For a lot of people it can be easy to find themselves in a rut, feel stuck, or that the entire world has burned down around them.
I know I have felt this way before, and our guest, Staci Ogle, has felt this way also.
Today we’re going to discuss how compassion towards yourself can make large strides in repairing all the damage that life may deal to you.
Reach out to Staci on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/iamcoachstaci/) or her website: staciogle.com
Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/jammingwithjason237/
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Jason Mefford: Well, I gotta tell you I am excited about today’s episode, because I have my friend Stacey ogle with me.
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Jason Mefford: And I got to tell you this is one of those that you know, again, we should have hit record long before we actually hit record but anyway, it is what it is right.
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Jason Mefford: But I gotta tell you, you know if you’re like most people sometimes you probably get down on yourself, you say some things in your head to yourself, and maybe put yourself down or you’ve gone through the wringer.
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Jason Mefford: And sometimes you know you you burn everything down or you feel like you’re trying to climb out of a hole.
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Jason Mefford: That you’ve gotten yourself into and so i’m excited today to talk to Stacy because we’re going to talk more about kind of compassion and self care and kind of cleansing yourself of some of this stuff.
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Jason Mefford: And they’re really the way to get out is through that and she has an amazing story in a lot of expertise that she’s going to share with you as well today so again let’s get into it let’s roll at episode.
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Jason Mefford: Alright Stacy.
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Jason Mefford: How you doing i’m good you’re on the hot seat girl here we go you ready.
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Jason Mefford: Though I I appreciate you and appreciate the energy that you bring in the beautiful person that you are.
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Jason Mefford: You know as well, and so I was excited to find out that you actually help people with kind of compassion and self care so i’ll let you talk a little bit about that, but it’s.
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Jason Mefford: it’s an important topic that so many people need to hear and that we need to work on more so so give a little backstory to people as far as you know, who you are and kind of why you got to this point of helping people with this.
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Staci Ogle: yeah absolutely first of all thank you for having me it’s a joy to be with you so thanks so much for your time Jason just a lot of talking to you.
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Jason Mefford: talking to you, so there we go it’s a win, win right.
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Staci Ogle: I know I think we’ve already been talking for like half an hour just.
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Staci Ogle: So we’ll let the world, and on what we’ve been talking about so it’s a thank you, but yeah so I started my my journey.
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Staci Ogle: Just like so many so many women that I talked to and.
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Staci Ogle: For me, I struggled with my relationships and I didn’t didn’t really understand that I was struggling I just felt that it was just me like there was something wrong with me and I was seeking.
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Staci Ogle: Something I was like I have everything that you’re supposed to want to have in life, to make it I had you know I got married I had House I had.
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Staci Ogle: You know the husband, the kids the career and yet I just wasn’t happy and I didn’t really know why and.
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Staci Ogle: Life took a turn when several members of my family got cancer, I had multiple people in my family who got cancer, at the same time.
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Staci Ogle: And within a year was a huge transformation and my family just dynamically and a lot of that took energy, for me, because I was helping with many of that.
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Staci Ogle: That journey, and so I was already struggling didn’t know what was going on, so.
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Staci Ogle: Everything just kind of came to a head and what I look back now I realized that I was just seeking everything from outside of me and I wasn’t I didn’t know how to replenish myself.
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Staci Ogle: And how to love myself and truly take care of myself, so I was seeking everything externally someone my external world kept changing I didn’t know how to to keep going and a healthy way so.
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Staci Ogle: What happened was I basically burned my life down like you said earlier, it was, and I said don’t I don’t recommend it for anybody if you can avoid that don’t do that.
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Jason Mefford: it’s it’s painful it’s.
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Staci Ogle: cathartic.
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Jason Mefford: It is painful if you don’t have to go through that.
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Staci Ogle: It is so basically got divorce burned everything down and I mentioned to you, I had.
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Staci Ogle: got a concussion had a couple of breakdowns and, finally, I was at the point, instead of me pushing through life, which is what I had always done, because I found my.
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Staci Ogle: My value in being productive, and so I finally sat and stopped and was like okay i’ve been pushing and pushing and pushing and life is just so painful.
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Staci Ogle: Like it was painful, to the point where just being like my skin hurts, it was so painful, just to be just to be and so.
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Staci Ogle: I finally said and i’m like okay I surrender to whatever this is, I don’t know what the next step is is the first time I think i’d ever really said that to myself, instead of.
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Staci Ogle: i’ll figure it out i’m just gonna push my way through it and said I said.
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Staci Ogle: i’m going to stop and I don’t know what this looks like but life is already a mess and i’m willing to see what this mess actually can unfold into and so.
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Staci Ogle: I had to rebuild that and I had to rebuild myself, but it was me actually choosing to from such a place of I was worth it.
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Staci Ogle: And I wanted to do it for myself and not for other people, because I was always giving to other people, because I didn’t want to spend time on myself to figure out really what I was about.
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Staci Ogle: So that’s why I was good at being productive and to give me everyone else which just compounded the issue, so I finally said instead okay.
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Staci Ogle: This is it I surrender I don’t know where else to go with this point so i’m just going to take a step forward and I mentioned to you a few minutes ago was when I look back on that part of my life.
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Staci Ogle: It was such a painful part, but I have so much compassion for that woman.
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Staci Ogle: who fought so hard to keep going, and to say this isn’t it this isn’t okay this fight this isn’t how life should be, I know that there’s something else, and it wasn’t me it was that.
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Staci Ogle: I was basically afraid to you know confront myself, but I really thought there was something wrong with me.
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Staci Ogle: I had so much compassion and I look back for that part of my life for that experience, and for that woman and for the woman who did all the work.
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Staci Ogle: That got me to this point, and I know that even in the future that I will look back and be like i’m so grateful.
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Staci Ogle: And so grateful so grateful and love that woman so much, even though she seems so far removed from me, but I love her, and I say that, often, thank you.
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Staci Ogle: To the old version of myself for getting me here and now I have so much more love and compassion for myself, which also allows me to have so much more love and compassion for other people.
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Staci Ogle: So it’s been such a journey, and I know that there are other people that experienced the same kind of setbacks and pains, and especially as a mom that we give so much.
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Staci Ogle: That we don’t take that time for ourselves, and it really is important and that’s where my life has come to this part where i’m here just to help other people see that is okay.
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Staci Ogle: Wherever they’re at is perfectly where they’re supposed to be and it’s okay in a start having compassion for themselves.
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Jason Mefford: Well, because I know you know a lot of people can relate to this, I can relate to this as well right, I mean I my life got burned down at a point to divorce.
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Jason Mefford: career change fire, I mean breakdowns all this kind of stuff as well, too, and I think it’s you know you brought up some some really interesting points here that i’d like to dig into a little bit more because.
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Jason Mefford: I think you know I I was this way as well to where I felt like there was value in me being productive, and so I was very productive I got shit done right.
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Jason Mefford: And and in i’m sure, a lot of people feel that way as well, but you know as as i’ve kind of come on a similar journey as you, you know i’ve started to realize that I was probably hiding behind my productivity.
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Jason Mefford: I was busy being busy, so I didn’t have to confront myself right, you said you were afraid to confront yourself right so.
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Jason Mefford: i’m sure, a lot of people have the same thing, I felt the same way too right so let’s let’s maybe talk, talk a little bit about that right because, again, the world usually measures us.
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Jason Mefford: You know, especially from a business perspective.
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Jason Mefford: on how productive, we are, or you know, do we live in the white picket house with the two 2.5 children, and you know happy family right that we know is usually a facade bullshit but.
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Jason Mefford: Anyway, right so, but how, how do we.
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Jason Mefford: I guess kind of slow down and change our story from trying to be so productive to actually confronting ourself which can be scary.
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Staci Ogle: Oh absolutely.
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Jason Mefford: Right, I mean I think that’s why so many of us try to stay busy so we don’t have to confront herself.
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Staci Ogle: yeah no absolutely and I think i’ve heard it said that it’s the social okay enos is what we’re we’re like Okay, with what everyone else says is the the right way and the way it’s supposed to look so.
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Staci Ogle: that’s what I think of when you when you talk about the the worldly view and how it’s usually bullshit.
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Staci Ogle: insists that social opaqueness so so yeah the productivity, that was.
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Staci Ogle: That was like ingrained in me just as a kid and i’m sure that many people don’t know if it’s the same for you or not.
