Sometimes when you’re trying to make changes in life, it can be easy to get in your own way.

Today we have Ashrita Tiwari on the show to discuss with us how we can work on our own self conscious tendencies in order to help make more positive changes in our lives.

Learn more and connect with Ashrita at: ashritatiwari.com and on Instagram @ashrita_coach

Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/jammingwithjason/

Transcript

1
00:00:01.860 –> 00:00:08.220
Jason Mefford: Well, I am super excited for today’s episode, because I have my friend, a street it tiwari with me.

2
00:00:08.790 –> 00:00:17.699
Jason Mefford: And you know I don’t know if you are, like me, probably are like a lot of people that sometimes you’re trying to make changes in your life.

3
00:00:18.359 –> 00:00:27.840
Jason Mefford: And you just can’t figure out why you keep self sabotaging yourself, you know there’s there’s things that you want to accomplish there’s things that you want to do.

4
00:00:28.230 –> 00:00:36.690
Jason Mefford: But you’re sitting there and it’s almost like you’re just trapped in your consciousness and just can’t move forward.

5
00:00:37.260 –> 00:00:44.910
Jason Mefford: Well, stay tuned because if you have felt that if you’ve ever felt that, and if you haven’t you probably will, if you haven’t already.

6
00:00:45.360 –> 00:01:00.780
Jason Mefford: That make sure and listen to this entire episode, because what we’re going to talk about today are some of the keys to helping you unlock that and get you to be able to have those things in life that you really want so with that let’s roll the episode.

7
00:01:02.460 –> 00:01:03.450
Jason Mefford: All right, a street.

8
00:01:04.890 –> 00:01:07.830
Jason Mefford: Welcome welcome welcome, how are you.

9
00:01:08.550 –> 00:01:12.390
Ashrita Tiwari: Thank you, thanks for having me here Jason i’m really excited for this conversation.

10
00:01:13.410 –> 00:01:14.070
Jason Mefford: I hope so.

11
00:01:14.670 –> 00:01:18.690
Jason Mefford: If not you’re gonna be before the yen right it’s.

12
00:01:19.290 –> 00:01:22.980
Jason Mefford: You know it’s it’s funny because we’re as we were talking before I mean.

13
00:01:24.000 –> 00:01:36.390
Jason Mefford: You have a varied background, which I think is an amazing thing I mean that’s why I, you know one thing I love to do is learn and.

14
00:01:37.620 –> 00:01:46.830
Jason Mefford: And we really don’t learn or how we really learn is when we’re able to be trained or learn about a lot of different things and be able to.

15
00:01:47.340 –> 00:01:57.600
Jason Mefford: find the commonalities with it right so so maybe to start off because i’ve known you for a little while, but even as before we hit record, there were some things I didn’t know about you.

16
00:01:58.230 –> 00:02:09.900
Jason Mefford: Right so maybe just just give people a little thumbnail as to who you are and then we’ll jump into talking about the main the main topic for the day to be able to help people out.

17
00:02:10.740 –> 00:02:27.450
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah Thank you so hi everyone so um I, my name is a street and I was so it’s interesting I was actually not born in the United States i’m currently I currently live in the United States, but I wasn’t born here, I came to the United States.

18
00:02:27.930 –> 00:02:42.510
Ashrita Tiwari: At age six and for those of you who live in the United States, you probably have heard of the American dream, the immigrant story that many people from around the world will come to the United States to to.

19
00:02:42.900 –> 00:02:56.400
Ashrita Tiwari: REACH this American dream and that’s exactly what my family did my parents did so prior to coming to the United States at age six my parents actually left me and my brother in Nepal, for several years.

20
00:02:56.790 –> 00:03:06.180
Ashrita Tiwari: And they came here in and really looking for the dream dream dream work and life right because in Nepal For those of you who don’t know.

21
00:03:06.570 –> 00:03:16.020
Ashrita Tiwari: deposits are our country and there really isn’t a lot of opportunities there, and nowadays there is because of the Internet right the power of Internet which we can talk about.

22
00:03:16.770 –> 00:03:29.460
Ashrita Tiwari: But back in the 1980s, there really wasn’t any opportunities, and so my my parents were seeking a better future for themselves and their family, and so they came here and for us, that was a big deal back then.

23
00:03:30.180 –> 00:03:40.350
Ashrita Tiwari: Because getting a visa to the United States is like just winning the lottery right that’s like a huge thing, and so I came here when I was each six and the purpose of.

24
00:03:41.040 –> 00:03:50.670
Ashrita Tiwari: my brother and I coming here was to become educated right there isn’t a lot of educational opportunities in Nepal there wasn’t at least when I was little and.

25
00:03:51.510 –> 00:03:59.010
Ashrita Tiwari: The whole goal was for us to do really well in the United States and get into a good college, like many people on right.

26
00:03:59.550 –> 00:04:11.700
Ashrita Tiwari: And and get a new get a good job, live a good life, and so, so I came to me as a six, however, my family wasn’t really necessarily well off or wealthy right so.

27
00:04:12.240 –> 00:04:19.380
Ashrita Tiwari: I grew up living in a household with five people, so it was my parents my brother and I and my sister, who was born here in the United States.

28
00:04:19.680 –> 00:04:26.610
Ashrita Tiwari: And there was five of us living in a one bedroom apartment for so long and we kind of moved around a lot, when I was a little girl.

29
00:04:27.150 –> 00:04:35.610
Ashrita Tiwari: From apartment to apartment and many of the apartments for a little and we work we woke up or we We grew up working class and.

30
00:04:36.090 –> 00:04:47.940
Ashrita Tiwari: i’m really grateful actually for those experiences that I had my early ages, because I learned a lot about myself and my work my own work ethic, but at the same time, there are a lot of things that.

31
00:04:48.840 –> 00:04:53.370
Ashrita Tiwari: Also, make things a little bit difficult when I was when I became an adult.

32
00:04:53.970 –> 00:05:03.510
Ashrita Tiwari: And I actually a little bit more about me I ended up being the first person in my family to attend college to go to college I got into my dream college, which is Boston college.

33
00:05:04.020 –> 00:05:14.940
Ashrita Tiwari: And became the first in my family, which was huge for us, and then a couple years later I ended up getting my masters, which was I also was the first with my masters in higher ED and leadership.

34
00:05:15.570 –> 00:05:22.290
Ashrita Tiwari: And while I was in my program and my master’s program I became really interested in health and wellness just because.

35
00:05:22.740 –> 00:05:28.740
Ashrita Tiwari: I wanted to balance everything that I was doing myself, so I kind of just fell on it like it wasn’t even something I planned.

36
00:05:29.340 –> 00:05:38.520
Ashrita Tiwari: And I realized when I would focus on my health and wellness and really focus on my habits that I actually was excelling in my classes as well, and also excelling in my internships.

37
00:05:39.090 –> 00:05:46.380
Ashrita Tiwari: And, and so I knew there was something there and I started to really just follow that like it was an intuitive knowing that I just followed.

38
00:05:47.640 –> 00:06:00.120
Ashrita Tiwari: And a couple years later, actually ended up becoming certified as a personal trainer because I realized Oh, this is something i’m really good at, and people are asking me a lot of questions about this so maybe I can start really working in this, and so.

39
00:06:00.510 –> 00:06:12.090
Ashrita Tiwari: I started my business in personal training, while I was working full time and it wasn’t until maybe recently until this year that I left my nine to five job that I had.

40
00:06:12.600 –> 00:06:30.360
Ashrita Tiwari: gone to school for many years for and decided to go all in and my business and so now i’m actually hypnotherapist and I work with clients on helping them clear their subconscious fears and help them through self sabotage right help them through their habits.

41
00:06:31.470 –> 00:06:36.720
Ashrita Tiwari: And yeah that’s kind of a little bit of what I do now and, and I know there’s a lot to explore there Jason so.

42
00:06:37.710 –> 00:06:38.160
Jason Mefford: Well there’s.

43
00:06:39.330 –> 00:06:41.310
Jason Mefford: there’s there’s a lot to unpack there with.

44
00:06:41.910 –> 00:06:46.890
Jason Mefford: What we’re doing right now what’s interesting because you know, again we talked about.

45
00:06:47.670 –> 00:06:53.730
Jason Mefford: On my podcast we talked about what we talked about but we talked about a lot of things that we don’t talk about too right so.

46
00:06:54.570 –> 00:07:03.240
Jason Mefford: So one of the things that I that I found interesting that I want to make sure that people don’t jump over is the experience you had there when you were in college.

47
00:07:03.900 –> 00:07:12.480
Jason Mefford: And, and so make sure that I heard this right is, you said you know when I when I started focusing on my habits and on my health.

48
00:07:13.380 –> 00:07:19.680
Jason Mefford: I realized right that my schoolwork was going better everything else was going better right.

49
00:07:20.400 –> 00:07:27.120
Jason Mefford: And, and I think this is it’s it’s one of those key lessons for people and it’s sometimes it’s pretty damn hard.

50
00:07:27.810 –> 00:07:36.990
Jason Mefford: To to let go and to go that way right, because it seems, you know, especially in immigrant to this country.

51
00:07:37.680 –> 00:07:45.330
Jason Mefford: I you know I know you know most you know first generation immigrant families there’s a lot of pressure put on the kids because it’s like.

52
00:07:45.810 –> 00:07:55.140
Jason Mefford: We sacrificed, we came to this country we’re sending you Boston college great great higher ED institution right and it’s like so they’re.

53
00:07:55.710 –> 00:08:11.010
Jason Mefford: they’re putting all their hopes and their dreams and their investment in you and so i’m sure there was a lot of pressure for you to do well at school, but what’s so interesting is that when we take the time.

54
00:08:12.150 –> 00:08:16.950
Jason Mefford: For those habits for our health, it seems counterintuitive.

55
00:08:17.490 –> 00:08:17.940
Jason Mefford: yeah right.

56
00:08:18.210 –> 00:08:21.300
Jason Mefford: Like i’m i’m taking time away from my school work.

57
00:08:21.840 –> 00:08:24.300
Jason Mefford: To go to the gym or do whatever i’m doing right.

58
00:08:25.320 –> 00:08:30.630
Jason Mefford: But by doing it it actually helps you in this other part of your wife said normal.

59
00:08:31.410 –> 00:08:40.080
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah um yeah actually that that is part of taking care of yourself and creating habits and routines for yourself right so.

60
00:08:40.380 –> 00:08:54.990
Ashrita Tiwari: For my for myself right I realized that the more that I would focus on my physical health which was committing to my workouts at that time, when I first explored health and wellness I really got into crossfit so I don’t know if your audience knows.

61
00:08:54.990 –> 00:09:04.410
Ashrita Tiwari: crossfit but I was really competitive and an athlete and that and the more that I committed to showing up for my classes, a lot of times, it was early right.

62
00:09:04.770 –> 00:09:12.450
Ashrita Tiwari: The more that I would have clarity throughout the day in regards to my classes and the lessons that I was teaching at that time I was also.

63
00:09:13.470 –> 00:09:22.470
Ashrita Tiwari: A teacher, I was a ta and teaching, a group of students, they were like almost the same age as me right here, I am in front of a classroom college classroom.

64
00:09:22.920 –> 00:09:31.710
Ashrita Tiwari: Teaching at least like 40 to 50 students and so in a way, the health and wellness allowed me to build confidence in myself right but also.

65
00:09:32.280 –> 00:09:42.060
Ashrita Tiwari: Stay productive and stay focused when So when I have to sit down and write a research paper or if I had to like i’m read a whole book within a week, which was.

66
00:09:42.600 –> 00:09:53.370
Ashrita Tiwari: which was something they asked for a lot right during that time I could actually sit and focus and that’s because I gave my brain a break, when I would take care of myself right when I would exercise.

67
00:09:54.480 –> 00:10:07.980
Ashrita Tiwari: And it also just gave me more energy internally right so and I actually tested this out a little bit, where I was like Okay, let me see what would happen if I don’t exercise for like exercise is like really focused on my nutrition.

68
00:10:08.370 –> 00:10:20.400
Ashrita Tiwari: And running I also got into like marathon half marathon running at that time, let me just not do this for a couple weeks and see what happens and I noticed that my energy level just went way down right like it was just way down and I felt.

69
00:10:20.700 –> 00:10:30.990
Ashrita Tiwari: Not motivated I didn’t felt energized to do my work so for me, I feel like the exercise that eating well the really making sure i’m cooking food for myself and rather than.

70
00:10:31.380 –> 00:10:44.400
Ashrita Tiwari: Eating out right those things, yes, they take time right um but for me it felt so worth it, because I noticed how different I felt, and it was really for me, it was the feeling, because that that was what was driving.

71
00:10:44.760 –> 00:10:50.610
Ashrita Tiwari: My productivity and my motivation right all of that came along with taking care of myself.

72
00:10:51.450 –> 00:10:59.700
Jason Mefford: Well i’m guessing you probably hear this from your clients because i’ve heard this from people that I know I felt this way myself right where.

73
00:11:00.300 –> 00:11:17.160
Jason Mefford: we’re sometimes we think you know what I don’t have time to go for a half an hour walk I don’t have time to go to the gym I don’t have time to eat more healthy right it’s it’s much quicker to just go through the drive through.

74
00:11:18.390 –> 00:11:21.420
Jason Mefford: You know, and because we don’t have time but.

75
00:11:22.770 –> 00:11:26.460
Jason Mefford: Just know more, we we can’t afford not to take the time.

76
00:11:26.730 –> 00:11:27.570
Ashrita Tiwari: Right yeah.

77
00:11:27.780 –> 00:11:33.810
Jason Mefford: Because of because of the benefits that you see like you said you even tried, where you went for a couple weeks without it.

78
00:11:34.530 –> 00:11:35.880
Jason Mefford: And you could tell a big difference.

79
00:11:35.940 –> 00:11:43.560
Ashrita Tiwari: Right yeah absolutely absolutely and the other part, that I didn’t share also was you know, a big part of why I got into health and wellness.

80
00:11:44.040 –> 00:11:48.600
Ashrita Tiwari: The driving motivation for me was I grew up watching my mom so.

81
00:11:49.170 –> 00:11:55.920
Ashrita Tiwari: My mom actually developed schizophrenia at a very young age, so it’s a mental illness For those of you who don’t know and they.

82
00:11:56.280 –> 00:12:00.870
Ashrita Tiwari: When you have schizophrenia there’s a lot of hallucination and you see things right.

83
00:12:01.350 –> 00:12:08.880
Ashrita Tiwari: And so, growing up, there was a lot of chaos in my household because of that in On top of that, I watched my mom develop diabetes.

84
00:12:09.240 –> 00:12:19.740
Ashrita Tiwari: And I watched this as a little girl her kind of get worse, every year, right through her lifestyle and, although, like I didn’t make that connection at first.

85
00:12:20.310 –> 00:12:25.380
Ashrita Tiwari: The more I started to dive into this work I realized that’s why i’ve been so motivated by this work.

86
00:12:25.770 –> 00:12:35.190
Ashrita Tiwari: was because on an uncommon like on a subconscious level, I was holding on to this belief that I didn’t want to be like my mom like I didn’t want to end up like my mom.

87
00:12:35.460 –> 00:12:43.530
Ashrita Tiwari: And that was the work that I discovered more when I started to dive into subconscious reprogramming and like understanding, some of those beliefs, that we don’t normally look at.

88
00:12:44.010 –> 00:12:50.250
Ashrita Tiwari: um but, for me, one of the motivating things was my mom and and I think many people.

89
00:12:51.240 –> 00:12:59.970
Ashrita Tiwari: That are listening to probably can relate to this right have probably watched either family members or friends close to them, who have.

90
00:13:00.390 –> 00:13:10.620
Ashrita Tiwari: Probably on an unconscious level right create have created choices that have led to some sort of illness or some sort of weight gain or some sort of mental.

91
00:13:12.120 –> 00:13:21.210
Ashrita Tiwari: Mental illness or something right and a lot of it is things that we can control, which is empowering right it’s this is it’s really empowering to know hey we can control this.

92
00:13:21.660 –> 00:13:30.990
Ashrita Tiwari: And the choices that we make the lifestyle choices we make can make a big difference in whether you end up getting diabetes or not right or whether you end up with some sort of.

93
00:13:32.430 –> 00:13:43.560
Ashrita Tiwari: illness right that we can actually prevent and so a driving factor for me, was also this knowing that, like my mom had schizophrenia my mom had developed, diabetes and my father also has.

94
00:13:44.880 –> 00:13:52.200
Ashrita Tiwari: He has arthritis right and so like I grew up with all of these health complications and.

95
00:13:52.920 –> 00:14:00.390
Ashrita Tiwari: I didn’t really know at a young age, that what was driving it I just knew that there was something that wasn’t right like something that my parents were doing was.

96
00:14:00.750 –> 00:14:13.410
Ashrita Tiwari: They were missing something right, and so, and then, when I started exploring crossfit I noticed how great I felt and how how more confident, I felt in the classroom even in dating I felt so much more confident dating right.

97
00:14:13.980 –> 00:14:21.540
Ashrita Tiwari: um, and so I knew that I had to keep following that like there was something there and so so yeah you’re right I think people don’t realize.

98
00:14:22.110 –> 00:14:30.510
Ashrita Tiwari: that yes, right now, and might feel like it’s going to take time out of your schedule, but think about how much time receiving later on in those years right like.

99
00:14:30.750 –> 00:14:36.120
Ashrita Tiwari: And i’ve watched my parents just take tons of pills right like and pharmaceutical pills.

100
00:14:36.690 –> 00:14:52.740
Ashrita Tiwari: That actually yes they’re helping their symptoms temporarily but they’re creating all these other complications in the long run right so, and so I don’t know if that’s helpful to hear that, but that was also part of why i’m so committed to my health and wellness because i’ve seen I.

101
00:14:53.970 –> 00:14:56.940
Ashrita Tiwari: started what it can do when you don’t focus on your health and wellness.

102
00:14:57.870 –> 00:15:10.740
Jason Mefford: Oh it’s interesting because, like you said it’s not just you know years down the line, which obviously there are benefits as we get older right, the more active, we are now, the more we avoid certain things in the future.

103
00:15:10.920 –> 00:15:12.240
Jason Mefford: Some of us wait.

