sit up you know hands on your hands on your thighs close your eyes breathe right and we went through and actually had them breathe for 30 seconds.
00:36:48.360 –> 00:36:57.000
Jason Mefford: totally different energy feel in that right, because so much of the time we’re stuck in the future the past and we’re not in the present.
00:36:57.750 –> 00:37:08.340
Jason Mefford: breathing and closing your eyes allows you even just for 10 seconds 30 seconds a minute right if you’ve got an iowa or a watch apple watch right.
00:37:08.850 –> 00:37:19.230
Jason Mefford: it’s bugging you all day to breathe there’s a reason for that right so that’s a very, very simple thing that you can do anywhere anytime.
00:37:20.070 –> 00:37:27.420
Jason Mefford: If you just need a break, you know another another quick easy thing to especially for people that are office workers is.
00:37:28.110 –> 00:37:37.020
Jason Mefford: You know when you’re feeling stuck or you’re feeling anxious do a what’s called a hemisphere i’ll switch which is if your legs are crossed one way.
00:37:37.590 –> 00:37:48.450
Jason Mefford: i’m crossing crossing the next way or wave your hands or do something, just to move your body, a little bit because the other thing is.
00:37:49.020 –> 00:37:57.960
Jason Mefford: You know, we spend so much of our time in our head, but we also have a heart, and we have a gut and the problem is, if you want to get out of your head.
00:37:58.650 –> 00:38:18.060
Jason Mefford: think it into your heart or get into your gut feel or do right so head heart gut think feel do, and so one of the quickest ways to you know make make the shift it’s just move just move for.
00:38:19.260 –> 00:38:31.620
Jason Mefford: 30 seconds and and you’re it’s it’s literally like your brain kind of reboots itself at that point, and then and then just focus on what happens to be right ahead of you.
00:38:33.990 –> 00:38:44.310
Angela Noelle: So, simple and I feel like we as humans overcomplicate things all the time, and we think that, in order to change, we need to you know do all these crazy things and really it’s.
00:38:44.850 –> 00:38:48.780
Jason Mefford: I have to go to a Zen Buddhist retreat for 12 days of silence, no.
00:38:49.260 –> 00:38:51.360
Jason Mefford: All you gotta do is breathe for 30 seconds.
00:38:51.930 –> 00:39:00.870
Angela Noelle: yeah and you have that Zen Buddhist retreat within you at any time through the breath, so I love those tips Jason Thank you so much, and.
00:39:01.260 –> 00:39:09.300
Angela Noelle: How can people find you who you know they’re listening and they’re like you know I really want to know more How can people look you up reach out to you.
00:39:10.080 –> 00:39:18.210
Jason Mefford: So, probably the easiest way is on my website, so I do, I do have a podcast as well, but if you go to Jason medford calm.
00:39:19.050 –> 00:39:26.940
Jason Mefford: You can pretty much find for em at different places I got YouTube and i’m all over you know different places, but that’s a good place for you to start.
00:39:27.780 –> 00:39:40.140
Jason Mefford: At that point there’s even a contact thing on there too, if you want to reach out social media and mainly on linkedin but you know again i’m trying to have more of a presence on Facebook and maybe at some point I will and instagram to.
00:39:41.220 –> 00:39:46.770
Jason Mefford: websites websites The easiest way to kind of find me, or at least cyber stalk me.
00:39:47.190 –> 00:39:49.380
Jason Mefford: and find all the other stuff that i’m doing so.
00:39:50.670 –> 00:40:08.760
Angela Noelle: Jason Thank you so so much i’m so grateful for having this opportunity to talk to you today, and thank you for talking to all the goddesses and maybe the gods listening and i’m going to link up your contact information into the show notes Thank you so so much.
00:40:09.150 –> 00:40:09.750
Jason Mefford: Thank you.
00:40:11.220 –> 00:40:23.970
Angela Noelle: And two goddesses For those of you listening remember to be radiant be powerfully authentic and know that you can reclaim your fire at any time until next time take care.