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Staci Ogle: But that was just where I felt like I got the quality time that I needed was when I was doing something that was productive and I got recognized for that.
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Staci Ogle: And I think that goes with many of us, you know you get recognized for the things that you accomplish not you know necessarily for being you being the quirky weird I was always a weird I was the odd one out in the family, I really want.
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Staci Ogle: hear this.
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Staci Ogle: And I always just fell off, but you know i’m like I know that that’s what makes me special and I think that.
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Staci Ogle: You know, we are we get uncomfortable and so when we get that uncomfortable feeling like what will cover that up what can I do.
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Staci Ogle: what’s the habit, that I do that keeps me feeling okay and more comfortable and so it’s really working past that point of uncomfortable you know, to get uncomfortable as we always hear you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and you’re like what the hell, does that mean.
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Staci Ogle: And until you really start to pause and work through some of that so I actually joke in my when I teach women i’m like it’s the power of the p and they’re like what i’m like it’s the power of the pause.
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Staci Ogle: Know they’re like wait a minute Stacy, what do you.
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Staci Ogle: But when you find that that just that quietness and I know as moms and dads is that so much going on in the world that sometimes you think where, am I going to find the time for that.
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Staci Ogle: that’s really saying i’m going to just make this that put it on my calendar and it’s going to become a habit for me that i’m going to carve this out and whether it’s 30 minutes a day.
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Staci Ogle: might be five minutes a day you know you might have go in your car sometimes I would do it in my car at work at lunch, I would go sit in my car because I just needed.
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Staci Ogle: to retrain myself to actually sit and be quiet and not have a distraction around me and that can be so uncomfortable for so many people because we’re used to.
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Staci Ogle: I have to be doing something my body doesn’t stop and you and I both experienced a part of our growth is taking a large part.
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Staci Ogle: Taking a long term of quietness and I know that was like so foreign to me when I first did it because.
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Staci Ogle: It really and I think that how I reacted the first time to that long term.
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Staci Ogle: The long time, but not long period of time that we had probably how some people reacted maybe 10 minutes to 30 minutes is like my body started reacting like nope you don’t do this, you don’t stop.
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Staci Ogle: You have to go go go so just to start slowly training yourself, that is, is okay to pause and it’s okay to have that quiet time for yourself.
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Staci Ogle: And it may be five minutes, maybe 10 minutes, maybe 30 minutes, but just to actually schedule that and to do it even every day so it’s your body can start to actually unwind.
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Staci Ogle: And you can start to actually sink into who you are to give yourself that space where you’re not reading 100 air pods and there’s no podcast going, you know, this is a great podcast listen to.
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Jason Mefford: You shouldn’t be listening to this yeah.
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Staci Ogle: But to actually you know not be busy, and even if you go for a walk there are days, where i’m like you know what I haven’t taken time for myself today i’m not going to take a distraction with me.
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Staci Ogle: And the other day I went and sat in the grass for like 30 minutes at lunch.
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Staci Ogle: Just because I needed that space for myself, I knew that that was good for me, even though I didn’t necessarily have it planned out I knew it’s something that’s so good for me.
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Staci Ogle: That I was like you know what i’m going to stop and do this today because I haven’t done anything this week so really taking that time.
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Staci Ogle: and start to see how different you are and see once you take that time, who are you after that how much different do you show up for your kids for your family for your job.
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Staci Ogle: When you’re not focused on Oh, the dishes need to be done, the laundry needs to be folded.
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Staci Ogle: I need to get this this and this done the House needs to be an order or somebody has to go here, but to truly say you know what i’m a VIP in my world.
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Staci Ogle: i’m the first VIP and if I can’t take care of myself then there’s no way I can you know get everything else done and be healthy.
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Staci Ogle: and actually have the energy and enjoy what i’m doing so understanding that you’re the VIP I think that’s a big shift for a lot of people they like oh wait, I really have to treat myself as a VIP How would you treat someone else it’s a VIP.
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Staci Ogle: What do you do for everyone else that you’re not doing for yourself.
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Jason Mefford: Well we’re going to go there and just a little bit because I want to go down that rabbit hole.
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Jason Mefford: But, but something something else that you said here, you know because I.
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Jason Mefford: i’ve been kind of in the same same position this year right we both been conditioned externally, you know, to look for the recognition to do the doing to.
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Jason Mefford: You know, be productive all the time, and I will tell you it is uncomfortable at first.
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Jason Mefford: Just to sit there right, and so, so you know I want to kind of bring up a little bit you know it’s like i’m getting back into running now I used to be a runner and kind of stopped for a while and.
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Jason Mefford: Honestly it’s a little embarrassing right I can’t go out and run three miles like I used to run right it’s like even when I start to kind of run it’s like man my body’s not used to this, I can’t even run i’m just kind of like shuffling like an old man right, but if I want to get back.
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Jason Mefford: To doing longer runs the only way to get there is to start small right, and so you know we all understand that, from a maybe like from a physical health perspective right, but if I you know because I remember.
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Jason Mefford: Like everything you go back and forth in life right and so i’m i’m doing it again, but I remember last time that i’d really gotten back into running again.
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Jason Mefford: And, and I would start running and i’m like oh man I gotta stop i’m like nope i’m going to make it to that to that streetlight, then I can stop.
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Jason Mefford: Right, and so you just start doing these little things, even if it’s only a minute or five minutes you know you don’t have to be sitting down doing this forever, but you’re.
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Jason Mefford: you’re working your way into it, because it is going to feel uncomfortable because you’re not used to doing it, but once you start doing it.
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Jason Mefford: Then it becomes comfortable.
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Jason Mefford: Right and like you said you know look around, are you feeling different are things in your life changing and they do right, I mean your clients would they experienced that right, I mean it’s it’s it’s something that seems so simple.
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Jason Mefford: But has a huge impact if you actually do it.
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Staci Ogle: yeah yeah one thing I even for my clients like at the end of a work day you know you bring that energy.
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Staci Ogle: Wherever you go, so I recommend even using you know our lovely technology our phones.
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Staci Ogle: and set a timer and like if you work from home, which many of us do now, so the time or 10 minutes before your kids get home or your spouse gets home.
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Staci Ogle: and take that 10 minutes for yourself to clear that energy and just to have that break so you’re not just jumping from one thing to the next, but even if that’s your moment of your time.
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Staci Ogle: Then you can come in and you’re so refresh because you’ve released the work energy that you’ve been experiencing all day and then you’re refreshed to come out.
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Staci Ogle: and be there, an open for your kids and your spouse and you come in to a whole nother different level that if you just jumped from one thing to the next, and you never take that pause.
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Staci Ogle: So that’s always a good start for, especially with people that work at home or if they’re coming home like in the car don’t have the radio on but just really take that quiet time.
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Staci Ogle: Wherever you can, but especially when you’re going to transition from one huge thing like work into your family that’s a good place to really stop.
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Staci Ogle: And then still scheduled time for yourself but that’s a really good energy break as what I always tell people it’s just try it see how different you are and see how much benefit you get from it.
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Jason Mefford: Well that’s probably a good idea to I mean I know we’ve a lot of a lot more people have been working from home for a while now.
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Jason Mefford: But I know you know the the commute to and from work was a time for a lot of people to be able to unwind.
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Jason Mefford: Now you know it’s like you open your office door, and you know you’re back in it, you don’t have that time, so I think that’s a great.
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Jason Mefford: Practical tip for people to do is just set a timer you know, like you said beforehand give yourself those five minutes or those 10 minutes to kind of clear and move to whatever the next activity happens to be right.
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Jason Mefford: Now I wanted, I wanted to jump a little bit more into you know because, as a as a mom especially right, I mean you see this a lot with women it.
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Jason Mefford: is true with men as well as true with women that don’t have kids but this whole idea of of taking care of everyone else.
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Jason Mefford: And not taking care of yourself right so let’s let’s talk about that, because I know that there’s a lot of guilt and shame and other things like that for moms, especially if they take time for themselves, instead of always serving other people.
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Staci Ogle: right but.
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Jason Mefford: But you talked a little bit about your external world versus your internal world so let’s kind of tie some of that stuff together and.
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Jason Mefford: What we can learn from that.
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Staci Ogle: yeah yeah I think I know you know moms and dads once you have kids you want to give so much to them, so if you’re already an over giver which I was an over giver.