104
00:15:12.510 –> 00:15:19.080
Jason Mefford: Right until those things crop up and then it’s like oh shit now i’ve got to do something, because I do have diabetes, or whatever right.

105
00:15:20.070 –> 00:15:32.190
Jason Mefford: But but what’s interesting is even even at the short micro thing right like that that decision that we’re consciously trying to make of well I don’t really have a half an hour to go for a walk well.

106
00:15:33.450 –> 00:15:47.460
Jason Mefford: But isn’t your productivity, probably going to be greater even in that current day I probably more than the 30 minutes if you take that time away and then come back to do what it is that you need to do.

107
00:15:47.910 –> 00:15:56.490
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah absolutely absolutely and and it’s actually not good for our brains to be constantly just working right you actually want to give your brain a break so.

108
00:15:56.850 –> 00:16:04.380
Ashrita Tiwari: Whether that’s just like maybe taking a lunch break at noon, or maybe in the morning, whatever it is, but I always recommend my clients.

109
00:16:04.860 –> 00:16:12.900
Ashrita Tiwari: That they make some effort to like get out of their desks right and just move for a little bit right whether it’s just going on time for 15 minutes.

110
00:16:13.260 –> 00:16:23.010
Ashrita Tiwari: And, and I don’t know if you talk about this, but just being outside right like being out there with sun is so helpful for our health, like it actually helps our immune system and helps us.

111
00:16:23.250 –> 00:16:33.240
Ashrita Tiwari: in so many ways that people don’t realize and just a simple act of walk walking there’s so many health benefits, just to walking and you know I know I talked about crossfit and all of that right.

112
00:16:33.810 –> 00:16:37.950
Ashrita Tiwari: But you don’t have to do that, you can just go for a walk right and start making that a habit.

113
00:16:38.640 –> 00:16:44.880
Jason Mefford: yeah what is something easy that anybody can do right, no matter what you’re at I mean I.

114
00:16:46.380 –> 00:16:48.780
Jason Mefford: little about me right, I grew up being a runner.

115
00:16:49.050 –> 00:16:52.530
Jason Mefford: Right I ran cross country and track and everything and.

116
00:16:52.980 –> 00:17:10.290
Jason Mefford: It was always you know always did good about going from my run every day I haven’t done that so well, the last little while as i’ve gotten to middle age right and so now what am I doing right, I mean I i’ve got down to five k’s of i’m going to be running here in the next couple of months.

117
00:17:10.470 –> 00:17:26.730
Jason Mefford: Right now, am I ready for it, yet no right and and honestly i’ve been sedentary for so long that I can’t just go out and run like I used to run right like it hurt myself, I mean my body doesn’t want to move that way so right now i’m just walking.

118
00:17:27.150 –> 00:17:29.970
Jason Mefford: By just going for a half an hour walk each day.

119
00:17:30.630 –> 00:17:32.700
Jason Mefford: Telling myself, I am a runner.

120
00:17:33.000 –> 00:17:39.120
Jason Mefford: yeah we’re going to get to that it here in just a second when we talk more about the subconscious stuff but.

121
00:17:40.170 –> 00:17:44.940
Jason Mefford: But it’s just that little step anybody can do some simple things.

122
00:17:45.060 –> 00:17:48.060
Jason Mefford: That will provide some benefit anyway.

123
00:17:48.450 –> 00:17:48.930
yeah.

124
00:17:51.090 –> 00:18:00.540
Ashrita Tiwari: And I think it’s also less about you, yes, you want to get to that five key, but the fact that you’re just taking the step now to work towards that is amazing.

125
00:18:01.650 –> 00:18:14.250
Ashrita Tiwari: And the other thing is like you know the older we get we actually are supposed to be increasing activity level not decreasing right we’ve been we’ve been conditioned and taught completely backwards right by our society.

126
00:18:15.000 –> 00:18:27.870
Jason Mefford: Well, and it’s and it’s funny because you know, as I was, I kind of made that decision i’m going to do it, I kind of picked a date a couple months out knowing again, I mean five K, I used to run those like 14 minutes right that was like.

127
00:18:28.200 –> 00:18:28.530
Ashrita Tiwari: wow I.

128
00:18:29.400 –> 00:18:30.540
Jason Mefford: can’t do that anymore.

129
00:18:32.160 –> 00:18:36.990
Jason Mefford: But I don’t have to write but but I said something out and then, as I was talking to my wife about it, she said.

130
00:18:37.650 –> 00:18:46.200
Jason Mefford: I said yeah you know there’s there’s a bunch of stuff around the holidays, but I don’t think i’m going to quite be ready for that and she’s like well why not, you can always walk it’s a run walk and i’m like.

131
00:18:47.400 –> 00:18:49.590
Jason Mefford: Well, of course, even if I can’t run.

132
00:18:50.400 –> 00:18:55.080
Jason Mefford: The whole time I could still sign up and run what I can and walk what I can.

133
00:18:55.590 –> 00:19:09.240
Jason Mefford: You know it’s it’s it’s a matter of us just kind of changing some of those stories, but we can do it and it’s worth it for us to take the time so don’t don’t tell myself I don’t have time for it make time for it right.

134
00:19:10.500 –> 00:19:18.540
Jason Mefford: But I wanted to go back to what you were talking about a little bit from your from your childhood, because I think this is going to tie well into some of this.

135
00:19:18.990 –> 00:19:26.670
Jason Mefford: clearing of your subconscious fears and some of the other things that you’re helping people with that I know we all deal with which is.

136
00:19:27.540 –> 00:19:37.620
Jason Mefford: You know, you were talking about your your parents in some of the things that they had gone through and realize that you know this was kind of a subconscious driver.

137
00:19:38.190 –> 00:19:48.960
Jason Mefford: behind you wanting to get more into fitness right and and and so that was a way that it that it kind of help or drove you, and it seems like.

138
00:19:49.590 –> 00:19:57.540
Jason Mefford: there’s there’s that instance where again there’s probably usually some subconscious reasons why we want to not be like our parents.

139
00:19:58.140 –> 00:20:07.500
Jason Mefford: But on the flip side other people think oh I can’t change I can’t be any different than my parents right.

140
00:20:08.040 –> 00:20:17.430
Jason Mefford: And so you know it seems like there’s subconscious things either holding us back or propelling us and we don’t even realize it right.

141
00:20:18.270 –> 00:20:35.160
Jason Mefford: And, and so much of the time we end up kind of sabotaging ourselves because there is some subconscious thing that’s that’s there so maybe let’s let’s kind of talk about that a little bit, because I know you have a background in hypnotherapy i’ve been doing it for a while.

142
00:20:35.310 –> 00:20:54.990
Jason Mefford: Not as as a as a person who, who has benefited from it right because i’m not a hypnotherapist, but I understand you know a lot of the power of the subconscious so let’s kind of get in and talk about that, because, as I said, you know I think a lot of people.

143
00:20:56.670 –> 00:21:10.260
Jason Mefford: They get frustrated they get down on themselves, they beat themselves up because they think you know damn it why, why can I not change my life, why can I not do what I want to do.

144
00:21:10.800 –> 00:21:15.570
Jason Mefford: and often there’s something subconscious that needs to be addressed.

145
00:21:15.930 –> 00:21:18.090
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah absolutely so yeah I mean.

146
00:21:19.980 –> 00:21:29.310
Ashrita Tiwari: lot of people are like that right, a lot of people are asking themselves why they can’t change, and one thing I do want to say is that i’m like.

147
00:21:30.150 –> 00:21:39.600
Ashrita Tiwari: don’t beat yourself up about it right, because I work with clients now and they tend to be like well why can’t I change this even though knowing this information, why can’t I change it.

148
00:21:39.900 –> 00:21:44.070
Ashrita Tiwari: And if you really think about it right, like many of us have been conditioned.

149
00:21:44.460 –> 00:21:57.480
Ashrita Tiwari: For years, right to think a specific way and believe a certain thing, and so, in order for us to reprogram that it’s going to take some time it’s going to take some consistency it’s going to take that we have some grapes for ourself.

150
00:21:57.870 –> 00:21:59.970
Ashrita Tiwari: And so I want people to understand that.

151
00:22:00.720 –> 00:22:11.790
Ashrita Tiwari: The reason that they’re probably self sabotaging or they’re into self doubt or they have these fears it’s it’s because they they’ve learned this unconsciously, without knowing.

152
00:22:12.120 –> 00:22:21.900
Ashrita Tiwari: This is how they’re supposed to be right, and so we have we do have to be kind to ourselves because, like when I started doing this work right a couple of years ago, I had these set of.

153
00:22:22.590 –> 00:22:31.320
Ashrita Tiwari: These beliefs and ways of being that I had learned over like 30 plus years of my life, so I couldn’t expect myself to change this overnight right.

154
00:22:31.530 –> 00:22:36.990
Ashrita Tiwari: So that’s one thing that I do want to start with, in saying that, like you have to be kind to yourself, when you’re doing this work.

155
00:22:37.350 –> 00:22:40.080
Ashrita Tiwari: With the subconscious reprogramming because it’s been something that’s.

156
00:22:40.470 –> 00:22:49.110
Ashrita Tiwari: been in our subconscious mind for most of our lives, and on top of that, prior to our life so meaning your parents have carried these beliefs right.

157
00:22:49.380 –> 00:22:57.660
Ashrita Tiwari: Your your ancestors have carried asleep, so we really have to be kind to ourselves when we start thinking about like why isn’t this working fast enough right um.

158
00:22:58.170 –> 00:22:59.700
Ashrita Tiwari: But back to what you were saying.

159
00:23:00.510 –> 00:23:07.200
Ashrita Tiwari: Really, and I know how I don’t know how much you’ve shared about the subconscious mind here, but the way that I look at subconscious reprogramming is.

160
00:23:07.470 –> 00:23:16.590
Ashrita Tiwari: it’s really a way for us to tap into our potential right, we always hear people say oh my gosh as a human, we have so much potential human potential all of that right you hear that a lot.

161
00:23:17.130 –> 00:23:26.910
Ashrita Tiwari: And when you really get into your subconscious mind and start rewiring those those ingrained beliefs that were not even aware of and those those emotions right.

162
00:23:27.390 –> 00:23:32.550
Ashrita Tiwari: We start to really tap into the potential that we do have as humans and.

163
00:23:33.450 –> 00:23:44.220
Ashrita Tiwari: Our brain right our brain 90% of our brain is our our subconscious mind and 10% of our brain is our conscious mind right, so our subconscious mind is where.

164
00:23:45.210 –> 00:23:49.770
Ashrita Tiwari: Where all of our beliefs, our emotions are frayed our spirituality is also there.

165
00:23:50.190 –> 00:23:56.220
Ashrita Tiwari: And it’s also the part of our brain that allows me to breathe, right now, without thinking about it right, it allows my.

166
00:23:56.520 –> 00:24:06.720
Ashrita Tiwari: My heart to pump without me thinking about it my lungs are pumping without me thinking about right there’s a whole world inside every human body that’s being controlled by the subconscious mind that we’re not even aware of right because.

167
00:24:07.230 –> 00:24:11.580
Ashrita Tiwari: that’s that’s the type of like power that we actually have and people don’t realize it.

168
00:24:12.060 –> 00:24:20.070
Ashrita Tiwari: And, and so, when we’re tapping into the subconscious mind it’s really a focus state of awareness and it’s a way for us to really.

169
00:24:20.400 –> 00:24:25.860
Ashrita Tiwari: reprogram some of those beliefs, that are ingrained in our mind and bring them up.

170
00:24:26.310 –> 00:24:36.750
Ashrita Tiwari: and show like why maybe you’re into self sabotage behaviors right why maybe these certain fears keep coming up so, for example, my clients that I work with.

171
00:24:37.200 –> 00:24:42.210
Ashrita Tiwari: They have a lot of anxiety and fears that come up when it comes to being seen and heard in their business.

172
00:24:43.050 –> 00:24:47.340
Ashrita Tiwari: And the reason that that’s coming up is because it’s in their subconscious mind and these fears.

173
00:24:47.640 –> 00:24:58.800
Ashrita Tiwari: have been there for a really long time, and most of the time it has nothing really to do even with their business right it’s more around their own beliefs and their emotions and the way that they think about themselves and feel about themselves so.

174
00:25:00.060 –> 00:25:04.770
Ashrita Tiwari: So yes, the subconscious programming is super powerful and um.

175
00:25:05.490 –> 00:25:10.470
Ashrita Tiwari: that’s one thing that I realized, when I was a personal trainer right, I was doing a lot of habits work.

176
00:25:10.770 –> 00:25:21.870
Ashrita Tiwari: With my clients and my clients were coming to me because they wanted to lose weight right and many of my clients would lose weight I would give them the program i’ll give them the nutrition plan I would give them the mindset even right.

177
00:25:23.070 –> 00:25:29.040
Ashrita Tiwari: And they would be able to lose the 10 pounds, but then a couple weeks later, or maybe a couple months later.

178
00:25:29.370 –> 00:25:35.250
Ashrita Tiwari: They will regain those that wait and so, for me, I was like okay there’s something that’s not sticking here right and I knew it was.

179
00:25:35.610 –> 00:25:42.450
Ashrita Tiwari: When I once I started to learn about subconscious reprogramming that it was because their beliefs right they still have these beliefs about themselves.

180
00:25:43.200 –> 00:25:54.990
Ashrita Tiwari: And about being overweight right and they still have this identity that they’re carrying around about themselves that isn’t actually helping them keep that weight off, and so a lot of this work is around.

181
00:25:56.130 –> 00:26:07.290
Ashrita Tiwari: Our beliefs, our emotions, but it’s also around looking into identity right and looking at how do we actually see ourselves right so, for example, when I When I entered a.

182
00:26:08.400 –> 00:26:18.420
Ashrita Tiwari: I don’t know if you’re not but, if you remember, but I did my first bodybuilding competition last year right and it took me a while to get there, and I really had to reprogram my mind.

183
00:26:18.930 –> 00:26:27.480
Ashrita Tiwari: To see myself already as someone who’s a bodybuilder who’s on stage right it took me a really long time and I had to really dig into my beliefs and dig into.

184
00:26:28.380 –> 00:26:38.670
Ashrita Tiwari: The thoughts that I was having around myself about becoming a bodybuilder so I don’t know if that answers your question, but that that’s that’s a little bit of that work and and.

185
00:26:39.570 –> 00:26:50.400
Ashrita Tiwari: And for self sabotage right it’s the same thing, so I know a lot of people who will like get into binge eating right binge eating as a thing and that’s The thing that actually I personally struggled with years ago.

186
00:26:50.970 –> 00:26:59.340
Ashrita Tiwari: And it wasn’t until I started doing subconscious reprogramming and really looking at why certain emotions kept coming up for me.

187
00:26:59.670 –> 00:27:09.450
Ashrita Tiwari: Were they looking at that emotions and why it was coming up for me and start really shifting that that’s when I started was able to overcome binge eating as well, but really are you know are.

188
00:27:09.990 –> 00:27:13.860
Ashrita Tiwari: You are you probably talk about this Jason right like our thoughts.

189
00:27:14.430 –> 00:27:29.970
Ashrita Tiwari: will lead to how we feel right and how we feel comes from our beliefs and our beliefs kind of causes our behavior right like how we behave in the world, and so we have to be really careful with that and it comes down straight to like pretty much our thoughts and our beliefs.

190
00:27:31.080 –> 00:27:41.760
Jason Mefford: yeah want to think it’s interesting because, as you were talking there there, so you know you talked about the 10% 90% you know, to get depends on who you talk to some people say 10% some say 5%.

191
00:27:42.330 –> 00:28:03.990
Jason Mefford: You know, whatever right What it means is that you know there’s a there’s a misconception out there because i’ve heard this from a lot of people, we only use 10% of our brain, we only use 5% of our brain nope we use 100% of our brain, but only five to 10% of our brain processing is conscious.

192
00:28:04.080 –> 00:28:10.950
Jason Mefford: Right right so it’s it’s me sitting here going oh i’m looking at my hand oh i’m looking at the street i’m.

193
00:28:11.340 –> 00:28:19.230
Jason Mefford: i’m talking to her i’m sitting in my office right it’s our that conscious part of our brain is only represents five to 10% so.

194
00:28:19.890 –> 00:28:29.010
Jason Mefford: You know, for people that are are having trouble procrastinating you know or or have some of these different fears or anxiety that come up.

195
00:28:29.610 –> 00:28:42.150
Jason Mefford: for you to sit there and think that five to 10% of your brain and your conscious willpower of sitting here going i’m going to go outside and go for a walk i’m going to go right.

196
00:28:42.660 –> 00:28:44.760
Jason Mefford: That that consciousness.

197
00:28:44.850 –> 00:28:47.550
Jason Mefford: will never be the 90%.

198
00:28:47.760 –> 00:28:48.750
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah right.

199
00:28:49.380 –> 00:29:06.630
Jason Mefford: And and that’s why you know a lot of these different tools to help us access in reprogram the subconscious are so powerful right because it’s literally like you’re going in and changing the computer code in your brain.

200
00:29:07.050 –> 00:29:17.310
Jason Mefford: Right, exactly, and I think that’s probably one of the reasons why you got into into hypnotherapy as well right so so maybe maybe talk a little bit about that or how that.

201
00:29:18.090 –> 00:29:27.420
Jason Mefford: How that kind of works, a little bit too because, again I know i’ve talked about it a lot in some other podcasts and other places, but maybe not so much on this particular one.

202
00:29:27.840 –> 00:29:32.460
Jason Mefford: yeah what it is, because that word typically scares people.

203
00:29:32.610 –> 00:29:34.650
Jason Mefford: yeah there’s nothing to be scared about.

204
00:29:35.790 –> 00:29:47.880
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah so um so really when I go through a hypnosis session with my clients all i’m really doing is i’m taking them through a series of exercises to relax their mind right because we live in.

205
00:29:48.180 –> 00:29:57.810
Ashrita Tiwari: Such a crazy chaotic world that’s always telling us to go go go and do do do that people have like most people, especially for high achiever right they become so conditioned.

206
00:29:58.200 –> 00:30:05.970
Ashrita Tiwari: To like being in high alert and what i’ve noticed also is that most of my clients don’t even know how to breathe properly right because.

207
00:30:06.570 –> 00:30:17.250
Ashrita Tiwari: they’re just in this constant go go go they don’t even they’re not even breathing properly right, and so, with my hypnosis what I do is I help them relax their mind right and it’s really just.

208
00:30:17.850 –> 00:30:23.910
Ashrita Tiwari: When I when I help them relax what i’m doing is i’m helping them slow down their brainwave state right and they’re going.

209
00:30:24.150 –> 00:30:34.560
Ashrita Tiwari: From there going from Alpha and theta state, so what we’re doing is we we passed the conscious mind and access the subconscious mind by slowing down your brainwave state.

210
00:30:35.040 –> 00:30:44.160
Ashrita Tiwari: And when we do that that’s when our subconscious mind is actually open to receiving whatever we’re telling it right, and for many people, the work that I do.

211
00:30:45.660 –> 00:30:55.410
Ashrita Tiwari: In hypnosis is around self worth self love right habits, our life is created by our habits right, so we really focus on the habits that we have.

212
00:30:56.400 –> 00:31:04.320
Ashrita Tiwari: And for some people there’s a lot of work that they need to do from their childhood right so we’ll do a lot of inner child work.

213
00:31:04.560 –> 00:31:09.630
Ashrita Tiwari: And then we’ll do a lot of future future work as well, like seeing your future self and so.

214
00:31:09.930 –> 00:31:17.400
Ashrita Tiwari: really what we’re doing is we’re just helping people get into a commerce state so similar to meditation right a lot of people I know that’s more popular now.

215
00:31:17.700 –> 00:31:26.700
Ashrita Tiwari: And people are scared by that so it’s similar process right, but now we’re just getting them into a certain brainwave state where they’re open to receiving.

216
00:31:27.000 –> 00:31:38.610
Ashrita Tiwari: Whatever i’m telling them because the thing is our subconscious mind is is is most open when we do that, however, our subconscious mind is always it’s always on right, so what I mean by that is like.

217
00:31:39.690 –> 00:31:51.030
Ashrita Tiwari: We might like we might not be consciously processing something, but our subconscious mind is always processing it right from billboards to whatever watching on TV sounds all over the place.

218
00:31:51.870 –> 00:31:58.710
Ashrita Tiwari: Maybe if you’re with friends friends saying things that may be consciously you’re like oh that’s not a big deal, but then it goes into your subconscious mind right.

219
00:31:58.920 –> 00:32:04.410
Ashrita Tiwari: So our subconscious mind is literally processing all the time, like you said and super powerful and so.

220
00:32:04.920 –> 00:32:13.380
Ashrita Tiwari: When we bring them into just a relaxed state we’re just kind of opening that up more and we’re giving it new thoughts and beliefs, that are actually going to empower my clients.

221
00:32:13.650 –> 00:32:20.340
Ashrita Tiwari: and actually help them build new habits and help them develop a better relationship with themselves right um.

222
00:32:20.940 –> 00:32:27.150
Ashrita Tiwari: And so I don’t know if that answers your question a little bit, but yeah it’s really so and I know there’s a lot of misconception right like people think that.

223
00:32:27.570 –> 00:32:34.320
Ashrita Tiwari: You know when you’re in a in hypnosis you lose control like none of that happens right you’re in full control you’ll never lose control.

224
00:32:34.740 –> 00:32:41.400
Ashrita Tiwari: And there’s a lot of misconception from the media around like stage hypnosis there is such thing called stage hypnosis.

225
00:32:41.820 –> 00:32:50.460
Ashrita Tiwari: But even with stage hypnosis we’re still have full control right you’re not losing control over what you’re doing your body and your emotions, you can have full control through that so.

226
00:32:51.210 –> 00:32:57.150
Ashrita Tiwari: it’s really just a place for us to tap into your subconscious mind and rewire those thoughts right because.

227
00:32:57.600 –> 00:33:05.490
Ashrita Tiwari: So many of us live in a world where or in our minds, I would say that, like it’s always negative and our brain loves to focus on the negative right like.

228
00:33:06.090 –> 00:33:13.890
Ashrita Tiwari: How many times have you been given a really good compliments from people and there’s that one person, maybe that doesn’t give you a good compliment and all you do is focus on that.

229
00:33:13.980 –> 00:33:18.390
Ashrita Tiwari: That negative compliment right or that negative comment comment For those of you who have businesses.

230
00:33:18.930 –> 00:33:25.260
Ashrita Tiwari: And, and so our brain loves to focus on the negative so in the hypnosis session what we’re doing is we’re really.

231
00:33:25.620 –> 00:33:32.250
Ashrita Tiwari: slowing down allowing me to relax right because our natural state is actually to be relaxed it’s not to be hyper.

232
00:33:32.640 –> 00:33:39.600
Ashrita Tiwari: You know hyper intense and breathing like shallow breathing, which is something that I noticed that a lot of people in our world today.

233
00:33:39.930 –> 00:33:49.020
Ashrita Tiwari: They don’t breathe properly and that wasn’t the case for me, too, because I started to do some breath work and I was like oh I can’t even hold my breath for that long right I can’t even hold it in and out for that long.

234
00:33:49.860 –> 00:34:02.070
Ashrita Tiwari: um so yeah it’s really just a session to like focus on what are the beliefs, that you want to have, what are the thoughts that you want to have right, and how are these thoughts and beliefs, are going to how are they going to empower you to.

235
00:34:02.400 –> 00:34:10.290
Ashrita Tiwari: Whatever goal, you have whether it’s losing weight, whether it’s having a successful business, whatever it is that you’re you’re looking to do.

236
00:34:11.670 –> 00:34:18.450
Jason Mefford: yeah and I think it’s you know it’s interesting as your as you’re kind of going through that because, again, I mean for me that’s been doing this for years.

237
00:34:19.080 –> 00:34:25.680
Jason Mefford: I understand I understand how the brain works and trying to do that, but like you said it’s it’s slowing down our brain waves.

238
00:34:26.070 –> 00:34:42.450
Jason Mefford: But I know a lot of people are still a little hesitant or they’re like well I could never be hypnotized or that wouldn’t work on me, or you know, whatever else but you know again it’s like how many how many times have you been sitting there, and you kind of zone out.

239
00:34:42.870 –> 00:34:46.500
Jason Mefford: you’re listening to music or I mean I do this, all the time, where i’m.

240
00:34:46.920 –> 00:34:56.250
Jason Mefford: i’m sitting there i’m listening to music i’m in a certain headspace right in fact there’s actually a meditation APP called headspace, I think, for that reason right.

241
00:34:57.210 –> 00:35:04.770
Jason Mefford: But i’m in a certain headspace and all of a sudden my wife will say something to me and it’s like she’s pulling me out of asleep almost like.

242
00:35:05.370 –> 00:35:15.780
Jason Mefford: I know she’s talking to me, but I have no idea what she’s saying, right now, I have to like pull myself back out and kind of go Okay, can you say that again because I didn’t get that right.

243
00:35:16.590 –> 00:35:26.250
Jason Mefford: Because during the day we all right get into some trance like States during the day when we’re watching movies, when we’re doing.

244
00:35:26.610 –> 00:35:39.330
Jason Mefford: You know, different things like that we tend to get into that phase already it’s just you know, being able to either put ourselves there by using something like meditation or some other tech breathing techniques.

245
00:35:39.840 –> 00:35:44.220
Jason Mefford: or doing something like a hypnotherapy session, which is just a lot quicker right.

246
00:35:44.280 –> 00:35:45.840
Jason Mefford: and being able to get you down.

247
00:35:46.260 –> 00:35:59.190
Jason Mefford: And then have the help of somebody else going in there and rewriting the program which is, which is why I gave the little hand before if everybody was listening right when i’m walking and when I am.

248
00:36:00.600 –> 00:36:06.060
Jason Mefford: You know, quietly relaxing one of the things that i’m saying to myself, is, I am a runner.

249
00:36:06.360 –> 00:36:16.890
Jason Mefford: Yes, I am a runner I am a runner and i’ve you know, again, I had a little medical procedure done so I can’t I can’t work out.

250
00:36:17.400 –> 00:36:25.320
Jason Mefford: You know, for another week or so until that’s all done, but I can still go for a walk and what’s The interesting thing is.

251
00:36:25.980 –> 00:36:41.670
Jason Mefford: You know i’ve been telling myself this regularly for a week or two, and even though i’m holding myself back i’m still just walking you know again for another week I can feel myself as i’m walking like my body just wants to start running.

252
00:36:43.020 –> 00:36:57.630
Jason Mefford: Which is it’s kind of weird because again by doing that i’m i’m reprogramming myself that I am a runner I am a runner I am a runner and so at that identity or belief level i’m starting to believe it.

253
00:36:58.080 –> 00:36:59.610
Jason Mefford: So much so that my body.

254
00:36:59.970 –> 00:37:07.170
Jason Mefford: yeah is seeing itself or wanting to physically take off, besides me me just going through it in my mind.

255
00:37:07.620 –> 00:37:12.810
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah so and our subconscious mind is so smart right like it remembers because you used to be a runner.

256
00:37:13.800 –> 00:37:29.700
Ashrita Tiwari: Was remembers that and, on top of that, we have muscle on them as well right, so I think when you start writing you’ll be surprised at how much easier it is, and you actually think um so that’s just something I wanted to put out there for you.

257
00:37:30.900 –> 00:37:36.360
Jason Mefford: know it will be like I said, if I hadn’t had this little medical procedure last week, I would have.

258
00:37:37.290 –> 00:37:53.490
Jason Mefford: Already, probably been out there going and and and it’s like you said it’s the muscle memory once once we’re used to doing anything whenever we stop it’s so much easier to get on and go again right and that’s that’s why there’s the you know.

259
00:37:54.900 –> 00:38:03.270
Jason Mefford: You already know how to ride a bike ride, even though you haven’t ridden a bike and in forever, you can just get on a bike and you just start writing again right yeah.

260
00:38:03.450 –> 00:38:12.270
Ashrita Tiwari: Exactly yeah for sure for sure yeah and I love that I love that you’re telling yourself that you’re a runner already right, even though right now you’re not able to run you’re already.

261
00:38:12.630 –> 00:38:22.980
Ashrita Tiwari: you’re already like letting your subconscious mind know like this is the identity that I have for myself, and this is this is, who I am right and so that is really, really powerful because.

262
00:38:23.670 –> 00:38:28.500
Ashrita Tiwari: I think that a lot of times, people are like well I can’t really say I am that thing until I do it.

263
00:38:28.890 –> 00:38:42.330
Ashrita Tiwari: And that’s not always the case, you can start telling yourself, like, for example, before I got on stage I was already telling myself i’m on stage right, I already started, even on my hypnosis I really started visualizing myself.

264
00:38:42.750 –> 00:38:57.720
Ashrita Tiwari: On stage and doing my walk and being really confident and what I ended up doing my bodybuilding competition it actually turned out to be the exact thing that I actually visualize in my some kind of what I was doing my subconscious reprogramming which I thought was super powerful.

265
00:38:58.830 –> 00:39:03.960
Ashrita Tiwari: So you don’t actually have to also wait until you do that thing for you to start.

266
00:39:05.010 –> 00:39:16.080
Ashrita Tiwari: Working on that that internal work that’s what I like to say right so even with a lot of my a lot of the coaches, that I work with right, some of them haven’t even had any clients yet like they haven’t.

267
00:39:17.280 –> 00:39:28.560
Ashrita Tiwari: enrolled any new clients, but they’re already work doing this work to step into this identity as a coach as someone who’s helping clients and they’re already doing that internal work and many times.

268
00:39:28.980 –> 00:39:36.330
Ashrita Tiwari: What happens is because they’ve done this work, the subconscious reprogramming work it’s so much easier for them once they’re ready to get the client.

269
00:39:36.570 –> 00:39:42.030
Ashrita Tiwari: Work on this business right and just do the things that they need to do, whereas a lot of times.

270
00:39:42.480 –> 00:39:48.120
Ashrita Tiwari: What I see is that there’s a lot of people in business, who haven’t done this internal work.

271
00:39:48.540 –> 00:39:57.300
Ashrita Tiwari: And they might make it far right to certain extent, but they hit they hit like the ceiling, because they haven’t done that actual internal work and so.

272
00:39:58.020 –> 00:40:06.420
Ashrita Tiwari: That internal work what i’m saying is doesn’t start in the beginning, it like it’s an ongoing thing, no matter where you are in your business as well.

273
00:40:07.050 –> 00:40:07.350
yeah.

274
00:40:08.430 –> 00:40:23.970
Jason Mefford: Well, so you know because I know we we kind of talked about at the beginning, right those things that kind of I mean, these are some things that we all, you know we all have fears we all find ourselves, sometimes procrastinating you know feeling like we have to be perfect at everything.

275
00:40:24.150 –> 00:40:26.730
Jason Mefford: right before will do anything I mean again that’s.

276
00:40:27.180 –> 00:40:33.540
Jason Mefford: that’s crazy right that’s like me saying well unless unless I could be a world class marathoner i’m not even going to go out and run.

277
00:40:33.570 –> 00:40:45.270
Jason Mefford: Right it’s like everything has to start from somewhere The self doubt the overwhelm that so many of us end up feeling Ray so so I guess you know.

278
00:40:46.380 –> 00:41:02.700
Jason Mefford: Most people that are listening have felt some of that right so so what’s your what’s your advice to them, and maybe we can kind of give them some some tactical you know tip kind of thing to just start trying or doing something different.

279
00:41:03.840 –> 00:41:11.460
Jason Mefford: This week, I mean besides reaching out to you or therapist and having a session yeah what’s what’s something they can even start.

280
00:41:11.700 –> 00:41:14.040
Jason Mefford: Today, you know as soon as they finish listening to this.

281
00:41:14.100 –> 00:41:24.360
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah so I mean a lot of that you know that self doubt and the fears are coming from from your brain right they’re coming from literally your brain thinks it’s in danger.

282
00:41:24.750 –> 00:41:32.010
Ashrita Tiwari: And it’s on survival mode and so what I would recommend is start looking within right um and.

283
00:41:32.910 –> 00:41:41.910
Ashrita Tiwari: see if we can slow down and start asking and getting clear on one of the thoughts that i’m having right like it’s because your thoughts are leading to your emotions.

284
00:41:42.360 –> 00:41:46.110
Ashrita Tiwari: and your emotions it’s your behavior so you want to start slowing down.

285
00:41:46.500 –> 00:41:55.500
Ashrita Tiwari: And because many times I know we live in such a crazy world that we many people don’t even have the time to slow down, so I would recommend first just like carving out time.

286
00:41:55.950 –> 00:42:00.480
Ashrita Tiwari: Just to be with yourself, maybe just be with yourself for like 1015 minutes.

287
00:42:01.080 –> 00:42:06.090
Ashrita Tiwari: And, especially in moments when you’re feeling that stuff out when that anxiety is creeping in.

288
00:42:06.330 –> 00:42:15.870
Ashrita Tiwari: I want you to really start slowing down and asking yourself Okay, what are the thoughts that i’m having right now right and asking yourself like are these thoughts actually true because.

289
00:42:16.320 –> 00:42:23.040
Ashrita Tiwari: Most of the time these thoughts are not going to be true right like it’s going to be stories that we’ve created in our minds.

290
00:42:23.520 –> 00:42:30.090
Ashrita Tiwari: And what you can start doing right is once you ask and you’ll probably find that the stories aren’t true right.

291
00:42:30.540 –> 00:42:43.380
Ashrita Tiwari: And it start reframing those those thoughts, so how can you reframe those thoughts for it to actually work for you, rather than it cause more anxiety right because that’s what often happens is we go into this negative spiral.

292
00:42:43.980 –> 00:42:58.620
Ashrita Tiwari: About whatever it is we’re we’re thinking about and it’s kind of keeps going and going and we’re not really it’s harder for us to come on to that, so we can start catching ourselves like when we’re starting to feel the anxiety creep in and and first thing I do think when it comes to.

293
00:42:59.700 –> 00:43:05.730
Ashrita Tiwari: anxiety and understanding your emotions, you want to first understand where in your body you’re feeling the emotion right.

294
00:43:06.210 –> 00:43:13.980
Ashrita Tiwari: And that’s how you can identify like i’m an anxiety so, for example when i’m in anxiety, I know that my my chest gets really tight right and.

295
00:43:14.400 –> 00:43:17.550
Ashrita Tiwari: I tend to talk really fast that’s how i’ll know like okay i’m in anxiety.

296
00:43:17.880 –> 00:43:29.100
Ashrita Tiwari: And i’ll stop and i’ll just just first of all, just remind myself hey i’m good like i’m safe and nothing’s wrong i’m not in danger right because that’s that’s our brain telling us, we might be in danger.

297
00:43:29.700 –> 00:43:33.540
Ashrita Tiwari: When we when we feel like anxiety come up and.

298
00:43:34.260 –> 00:43:45.330
Ashrita Tiwari: As soon as I noticed that I asked myself Okay, what did what was I just thinking about and I just get clear on that, and then I just reframe it I just reframe it and look at it and really ask myself isn’t actually true.

299
00:43:45.720 –> 00:43:58.830
Ashrita Tiwari: And usually, when when I go through that process, and I do this process honestly like almost every day, like, I have a process for myself to check in with myself around are these thoughts actually true or not, if I especially if i’m feeling anxious.

300
00:43:59.970 –> 00:44:05.610
Ashrita Tiwari: And I just reframe them I just reframe them to something else that’s going to actually empower me and most of the time that helps.

301
00:44:06.420 –> 00:44:14.190
Ashrita Tiwari: um and another simple tool right is literally, and this is going to sign this might be a little cheesy for some people, but I literally put my hand on my heart.

302
00:44:14.550 –> 00:44:22.050
Ashrita Tiwari: and actually there’s studies done on this, that the that just putting a hand on your heart actually calms your nervous system down right.

303
00:44:22.410 –> 00:44:28.350
Ashrita Tiwari: And it’s going to end just breathe and I just remind myself hey i’m okay i’m loved and i’m safe.

304
00:44:28.980 –> 00:44:38.580
Ashrita Tiwari: And I just repeat that, sometimes, especially if I don’t have the moment to maybe like look at my thoughts and reframe them right if i’m in a place where I can’t do that I just put my hand on my heart.