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Staci Ogle: I would do everything for everybody else, but never really took time for myself, so I just didn’t think I was valuable enough basically was.
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Staci Ogle: I mean, I really didn’t it wasn’t even a thought for myself like when I was helping my family and everything I never thought I should take time for myself.
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Staci Ogle: and take care of me first it just was not, I know that so many of us are programmed that way and so.
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Staci Ogle: we’re so focused on the external part because that’s where we feel really good and that’s how I felt like I really felt good.
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Staci Ogle: Giving to others and it’s because I didn’t really know how to give to myself and receive for myself.
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Staci Ogle: So there was a disconnect where I was like oh I you know I had I stayed busy because that was where I actually felt the best, even though it was breaking me down and just really taking me down farther and farther so.
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Staci Ogle: Taking that time like once I finally stopped once I had that breakdown, it was taking that time to rebuild because I.
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Staci Ogle: really made me stop in life, like even in my relationship with my kids seeing what impacted my kids and I think as moms as long as we think our kids are okay we’ll just tough it out.
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Staci Ogle: we’ll just deal with it and internalize it because we want everything to be so good for them.
00:19:52.680 –> 00:19:59.010
Staci Ogle: And so that’s where we’re focused a lot of times as we just want this, we want them to have their great experience in life.
00:19:59.430 –> 00:20:12.030
Staci Ogle: And we’re gonna do whatever we can to make that happen, so it just plays on it over giving and which just compounds everything over and over again, so, unfortunately, then, at some point, your kids are like hey you’re no longer cool mom so.
00:20:12.120 –> 00:20:13.110
Staci Ogle: we’re gonna do our thing.
00:20:13.140 –> 00:20:15.120
Jason Mefford: It happens it happens yeah.
00:20:17.370 –> 00:20:26.280
Staci Ogle: And then you’re like wait a minute, you know i’m so used to giving and now what am I supposed to do, and so, when that started happening for me, I was just kind of at a loss, and I was like I don’t know.
00:20:27.090 –> 00:20:32.610
Staci Ogle: Where i’m supposed to do with this, you know, and so that really allowed me during that time to say okay.
00:20:33.240 –> 00:20:41.160
Staci Ogle: I want to be the best mom for them, but I know that I need to replenish myself first and i’m not doing that at all so.
00:20:41.700 –> 00:20:46.560
Staci Ogle: How am I going to show up if I keep doing it, and what am I teaching them because I started, seeing them.
00:20:46.950 –> 00:20:50.550
Staci Ogle: repeating some of the same habits that I have I don’t know if you’ve seen that in your life but.
00:20:50.970 –> 00:20:59.880
Staci Ogle: Were you see you’re like oh my gosh my kids are starting to do things that I am doing and that’s not what I want them to do I don’t want them to feel this way about themselves so.
00:21:00.210 –> 00:21:07.200
Staci Ogle: That allowed me to really all that kind of lined up to where I just kind of stopped and was like okay what am I supposed to do with this.
00:21:07.800 –> 00:21:13.260
Staci Ogle: So it just broken programming, and so I just had to reprogram myself, which started with.
00:21:13.710 –> 00:21:22.050
Staci Ogle: Those self care the compassion and making that like it was so uncomfortable in the beginning, yet I just kept doing it, even though it was uncomfortable.
00:21:22.530 –> 00:21:30.600
Staci Ogle: Because I was committed to changing my life and changing my circumstances and helping also change my kids their experience in life.
00:21:31.020 –> 00:21:42.330
Staci Ogle: So for me it’s just was like every day, I was like i’m committed to this and it wasn’t the force commitment that I would do before it really was I don’t know what this is going to look like, but I, I feel, and I trust that this is right for me.
00:21:42.810 –> 00:21:56.520
Staci Ogle: I know that i’m worthless and then I can start doing this, so starting that commitment, and to the compassion and the self acceptance to say this is where i’m at and it’s perfectly fine I don’t like it.
00:21:57.750 –> 00:22:06.150
Staci Ogle: feels really gross and it’s really messy, but this is where i’m at and i’m just going to take those steps, and so I actually journaled on it.
00:22:06.960 –> 00:22:10.080
Staci Ogle: And when I went three months into a journal, and I went back to day one.
00:22:10.560 –> 00:22:20.790
Staci Ogle: I couldn’t believe the growth that i’ve had I didn’t I didn’t think I had growth, I really didn’t, but when I looked back at that day one, and the thoughts and feelings, I was having I was like.
00:22:21.300 –> 00:22:27.240
Staci Ogle: wow I have grown so tremendously in three months by doing these things over and over and over again.
00:22:27.780 –> 00:22:33.090
Staci Ogle: And so, for me it was actually able to actually track it and see it, even though I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing.
00:22:33.480 –> 00:22:36.810
Staci Ogle: And I think that’s where people get discouraged, as we want to see results.
00:22:37.110 –> 00:22:49.350
Staci Ogle: We want to see that what we’re doing is paying off, and you know you mentioned running and weight loss and all the stuff that people can physically see the numbers change, you know the scale change your clothes fit differently, where internal stuff.
00:22:50.370 –> 00:22:57.990
Staci Ogle: there’s no usually a physical thing real like hey that’s working right now, and unless you actually look back and really see how far you’ve come.
00:22:58.530 –> 00:23:08.460
Staci Ogle: And it really is being purposeful on how you’re what you’re doing and that you’re like I know this, I trust of us going to work you have to trust yourself and know that it’s going to work and move you forward.
00:23:08.940 –> 00:23:21.600
Staci Ogle: And then, once you do that, and if I said journaling for me, was it, but even if you do habits, you can really start to see wait, this is working and I i’m trusting it and i’m going to keep doing it and number three months, where, am I going to be.
00:23:22.350 –> 00:23:31.860
Staci Ogle: And so it’s that internal stuff that we can’t see on the outside, but you slowly start to see it it’s just not an immediate thing that you’re actually going to be able to like hey you know I look pretty good today.
00:23:33.030 –> 00:23:47.610
Staci Ogle: You know I started with the the I love us and telling myself that I love myself, which is something that I know many of us have done, but it felt so foreign to me to say that to myself that it was just like me saying butter butter.
00:23:47.820 –> 00:23:48.720
Staci Ogle: butter butter.
00:23:48.840 –> 00:23:50.160
Staci Ogle: I mean it’s like.
00:23:51.390 –> 00:23:52.800
Staci Ogle: No feeling in it.
00:23:52.860 –> 00:23:57.420
Staci Ogle: And it took you know just to sit there every day and like but i’m committed to this butter.
00:23:57.480 –> 00:23:58.140
Jason Mefford: butter butter.
00:23:58.560 –> 00:23:59.910
Jason Mefford: butter butter butter.
00:24:01.050 –> 00:24:05.910
Staci Ogle: butter going to feel pretty damn good, and so it just took a long longer than you know I would.
00:24:06.480 –> 00:24:14.580
Staci Ogle: You know, you would think and it really wasn’t you just want that to be like the next day like I got this, I want to move on, because that’s what I was used to as being productive having results, moving on.
00:24:14.910 –> 00:24:23.490
Staci Ogle: Well, this was something that took time I mean I was 30 some years old, and I wanted to reprogram in like a week I should have this done and that’s not how it’s going to go.
00:24:24.060 –> 00:24:30.660
Staci Ogle: And so it really is coming into it and trusting it and doing those things until you start to feel that man butter is awesome.
00:24:31.950 –> 00:24:33.930
Jason Mefford: I love is awesome it’s amazing.
00:24:36.120 –> 00:24:45.030
Staci Ogle: Because you know because it’s just it just takes time to really feel into that, and you have so many years of reprogramming we don’t give ourselves the credit for that, just like you’re running journey.
00:24:45.450 –> 00:24:53.760
Staci Ogle: We want to be like I can jump back in like I did this, you know yesterday, but now it’s been 10 years or whatever, and it takes time and it takes effort.
00:24:54.120 –> 00:25:05.130
Staci Ogle: But just to say a small things to do it daily, and then you build and you build a new bill and all sudden you’re like wow it’s been a year and I feel pretty damn good, and this does pay off.
00:25:05.790 –> 00:25:15.780
Jason Mefford: Well, I think that’s an important thing to kind of you know summarize again because you know so much of the time, I think we we feel discouraged.
00:25:17.010 –> 00:25:35.130
Jason Mefford: quickly on and and most people don’t have the commitment to stick with something long enough to actually see the results right, and so you know one thing i’ve been taught that is very true is, you will never accomplish as much as you think you can in any given day.
00:25:36.240 –> 00:25:43.980
Jason Mefford: But in a week or a month or three months you’ll turn around and realize you accomplished way more.
00:25:44.820 –> 00:25:54.870
Jason Mefford: than you thought you did right and that’s kind of back to your example with the journaling right and even you know yeah some of the physical stuff is.
00:25:55.560 –> 00:26:11.580
Jason Mefford: You see some results may be quicker but there’s also some mixed signals right like if you’re doing weight loss well you’re losing fat but you’re gaining muscle and muscle weighs more than fat so even though your pants feel.
00:26:12.060 –> 00:26:22.980
Jason Mefford: You know, different maybe on the scale you’re the same right right and and so a lot of times we we stop and we start judging ourselves.
00:26:23.820 –> 00:26:31.530
Jason Mefford: You know too early in the process before we’ve actually seen the results so we’ve got to kind of we’ve got a we got to stick with it.
00:26:32.070 –> 00:26:42.570
Jason Mefford: long enough you can’t just do this for a day or a week right you got to actually do this longer term and from habit and everything else we know it’s usually between 60 to 90 days.
00:26:43.290 –> 00:26:55.890
Jason Mefford: Yes, when the habit actually kicks in and that’s usually, when we see more of the results as well, but if you’re not committed to do it for that long you’re probably not going to see the results.
00:26:56.070 –> 00:27:00.270
Staci Ogle: yeah absolutely and that’s where that compassion really comes into, especially in the beginning, because.
00:27:00.960 –> 00:27:09.690
Staci Ogle: it’s you’re going to have days, where you’re just like gosh, why is this even working what am I doing it doesn’t you know it just doesn’t seeking in but it just takes that building.
00:27:10.080 –> 00:27:18.300
Staci Ogle: And like you said it’s like building a muscle, it takes time and effort, but you really just to trust the process and say okay i’m committed to this i’m committed to myself.
00:27:18.750 –> 00:27:27.030
Staci Ogle: And this journey of healing and way discovering all this stuff and just to have that compassion for you know you’re going to have your ups and downs, like everything else and.
00:27:27.510 –> 00:27:38.130
Staci Ogle: To just trust it and go through those days, because I always think anytime something going on my life, where, am I going to be, you know, three weeks from now six months from now.
00:27:38.760 –> 00:27:45.000
Staci Ogle: And that’s what i’m really looking to and that’s what’s always helped me is to look forward and say I know it might be messy right now.
00:27:45.360 –> 00:27:51.270
Staci Ogle: I know, in six months it’s going to look so much different and i’m going to be a such a better place by the things I do today.
00:27:51.750 –> 00:28:00.960
Staci Ogle: And that’s always helped me just to move forward, that no matter what’s going on, I don’t know what it looks like my nose can be better so i’m gonna keep on going and keep doing what i’m doing.
00:28:02.910 –> 00:28:12.180
Jason Mefford: Well, I wanted to come back a little bit to something that we had talked about before, because I know this, you know it definitely affects moms in particular.
00:28:12.330 –> 00:28:14.010
Jason Mefford: You know, for the most part, especially.
00:28:14.760 –> 00:28:25.830
Jason Mefford: You know it’s the moms trying to be good moms yeah, the ones who are shitty moms that don’t care they don’t have this issue right, but most moms are trying to be good moms.
00:28:26.340 –> 00:28:32.850
Jason Mefford: And, and you know we we’ve we’ve kind of been indoctrinated with I mean like you said right.
00:28:33.420 –> 00:28:41.820
Jason Mefford: I have the the the the career, I have the great family i’ve got the kids i’ve got the House why am I not happy.
00:28:42.480 –> 00:28:53.490
Jason Mefford: Right and you hear people you know in fact lots of you listening may have been may have said exactly the same thing in your head right i’ve got all these external things.
00:28:54.210 –> 00:29:05.160
Jason Mefford: That you know the ads and everything else you’re telling me I gotta have, and I have but I don’t feel the way I thought I was gonna feel.
00:29:05.760 –> 00:29:14.970
Jason Mefford: right because we’re we’re still all looking externally and so it’s almost like you know for moms but really for anybody.
00:29:15.480 –> 00:29:25.020
Jason Mefford: it’s almost like we’ve got this badge of courage, if you will, right we’re we’re doing all these things we’re killing ourselves sometimes literally.
00:29:25.680 –> 00:29:48.930
Jason Mefford: and providing care for everyone else because look that’s what a good mom does that’s what a good dad does that’s what a good employee does right so we’re we’re killing herself trying to do all of these things for everyone else and don’t get me wrong serving other people is great.
00:29:49.110 –> 00:30:08.130
Jason Mefford: Absolutely, but it sounds like you can serve all the other people, but if you’re not serving yourself you’re missing the key and you’re probably going to burn it down right so let’s what does you know because again this concept of compassion and self care may be.
00:30:09.270 –> 00:30:15.660
Jason Mefford: A little new to some people, so what is this what does this look like I know we we talked about you know just.
00:30:16.200 –> 00:30:26.310
Jason Mefford: Being silent with yourself is one way of doing it, you know, realizing that hey i’m important I need time for myself as well.
00:30:26.910 –> 00:30:43.530
Jason Mefford: But what are what are some other ways that compassion and self care actually show up because I guess where i’m going with that is that so much of the time we think we love ourselves but we’re just saying butter, because we don’t feel it or we’re not.
00:30:44.640 –> 00:30:55.290
Jason Mefford: doing the things to show ourselves that we actually love ourselves right in fact we’re doing things usually that tell ourselves that we hate ourselves yeah.
00:30:55.710 –> 00:31:05.100
Staci Ogle: yeah we’re so focused on like so the external and everything and then finding that way of being with yourself and truly understanding, who you are is.
00:31:05.580 –> 00:31:19.170
Staci Ogle: it’s a journey as you and I both know that in each person is different, and so, for compassion I, I have four kids so every kid is different, as you know, as parents, we get to figure out each one is unique and everything so.
00:31:19.170 –> 00:31:23.370
Jason Mefford: don’t come with a with an owner’s manual and every one of them.
00:31:23.370 –> 00:31:23.970
Jason Mefford: is different.
00:31:24.030 –> 00:31:33.330
Staci Ogle: yeah yeah so even like with kids and I think if people every person has a different way of looking at what compassionate because there’s a different spot in their lives, so.
00:31:34.080 –> 00:31:39.390
Staci Ogle: When you are feeling those feelings, a lot of itself talk so I see that with my kids especially but.
00:31:40.230 –> 00:31:46.920
Staci Ogle: I only reference them because I see things in them, as I die no we’re going to impact them as adults and i’ve seen it because that’s where I was going.
00:31:47.640 –> 00:32:02.010
Staci Ogle: But the self talk that we get about ourselves a lot of times we’re not even you know we’re just like, why is that happening to me why did he do that to me why is why is that look that way i’m is so it’s all these thoughts that go around in our head.
00:32:03.360 –> 00:32:12.150
Staci Ogle: And when that chatter gets going we don’t we’re just like completely bombarding ourselves so when we come aware of that and we can say wait a minute.
00:32:12.660 –> 00:32:15.420
Staci Ogle: The way i’m speaking to myself and my thoughts.
00:32:16.110 –> 00:32:25.770
Staci Ogle: that’s one one of the easiest ways to recognize when you can recognize that that’s one of the quickest ways to actually show yourself compassion and say wait a minute I wouldn’t speak to my child this way.
00:32:26.220 –> 00:32:38.160
Staci Ogle: I wouldn’t be I wouldn’t speak to you this way Jason Why am I speaking to myself that way it’s like we put ourselves in a bucket and we’re like we’re down here and we’re going to ourselves in this bucket of all this stuff but we’re going to get everyone else or sunshine.
00:32:39.210 –> 00:32:48.480
Staci Ogle: And internally i’m going to put myself in this really dark space and just bombard myself all day long and so when, if you really stop that’s why that quiet, time is so good.
00:32:49.380 –> 00:33:03.690
Staci Ogle: Because in that time you can really just sit with yourself and start saying you know what one of the things I started doing was to be like I am beautiful everything that I happen, I am right now the way I look, because as mom’s we beat ourselves up after we have kids.