305
00:44:39.000 –> 00:44:47.040
Ashrita Tiwari: And I just breathe and I just say i’m loved i’m okay and everything’s gonna be fine right you don’t have to use that exact phrase, but whatever is going to work for you.

306
00:44:47.820 –> 00:45:02.430
Ashrita Tiwari: But it’s really just a reminder to your brain telling you that you know you’re not in danger right because that’s what our human brain does our brain will that’s that’s what it does it’s likes to just tell us when we’re in danger, so that that is always a helpful tool for me.

307
00:45:03.900 –> 00:45:18.090
Ashrita Tiwari: in regards to just helping with self doubt when the self doubt creeps in or when there’s any self sabotage behaviors that i’m going into right because usually the self sabotage those behaviors are.

308
00:45:19.020 –> 00:45:25.770
Ashrita Tiwari: Our is after I have a series of thoughts and emotions right, and then I get into that behavior so it’s always looking back.

309
00:45:26.190 –> 00:45:33.360
Ashrita Tiwari: and seeing what are the thoughts that i’m having and identifying like wearing your body, the emotion that’s coming, and I would say that.

310
00:45:33.630 –> 00:45:40.440
Ashrita Tiwari: is probably going to be the most powerful thing for people to do first is identify like when i’m in anxiety how where did, where do I feel it.

311
00:45:40.830 –> 00:45:47.400
Ashrita Tiwari: Because that helps you know, because sometimes you know because we’re an autopilot it’s hard for us to know exactly what the thoughts are right, some of us like.

312
00:45:47.760 –> 00:45:56.550
Ashrita Tiwari: When I work with my clients i’m like okay let’s talk about the thoughts that you’re having they’re like I don’t know what the thoughts are i’m like okay let’s let’s let’s feel it out, then we’re in your body, are you feeling it right so.

313
00:45:56.970 –> 00:46:08.310
Ashrita Tiwari: I think that could be an easier place for a lot of people that haven’t really done this, this thought work and dove into the stories, because that can be a little bit harder, especially for people that just aren’t exposed to this.

314
00:46:08.730 –> 00:46:15.090
Jason Mefford: yeah well so some good good takeaways and a good way to kind of end up, you know as far as.

315
00:46:15.630 –> 00:46:24.690
Jason Mefford: Some practical things for people to do so again just kind of as a little recap, because again go back and listen to the whole thing you can because there was a lot of stuff that came out in here right so.

316
00:46:25.230 –> 00:46:29.790
Jason Mefford: Why don’t we talked about at the beginning, related to you know your health and even some exercise.

317
00:46:30.720 –> 00:46:31.830
Jason Mefford: And the whole idea of.

318
00:46:32.220 –> 00:46:39.540
Jason Mefford: You know even doing something even like doing a little bit of walking helps you to calm down to be more focused as well too right.

319
00:46:40.050 –> 00:46:51.870
Jason Mefford: And you know when it comes to some of the stuff here at the end you know when you start when you notice yourself thinking a certain way right to kind of stop and see how, how are you feeling in your body.

320
00:46:53.010 –> 00:46:55.530
Jason Mefford: And kind of shift your story around that.

321
00:46:55.950 –> 00:46:58.200
Jason Mefford: And I love the one about just your hand over your heart.

322
00:46:58.620 –> 00:47:18.960
Jason Mefford: right that again it’s a it’s a just taking that time for yourself whether it’s just for a few seconds literally 1530 seconds, or if it’s just sitting quietly for five minutes 10 minutes, whatever it is anything that we do right is a little.

323
00:47:20.280 –> 00:47:21.180
Jason Mefford: Little something.

324
00:47:21.720 –> 00:47:22.110
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah.

325
00:47:22.170 –> 00:47:24.030
Jason Mefford: For sure it just takes a little something.

326
00:47:24.480 –> 00:47:33.000
Jason Mefford: Right and and I guess don’t don’t fall into the trap that we talked about at the beginning of oh I don’t have time for that.

327
00:47:34.320 –> 00:47:37.320
Jason Mefford: Well, do you really can you afford not.

328
00:47:38.520 –> 00:47:39.660
Jason Mefford: To take the time.

329
00:47:40.230 –> 00:47:40.650
Jason Mefford: To do it.

330
00:47:41.190 –> 00:47:48.570
Ashrita Tiwari: Right yeah for sure for sure, and like you know stress and anxiety is such a big thing for people, especially now and.

331
00:47:48.990 –> 00:48:01.080
Ashrita Tiwari: That is also many studies are finding that like fat is what causes a lot of illness and health complications right so back to health and thinking about anxiety and stress like they’re kind of all interconnected so.

332
00:48:01.740 –> 00:48:13.230
Ashrita Tiwari: um so like Jason said it’s so important to just think about this as something that’s going to add to your life, rather than take away right people like to think that oh I don’t have time is going to take away from my time, but it’s like.

333
00:48:13.560 –> 00:48:27.750
Ashrita Tiwari: How can you change the perspective and think how can I, what can I gain from actually adding and you know 1530 minute walk and for myself to breathe and just really look within myself and seeing what, what are the thoughts that are coming up, what are the emotions that are coming up.

334
00:48:28.470 –> 00:48:34.920
Jason Mefford: yeah yeah because, again, most of these things that are holding us back the reason they’re holding you back is because it’s subconscious.

335
00:48:35.220 –> 00:48:35.550
Ashrita Tiwari: Right.

336
00:48:35.940 –> 00:48:37.260
Jason Mefford: Right slow down.

337
00:48:38.670 –> 00:48:51.270
Jason Mefford: Right slow your brain down slow yourself down and try to figure out what it is use some of these tools and techniques that is treated as talked about, because it does it makes makes all the difference.

338
00:48:51.570 –> 00:48:52.230
Absolutely.

339
00:48:53.550 –> 00:49:01.890
Jason Mefford: Because i’m sure we’ve got enough stress and everything else in life that any little thing that you can do to reduce that even by a little bit.

340
00:49:03.000 –> 00:49:05.640
Jason Mefford: How much better is your life, going to be as a result of that.

341
00:49:06.360 –> 00:49:07.530
Ashrita Tiwari: Right absolutely.

342
00:49:08.940 –> 00:49:15.390
Jason Mefford: So let’s create a thanks for coming on you know people want to reach out to you learn more about you work with you how’s the best way for people to get Ahold of you.

343
00:49:16.440 –> 00:49:35.550
Ashrita Tiwari: yeah, so I do have a website it’s treated to worry calm so it’s a ch ri ta ta w ri calm and if you just want to show me a message I have an instagram page, as well as ch ri ta underscore coach co a ch.

344
00:49:36.030 –> 00:49:36.840
sweet.

345
00:49:37.950 –> 00:49:41.700
Jason Mefford: Well, thank you, my friend for coming on I learn more about you, too, which is.

346
00:49:41.700 –> 00:49:43.830
Jason Mefford: Always one of the things that I love about.

347
00:49:44.310 –> 00:49:55.620
Jason Mefford: Doing this as well, and you got good stuff helping people, and I know you helped a lot of people that are listening to this today, too, so thank you, thank you, thank you.

348
00:49:56.040 –> 00:49:59.940
Ashrita Tiwari: Thank you Jason I loved it I loved learning about you as well, and you’re running.

349
00:50:00.030 –> 00:50:05.820
Jason Mefford: Which you’re going to do I know you’re going to hear you’ll see me posting some things about some of the five k’s because that was.

350
00:50:06.360 –> 00:50:09.210
Jason Mefford: That was, as I went back and thought about it before.

351
00:50:10.350 –> 00:50:21.990
Jason Mefford: That was one of the things that that was a way to kick myself in the butt to get it done is to actually just put it on the calendar pay the registration fee show you know get my ass there.

352
00:50:22.590 –> 00:50:24.690
Ashrita Tiwari: And for me.

353
00:50:25.080 –> 00:50:29.610
Jason Mefford: yeah it always worked for me and actually I used to run a lot of them with my son when he was little.

354
00:50:31.470 –> 00:50:33.000
Jason Mefford: as well, so yeah I just gotta.

355
00:50:34.530 –> 00:50:35.460
Jason Mefford: just get back good.

356
00:50:36.510 –> 00:50:39.540
Jason Mefford: All right, well, thank you again welcome.

Many people think it’s a waste of productive time to sit and meditate for a few minutes each day, or take the time to get a good night sleep. I understand. I used to feel the same way.

But what if what you think is actually not true? What if science actually proves that take a few minutes each day to choose to train your brain can actually make you more productive, less stressed, and more healthy.

Wouldn’t that be worth investing a few minutes each day? Of course it would… and the scientific studies back it up.

In this special #jammingwithjason #podcast episode I talk with Ariel Garten about just that. This episode is full of some practical tips from someone whose life mission is to help people understand how their brain and mind work – both the nuts and bolts and neurons, and how that plays out in the messy and beautiful human experience. She inspires people to understand you can accomplish anything you want by understanding what actually goes on in your own mind.

You can see why I was so excited and geeked out in this episode, and when you listen to this entire episode and share with your friends and family you can accomplish anything you want.

Ariel Garten is probably one of the most interesting people you will meet. She is a Neuroscientists, mom, former psychotherapist, former fashion designer, and the co-founder and visionary or an amazing and highly successful tech startup Muse.

Ariel is also the co-host of the Untangle Podcast.

Muse tracks your brain during meditation to give you real-time feedback on your meditations, guiding you into the “zone” and solve the problem most of us have when starting a meditation practice. Muse lets you know when you are doing it right, and it’s a product I personally use.

Learn more at: https://choosemuse.com/

Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/jammingwithjason234/

Transcript

1
00:00:02.310 –> 00:00:10.559
Jason Mefford: Alright, well, I have to tell you, I have been literally kicking out about this interview so it’s today I have Ariel garden with me.

2
00:00:11.099 –> 00:00:20.400
Jason Mefford: And she’s been described as probably one of the most interesting people that you will meet, and when we talk, you will see why because she’s not only a neuroscientist.

3
00:00:21.000 –> 00:00:28.170
Jason Mefford: she’s a mom a former psycho therapist former fashion designer so i’m a little interested about that one too.

4
00:00:28.710 –> 00:00:42.060
Jason Mefford: and, more importantly, maybe the Co founder and visionary of the amazing and highly successful tech startup muse which, if you haven’t heard about muse you’re going to hear about it today because it’s actually a product that I use.

5
00:00:43.170 –> 00:00:54.420
Jason Mefford: and help you with meditation and sleep and so with that let’s get in today’s going to be a little geeky maybe for some of you, but it’s also you know about the importance.

6
00:00:54.930 –> 00:01:09.810
Jason Mefford: Of meditation and sleep practice and why those things are actually so important and why we all need them so much, especially in the life that we’re living today so with that let’s roll the episode.

7
00:01:12.360 –> 00:01:13.320
Jason Mefford: Alright, Ariel.

8
00:01:14.970 –> 00:01:15.870
Ariel Garten: Hello.

9
00:01:15.930 –> 00:01:19.320
Ariel Garten: How are you today and magnificent how are you.

10
00:01:19.350 –> 00:01:26.310
Jason Mefford: it’s you know, every day we should be magnificent right we get to choose every day what we’re going to be so why not be magnificent.

11
00:01:27.240 –> 00:01:38.100
Ariel Garten: yeah and actually I was pretty grumpy this morning I woke up just kind of am pregnant so like you know you don’t always get to choose how you feel when you wake up when you’re pregnant.

12
00:01:39.510 –> 00:01:47.280
Ariel Garten: And I was pretty grumpy my husband got grumpy at me about something sorry, let me just kill this.

13
00:01:49.290 –> 00:02:03.810
Ariel Garten: start setting I was pretty grumpy my husband got crappy at me about something in consequential in the kitchen and, as I was walking my kid to school I realized, I have the choice to remain grumpy which actually felt kind of good at that moment I.

14
00:02:03.810 –> 00:02:09.300
Ariel Garten: actually had there was a there was a solace to being in that grumpiness and the sort of like cold winter day.

15
00:02:10.110 –> 00:02:13.800
Ariel Garten: Or, I could just choose to feel differently, because, why would I hold on to that grumpiness.

16
00:02:14.550 –> 00:02:26.250
Ariel Garten: And I took a few deep breaths I let the feeling of the day rush through me I let the grumpiness pass out because, like Why would I hold on to that, even though I thought I may be needed to or thought it felt good and if.

17
00:02:27.270 –> 00:02:28.620
Ariel Garten: I feel magnificent.

18
00:02:29.130 –> 00:02:39.150
Jason Mefford: I know well in here, here we are we’re we’re only like a minute into this too right and we’ve already got a big takeaway for people because it’s funny I woke up this one, I mean usually.

19
00:02:40.380 –> 00:02:44.370
Jason Mefford: You know i’m not i’m not pregnant, I still don’t get to choose.

20
00:02:44.370 –> 00:02:46.440
Jason Mefford: Li wake up shocker right.

21
00:02:46.860 –> 00:02:54.420
Jason Mefford: But yeah I mean today I woke up pounding headache feeling nauseous you know same kind of thing, where, again, but we get to choose.

22
00:02:54.960 –> 00:03:01.530
Jason Mefford: How we want to feel right which is, which is an amazing thing that you just brought out there, you could choose to continue to feel grumpy.

23
00:03:02.070 –> 00:03:13.290
Jason Mefford: I could choose to continue to feel crummy but I choose to be magnificent and feel great, and that makes all the difference, I feel totally different now and you feel totally different now.

24
00:03:13.500 –> 00:03:14.370
Jason Mefford: as well, so.

25
00:03:14.820 –> 00:03:23.730
Ariel Garten: And it’s not always easy to make that choice you know you can’t tell somebody who’s feeling crappy to just snap out of it that truly doesn’t work and only makes people grumpier.

26
00:03:24.150 –> 00:03:34.590
Ariel Garten: But there are tools and techniques that you can learn that allow you to shift your own state that allow you to recognize where you’re at the light and give yourself what you need in that moment.

27
00:03:35.010 –> 00:03:48.210
Ariel Garten: And then allow yourself to make another choice to look at the range of possibility and say I could stay here for I could do something to move myself elsewhere and it’s a skill that i’ve been honing and now teaching.

28
00:03:49.110 –> 00:04:04.230
Jason Mefford: Well, and that’s one of the reasons why I wanted to talk to you as well, because it’s, you know as you talked about there’s these I kind of call them tools of the trade and what’s funny is you know I I grew up as a my dad was a contractor so i’m very familiar with power tools.

29
00:04:04.290 –> 00:04:11.610
Jason Mefford: Right and using tools to get stuff done, but now the tools that most of us need are more mental.

30
00:04:12.630 –> 00:04:17.340
Jason Mefford: I haven’t come up with a good word for it but mental mental in nature right.

31
00:04:18.420 –> 00:04:27.810
Jason Mefford: But there’s there also are some physical tools that can help us with those mental things which Muses one of those tools that I use right.

32
00:04:28.380 –> 00:04:36.330
Jason Mefford: And and i’m just curious to start off with because, again, I mean you’ve got a varied background and and i’m always curious to learn.

33
00:04:37.080 –> 00:04:58.110
Jason Mefford: Because I i’m an entrepreneur, and a lot of entrepreneurs as well, and how this this creation ends up coming of you know so take us take us through just quickly kind of you’ve done a lot of things, how did you get to this point and high of what you’re what you’re doing today.

34
00:04:58.800 –> 00:05:03.450
Ariel Garten: Sure, so I was always fascinated with the brain and how it works.

35
00:05:04.140 –> 00:05:13.050
Ariel Garten: At the same point, you know you’ve seaside a lot of things my background I come from a mom who’s an artist a dad who’s an entrepreneur, and so I grew up really.

36
00:05:13.560 –> 00:05:25.140
Ariel Garten: kind of with the sense that anything was possible, you know my mom would make these big large scale oil and canvas images and from nothing, she would make this beautiful colorful world from this blank canvas.

37
00:05:25.680 –> 00:05:37.170
Ariel Garten: And so, and my dad is an entrepreneur, I learned that you know you can actually make your own path, and you can do something, you find valuable rather than just you know working for tied or pretend.

38
00:05:37.290 –> 00:05:42.390
Ariel Garten: Like you know, rather than you know, giving all of your hours over to something corporate that you may not believe in.

39
00:05:43.350 –> 00:05:51.150
Ariel Garten: And so I was always making things I was always creating and I was always kind of exploring the world.

40
00:05:51.630 –> 00:06:06.210
Ariel Garten: And I had a very quiet inner critic so that voice inside your head that says you shouldn’t be doing this, you know you’re not going to be good at it somehow I got super lucky, and she was pretty quiet she’s she’s gets louder and quieter at times and, again, there are techniques to really.

41
00:06:06.240 –> 00:06:09.090
Ariel Garten: deal with your inner critic and keep him or her at bay.

42
00:06:10.410 –> 00:06:11.490
Ariel Garten: and

43
00:06:13.080 –> 00:06:21.780
Ariel Garten: sort of fast forward to the museum the meditation part I began working the research lab with Dr Steve man, he is one of the inventors of the wearable computer.

44
00:06:22.260 –> 00:06:31.050
Ariel Garten: And he had an early brain computer interface system, so this was a single EG electrodes that you would put next to your head the back of your head.

45
00:06:31.410 –> 00:06:40.320
Ariel Garten: And as you would focus or relax it would shift your brainwaves and we could take that change in brainwave activity associated with focus your relaxation.

46
00:06:40.890 –> 00:06:49.020
Ariel Garten: And then make that signal audible so as you focused the sound could get louder as you’re relaxed the sound could get quieter.

47
00:06:49.800 –> 00:06:56.730
Ariel Garten: And I stood back and said oh my God, this is like unbelievable The world needs to know about this, how can we possibly.

48
00:06:57.240 –> 00:07:04.920
Ariel Garten: bring it to the world in a way that’s going to be meaningful and useful, so I got together with my two good friends, Chris amy who is just like.

49
00:07:05.280 –> 00:07:18.690
Ariel Garten: The most amazing spiritual scientific artistic engineer you’ll ever meet he was chris’s master student and was making wearable technology with Steve sorry he was steve’s master student and had been making wearable technologies with him.

50
00:07:19.200 –> 00:07:29.610
Ariel Garten: And my friend Trevor Coleman who is really great at business and just understanding what made things sticky and great he was actually a party planning guy and he could make the best parties you’d ever imagined.