00:33:03.900 –> 00:33:04.890
Staci Ogle: I don’t look the same.
00:33:05.400 –> 00:33:12.210
Staci Ogle: You know I look different now my gosh I have these marks and these marks and what I you know, and I feel tired, but to sit there and say you know what.
00:33:12.630 –> 00:33:19.920
Staci Ogle: I had a human being inside my body, I was given this wonderful gift and I am strong and beautiful.
00:33:20.400 –> 00:33:26.070
Staci Ogle: And everything about my body says, you are powerful and so to start changing that language, instead of.
00:33:26.430 –> 00:33:33.810
Staci Ogle: Looking in the mirror and saying I don’t like this, or talking to yourself, about how something didn’t go right beating yourself up when you can start to change that language.
00:33:34.470 –> 00:33:42.270
Staci Ogle: That can then you start to say oh my gosh I can start feeling that I do love myself because i’m no longer counter balancing that by saying.
00:33:42.660 –> 00:33:48.120
Staci Ogle: hey butter and you’re supposed to feel that way, but I look at myself, and I feel this way.
00:33:48.450 –> 00:33:56.340
Staci Ogle: So there’s so many things that we do that are different, they just counter each other and so when we start to recognize the self talk and how important that is.
00:33:56.910 –> 00:34:01.800
Staci Ogle: And again it’s the same thing it’s just repeating those things until you start really feeling the feelings behind it.
00:34:02.550 –> 00:34:11.610
Staci Ogle: But that’s when it really starts to change, because I know that some days I mean I wear glasses, so I look pretty good without my glasses on and I put those glasses on and i’m like.
00:34:12.630 –> 00:34:13.140
Staci Ogle: Wait a minute.
00:34:14.130 –> 00:34:14.640
Jason Mefford: You look at.
00:34:14.850 –> 00:34:16.140
Jason Mefford: Your glasses on to.
00:34:16.200 –> 00:34:20.940
Staci Ogle: Well, within you know somebody that would be like gosh what happened, let me take them back off and that’s kind of how.
00:34:21.210 –> 00:34:31.170
Staci Ogle: The compassion and the awareness, sometimes it’s the glasses on and off when things are fuzzy it’s all good, but when it gets clear we’re like wait a minute I changed my perspective, now.
00:34:31.530 –> 00:34:41.130
Staci Ogle: And as to put my glasses on and say i’m fucking sexy I am fucking sexy, and when you start to really own that stuff then you’re like wait a minute.
00:34:41.520 –> 00:34:45.960
Staci Ogle: And that really starts to sink in and you’ve got all that and you’re just like yes, I am rockin this life.
00:34:46.260 –> 00:34:54.510
Staci Ogle: So when you start to really find all those little areas where you are previously like putting yourself down and just keeping yourself buried and like.
00:34:54.840 –> 00:35:01.740
Staci Ogle: I don’t want to be seen i’m not good enough for this, you know and it’s not even that you recognize it that’s why getting that quiet, is so important.
00:35:02.250 –> 00:35:14.820
Staci Ogle: And to say I have so much to give to this world, and I have so much to give for myself and once you start doing that it just starts to exude all this confidence and everything from you.
00:35:15.450 –> 00:35:20.280
Staci Ogle: It really changes, because then compassion becomes part of who you are you don’t have to think about it.
00:35:20.610 –> 00:35:32.250
Staci Ogle: it’s like ingrained in you and it just happens every day effortlessly and when you do that, then it does change your world on the outside, too, so then your external world starts to change because all everything on the inside change.
00:35:32.850 –> 00:35:40.260
Staci Ogle: So there’s so many little levels that the self talk and that quiet time or two of the biggest ones that I see really impact moms when they can.
00:35:40.590 –> 00:35:48.240
Staci Ogle: Look at themselves and say you know what I am beautiful i’ve done all these wonderful amazing things and I have compassion for that woman.
00:35:48.900 –> 00:36:01.350
Staci Ogle: And that she you know take ownership of who she is and what she’s been through and say, yes I love her I love myself, and then it really starts to sink in and it just takes habit and commitment to do that for yourself.
00:36:02.490 –> 00:36:14.640
Jason Mefford: Well, I think it’s it’s beautiful because, like you said so really the taking time for yourself in the self talk Those are two simple takeaways right for people that they can actually take away today and start thinking about right and.
00:36:15.240 –> 00:36:24.030
Jason Mefford: And that, like said a lot of times our self talk is probably as self criticizing and it’s almost like we feel like we have to be hard on ourselves.
00:36:24.990 –> 00:36:30.510
Jason Mefford: Right in order to, especially those of us that want to be productive and want to move forward, we got to be hard on herself right.
00:36:31.320 –> 00:36:39.120
Jason Mefford: But you know if we wouldn’t do that to our child or to someone else, then, why would we ever do it to ourselves and what you said is.
00:36:39.660 –> 00:36:54.210
Jason Mefford: You know we’re giving our sunshine to everybody else, and not to us and so again, you know, everybody get that right, if you’re giving your sunshine to everybody else what’s left for you darkness.
00:36:55.050 –> 00:37:06.660
Jason Mefford: darkness right nothing grows well in darkness, except for maybe mushrooms right and fungus and bacteria stuff right, so if that’s what you want inside yourself, I guess.
00:37:07.230 –> 00:37:18.300
Jason Mefford: don’t ever shed light on the inside right yeah but you know it’s Okay, you can shine light to others and shine light to yourself, is what i’m hearing right.
00:37:18.570 –> 00:37:22.830
Staci Ogle: yeah absolutely yeah cuz once once that energy is going to come out of you.
00:37:23.400 –> 00:37:28.920
Staci Ogle: And instead of just sharing it with everyone else really get that from the inside and it’s going to shine inside of you.
00:37:29.370 –> 00:37:32.190
Staci Ogle: Instead of saying i’m going to have this light and I have to give it away.
00:37:32.670 –> 00:37:43.620
Staci Ogle: you’re like i’m creating this from the inside, and it just automatically comes out you’re not actually giving it the way to everyone it’s just just huge being that comes from you, and that is the life that.
00:37:44.100 –> 00:37:51.270
Staci Ogle: Most women don’t realize that that’s even out there, they just think that where they’re at is where life is supposed to be and that’s not the truth so and.
00:37:51.600 –> 00:38:01.650
Staci Ogle: it’s not just women like you said it’s for everybody, but we just think that where we’re at is we’re, this is what life is I remember thinking that and it doesn’t have to be that way because we’re truly is.
00:38:02.100 –> 00:38:15.510
Staci Ogle: That wholeness and that health from inside and starts with truly find that compassion that wherever you are whatever is happening in your life it’s truly Okay, and to love yourself where you’re at and know that you will keep growing and getting healthier.
00:38:17.190 –> 00:38:24.990
Jason Mefford: But I think it’s interesting too, because you know, again, I mean you help a lot of women you’ve gone through it from a woman perspective i’ve seen it from the man perspective.
00:38:25.110 –> 00:38:41.640
Jason Mefford: You know as well, I mean i’m divorced remarried as well and, and so I want to kind of go here a little bit too, because I think it’s you know, one of the ways that you’re that you’re helping people and and a lot of times our relationships start to crumble.
00:38:43.260 –> 00:38:51.600
Jason Mefford: And we don’t realize it’s our fault right, and so I don’t know if it’s going to be a little touchy or not, but let’s see if we start to go there right but.
00:38:52.410 –> 00:39:08.880
Jason Mefford: i’ve always you know, will take, for example, you know the glasses right oh yeah i’m pretty sexy without my glasses, but when I put them on right kind of thing until you start training yourself look i’m fucking sexy right I think that’s what you said right.
00:39:08.910 –> 00:39:09.150
00:39:10.170 –> 00:39:28.440
Jason Mefford: And, and you know really kind of from from a man perspective and it again, it affects both partners as well, but I see this so much in my life and the lives of other people that I know you know, like you said you have babies first one, like, for my first wife.
00:39:29.520 –> 00:39:41.250
Jason Mefford: boom right back to what she was looking like before second baby something happened with the second baby right sometimes it’s second sometimes it’s the third which your body just doesn’t go back to what it was.
00:39:41.820 –> 00:39:42.510
Jason Mefford: let’s say right.