51
00:07:29.610 –> 00:07:29.970
Jason Mefford: Because he.

52
00:07:30.030 –> 00:07:33.150
Ariel Garten: understood the ingredients to the human experience.

53
00:07:34.890 –> 00:07:43.380
Ariel Garten: And also had a head for business, and so the three of us set about to take this technology and bring it to the world and we were like what is the best way that we can make use of this.

54
00:07:43.710 –> 00:07:52.650
Ariel Garten: We have this thing that gives you feedback that lets you know when you’re focused lets you know when you’re relaxed it’s able to give you insight into your mental state what can we do with it.

55
00:07:53.220 –> 00:07:57.840
Ariel Garten: And we recognize that probably the best use of this technology was to help people meditate.

56
00:07:58.740 –> 00:08:07.350
Ariel Garten: Because meditation this is now 2012 2010 2009 like pretty early on, it was before the meditation curve has was growing.

57
00:08:07.740 –> 00:08:12.870
Ariel Garten: But I was a psychotherapist at the time, and I would teach my patients to meditate and.

58
00:08:13.170 –> 00:08:22.800
Ariel Garten: They would come back and it would be really unclear if they were actually able to do it, and I would try to meditate and frankly I would suck at it, because my brain would bounce all over the place.

59
00:08:23.310 –> 00:08:26.790
Ariel Garten: But with my background I knew the power of it.

60
00:08:27.210 –> 00:08:39.660
Ariel Garten: I knew the thousands, at that point hundreds now thousands of research articles that have demonstrated the power of meditation to change your brain to improve your attention to decrease your stress to improve your productivity relationship God scores and on and on and on.

61
00:08:40.710 –> 00:08:48.390
Ariel Garten: And so we recognize that, if we could build something that could get more people meditating we’d actually be doing something good for the world and that’s how muse was born.

62
00:08:49.470 –> 00:08:49.710
Jason Mefford: well.

63
00:08:50.790 –> 00:09:01.560
Jason Mefford: it’s funny because you know as i’ve as i’ve been going down my past, you know practicing in bringing more mindful activities men meditation being one.

64
00:09:02.820 –> 00:09:09.120
Jason Mefford: You know, and in understanding kind of the neurobiology behind it right of really.

65
00:09:10.230 –> 00:09:20.220
Jason Mefford: It seems like when you’re meditating you’re you’re you’re you’re really slowing down your brainwaves right from beta theta alpha you know kind of a phase.

66
00:09:21.060 –> 00:09:28.080
Jason Mefford: And it’s something that we don’t really have feedback on is we’re just sitting here right, you know you’re sitting here, trying to be quiet and it’s like.

67
00:09:28.890 –> 00:09:41.340
Jason Mefford: Am I really doing it or not right, and so I I kind of felt the same way that you did of am I doing it right, you know, and I know a lot of people say there’s no wrong way to do it just do it.

68
00:09:42.270 –> 00:09:51.270
Jason Mefford: right but there there’s there’s that part of me that was thinking well but am I doing it right and that’s when somebody actually you know mentioned muse and said hold it.

69
00:09:51.720 –> 00:10:00.780
Jason Mefford: there’s this thing that you can actually try, you know if you want to, if you want to find out get this tool, because it actually measures your brain right.

70
00:10:01.440 –> 00:10:17.910
Jason Mefford: And I think what what’s interesting because you know not only the bring the the technology to it to give people feedback, but in talking about the founders that you have you’ve you’ve made it a way of gamification as well, to make it fun for people right.

71
00:10:19.230 –> 00:10:26.730
Ariel Garten: that’s the whole idea to create something that is sticky and engaging because there are multiple problems in meditation So the first problem is like.

72
00:10:27.120 –> 00:10:38.040
Ariel Garten: What am I even doing you sit there to try to meditate your brain is bouncing all over the place and you’re like what am I supposed to do and there’s no little coach or guru inside of your head.

73
00:10:38.340 –> 00:10:43.380
Ariel Garten: letting you know when you’re in focused attention when your mind is wandering and really showing you what to do.

74
00:10:43.920 –> 00:10:49.890
Ariel Garten: So Muses able to give you real time feedback to let you know when you’re focused when you’re in the meditation zone.

75
00:10:50.070 –> 00:10:57.720
Ariel Garten: And when your mind is wandering Qu to your wandering thoughts which is in the queue for you to bring your attention back to your breath into your focused attention.

76
00:10:58.200 –> 00:11:03.120
Ariel Garten: And we really are able to reinforce you so first of all, shows you what to do, second shows if you’re doing it right.

77
00:11:03.390 –> 00:11:13.230
Ariel Garten: And then, it makes it sticky so we have a behavioral architecture that encourages you to come back and keep meditating because you’re able to see your progress.

78
00:11:13.680 –> 00:11:23.520
Ariel Garten: And over time it moves from the extrinsic reward of a motivational architecture to the intrinsic reward of like hey now that i’ve meditated for three weeks I feel much better, you know.

79
00:11:23.580 –> 00:11:25.140
Ariel Garten: Now that it’s five weeks in.

80
00:11:25.620 –> 00:11:33.930
Ariel Garten: I don’t feel as good on days when I don’t meditate I want to do this every day and it’s no longer about the tool it’s about you and your practice and the value it brings to your life.

81
00:11:34.860 –> 00:11:44.610
Jason Mefford: yeah so for people that aren’t familiar with it because I use I I know there’s a lot of different settings and different things, you can listen to I typically just do the.

82
00:11:45.150 –> 00:11:49.800
Jason Mefford: I like the rain forest the little you know sound sound of the water and so.

83
00:11:50.280 –> 00:11:56.400
Jason Mefford: So for somebody that hasn’t used it if you’re curious about it, this is kind of what my experience has been right is it’s like you said there’s.

84
00:11:56.790 –> 00:12:09.540
Jason Mefford: there’s audible you put in your your headphones you listen and as your brainwaves are are higher your your attention is going everywhere, the the sound of the rain is a little bit louder.

85
00:12:10.170 –> 00:12:18.660
Jason Mefford: And as you quiet down things get quiet or right the rain gets a little quieter so you’re getting that immediate feedback on.

86
00:12:19.170 –> 00:12:27.240
Jason Mefford: Where is my brain going right and it’s like oh gee I forgot to put in the laundry I forgot to do this or oh nope nevermind come back let’s just count let’s think right.

87
00:12:27.660 –> 00:12:40.410
Jason Mefford: And you can you can literally hear that i’m i’m getting quieter and then what I loved about it too is kind of from that extrinsic gamification the little birds right is.

88
00:12:40.800 –> 00:12:49.380
Jason Mefford: Is if you’ve been in a quiet state for long enough you’ll you’ll hear a faint little chirp of a bird right and you collect birds.

89
00:12:49.980 –> 00:12:59.220
Jason Mefford: Right, so I used to joke with my wife that you know i’d come in and I didn’t do my little meditation at night and she’s like Oh, you were counting your birds again huh.

90
00:13:00.570 –> 00:13:02.250
Jason Mefford: yeah i’m bagging birds i’m going on.

91
00:13:02.280 –> 00:13:03.390
Jason Mefford: me for birds right.

92
00:13:03.960 –> 00:13:23.040
Jason Mefford: But but it’s it’s it’s a nice way like you said, for those of us, especially that are kind of analytical to see because we’re always worried, am I doing it right, am I doing it right and now there’s a way to actually know if you’re kind of doing it right.

93
00:13:24.390 –> 00:13:27.450
Ariel Garten: yeah and you know doing it right, you can get into a little bit of.

94
00:13:28.890 –> 00:13:43.200
Ariel Garten: danger there but there actually is a right and wrong way to practice different forms of meditation and there are many, many different forms, so here we’re specifically teaching you in the meditation you’ve described the mind meditation focused attention meditation.

95
00:13:43.440 –> 00:13:47.910
Ariel Garten: and focused attention meditation how you do it is you put your attention on your breath.

96
00:13:48.300 –> 00:13:59.310
Ariel Garten: When your mind wanders away from your breath you notice that your mind is wandered you let go the wandering thought and then you non judgmental you return your attention back to your breath that’s how you do that particular practice.

97
00:13:59.880 –> 00:14:09.660
Ariel Garten: news has a range of other practices that it teaches you to their breathing practices there’s a heart meditation where you can listen to the beating of your heart, like the beating the drum so there’s a.

98
00:14:11.160 –> 00:14:20.400
Ariel Garten: PP G sensor that translate your translates your heart rate activities, you can listen literally listened to it, rising and falling and tune your ability to understand or internal state.

99
00:14:21.210 –> 00:14:32.400
Ariel Garten: Your stillness meditations and then there’s over 500 different guided meditations and different forms, some of them are mindfulness meditation Zen meditation yoga need draw and more and more and more.

100
00:14:33.180 –> 00:14:41.070
Ariel Garten: Many of them also focused on what you need in your life at that moment, so you know i’m feeling grumpy we literally have a meditation called banish the cranky.

101
00:14:41.460 –> 00:14:48.180
Ariel Garten: you’re frustrated standing in line because it’s coded and you can’t get into a store, we have a two minute meditation for funding calm, while standing in line.

102
00:14:48.420 –> 00:14:53.820
Ariel Garten: Thank you here in college and need to do on an exam we have meditations for that literally across the board.

103
00:14:54.870 –> 00:14:58.590
Jason Mefford: Well it’s interesting because yeah there’s there’s so much of a of a breath there and i’ve got.

104
00:14:59.310 –> 00:15:06.690
Jason Mefford: i’ve got a lot more of those different things to try, but let’s let’s talk, maybe a little bit about you know the the hi.

105
00:15:07.230 –> 00:15:21.150
Jason Mefford: This is so important for people right because, again, you know as as an entrepreneur, you could have just chosen, something that just you know, make a gazillion dollars right and a lot of entrepreneurs do that they’re just chasing the money.

106
00:15:21.930 –> 00:15:35.340
Jason Mefford: But you chose to go for something that you felt would also you know, improve the life of humans on this planet, so you know, maybe let’s talk a little bit about that you know.

107
00:15:35.970 –> 00:15:50.340
Jason Mefford: What is it that this is is doing, because, like you said you’re not just selling a gadget you’re you’re selling a way of helping people’s lives, be better, so how can it be better and why, why do we need that.

108
00:15:51.090 –> 00:16:00.510
Ariel Garten: Sure, and I have to say it was critically important to me that if I was going to put my time and energy on something and employ people and spend their time and energy.

109
00:16:00.810 –> 00:16:09.150
Ariel Garten: That this had to be doing something good for the world and I always say if it’s not doing good for the world let’s just stop what we’re doing right now and throw it all in the garbage like.

110
00:16:09.510 –> 00:16:15.300
Ariel Garten: You know, there are lots of ways to make money and make a salary let’s align ourselves with something that’s actually meaningful.

111
00:16:15.990 –> 00:16:23.460
Ariel Garten: it’s that’s that’s the 100% driving purpose and we’ve been lucky enough that it actually seems to be that it seems to really be making.

112
00:16:23.850 –> 00:16:29.940
Ariel Garten: significant positive impact in people’s lives there’s hundreds of thousands of people that now use muse regularly.

113
00:16:30.300 –> 00:16:40.800
Ariel Garten: As well as lots like thousands of clinicians doctors Mayo clinic ran a study with news with breast cancer patients demonstrating that it improves the outcomes in the cancer care process.

114
00:16:41.850 –> 00:16:50.670
Ariel Garten: they’re doing other studies and fibromyalgia we have systems for pain so we’ve we’ve really, really, really been fortunate to be able to actually make an improvement in people’s lives.

115
00:16:51.300 –> 00:16:56.580
Ariel Garten: getting more specifically into meditation and why it works that’s super cool.

116
00:16:57.210 –> 00:17:04.440
Ariel Garten: So meditation seems to be this thing where you’re like, how can this one thing do so many things, how can it have so much benefit.

117
00:17:05.040 –> 00:17:12.780
Ariel Garten: You know, it seems like snake was but it’s actually not so when you’re doing a focused attention meditation your mind is wandering off into a thought.

118
00:17:13.260 –> 00:17:22.980
Ariel Garten: You then notice that your mind has wandered choose to let that thought go and choose to bring your attention back to your breath, it is on believably simple at its core.

119
00:17:24.000 –> 00:17:28.170
Ariel Garten: Yet this very simple activity can lead to some really profound transformation.

120
00:17:28.710 –> 00:17:38.040
Ariel Garten: So, most of us just go through our lives on autopilot we go through our lives with a whole bunch of thoughts in our head and we assume that, because our thoughts in our head we’re supposed to be thinking them.

121
00:17:38.400 –> 00:17:44.490
Ariel Garten: And now we’re thinking about the garbage and taking it out when we’re actually supposed to be there with our wife on a date, and you know.

122
00:17:44.820 –> 00:17:50.940
Ariel Garten: And we’re thinking about the stressful time at work that we have and repeating that information in our brain over and over and over again.

123
00:17:51.210 –> 00:18:03.510
Ariel Garten: Because our brains are literally wired to look for the dangerous and stressful things and repeat them to us so that we can be safe from them, and you know way back in the day when we lived in.

124
00:18:04.830 –> 00:18:11.400
Ariel Garten: Dangerous environments and we didn’t have safe homes, yes, we needed to be very highly attuned to danger.

125
00:18:11.760 –> 00:18:17.790
Ariel Garten: However, those primitive systems aka the amygdala the part of your brain that was scanning for danger.

126
00:18:18.210 –> 00:18:26.940
Ariel Garten: is still tuned to always scan for danger, but now it responds when you get an email from your boss that says, can I talk to you, your amygdala immediately goes into danger zone.

127
00:18:27.300 –> 00:18:33.030
Ariel Garten: When you’re going into an interview with staying in your pants or make delicious can’t stop thinking about that stain in your pants.

128
00:18:33.330 –> 00:18:42.300
Ariel Garten: When you’re stuck in traffic and there’s nothing you can do about it, your amygdala can’t stop telling you about that traffic, because it needs you to be aware of that danger over and over and over and over and over again.

129
00:18:43.110 –> 00:18:47.160
Ariel Garten: So with meditation what we’re able to do is to actually retrain our brains.

130
00:18:47.670 –> 00:18:55.170
Ariel Garten: To be able to say, like yes brain you served me that piece of information, but you know what that’s not actually important right now, and I can let that go.

131
00:18:55.860 –> 00:19:03.960
Ariel Garten: And I can bring my attention back to something that is important to me whether it’s the person i’m having a conversation with the work i’m trying to do.

132
00:19:04.380 –> 00:19:11.160
Ariel Garten: The positive thoughts I choose to have instead you know, whatever it is that actually is relevant to you at that moment, rather than just.

133
00:19:11.460 –> 00:19:15.720
Ariel Garten: The random stuff that your brain is choosing to serve up because it thinks that that’s what’s best.

134
00:19:16.380 –> 00:19:26.520
Ariel Garten: So, in your meditation practice you’re actually changing your brain, you are thickening you’re in strengthening your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain that’s able to make.

135
00:19:26.850 –> 00:19:36.030
Ariel Garten: These kinds of wise decisions about what’s really important to you and you’re down regulating your amygdala the part of your brain the primitive part that’s always scanning for danger.

136
00:19:36.600 –> 00:19:44.700
Ariel Garten: And when you start to shift that relationship when you’re actually able to gain control over the contents of your own mind you’re able to.

137
00:19:45.420 –> 00:19:54.210
Ariel Garten: First of all, make much better decisions in your life, be much more present for the people who are there and reduce your psychological and physiological stress.

138
00:19:54.690 –> 00:20:00.630
Ariel Garten: Because stress doesn’t necessarily start in the body, it starts in the brain with a thought which then triggers your body.

139
00:20:00.930 –> 00:20:08.460
Ariel Garten: To have a physiological reaction of you know your heart increasing its heart be your blood vessels tightening up the tension in your body.

140
00:20:08.700 –> 00:20:15.000
Ariel Garten: which then triggers your mind to have more thoughts about the thing that has created the sensation in your body which then feeds forward.

141
00:20:15.390 –> 00:20:25.890
Ariel Garten: So when you’re able to break that cycle at the level of thought take deep breaths to calm the body you’ve created a situation where you’re not only psychologically healthier but also physiologically healthier.

142
00:20:27.450 –> 00:20:36.630
Jason Mefford: yeah, which is something that you know, again, I mean almost everybody I talked to feels stressed out, and so, as you just described well it’s.

143
00:20:37.080 –> 00:20:45.750
Jason Mefford: no surprise that you’re stressed out if your amygdala has been going crazy anya all day right and if you’re having.

144
00:20:46.170 –> 00:20:56.730
Jason Mefford: All of these stressful thoughts and I think it’s like three to one ratio, if I remember right kind of from you know negative it’s picking up on negative thoughts versus positive because.

145
00:20:57.120 –> 00:21:07.560
Jason Mefford: it’s still that old you know multi million year old brain that’s trying to say hey there’s a lion or tiger or a bear oh my that’s coming after you.

146
00:21:08.100 –> 00:21:14.580
Jason Mefford: But it’s not really it’s my boss sent me an email it’s not like there’s a lion trying to eat you right in front of your face.

147
00:21:15.330 –> 00:21:37.890
Jason Mefford: But our brain doesn’t know any different unless we train it and I think I think that’s the beautiful thing and like you said that we can actually choose right we started off talking about choice we can choose to think differently, which also translates into us feeling better as well.

148
00:21:39.090 –> 00:21:50.880
Ariel Garten: Yes, and feeling better in the long term, so you know as you do this activity, a little bit day by day, as you get better at identifying your thoughts and this is part of the.

149
00:21:51.990 –> 00:21:57.270
Ariel Garten: This is part of the depth of meditation as well as you sit with those thoughts and you’re not just visiting around your life.

150
00:21:57.510 –> 00:22:07.170
Ariel Garten: You have the ability to actually hear what they’re saying to actually say like hey Is that true he is that meaningful you actually get to know the contents of your own mind.

151
00:22:07.620 –> 00:22:25.410
Ariel Garten: Then from there you get to make a better choice about it and bit by bit, day by day practice by practice you get better and better being able to gain control over your own life psychologically mentally physiologically and relationship was.

152
00:22:27.060 –> 00:22:36.540
Jason Mefford: Well, and so one of the things I hear from so many people, though, too, and I even find myself thinking this sometimes right is I don’t have time to do that.

153
00:22:37.230 –> 00:22:43.380
Jason Mefford: In and I think part of the reason behind that right is there’s you know, especially in the Western world.

154
00:22:43.890 –> 00:23:02.820
Jason Mefford: there’s a lot of emphasis placed on productivity and you’ve got to be productive and you’ve got to be doing something all of the time right and so for many of us that have been indoctrinated that way it’s hard to just stop and do something that seems like i’m doing nothing.

155
00:23:02.850 –> 00:23:10.710
Jason Mefford: Right how how am I, being productive when i’m not doing anything and i’m just sitting there right.

156
00:23:11.700 –> 00:23:17.250
Jason Mefford: So, so how to you know for people that are saying look I don’t have time for it.

157
00:23:17.790 –> 00:23:32.700
Jason Mefford: it’s just a waste of time i’m not doing anything, how do you usually respond to them because, again, I hear that all the time i’ve got my own opinion, but I want to know kind of what your your take on that is because i’m sure you hear that all the time, too.

158
00:23:33.240 –> 00:23:40.680
Ariel Garten: yep so The good news is meditation gives you back time there are lots of studies that demonstrate that meditation actually improves your productivity.

159
00:23:41.280 –> 00:23:53.010
Ariel Garten: So part of what you’re noticing every time your mind wanders those are micro distractions and those are procrastination so if you’re sitting there doing your work and your mind wanders off to Facebook, the coffee before you know it you’re at the coffee pot.

160
00:23:53.340 –> 00:23:59.520
Ariel Garten: You have just wasted so much time in a meditation practice, you would notice the nearby and wonder to Facebook, or the coffee pot.

161
00:24:00.060 –> 00:24:06.450
Ariel Garten: You would then say thanks for that information not relevant to me at this moment, let that go get back to the task at hand.

162
00:24:06.840 –> 00:24:13.500
Ariel Garten: meditation dramatically gives you more time in your day and more freedom to make better choices.

163
00:24:14.190 –> 00:24:24.900
Ariel Garten: And meditation doesn’t need to take long so in the breast cancer study at the Mayo clinic they gave the women, the task of meditating for three minutes per day with muse.

164
00:24:25.650 –> 00:24:28.110
Ariel Garten: Literally they just said, going use this for three minutes per day.

165
00:24:28.680 –> 00:24:35.370
Ariel Garten: And many of the Women continue to use it for longer or for longer periods, most people use it beyond the end of the study period because they love doing it.

166
00:24:35.910 –> 00:24:45.360
Ariel Garten: But really all you need to do is start for a very short period of time now for some people, when you sit down for those three or five or seven minutes.

167
00:24:45.750 –> 00:24:53.340
Ariel Garten: you’re like oh my God this feels like torture, because my body so used to doing things I just want to get up and run away and that’s cool.

168
00:24:53.970 –> 00:25:03.900
Ariel Garten: What your job is at that moment is to just sit with the sensation and re pattern your brain, because our brains and bodies are often.

169
00:25:04.260 –> 00:25:11.280
Ariel Garten: wired for automatic city you think about a cookie you see the cookie jar and just like your hand is out there, and you didn’t even realize what you did.

170
00:25:11.640 –> 00:25:23.250
Ariel Garten: And that’s actually because dopa mean that reward system governs both the reward of the cookie and also dopa mean governs your movement system so as you’re having that reward of the cookie or bodies preparing itself.

171
00:25:23.670 –> 00:25:40.320
Ariel Garten: You know, from a neurotransmitter perspective to move your body towards it and it’s just an automatic loop when you’re able to intervene and say hey I feel this insane urge to get up now, I feel as insane urge to like go move towards the cookie or to just fix it or to just run away.

172
00:25:41.490 –> 00:25:47.550
Ariel Garten: When you sit there in that moment with that feeling and say actually I might feel that way but i’m not about to.

173
00:25:47.820 –> 00:25:58.020
Ariel Garten: You begin to re pattern your body you’re literally rewiring your brain and we rewiring those automatic circuits to bring it into your own control.

174
00:25:58.650 –> 00:26:04.860
Ariel Garten: And so those have a sensation of add or fidget enos you know at first it’s the weirdest thing in the world to just sit still.

175
00:26:05.340 –> 00:26:18.240
Ariel Garten: But once you do it and you train your body to say hey we don’t need to run from this hey we don’t need to just play out this mindless automatic behavior in this, you know pattern that’s built that actually isn’t helpful or useful for you.

176
00:26:18.780 –> 00:26:26.640
Ariel Garten: You make tremendous change in your life because you’re able to gain this top down control over your own automatic behavior yeah.

177
00:26:27.420 –> 00:26:36.870
Jason Mefford: Well, and it’s you know it’s not a waste of time right for all those reasons that you just talked about is even spending the three minutes a day.

178
00:26:37.380 –> 00:26:47.370
Jason Mefford: You know, and again for people that are listening our brain is just like a computer right, and so, if you if you want different results you got to reprogram your brain to run a different Program.

179
00:26:47.820 –> 00:26:52.770
Jason Mefford: meditation is one of those ways to do it because, like you said, every time that you start to wander and you’re like nope.

180
00:26:53.280 –> 00:27:02.670
Jason Mefford: Thank you for for that thought, but right now, I have to focus on this right, and the more that we do that, the more that we practice it.

181
00:27:03.000 –> 00:27:15.240
Jason Mefford: it’s just like doing push ups or you know barbell curls or anything with our muscles we’re actually you know retraining ourselves and, like you said that leads to higher productivity.

182
00:27:15.960 –> 00:27:32.040
Jason Mefford: To feeling better you know, like the Mayo clinic using it with the breast cancer people i’m sure it helps them to heal a little bit more as well, or at least reduce their anxiety about what they happen to be going through at that time right.

183
00:27:32.940 –> 00:27:40.980
Ariel Garten: yeah I mean it reduced their according to study it reduce their stress it also reduces their fatigue and improve their quality of life during the cancer care process.

184
00:27:41.400 –> 00:27:56.670
Ariel Garten: And meditation has also been demonstrated separately from that study to actually help your body heal when you reduce the cortisol levels in your body when you change your cellular amelia by no longer dousing it and stress hormones you’re actually able to heal faster.

185
00:27:57.120 –> 00:27:57.360
yeah.

186
00:27:58.590 –> 00:28:11.220
Jason Mefford: yeah so there’s there’s a lot of benefits, even in something as little as 123 minutes a day you know it’s not it’s not sitting down for four hours you know, like you see a Buddhist monk sitting.

187
00:28:12.180 –> 00:28:20.280
Jason Mefford: there on a on a hard stone or something for four hours, this is something that literally anybody can do and just a couple minutes a day it sounds like.

188
00:28:21.120 –> 00:28:27.960
Ariel Garten: yeah and, obviously, the more you do it, the more benefit you’ll get, but when we say more we’re talking at the order of 10 or 15 minutes a day.

189
00:28:28.260 –> 00:28:35.460
Ariel Garten: we’re not talking on the order of four hours we all live busy lives with kids and dinner to make and work and all these obligations.

190
00:28:35.820 –> 00:28:48.210
Ariel Garten: So you know part of creating muse was creating a tool that allows meditation to fit into your modern daily busy life in short ways that are rewarding and allow you to actually see and track your progress.

191
00:28:50.400 –> 00:28:53.100
Jason Mefford: which has been great and like I said i’ve got i’ve got a lot more a.

192
00:28:54.840 –> 00:29:00.270
Jason Mefford: lot more research to be doing on some of those other areas to Part one the other stuff but.

193
00:29:00.780 –> 00:29:08.040
Jason Mefford: But I wanted to talk to you because I know that that you guys have been doing some stuff about sleep, which you know I know for me.

194
00:29:08.850 –> 00:29:19.740
Jason Mefford: i’ve trained myself so literally I hit the pillow i’m out in one or two minutes, so I don’t have a problem, going to sleep once I go to sleep, I am gone.

195
00:29:20.310 –> 00:29:28.500
Jason Mefford: Until I wake up, but I know sleep is a big issue for a lot of people my wife, being one right, you know.

196
00:29:29.130 –> 00:29:43.980
Jason Mefford: She always gives me a hard time about it, but you know she she struggles with sleep I know a lot of people struggle with sleep, and you know if you start your day off tired and exhausted, because you didn’t get a good night’s sleep.

197
00:29:45.540 –> 00:29:59.070
Jason Mefford: It makes the next day hard as well right so so let’s talk a little bit about sleep, you know that way, why sleep is is so important and kind of how you are actually helping people with that as well.

198
00:29:59.460 –> 00:30:09.870
Ariel Garten: Sure, so sleep is incredibly key and so you have the group of people who feel like oh no I have insomnia, I don’t sleep enough, and then you have a group of people who say.

199
00:30:10.290 –> 00:30:15.870
Ariel Garten: Oh, I only sleep three or four hours a night or four or five hours a night and it’s totally fine I can totally function on that.

200
00:30:16.290 –> 00:30:26.070
Ariel Garten: The reality is both of those groups could benefit significantly from more sleep so sleep plays an important role both in our mind and in our body.

201
00:30:26.580 –> 00:30:34.680
Ariel Garten: While you sleep you’re consolidating your memories both including forgetting things that you need to forget, as well as remembering things you need to remember.

202
00:30:35.220 –> 00:30:45.000
Ariel Garten: you’re cleaning out your brain so there’s this little system in your brain called the limbic system, just like we have lymph nodes in our body we have lymph nodes in our brain and that allows.

203
00:30:45.480 –> 00:30:53.310
Ariel Garten: gaps to open and extracellular fluid to move about your brain that actually flushes out the toxins and accumulation of the day.

204
00:30:53.580 –> 00:31:03.270
Ariel Garten: So there’s research demonstrates that people who sleep better are better able to flesh out beta amyloid from their brain and therefore likely reduce the risk of alzheimer’s disease.

205
00:31:04.260 –> 00:31:13.830
Ariel Garten: So sleep is really important, when you don’t sleep well enough you decrease your hormone balance in your body you typically screw with your satiety signals so.

206
00:31:14.310 –> 00:31:19.440
Ariel Garten: Your body doesn’t know as well when it’s supposed to be hungry you’re not hungry that often leads to weight gain.

207
00:31:20.430 –> 00:31:30.000
Ariel Garten: And really poor sleep is associated with just about every chronic illness, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, etc, etc.

208
00:31:30.480 –> 00:31:42.510
Ariel Garten: So really sleep is critically important for your mind and body and most people don’t realize that getting good sleep doesn’t need to be that hard and so i’d love to talk about ways to help you sleep.

209
00:31:43.470 –> 00:31:50.580
Jason Mefford: I, but I would too, because I, you know I i’ve got my own little routine what works for me, but what what are some things.

210
00:31:52.050 –> 00:32:03.240
Jason Mefford: That really can help people some some easy takeaways that they can even just to tonight write it as as a way as a way to practice and try to get that better night’s sleep.

211
00:32:04.020 –> 00:32:13.800
Ariel Garten: Sure, so there’s two different parts to improving sleep one is the mental part, and the other is the stuff that you are doing to keep you from sleeping.

212
00:32:14.220 –> 00:32:24.360
Ariel Garten: So let’s deal first with the physical, because in some ways that’s easier, so in the physical side you want to make sure that you are not drinking coffee too close to bedtime.

213
00:32:24.810 –> 00:32:34.980
Ariel Garten: So caffeine has a half life of six to eight hours, which means that if you drink a cup of coffee at 4pm at 10pm half of that caffeine, is still in your body.

214
00:32:35.520 –> 00:32:44.130
Ariel Garten: And so you want to make sure that you’ve given yourself time to flesh out and process that caffeine, which typically for people means no caffeine afternoon.

215
00:32:44.550 –> 00:32:50.400
Ariel Garten: which all of you are going like what no caffeine afternoon, yes caffeine makes a tremendous difference in your sleep.

216
00:32:50.760 –> 00:32:58.800
Ariel Garten: What caffeine does is it reduces something culture sleep pressure there’s a little molecule that builds up in your brand called adenosine when it’s at a sufficient amount, then.

217
00:32:59.280 –> 00:33:06.150
Ariel Garten: Your sleep pressures so high that you just need to sleep your body just shuts down and your brain does do caffeine blocks that’s the pressure.

218
00:33:06.810 –> 00:33:11.490
Ariel Garten: See the simplest and easiest thing you can probably do to help yourself sleep is stop caffeine.

219
00:33:11.790 –> 00:33:21.090
Ariel Garten: You might be like Oh, I can still drink caffeine it’s fine maybe when you were 20 you could but right now, your caffeine sensitivity decreases as you age so really analyze it.

220
00:33:22.080 –> 00:33:29.820
Ariel Garten: The second is managing the amount of light that you get so light triggers a hormone called melatonin which many of us have heard of.

221
00:33:30.330 –> 00:33:37.710
Ariel Garten: You want it to be dark before you go to bed and bright when you wake up and you want to do that inconsistent timing.

222
00:33:38.130 –> 00:33:45.030
Ariel Garten: So choose the time seven to eight hours that you think you’re going to be able to sleep in regularly.

223
00:33:45.360 –> 00:33:53.520
Ariel Garten: You want it to be consistent, because you are literally training a system of your body your melatonin to be up at a time and down at the time up at a time and down it’s time.

224
00:33:53.970 –> 00:34:06.360
Ariel Garten: choose a time that’s realistic for you, maybe that’s 12 to seven maybe it’s 11 you know, maybe it’s 12 to 811 to six choose the realistic time and go to bed at the same time, every night and wake up, at the same time, every morning.

225
00:34:06.990 –> 00:34:14.400
Ariel Garten: Before you go to bed try to limit the amount of light that you have in your eyes it’s really great if you can dim your lights half an hour before bedtime.

226
00:34:14.700 –> 00:34:19.560
Ariel Garten: Know screens in your face just before bedtime when you wake up in the morning light in your eyes.

227
00:34:20.250 –> 00:34:35.670
Ariel Garten: So those are some of the easiest takeaways for what to do to get your sleep working physically on the mental side, there are two reasons that we don’t sleep well one is because we’re worried about not sleeping and the second is because we have anxiety in our lives.

228
00:34:36.210 –> 00:34:39.150
Ariel Garten: And so, if you can let go of the anxiety around not sleeping.

229
00:34:39.390 –> 00:34:49.950
Ariel Garten: You can actually get dramatically further one of the reasons that we entered into the world of sleep was that we were hearing from us users, that they were using news before bedtime to help them sleep.

230
00:34:50.370 –> 00:34:56.160
Ariel Garten: And then from the studies that we did we realized actually that’s very effective, so people would use muse right before they were falling asleep.

231
00:34:56.640 –> 00:35:04.800
Ariel Garten: to train their brain to why it the you know the voices to quiet, the ruminating thoughts and it would help them slip into sleep.

232
00:35:05.280 –> 00:35:13.560
Ariel Garten: And then, if you wake up in the night, rather than thinking, oh no i’m going to be late for this thing, oh no i’m going to feel terrible, oh no and creating anxiety around sleep.

233
00:35:13.920 –> 00:35:20.640
Ariel Garten: If you simply lie there and focus on your breath and be like a modest sleep for a few minutes that’s Okay, this is a concept called equanimity.

234
00:35:20.670 –> 00:35:21.930
Jason Mefford: That you also learn a meditation it’s.

235
00:35:21.930 –> 00:35:35.790
Ariel Garten: Just like not sleeping that’s fine you know eventually asleep, and you just breathe deeply meditate a little, if you want, eventually, you will fall back asleep, because it is often that anxiety around not sleeping that ironically keeps us awake.

236
00:35:36.960 –> 00:35:44.040
Jason Mefford: yeah which is funny because the more people worry about not sleeping, the more they don’t sleep right.

237
00:35:44.100 –> 00:35:58.650
Jason Mefford: Yes, which is, which is, which is ironic and so yeah you can use things like that so it’s interesting because, like with me, I have my whole routine how I go to sleep how I wake up right and and so like you said you know, trying to.

238
00:36:00.030 –> 00:36:07.740
Jason Mefford: Probably our phones are one of the worst things that keep people from having a good night’s sleep, because you know I noticed.

239
00:36:08.430 –> 00:36:24.000
Jason Mefford: got apple products and they started doing the wind down right do you want to do you want to wind down on your phone set a time when you want to go to sleep and then a half hour beforehand it kind of starts to shut off some notifications or do some different things.

240
00:36:25.920 –> 00:36:32.280
Jason Mefford: So that you’re not on your phone because again it’s we’re staring at the phone it’s light in our eyes.

241
00:36:32.580 –> 00:36:41.010
Jason Mefford: Plus our mind is going crazy to right because we’re like scrolling Facebook or instagram or whatever, and so our mind is like going going going going going.

242
00:36:41.460 –> 00:36:52.620
Jason Mefford: So i’ve always heard you know, whatever you do you know it’s half an hour before you go to bed, you want to start winding down, which is sounds like again it’s kind of what you’re talking about there too.

243
00:36:53.310 –> 00:37:03.510
Ariel Garten: yeah you want to start engaging practices that are going to help you sleep, so one of the things that we’ve built with the muse S, which is our newest device that helps you sleep.

244
00:37:03.870 –> 00:37:10.230
Ariel Garten: Is this amazing biofeedback experience that actually teaches you to quiet your mind.

245
00:37:10.620 –> 00:37:19.560
Ariel Garten: So you’re listening to audio content, it can be soundscape that’s actually built from your body and nature soundscape it’s in training, your body into sleep.

246
00:37:19.830 –> 00:37:26.640
Ariel Garten: Or it can be a guided meditation that’s guiding you to you know move your mind out of the wandering thoughts and onto your breath and relax your muscles.

247
00:37:27.150 –> 00:37:38.550
Ariel Garten: And then, as you’re falling asleep, as you were the muse device, because the muse is tracks in your brain it’s a real EG it’s literally like a sleep lab, it is a clinical grade EG on your head.

248
00:37:39.570 –> 00:37:50.610
Ariel Garten: It is able to actually interpret your state of wakefulness and change the content, based on it so as you’re falling asleep the devices able to see your state of wakefulness.