00:39:43.230 –> 00:39:57.570
Jason Mefford: And at that point, a lot of women, I see start to get hard on themselves and think that they’re ugly or you know they use words i’m a fat ugly mom i’m just a mom I am.
00:39:58.110 –> 00:40:16.230
Jason Mefford: You know, different words like that, and you know what i’ve what i’ve always felt from a man perspective is okay, yes there’s a symmetrical beauty and the different stuff that we are kind of taught and part of its biologically based for us reproducing okay.
00:40:17.310 –> 00:40:21.930
Jason Mefford: But whether somebody is handsome or beautiful.
00:40:22.950 –> 00:40:27.780
Jason Mefford: is so much not really tied to their physical appearance.
00:40:29.130 –> 00:40:36.240
Jason Mefford: it’s how they feel about themselves sexiness it doesn’t matter what your body looks like.
00:40:37.410 –> 00:40:37.920
Jason Mefford: Right.
00:40:37.980 –> 00:40:42.330
Jason Mefford: it’s it’s a state of mind and it’s the thing that’s exuding.
00:40:42.930 –> 00:40:51.150
Jason Mefford: And so what I see so many people, you know happen, I saw it kind of in my relationship, there were other issues too, but there’s you know.
00:40:52.470 –> 00:41:08.370
Jason Mefford: The mom takes care of the kids feels like she’s not attractive because she doesn’t feel like she’s attractive she just assumed her partner doesn’t feel that she’s attractive so sex starts going on the skids.
00:41:10.560 –> 00:41:15.300
Jason Mefford: You know, and they start having these separate lives and we grow apart.
00:41:15.810 –> 00:41:22.260
Jason Mefford: yeah and it’s just a natural progression that we see over and over and over and over again.
00:41:22.740 –> 00:41:36.300
Jason Mefford: Absolutely right, and so, sometimes it has to go that way, I guess, but some of these things that we’re talking about can help it from having your life burn down.
00:41:36.630 –> 00:41:39.450
Staci Ogle: yeah absolutely yeah I call it the love gap.
00:41:40.170 –> 00:41:50.940
Staci Ogle: When you just slowly start to pull away from each other and you’re so consumed on kids and other things, and you don’t even realize because you’re inside your own head you’re in your own world so.
00:41:51.300 –> 00:41:58.650
Staci Ogle: For me, I was an internal i’m an internal processor, and so I didn’t like complex so even when things would come up.
00:41:59.400 –> 00:42:02.370
Staci Ogle: Like with my partner I wouldn’t talk about stuff I just kept it inside.
00:42:03.060 –> 00:42:11.160
Staci Ogle: But so for me that was like even worse because I was already internalizing so much about myself, and then I wasn’t talking about the other things that were bothering me.
00:42:11.640 –> 00:42:18.150
Staci Ogle: But when I talked to women it’s always you know I wish I could be a better example for my kids it’s still not about themselves.
00:42:18.750 –> 00:42:19.590
it’s like they’ve removed.
00:42:20.670 –> 00:42:29.220
Staci Ogle: From the equation and they’re still wanting to give for them, and I was the same way I didn’t want to start making changes in my life until I saw my kids are being impacted.
00:42:29.730 –> 00:42:39.540
Staci Ogle: wasn’t about me and valuing myself but definitely after having kids you know we really were just we want to nurture those kids and we give so much time and energy.
00:42:39.930 –> 00:42:52.500
Staci Ogle: And then we don’t make time for ourselves to even exercise, or maybe eat right or whatever, and we just compound the issue a lot of times, but even I mean, I would still work out, I still got my like 27 to 2020 minute girl i’m like i’m not a claim.
00:42:53.760 –> 00:42:55.200
Jason Mefford: The runners good for you i’m like.
00:42:57.240 –> 00:43:06.870
Staci Ogle: But you know I still did not feel good about myself, you know I because, like you said, our bodies change it looks different and i’m like gosh you know it’s just not going back the same way.
00:43:07.440 –> 00:43:16.710
Staci Ogle: And it did affect me showing up because I was more like cautious and wanted to be covered up, and like wasn’t like this vibrant I wasn’t in my feminine energy.
00:43:17.100 –> 00:43:24.270
Staci Ogle: I was more guarded and I was like no okay well yeah sure we can go have sex will do it, and then you know lights out and all that.
00:43:24.870 –> 00:43:33.120
Staci Ogle: And, but when i’m in my feminine energy, which is the fucking sexy energy, you know i’m rocking it doesn’t matter what it’s how i’m feeling from the inside.
00:43:33.540 –> 00:43:41.520
Staci Ogle: And that’s where I was just I just kept bearing things on top of everything, and so it just kept getting more and more buried my feminine energy and.
00:43:42.030 –> 00:43:47.940
Staci Ogle: I don’t even think I realized there was like masculine feminine feminine I just never thought about it you’re just doing life.
00:43:48.270 –> 00:43:57.660
Staci Ogle: you’d no one teaches you hey here’s a difference between this and this and here’s how you do this relationships with yourself, let alone with other people is not something that we get taught.
00:43:58.110 –> 00:44:07.440
Staci Ogle: it’s something that we inherit and we see from generations passed down so until we get this awareness, we just keep doing what we’re doing, which is just a broken model.
00:44:07.890 –> 00:44:13.470
Staci Ogle: And it just fit impacts women so much, and I see it all the time, where they’re just like yeah I know I should take care of myself but.
00:44:14.130 –> 00:44:19.920
Staci Ogle: You know I want to be a better role model for my kids and I know that they’re starting to say and do the same things i’m doing and.
00:44:20.430 –> 00:44:29.490
Staci Ogle: And so, just to stop and say you know what it’s let’s start working on how much you are amazing as a mom you’re amazing as a woman you’re amazing as a human being.
00:44:29.910 –> 00:44:39.090
Staci Ogle: And let’s start identifying and really looking at who you are because they just like pull themselves away from it, and I think it applies to men to it applies to all of.
00:44:39.090 –> 00:44:39.300
Jason Mefford: us.
00:44:39.390 –> 00:44:48.150
Staci Ogle: We just don’t take that time for ourselves, we just become these roles, I became a mom I became this co worker, I became you know, a wife.
00:44:48.570 –> 00:44:56.670
Staci Ogle: Like they lose their identity as themselves and they don’t even know who they are anymore and that’s always changing because, as we know you just pull layers and layers and layers off of it.
00:44:57.000 –> 00:45:06.270
Staci Ogle: there’s an amazing create you know creation in there, that is just waiting to come out and it’s just taking that time to say you know what there is so.
00:45:06.960 –> 00:45:15.630
Staci Ogle: No matter what size, shape color anything you are you’re the most amazing you, and if you could find that just uncover that.
00:45:16.110 –> 00:45:22.020
Staci Ogle: Then wow and so yeah that sexiness it’s just buried in there and just to uncover that and feel that.
00:45:22.800 –> 00:45:37.140
Staci Ogle: it’s just they just lost touch with it, and I was the same way, I mean forever I was exact same way, and once I really took the time and went through all the processes, all these discoveries of myself i’m just like oh no one’s covering this stuff up again.
00:45:38.850 –> 00:45:39.870
Staci Ogle: we’re not doing that.
00:45:40.260 –> 00:45:47.700
Staci Ogle: Again, my part and i’ll be like where’s the feminine Stacey you seem to be getting kind of kind of like oh shit i’m like okay let’s go.
00:45:48.510 –> 00:45:59.490
Staci Ogle: you’re right, let me take a peel back, let me go, let me go find myself again for a couple days and i’ll be good it’s just you know just habits, they come back and it’s just a really keeping those habits of self love and compassion and.
00:45:59.880 –> 00:46:06.060
Staci Ogle: and loving that butter in the mirror and loving that woman and saying that is me I love her every single day.
00:46:07.050 –> 00:46:12.120
Jason Mefford: Well, and I think it’s important because, as you brought up there, too, we we all get kind of put in these different roles.
00:46:13.350 –> 00:46:19.260
Jason Mefford: that’s external again right and and those external roles change.
00:46:20.370 –> 00:46:25.770
Jason Mefford: Right and, and so what we do is we end up getting comfortable in our roles, but those roles change.
00:46:25.860 –> 00:46:27.990
Jason Mefford: And so, again, I mean you see this and.