249
00:37:50.940 –> 00:37:59.760
Ariel Garten: And shift and guide that content to be quieter to be slower to really indicate to your brain that it’s okay to let go now it’s time to sleep.

250
00:38:00.300 –> 00:38:10.200
Ariel Garten: We found this to be remarkably effective in a recent study by a third party lab they saw like a 27% increase in the Pittsburgh sleep quality index using this.

251
00:38:10.860 –> 00:38:15.630
Ariel Garten: Because it really helps you just have a tool that you can rely on to quiet your mind and sleep.

252
00:38:16.080 –> 00:38:22.560
Ariel Garten: And then reduces all of that anxiety that you have around, oh no am I going to not sleep, because if you wake back up in the night.

253
00:38:23.040 –> 00:38:37.590
Ariel Garten: The muse, which is still on your head, will be able to actually see that you are now awake because it’s a clinical grade EG tracking your state of wakefulness it brings in the same intervention that helped you fall asleep, the first time, and just guides you back to sleep automatically.

254
00:38:38.820 –> 00:38:54.000
Jason Mefford: Well i’m guessing that it probably can even do it a little bit subconsciously because it’s notices that you’re coming back even before you’re probably consciously awake it’s actually helping you go back down because your subconscious is pulling that in.

255
00:38:54.750 –> 00:39:04.800
Ariel Garten: yeah and you can set all the settings so you can choose how long you are awake for before the audio comes in, you can choose how long the ramp down is you can choose the kind of audio.

256
00:39:05.100 –> 00:39:12.240
Ariel Garten: So you have total control over your experience to really create what it is for you, that is your personal sleep assistant to guide you into sleep.

257
00:39:14.670 –> 00:39:15.690
Jason Mefford: fabulous stuff.

258
00:39:16.740 –> 00:39:17.250
Ariel Garten: amazing.

259
00:39:17.400 –> 00:39:18.990
Jason Mefford: I told you, I mean I could.

260
00:39:19.980 –> 00:39:28.350
Jason Mefford: I could geek out on all this stuff because, again, the whole science side of it, the whole you know, mindful and spiritual side of it, I could sit here and talk to you for hours but.

261
00:39:28.950 –> 00:39:37.530
Jason Mefford: Unfortunately, we both have busy we can’t do that, plus the people that are listening have to get back to whatever they have to get back to as well, but.

262
00:39:38.100 –> 00:39:44.730
Jason Mefford: Thank you so very much for for coming on here and and for what you’re doing for the good that you’re doing in the world and.

263
00:39:45.720 –> 00:39:55.650
Jason Mefford: It always makes me happy when I see that there are people in the world who are trying to make a positive change in the world which.

264
00:39:56.160 –> 00:40:08.520
Jason Mefford: that’s what I see you doing and so i’m grateful for you and for what you’ve been doing and for the hundreds of thousands of people that you help as well, so any any final thoughts, you know before we end up wrapping out.

265
00:40:09.240 –> 00:40:16.920
Ariel Garten: Oh that’s so kind of you really, really kind, and you know we’re trying, we got really lucky that somehow we got this right and it really is working.

266
00:40:17.400 –> 00:40:25.200
Ariel Garten: And I know there’s lots of people trying and it doesn’t always work but i’m here to help and support anybody out there who needs help and.

267
00:40:25.650 –> 00:40:35.190
Ariel Garten: In doing what they want to do in their lives, so thank you so much for this conversation for the ability to dive deep and to spend some time together yeah.

268
00:40:35.880 –> 00:40:44.370
Jason Mefford: Well, thank you and for everybody that’s listening, this is probably one of those episodes you want to hear more than once, and we might have sounded like your mother get a good night’s sleep.

269
00:40:45.930 –> 00:40:51.450
Jason Mefford: You know, sit in silence for a little bit probably throw in there, drink a lot of water would be another good one, too, but.

270
00:40:51.960 –> 00:41:01.590
Jason Mefford: they’re simple things, but when you do them it’s it’s not whoo whoo stuff This is all backed up in scientific research as well, so.

271
00:41:02.040 –> 00:41:14.040
Jason Mefford: Believe it don’t believe it it’s up to you, but if you want to feel better why not at least just try it right that’s what I always try to tell people just try it see if it works.

272
00:41:15.240 –> 00:41:19.590
Jason Mefford: So thank you and glad to have you back at some point the future.

273
00:41:20.400 –> 00:41:21.540
Ariel Garten: So, look forward to that.

274
00:41:22.020 –> 00:41:22.650
Jason Mefford: Thank you and good.

275
00:41:22.860 –> 00:41:26.550
Jason Mefford: afternoon, you too and it’s going to be a magnificent rest of the day.

276
00:41:26.940 –> 00:41:27.720
Ariel Garten: Yes, it will.

277
00:41:28.260 –> 00:41:29.640
Ariel Garten: Thanks goodbye.

You may already be familiar with personality profiles like Myers-Briggs or DISC that you can use to learn more about yourself and others as ways to relate and communicate better with others.

Have you heard of Human Design?

In this #jammingwithjason #podcast I talk with Stefanie Elias about this new option of getting to know yourself better. When we know ourselves better, accept our own uniqueness, and be that person we help bring our unique gifts to the world. We can also have more compassion for ourselves and others.

And as always, what we are talking about is kind of what we are really talking about. Take a listen and see what you need to hear this week.

Reach out to Stefanie on social media through Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn:

https://www.instagram.com/stef.e1010/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stefanie-elias-human-design-guide-196884209/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100014047359326

Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/jammingwithjason233/

Transcript

1
00:00:02.939 –> 00:00:10.139
Jason Mefford: Well hey you may already be familiar with certain tools that some people use to help understand themselves.

2
00:00:10.500 –> 00:00:16.139
Jason Mefford: and understand other people, maybe that they work with or other people in their family that they’re dealing with.

3
00:00:16.710 –> 00:00:22.950
Jason Mefford: You know some of the things like the myers briggs profile or disc from a communication perspective.

4
00:00:23.490 –> 00:00:33.720
Jason Mefford: And you know lots of people use these and their ways for us to help know ourselves better and know the other people that were working with are dealing with, so that we can actually relate better.

5
00:00:34.410 –> 00:00:40.590
Jason Mefford: Well, today i’m talking to stephanie Elias about another one called human design.

6
00:00:41.160 –> 00:00:51.240
Jason Mefford: And this is another way for us to help get to know ourselves better it’s something I don’t know a whole lot about myself so i’m excited to jump in and talk with stephanie today.

7
00:00:51.720 –> 00:01:05.880
Jason Mefford: So if you want to get to know yourself better make sure, and whatever you do listen to this entire episode and see if human design is something that resonates with you so with that let’s roll that episode.

8
00:01:08.760 –> 00:01:12.960
Jason Mefford: Alright stephanie well welcome, how are you today.

9
00:01:14.610 –> 00:01:17.250
Stefanie Elias: Thank you for having me i’m very well thanks Jason.

10
00:01:17.790 –> 00:01:18.420
You know it’s.

11
00:01:19.440 –> 00:01:27.390
Jason Mefford: This is, this is one of those i’m excited for this discussion because i’m a curious learner I always like to learn new things.

12
00:01:27.840 –> 00:01:44.640
Jason Mefford: And I know i’ve heard a little bit in kind of the fringes about human design so i’m excited to learn more about what that actually is, and to kind of hear your story, because you know I know that it’s it’s made a big impact in your life.

13
00:01:45.720 –> 00:01:53.220
Jason Mefford: In want to see you know how it can maybe make a big impact in my life for life of other people who are listening.

14
00:01:53.700 –> 00:02:12.330
Jason Mefford: as well, so so maybe just to start off with give us all a little context as to you know what was going on in your life and then you found this thing called human design, what is it and how it’s how it’s actually helped you.

15
00:02:13.710 –> 00:02:18.090
Stefanie Elias: Sure um so I discovered human design.

16
00:02:19.170 –> 00:02:21.180
Stefanie Elias: i’m going to say it’s like six or eight months ago.

17
00:02:22.440 –> 00:02:24.420
Stefanie Elias: And i’d seen it.

18
00:02:25.530 –> 00:02:38.850
Stefanie Elias: You know, online here and there, but I never really looked into it, and when I finally did I was amazed and astounded and I felt.

19
00:02:41.310 –> 00:02:46.320
Stefanie Elias: I felt very seen and heard and validated because.

20
00:02:47.670 –> 00:02:54.570
Stefanie Elias: i’m there’s five different types in human design and i’m one of the types that’s less rare, so I felt like.

21
00:02:56.970 –> 00:03:01.920
Stefanie Elias: Like like someone was telling me all about myself, but this person didn’t know me.

22
00:03:03.240 –> 00:03:04.950
Stefanie Elias: So that’s what it was like for me.

23
00:03:05.760 –> 00:03:15.150
Jason Mefford: Well, and so it’s interesting because you say you felt seen heard and validated right and I, and I know you know for myself lots of other people i’ve talked to.

24
00:03:15.900 –> 00:03:31.110
Jason Mefford: A lot of times we feel like people don’t get me i’m weird i’m different i’m whatever it is right there’s something wrong with me because i’m not like everybody else.

25
00:03:31.470 –> 00:03:43.680
Jason Mefford: Right is it so that’s kind of how it sounds like you were kind of feeling right, but this helps you how did this help you be feel seen and heard and validated more.

26
00:03:45.660 –> 00:03:52.170
Stefanie Elias: um well I I went very deep into my own type and.

27
00:03:53.670 –> 00:03:56.040
Stefanie Elias: um I discovered.

28
00:03:57.120 –> 00:04:09.330
Stefanie Elias: Like unconscious things that when I when it was brought to my awareness, then it then it resonated so it’s like I learned so much about myself that I didn’t even know.

29
00:04:11.280 –> 00:04:13.980
Stefanie Elias: I don’t know if that answers the question clearly.

30
00:04:15.780 –> 00:04:31.080
Jason Mefford: Well, so, so I guess then maybe by learning more about yourself and having it resonate it made you feel more comfortable being yourself and that it was okay to be who you were and.

31
00:04:32.100 –> 00:04:33.900
Jason Mefford: This is a kind of where you’re going with that.

32
00:04:34.560 –> 00:04:55.650
Stefanie Elias: yeah and to realize like my own uniqueness and and that it’s safe and that it’s okay to be authentic to be weird right just to do me and in realizing that you realize that every other single soul on the planet.

33
00:04:56.970 –> 00:05:01.320
Stefanie Elias: is exactly that created in that same unique way.

34
00:05:03.420 –> 00:05:22.440
Stefanie Elias: And, and it helps when you can see that you yourself are that way it helps your relationships with your family and your friends and your coworkers and your enemies and anyone to because you realize that they are also designed in this unique way.

35
00:05:24.540 –> 00:05:26.340
Stefanie Elias: And that’s sometimes where.

36
00:05:28.800 –> 00:05:36.090
Stefanie Elias: i’m like problems can come up in relationships, because there’s friction right because we’re because we’re different.

37
00:05:36.360 –> 00:05:44.340
Jason Mefford: A little bit about the other person to be like us right instead of instead of celebrating their own uniqueness and allowing them to be themselves.

38
00:05:45.360 –> 00:05:45.990
Stefanie Elias: Exactly.

39
00:05:47.100 –> 00:05:51.030
Jason Mefford: yeah because I think that’s where a lot of the friction comes in most of our relationships right.

40
00:05:52.050 –> 00:06:01.440
Stefanie Elias: Right and I realized that our relationships are like a playing field for growth for evolution when we can see.

41
00:06:03.750 –> 00:06:05.520
Stefanie Elias: The uniqueness of everyone.

42
00:06:07.020 –> 00:06:17.010
Stefanie Elias: Well, it just makes more peace in your heart and your life and your relationships and so much more expansion.

43
00:06:20.910 –> 00:06:26.160
Jason Mefford: Well, and so so so let’s let’s talk a little bit about this, because I know again, you know a lot of people.

44
00:06:26.760 –> 00:06:35.040
Jason Mefford: Probably aren’t familiar with this right so in the business world, I used myers briggs desk you know some of these different kind of.

45
00:06:35.790 –> 00:06:44.490
Jason Mefford: Profiling tools, if you will, right so so you know if somebody is kind of familiar with those right you go usually you kind of.

46
00:06:45.060 –> 00:06:59.010
Jason Mefford: answer some questions you do some different things, and then you kind of get a report right that shows you what your type is right now, and I think that’s a term that human design uses as well right as type.

47
00:06:59.760 –> 00:07:10.140
Jason Mefford: Yes, so well, so when we’re when we’re using that term folks you’ll know what that means right is your type so like, for you know, for me, for myers briggs i’m an eye and tj.

48
00:07:10.800 –> 00:07:21.120
Jason Mefford: Which is a rare thing which again probably kind of like you, you know when I found that out i’m like only a few percentage points of the people are this right so.

49
00:07:21.810 –> 00:07:31.950
Jason Mefford: And that’s why i’m a little different than most people right, but as I would go through, and I, and I read the information about what an eye in tj was.

50
00:07:32.520 –> 00:07:44.730
Jason Mefford: It resonated with me and it’s like oh that’s why I do those things that’s why i’m this way that’s why i’m a contrarian sometimes right and why i’m a little bit of a rebel.

51
00:07:45.360 –> 00:07:55.410
Jason Mefford: Is because I just think different or I am a little different right so so, how does, how does the you know just so people can kind of.

52
00:07:55.890 –> 00:08:07.590
Jason Mefford: get a context, if they’ve gone through one of those other ones, what do you do in human design is that the same kind of thing or How does that work for you to be able to find out what your type is.

53
00:08:09.060 –> 00:08:14.400
Stefanie Elias: So human design is not a test that you take it is.

54
00:08:16.260 –> 00:08:30.600
Stefanie Elias: Human design is the is like an energetic map of you it’s where the sun and the earth and the moon, and the planets were located at the time, you were born and 88 degrees before you were born.

55
00:08:31.830 –> 00:08:39.150
Stefanie Elias: And it takes those two energetic snapshots and it overlays them and it gives you.

56
00:08:40.260 –> 00:08:56.010
Stefanie Elias: Your body graph so there’s the unconscious, which is the 88 days or the 88 degrees before you were born and then the conscious is the snapshot of like the universe, the planets at the time that you were born.

57
00:08:58.260 –> 00:09:02.370
Stefanie Elias: And so, like that it’s not a test that you take it just is.

58
00:09:03.390 –> 00:09:03.720
Jason Mefford: Okay.

59
00:09:05.250 –> 00:09:14.280
Jason Mefford: So you would get information about where you’re born time date things like that, and so it’s it’s really kind of a melding.

60
00:09:14.760 –> 00:09:26.790
Jason Mefford: You know I talked about the the myers briggs desk right, this is this is more kind of like an astrology sign if you will right so other people, you know people probably familiar with.

61
00:09:27.840 –> 00:09:34.920
Jason Mefford: horoscopes the astrological signs as well right, so if you’re already kind of familiar with that.

62
00:09:36.270 –> 00:09:44.250
Jason Mefford: This sounds like goes into a lot more depth than just what a horoscope might right is that.

63
00:09:44.370 –> 00:09:59.490
Stefanie Elias: Right, yes, human design is it combines several systems that uses astrology it uses the tree of life, it uses the E Ching and it also uses.

64
00:10:00.690 –> 00:10:06.480
Stefanie Elias: The Chakra system and it takes all of that together.

65
00:10:09.660 –> 00:10:16.500
Jason Mefford: To be able to give you a better a better picture of what’s going on now so so again, some people might mean.

66
00:10:17.910 –> 00:10:26.160
Jason Mefford: I know about astrology I don’t talk a lot of Bethel on this podcast but let’s let’s just talk about it too right because you know again sometimes people are.

67
00:10:27.570 –> 00:10:32.400
Jason Mefford: Look at it and go oh that’s just right I don’t believe in astrology.

68
00:10:33.510 –> 00:10:49.530
Jason Mefford: Well, you know, the same thing for me when I read the characteristics or the things about an iron tj on myers briggs when I do the same thing for my astrology sign which happens to be Leo i’m a Leo.

69
00:10:50.730 –> 00:10:55.380
Jason Mefford: And when I read information about leo’s damn it’s spot on.

70
00:10:56.550 –> 00:11:10.200
Jason Mefford: Like of who I am right and who I feel like I am and so i’m sure you know people that have been listening at some point, you probably kind of you know poke your head in a little bit or read the horoscopes on Sunday right.

71
00:11:11.040 –> 00:11:30.990
Jason Mefford: And, and you can probably relate or identify with some of those things it’s the same kind of a thing with this right, I mean, as you were describing feeling like you were seeing heard and validated when you kind of read the information about your particular type.

72
00:11:32.130 –> 00:11:38.790
Jason Mefford: i’m guessing that’s kind of what you meant to write like it was just resonating with you like oh yeah that’s who I am.

73
00:11:39.930 –> 00:11:47.340
Stefanie Elias: And you can feel it like in every cell of your body like this is me this is my being.

74
00:11:49.650 –> 00:11:53.520
Stefanie Elias: Right it’s it’s energy it’s all energy, everything is energy.

75
00:11:57.600 –> 00:12:01.500
Jason Mefford: Everything is energy and everything has energy but that’s a topic for another.

76
00:12:01.500 –> 00:12:02.730
Stefanie Elias: podcast that’s right.

77
00:12:04.410 –> 00:12:16.320
Jason Mefford: So so okay so so it’s interesting so so maybe you know again just you know explain how, how do you do this, I mean if somebody is interested in human design, how to.

78
00:12:17.100 –> 00:12:26.160
Jason Mefford: How do they go about it, you know get some of these other ones again like you take a test or you buy a book or you do something like that, how would you do this with with human design.

79
00:12:27.600 –> 00:12:30.300
Stefanie Elias: You can there’s different sites, you can go to.

80
00:12:31.320 –> 00:12:40.320
Stefanie Elias: I use genetic matrix.com and you can you can get your free profile and you can see your body graph and.

81
00:12:41.460 –> 00:12:54.210
Stefanie Elias: Unless you know human design, you probably won’t have much of a clue about what it means, because it you’ll see it has centers and it has gates and channels and so all the planets listed and.