00:46:29.610 –> 00:46:39.420
Jason Mefford: Especially in women’s lives because again that’s who that’s who you I know you help a lot, but you know you get married or you know get into a long term relationship now all of a sudden you’re in different role.
00:46:40.320 –> 00:46:45.810
Jason Mefford: You have children now all of a sudden, you add another role to it right.
00:46:46.380 –> 00:46:59.100
Jason Mefford: And then that you know as the kids are growing, you know your PTA president or you’re doing stuff at school or they’ve got soccer or whatever right you’ve got all these different roles that you’re that you’re playing or filling.
00:46:59.790 –> 00:47:04.320
Jason Mefford: And then it gets to a point when they don’t really want anything to do with mom anymore.
00:47:04.980 –> 00:47:13.710
Jason Mefford: Well that’s a little bit of a different role right, and then they leave the House they become adults and again the role ends up changing right and so.
00:47:14.280 –> 00:47:31.170
Jason Mefford: If we place all of our sunshine on other people and on all of those roles right when those people leave or the roles change that we’ve been giving sunshine to we don’t know who we are.
00:47:32.010 –> 00:47:38.910
Jason Mefford: We don’t know who we are and so you know, one of the gals I know she does her topic is kind of women at halftime.
00:47:39.510 –> 00:47:40.410
Jason Mefford: You know, women.
00:47:40.680 –> 00:47:48.210
Jason Mefford: menopause 50 ish kids out of the House it’s like all of a sudden, you wake up and it’s like who the hell, am I.
00:47:48.570 –> 00:47:49.170
Jason Mefford: yeah.
00:47:49.200 –> 00:47:59.760
Jason Mefford: I don’t recognize my husband, you know a lot of divorce happens when the kids leave the House to For that reason, but you know if we spend more of that time.
00:48:00.480 –> 00:48:13.410
Jason Mefford: knowing who we are nurturing ourself focusing on shining the light inside and helping us grow as a person, it seems like it’s going to make it easier to get through all those different phases as well.
00:48:13.920 –> 00:48:22.380
Staci Ogle: yeah yeah cuz you’re creating from your authentic self you’re creating not for the role you’re not playing the role you’re just creating from who you are.
00:48:22.770 –> 00:48:31.080
Staci Ogle: And as life changes you’re just like Oh well, this is, who I am, and this is just something that’s happening out here, so how am I going to respond to that and what does that look like for me.
00:48:31.620 –> 00:48:38.460
Staci Ogle: And it’s really just showing up just as yourself and it’s amazing how much magic happens in life when that happens.
00:48:38.940 –> 00:48:46.260
Staci Ogle: I mean everything on the outside world right now is pretty much topsy turvy think we can all agree on that it’s just a weird world with them, and right now.
00:48:46.680 –> 00:48:52.830
Staci Ogle: Yet I know so many people that once they’ve done the work and they’re like living from their true authentic self.
00:48:53.640 –> 00:49:04.440
Staci Ogle: were like life is pretty good I mean these things don’t bother them and that’s really a testament to taking care of themselves and knowing what’s best for them and not the external stuff.
00:49:04.920 –> 00:49:12.630
Staci Ogle: And it’s all a journey for all of us, and I think of my kids I asked him lots of questions and i’m like mom why he asked me so many questions my gosh and i’m like.
00:49:12.630 –> 00:49:12.960
00:49:14.040 –> 00:49:17.910
Staci Ogle: I can tell you what to do, but that’s what I would do, and until you understand.
00:49:18.690 –> 00:49:24.570
Staci Ogle: how you think things through, and what means to you as like it’s just to get your brain working and get you thinking.
00:49:24.990 –> 00:49:29.610
Staci Ogle: And so it’s really just taking that time for themselves and i’ve seen them change in that respect.
00:49:30.000 –> 00:49:40.290
Staci Ogle: And even in my partner he’s like gosh you asked a lot of questions, sometimes So you see them like well you know I asked a lot of questions on myself and that’s really the best thing I can do for myself is truly to.
00:49:40.860 –> 00:49:49.020
Staci Ogle: when something happens externally come inside and say Okay, how can I work through this what’s, the best thing for me how can I love myself through this.
00:49:49.410 –> 00:49:54.270
Staci Ogle: And what’s my lesson than I can have here, because I know that, right now, this is the experience i’m supposed to be in.
00:49:54.660 –> 00:49:59.970
Staci Ogle: So it’s not a blame game it’s not anything like that’s not victimhood it’s for what is my lesson.
00:50:00.450 –> 00:50:04.470
Staci Ogle: How can I have compassion for myself and for everyone else around me in this moment.
00:50:04.920 –> 00:50:09.090
Staci Ogle: and know that i’m showing up with my most authentic self and taking care of myself too.
00:50:09.420 –> 00:50:17.880
Staci Ogle: Because, then when i’m whole I can give so much more and not feel depleted, because I know that’s where I originally was coming from was to give until I was completely tapped out.
00:50:18.330 –> 00:50:24.180
Staci Ogle: And my bucket was empty, and you know I kept giving and I know that that happens to so many people, especially when something.
00:50:24.510 –> 00:50:32.820
Staci Ogle: traumatic happens in their life and there’s huge changes like you said whether it’s you get fired or you change jobs your kids move on, you get divorced.
00:50:33.330 –> 00:50:45.300
Staci Ogle: it’s you know what what happens, then, are you able to keep giving to yourself and to be yourself and show up that way, or are you completely tapped out because you are relying on stuff from the outside world.
00:50:45.960 –> 00:50:54.000
Staci Ogle: And so I think that’s the biggest shift that people can make is to truly do inside themselves and so as a mom it’s important to me because i’ve been able to.
00:50:54.300 –> 00:51:01.740
Staci Ogle: change my life, but now I can help change my kids and say hey you thought about this and it’s up to them what journey they want to take.
00:51:02.280 –> 00:51:07.620
Staci Ogle: But that’s another reason I work with with women so much is because I know how they think mostly.
00:51:08.400 –> 00:51:19.650
Staci Ogle: but also how much impact, we can have on the next generation is, we can embody what we truly love about ourselves and our kids will see that and we can embody the relationship with.
00:51:19.980 –> 00:51:30.660
Staci Ogle: Our partner and they’re going to see that and then they’re going to take that with them, so all the stuff that I do for myself i’m doing for my family and i’m doing for other people in my life.
00:51:31.260 –> 00:51:39.240
Staci Ogle: And I would have never thought that way, like to do stuff for me was like one of the most important things I could do to have an impact in the world.
00:51:39.750 –> 00:51:55.230
Staci Ogle: And so signal quite a while to get there, but now I see how much that changes and how the dynamic and my family has changed, and my with my partner and just everything i’m just kind of like this is, you know when life comes on and creates a whole world goes crazy i’m like all right.
00:51:56.910 –> 00:51:57.540
Staci Ogle: that’s great.
00:51:58.350 –> 00:52:01.500
Jason Mefford: Well that’s why it’s still you know the older I get.
00:52:02.850 –> 00:52:11.820
Jason Mefford: The more I realized that the real answers are often 180 degrees opposite of what we’ve been fed our whole life.
00:52:12.690 –> 00:52:28.710
Jason Mefford: yeah and I think this, this is one of those topics right where we get taught, you know give give give give give give give serve serve serve serve serve you know get that outside validation that’s what’s really important that’s how you’re changing or making an impact in the world right.
00:52:29.790 –> 00:52:41.370
Jason Mefford: But if we do that and ignore ourselves, it leads to burn out to you know burn down whatever right relationships on the skids.
00:52:42.300 –> 00:52:54.600
Jason Mefford: health issues, everything else right that that’s really a broken strategy that the only way to really do it is to start with yourself now it seems selfish.
00:52:55.080 –> 00:53:01.350
Jason Mefford: Right, which again we’ve used it labeled as something bad, but if you’re not that energizer bunny.
00:53:02.160 –> 00:53:13.170
Jason Mefford: If you don’t have all that energy and power within yourself you’re not going to be banging that drum for very long right and the minute that you stop banging the drum.
00:53:13.710 –> 00:53:28.800
Jason Mefford: Your light goes out in the world right, so instead of shining all of your light out to everyone else shine your light inside and then let that light from inside you.
00:53:29.970 –> 00:53:48.060
Jason Mefford: shine out yeah right and that actually by taking the time to be compassionate with ourselves to take care of ourselves to love ourselves right is the only way to change the world.
00:53:48.600 –> 00:53:51.690
Jason Mefford: Right you change the world, one person at a time.
00:53:52.320 –> 00:53:56.010
Jason Mefford: But you’ll never change the world if that first person you.
00:53:57.120 –> 00:54:01.140
Jason Mefford: don’t if you don’t help yourself first.
00:54:01.410 –> 00:54:18.180
Jason Mefford: yeah and it’s totally like I said it’s like totally 180 degrees different from what we’re usually fad but your evidence of know this is a way to do it.
00:54:18.300 –> 00:54:26.880
Staci Ogle: yeah no absolutely and that’s why I think people don’t realize that they just until they hear about that, like what How is that possible, and you mentioned service.
00:54:27.690 –> 00:54:33.540
Staci Ogle: And when you can serve from that place of holiness it’s a completely different way of serving and I know that.
00:54:33.810 –> 00:54:39.960
Staci Ogle: doesn’t mean that we don’t serve, but if you can’t serve yourself and take care of you then yeah serving is just empty.
00:54:40.320 –> 00:54:45.840
Staci Ogle: it’s an empty task as a checklist basically that’s what I felt like like I knew I was supposed to do it.
00:54:46.290 –> 00:54:54.540
Staci Ogle: But I was just doing it because I was checking boxes and I was like God, this is so empty for me and now serving as a completely different.
00:54:55.020 –> 00:55:07.110
Staci Ogle: Energy about it and it’s so fulfilling but it’s so like it’s an energy exchange that is beyond belief, where before the energy, I was exchanging was hey i’m tapped out tapped out and tapped out.
00:55:07.470 –> 00:55:10.290
Staci Ogle: And that’s what I kept giving now, and I think that’s what a lot of people do.
00:55:10.860 –> 00:55:17.880
Staci Ogle: They want to give they want to serve but they just don’t have the energy to do it, and when like you said you take care of yourself, and you have that.
00:55:18.360 –> 00:55:25.980
Staci Ogle: it’s like this beam I always think of it, just like a like a light inside me just playing beating constantly like come on let’s go let’s go, we just want to get out there and do some self.
00:55:29.010 –> 00:55:36.450
Jason Mefford: Because that’s where it is, I mean it’s you know yeah if you if you want to use kind of the physical metaphor, I mean imagine like your heart or.
00:55:36.750 –> 00:55:48.660
Jason Mefford: Something else is like it’s like a nuclear fusion not not fishing, but like fusion, which actually provides a lot more energy than fishing does from like atomic bombs and reactors, but.
00:55:49.020 –> 00:55:51.930
Jason Mefford: If you can actually do the atomic fusion.
00:55:52.650 –> 00:56:03.570
Jason Mefford: Right and have that that energy your battery your internal battery you’re going to provide much better light.
00:56:04.530 –> 00:56:14.430
Jason Mefford: Right to the world and service in a totally different way than if you got a little chipmunk in there on you know a little bike trying to run a gyro you know that’s happened you’re like going like.
00:56:16.800 –> 00:56:20.520
Jason Mefford: kind of thing that chipmunks going to get tired after a while.
00:56:20.700 –> 00:56:26.040
Jason Mefford: yeah right and that’s again it’s an external thing versus doing some internal yeah.
00:56:26.130 –> 00:56:39.090
Staci Ogle: But yeah changing the world it really starts with every single one of us and taking that time and compassion for where you are at the moment, knowing that you’re impacting not only yourself, but so many people around you it’s just.
00:56:40.500 –> 00:56:47.040
Staci Ogle: Sorry just it just it’s just amazing and really what the world needs right now is people to.
00:56:47.970 –> 00:56:55.650
Staci Ogle: To have compassion for themselves, but for others, but that starts with you and sorts in your family for yourself your family your husband your kids.
00:56:56.010 –> 00:57:04.590
Staci Ogle: your wife, and you know it’s just whatever it’s it starts with those around you and it’s so important, especially right now, because there’s so much division in the world.
00:57:05.010 –> 00:57:21.330
Staci Ogle: That when you can really start with yourself, you may not be able to change the world in one day, but you can start changing your world in one day so start with the daily stuff really take time for yourself and have that compassion, because what’s what everybody needs and we just.
00:57:22.530 –> 00:57:26.340
Staci Ogle: Just just just wanted I just love it I do I just I could talk about it all day.
00:57:26.730 –> 00:57:31.080
Jason Mefford: I know when I can’t do, but again we’ve got to get back to our days, people.
00:57:31.080 –> 00:57:43.920
Jason Mefford: Listening probably have to get back to their days as well, but Stacy Thank you, thank you for coming on you are an amazing person I appreciate, you know getting to know you better to, even though I know you but it’s it’s.
00:57:44.940 –> 00:57:57.060
Jason Mefford: I know you better After talking to you today as well and and the light that you’re trying to share with the world as well, so you know if people want to reach out or connect with your House how’s the best way for them to do that.
00:57:57.390 –> 00:58:02.010
Staci Ogle: Well, thank you again i’ve loved every second i’m talking with you, Sir, so just lights up my heart and.
00:58:03.300 –> 00:58:15.480
Staci Ogle: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so yeah I you can find me on the web of course it’s Stacy ogle COM so it’s St a ci and then the last thing oh JI le.com.
00:58:15.930 –> 00:58:21.570
Staci Ogle: And then on instagram and I am coach Stacy i’m also on Facebook sjc oval.
00:58:22.920 –> 00:58:23.880
Jason Mefford: Right perfect i’m.
00:58:24.150 –> 00:58:24.990
Staci Ogle: Stacey everywhere.
00:58:25.320 –> 00:58:26.520
Jason Mefford: Your Stacy everywhere.
00:58:26.670 –> 00:58:27.120
Staci Ogle: Yes.
00:58:28.080 –> 00:58:29.160
Jason Mefford: it’s good to be Stacy.
00:58:29.460 –> 00:58:30.000
Staci Ogle: It is.
00:58:30.030 –> 00:58:44.190
Jason Mefford: So no I appreciate you any any final you know thoughts before we before we wrap up today, I mean I think they’re the, this is one of those episodes where there’s a lot of folks and there’s a lot of layers in it, and each time you listen to this you’re going to hear something different.
00:58:44.610 –> 00:58:46.080
Staci Ogle: yeah it’s just it’s a.
00:58:47.550 –> 00:58:54.000
Staci Ogle: You will get there, where you are right now is where you’re supposed to be and love yourself for where you’re at doesn’t matter.
00:58:54.840 –> 00:59:03.450
Staci Ogle: Where it is it truly is where you’re supposed to be, and I think that was the biggest lesson for me to know that, where I was where I supposed to be, and to take the next step every single day.
00:59:03.990 –> 00:59:14.940
Staci Ogle: and have that compassion, no matter where you’re at and just commit to you know those small things to change your life, it really does pay off, and you can change your life and those around you and such.
00:59:15.330 –> 00:59:21.270
Staci Ogle: The slightest changes really do add up to a lot so love yourself, because I love you and I love you, Mr Jason.
00:59:22.320 –> 00:59:23.040
Jason Mefford: Thank you, thank you.
00:59:24.270 –> 00:59:26.310
Jason Mefford: yeah I pray I appreciate john here and.
00:59:26.730 –> 00:59:31.530
Jason Mefford: You know, keep going and serve in the world, and you know, everybody that’s listening again take stacy’s.
00:59:32.460 –> 00:59:41.550
Jason Mefford: Take what she’s she’s telling it to heart and just just make those little changes, just to one one little change today one little change tomorrow and before you know it.
00:59:42.210 –> 00:59:50.760
Jason Mefford: you’ll be in a completely different place than you ever realized that you can be at and it’s perfectly fine for you to be exactly where you are.
00:59:51.270 –> 01:00:10.500
Jason Mefford: Right now, because that’s where you need to be but you’re going to be somewhere else in the future, and you ought to be pretty damn proud of yourself like you said at the beginning of grateful for that person who went through that because she allowed you to be who you are today yeah.
01:00:10.890 –> 01:00:11.610
01:00:12.750 –> 01:00:13.200
Jason Mefford: Good stuff.
01:00:14.820 –> 01:00:16.680
Jason Mefford: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:00:17.130 –> 01:00:18.510
Staci Ogle: Thank you very.