82
00:12:54.750 –> 00:13:11.550
Stefanie Elias: it’s all very super super interesting and it goes very much in depth, and it can also look really confusing, so you can find a lot of free information on the Internet, but then there’s also a lot of like human design guides out there.

83
00:13:12.630 –> 00:13:14.670
Stefanie Elias: And you can get like a human design reading.

84
00:13:15.390 –> 00:13:15.690
Okay.

85
00:13:16.890 –> 00:13:27.810
Jason Mefford: So, and I know you know because again to kind of tie in like with the astrology thing I know that’s been a thing right, I mean I knows different astrologers and that’s what they do right they.

86
00:13:28.320 –> 00:13:46.350
Jason Mefford: They take a look at your charts and then they they kind of read or look at you know, based on information about you information about some of these other things that they’re looking at to kind of help do things like predict, you know what might transpire for you this next year.

87
00:13:46.680 –> 00:13:47.850
Jason Mefford: As an example, right.

88
00:13:48.480 –> 00:13:53.220
Jason Mefford: And I know again as i’m talking about this, some people are going to be like that’s just bullshit well.

89
00:13:54.300 –> 00:14:04.020
Jason Mefford: i’ll tell you folks on one of my other podcasts I interviewed and astrologer a few times this woman like to the month, you know.

90
00:14:05.160 –> 00:14:11.010
Jason Mefford: New when the Berlin Wall, is going to come down right and just stuff that you would.

91
00:14:12.900 –> 00:14:22.830
Jason Mefford: Not even think about right so so you know if you’re a little skeptical just try it out see if it resonates for you, because that’s what I like to tell people is.

92
00:14:23.280 –> 00:14:36.060
Jason Mefford: You know who knows it might work for you, it might not work for you, but the only way you’re going to know is, if you try it if you try it and you like it and it’s helpful then there’s no harm in that right.

93
00:14:37.110 –> 00:14:42.210
Jason Mefford: So you know with that, I mean let’s you know to kind of see how it.

94
00:14:43.620 –> 00:14:55.050
Jason Mefford: How are really kind of impacted you what What did you learn about your self right that that has been helpful because you know.

95
00:14:55.800 –> 00:15:06.720
Jason Mefford: Because i’m sure you’ve probably done some of these other things too, but what was it about this, or what did you learn about yourself that really kind of helped pull this together for you.

96
00:15:10.500 –> 00:15:12.870
Stefanie Elias: yeah so there’s.

97
00:15:14.550 –> 00:15:21.360
Stefanie Elias: Like when you’re talking about like myers briggs or other like personality tests, you have big.

98
00:15:22.770 –> 00:15:35.010
Stefanie Elias: Like there’s there’s different groupings within that right or different types in human design, you also have different types, but like within the type you have your own unique profile.

99
00:15:35.970 –> 00:15:45.990
Stefanie Elias: That is unlike anyone else that’s right so it’s extremely individualized and unique and specific for you.

100
00:15:47.160 –> 00:15:51.270
Stefanie Elias: And, and so yeah it really.

101
00:15:52.470 –> 00:15:54.810
Stefanie Elias: served me in a way.

102
00:15:59.430 –> 00:16:02.370
Stefanie Elias: It just It made me feel like.

103
00:16:03.960 –> 00:16:21.150
Stefanie Elias: me and my life and my purpose is really needed, because no one else on the planet has the same energy that I do no one else has the exact same shadows and gifts.

104
00:16:22.260 –> 00:16:23.460
Stefanie Elias: that I have.

105
00:16:25.650 –> 00:16:29.880
Stefanie Elias: And for me, a lot of the times I used to feel.

106
00:16:30.900 –> 00:16:40.680
Stefanie Elias: And it’s still do sometimes that you know there’s so many wonderful people on the planet there’s so many books podcasts courses.

107
00:16:41.970 –> 00:16:43.230
Stefanie Elias: there’s so much.

108
00:16:44.940 –> 00:16:48.090
Stefanie Elias: there’s so many words there’s so much noise it’s like.

109
00:16:49.440 –> 00:16:53.550
Stefanie Elias: Do I really need to add to that like do I have anything.

110
00:16:54.780 –> 00:16:58.380
Stefanie Elias: unique of value that I can actually give to the world.

111
00:16:59.610 –> 00:17:00.150
Stefanie Elias: and

112
00:17:01.410 –> 00:17:03.420
Stefanie Elias: Human design showed me that, yes, I do.

113
00:17:04.710 –> 00:17:06.150
Stefanie Elias: And yes, everyone does.

114
00:17:07.800 –> 00:17:12.120
Stefanie Elias: Their there’s there’s no one that doesn’t have something.

115
00:17:13.170 –> 00:17:21.390
Stefanie Elias: The gifts doesn’t have a gift or doesn’t have a value it doesn’t have something unique to bring to the world.

116
00:17:23.430 –> 00:17:25.800
Stefanie Elias: And, and for me that was huge.

117
00:17:28.380 –> 00:17:30.150
Stefanie Elias: And when when one person.

118
00:17:31.440 –> 00:17:34.680
Stefanie Elias: doesn’t bring their gifts to the world.

119
00:17:36.390 –> 00:17:44.280
Stefanie Elias: there’s a hole there there’s a void there’s something missing, there is something in the in the in the big picture.

120
00:17:45.720 –> 00:17:51.840
Stefanie Elias: That could be a blessing to someone that could help someone that could encourage someone.

121
00:17:53.940 –> 00:17:58.740
Stefanie Elias: that’s not going to happen if you don’t use your gifts and bring.

122
00:17:59.820 –> 00:18:01.050
Stefanie Elias: Your gifts to the world.

123
00:18:05.520 –> 00:18:12.180
Stefanie Elias: Because in the big picture, we all there’s a puzzle and we’re all a piece and we’re all needed and we all fit.

124
00:18:15.210 –> 00:18:27.420
Jason Mefford: We fit together perfectly right because it, because as you’re talking there you know, again I think that’s that’s some things that people need to hear right, because I think sometimes we.

125
00:18:29.250 –> 00:18:38.340
Jason Mefford: You know it’s interesting that you bring up about how even though, yes, there are types, it really is more about the uniqueness of you.

126
00:18:39.270 –> 00:18:48.300
Jason Mefford: Because I think so much of the time, and like you said, even you know i’m familiar with myers briggs a lot of people listening might be so i’ll just use that as an example.

127
00:18:49.440 –> 00:18:59.820
Jason Mefford: right for four different letter combinations that make up 16 different types right, if you will, and everybody gets placed in a box.

128
00:19:01.260 –> 00:19:08.190
Jason Mefford: And so you know you might go through and read that or you might read something like your zodiac sign and it’s like.

129
00:19:08.790 –> 00:19:30.630
Jason Mefford: You know about 50 to 75% of that really sounds like me but i’m not so sure about the rest of it right, and so you know there’s this whole idea of we shouldn’t put people in boxes, we shouldn’t put ourself in boxes necessarily right.

130
00:19:31.830 –> 00:19:42.810
Jason Mefford: In I remember one of the guys that I that I used to work with, he told me one time with his with his grandson was a son or if it was son son or grandson I can’t remember.

131
00:19:44.070 –> 00:19:47.220
Jason Mefford: Mixed race couple mixed race children.

132
00:19:48.330 –> 00:19:59.430
Jason Mefford: And I remember him telling me, you know what what he would always tell his kids is don’t ever let somebody puts you in a box.

133
00:20:00.540 –> 00:20:09.390
Jason Mefford: Right, because so much of life, we want to get put in a box, you know you take something like race that really doesn’t matter.

134
00:20:09.990 –> 00:20:32.490
Jason Mefford: But on how many government forms, do you have to mark i’m white non Hispanic or I am you know East islander or I am whatever right so much of life is trying to put us all in a box in this order but damn it i’m not a box you’re not a box nobody’s a box right.

135
00:20:33.390 –> 00:20:50.100
Jason Mefford: Right and or or the other thing, where you know people try to put us in those boxes, or they try to make us conform yeah right that unless you’re like all the other kids there’s something wrong with you.

136
00:20:51.720 –> 00:20:56.280
Jason Mefford: You know you’re not here and I felt that, as a kid how I still feel that as an adult.

137
00:20:57.630 –> 00:21:01.020
Jason Mefford: Okay, because i’m not like all the other kids.

138
00:21:03.390 –> 00:21:22.380
Jason Mefford: So that message that you were just sharing too is it’s okay to be unique it’s okay to be weird it’s okay to be quirky because, without all of us being who we are and bringing our own unique experiences of perspective and everything else together.

139
00:21:24.780 –> 00:21:32.640
Jason Mefford: In a pretty picture in the world right, I mean imagine if you were trying to paint paint a painting, but you could only use red paint.

140
00:21:35.130 –> 00:21:35.640
Stefanie Elias: boring.

141
00:21:35.940 –> 00:21:39.930
Jason Mefford: boring, and the same shade of red, mind you.

142
00:21:40.620 –> 00:21:46.860
Jason Mefford: Right you just have a canvas full of the same paint and so it’s really it’s all of that.

143
00:21:48.330 –> 00:21:55.650
Jason Mefford: Difference uniqueness that actually adds to the overall experience well.

144
00:21:56.100 –> 00:22:09.960
Stefanie Elias: Yes, and human design we call it conditioning the you know everyone’s painted with the same color put in a box labeled organized you know it’s like because we understand.

145
00:22:11.970 –> 00:22:22.470
Stefanie Elias: We understand boxes, we can we can label things and then it feels like that’s where it belongs in and it’s safe right because we’re afraid of things that we don’t understand.

146
00:22:24.180 –> 00:22:28.980
Stefanie Elias: And and human design has helped me.

147
00:22:30.300 –> 00:22:31.080
Stefanie Elias: To.

148
00:22:32.520 –> 00:22:42.660
Stefanie Elias: Well, if your body graph shows you where your strengths are where your gifts are and where your potential for conditioning lies to.

149
00:22:43.980 –> 00:22:48.330
Stefanie Elias: And it’s very it’s a very, very powerful system.

150
00:22:49.620 –> 00:22:55.020
Stefanie Elias: And it is a system, but it is not a box is not a box for anyone.

151
00:22:57.870 –> 00:22:59.970
Jason Mefford: Well i’m sure you know, again you’ve.

152
00:23:01.500 –> 00:23:07.530
Jason Mefford: you’ve said how it helped you right to be able to understand yourself better.

153
00:23:10.050 –> 00:23:18.600
Jason Mefford: But How has it helped you I guess as well to understand other people, or maybe be more compassionate for other people as well.

154
00:23:18.900 –> 00:23:27.510
Stefanie Elias: Absolutely I sat around all my kids charts and and i’ve done, you know readings for other people and.

155
00:23:28.860 –> 00:23:43.140
Stefanie Elias: yeah, then you can see where they’re coming from you can see their energy, you can see their strengths and their gifts and and where you might struggle and another really cool thing you can do with human design is you can.

156
00:23:44.220 –> 00:23:51.870
Stefanie Elias: Do a relationship chart so you can like overlay one chart on top of another, and you can see where the potential.

157
00:23:53.010 –> 00:24:00.030
Stefanie Elias: strengths are, and also the weaknesses and so that you just so that you’re aware of it, and then you can.

158
00:24:01.650 –> 00:24:05.370
Stefanie Elias: Allow accept and embrace.

159
00:24:06.750 –> 00:24:10.230
Stefanie Elias: Because that is the path to.

160
00:24:11.550 –> 00:24:13.440
Stefanie Elias: To freedom to peace.

161
00:24:15.690 –> 00:24:21.900
Stefanie Elias: We don’t no one needs fixing, we just need accepting.

162
00:24:23.160 –> 00:24:25.050
Stefanie Elias: of each other and ourselves.

163
00:24:28.500 –> 00:24:30.840
Jason Mefford: Just writing that down i’m a note taker.

164
00:24:31.650 –> 00:24:34.680
Jason Mefford: Nobody needs fixing we need acceptance.

165
00:24:38.430 –> 00:24:39.750
Stefanie Elias: that’s really can only.

166
00:24:40.140 –> 00:24:46.860
Stefanie Elias: And we, and we can really honestly I, in my opinion, only.

167
00:24:48.060 –> 00:24:52.530
Stefanie Elias: love and accept others as much as we love and accept ourselves.

168
00:24:53.580 –> 00:25:01.680
Stefanie Elias: And when we do it for ourselves that energy like it radiates out and it affects.

169
00:25:02.730 –> 00:25:05.070
Stefanie Elias: Other people there’ll be a ripple effect.

170
00:25:06.180 –> 00:25:08.100
Stefanie Elias: Whether you realize it or not.

171
00:25:10.800 –> 00:25:16.800
Stefanie Elias: Because of us being authentic gives other people permission to be authentic.

172
00:25:21.540 –> 00:25:22.650
Jason Mefford: And, most of us.

173
00:25:23.760 –> 00:25:26.280
Jason Mefford: are afraid to be authentic right.

174
00:25:27.000 –> 00:25:27.900
Stefanie Elias: Yes, we are.

175
00:25:28.320 –> 00:25:37.110
Jason Mefford: Until someone else around us has the courage to actually show us and let us know that it’s okay.

176
00:25:37.860 –> 00:25:42.750
Stefanie Elias: Right and it’s it’s very okay it’s more than okay it’s.

177
00:25:43.920 –> 00:25:47.100
Stefanie Elias: it’s absolutely necessary for habitus.

178
00:25:48.360 –> 00:25:55.980
Jason Mefford: But I think it’s interesting because it’s you know, one of the things that I talked about a lot of times with people who are leaders right is.

179
00:25:57.330 –> 00:25:58.200
Jason Mefford: fix yourself.

180
00:25:59.640 –> 00:26:04.260
Jason Mefford: Right quit trying to fix everybody else you know fix yourself be yourself.

181
00:26:05.370 –> 00:26:18.210
Jason Mefford: And when you do that right then your world around you changes, and I think that’s that’s pretty much what you’re saying here too right is that I think so much of the time we were trying to fix other people.

182
00:26:19.380 –> 00:26:21.390
Jason Mefford: We want to fix other people right.

183
00:26:24.120 –> 00:26:26.580
Jason Mefford: And instead, we need to be fixing ourselves.

184
00:26:27.870 –> 00:26:39.360
Jason Mefford: And then other things, end up changing but that’s an area where it’s scary for most of us to go right is this whole idea of self worth self love.

185
00:26:40.500 –> 00:26:56.550
Jason Mefford: That we’re scared to go there yeah but it sounds like going through this process has helped helped you even to be able to accept and love yourself more to by actually understanding and embracing who you who you are.

186
00:26:57.030 –> 00:26:58.530
Stefanie Elias: Absolutely yeah.

187
00:26:59.940 –> 00:27:15.840
Stefanie Elias: yeah and something thats related well not something that’s born out of human design it’s a it’s a totally different system it’s called gene keys and it’s based on the E Ching.

188
00:27:17.370 –> 00:27:22.080
Stefanie Elias: And that is something that has helped me.

189
00:27:23.370 –> 00:27:26.880
Stefanie Elias: Just as much or maybe even more than human design.

190
00:27:27.960 –> 00:27:33.450
Stefanie Elias: um but it just it goes it goes very deep and.

191
00:27:35.820 –> 00:27:54.420
Stefanie Elias: Like we were talking about how your we’re how we’re all trying to you know change other people or fix other people, and when we when we transform ourselves on the inside, you can transform a relationship just by changing yourself by healing your own.

192
00:27:55.620 –> 00:27:56.580
Stefanie Elias: Inner wounds.

193
00:27:57.840 –> 00:27:59.670
Stefanie Elias: You know your trauma.

194
00:28:01.290 –> 00:28:11.100
Stefanie Elias: And the trauma that might not even be yours, it might be ancestral but by owning it, you can heal it and then you will automatically.

195
00:28:12.120 –> 00:28:15.810
Stefanie Elias: heal your relationships, it just it cannot happen.

196
00:28:18.390 –> 00:28:21.120
Jason Mefford: But it’s interesting because relationships are one that.

197
00:28:23.190 –> 00:28:26.190
Jason Mefford: So many people struggle with right.

198
00:28:28.650 –> 00:28:31.440
Jason Mefford: And, and so much of the time right we’re.

199
00:28:33.540 –> 00:28:36.060
Jason Mefford: You know I saw this through my divorce.

200
00:28:37.320 –> 00:28:52.350
Jason Mefford: You know my ex wife expected me to be a different person and wanted me to be a different person right or, as I was changing and growing and developing as an adult while I wasn’t the same guy that she married.

201
00:28:53.460 –> 00:29:03.390
Jason Mefford: yeah oh shit honey, I mean you know you can’t live life and be exactly the same person, the whole time right and and so much of the time.

202
00:29:04.050 –> 00:29:17.010
Jason Mefford: When we’re having relationship problems we want to change the other person or we were hoping or where we’re cajoling are arguing or fighting to get the other person.

203
00:29:18.210 –> 00:29:27.180
Jason Mefford: To be different, be the kind of person we want them to be when instead it sounds like we should be focusing on herself.

204
00:29:28.230 –> 00:29:28.620
Jason Mefford: Right.

205
00:29:29.400 –> 00:29:31.920
Jason Mefford: Selling killing those things doing.

206
00:29:32.430 –> 00:29:38.250
Jason Mefford: Those kind of things, and then the relationship takes care of itself is that what i’m kind of hearing you say.

207
00:29:39.840 –> 00:29:51.840
Stefanie Elias: It either the other person will respond to how you are changing on the inside healing your ruins and like stepping into your own unique.

208
00:29:53.190 –> 00:30:04.800
Stefanie Elias: Self like your own your own power, and they will either respond to that and and change or they’ll leave.

209
00:30:08.370 –> 00:30:08.550
Stefanie Elias: It.

210
00:30:09.570 –> 00:30:10.770
Stefanie Elias: To be one of the two.

211
00:30:11.370 –> 00:30:15.000
Jason Mefford: yeah so the relationship sort itself out one way or another.

212
00:30:15.270 –> 00:30:17.100
Stefanie Elias: Right right and.

213
00:30:17.520 –> 00:30:31.050
Stefanie Elias: Really, I think that when they if you are healing your own self and you are truly loving yourself and loving them and not being attached to the outcome.

214
00:30:33.750 –> 00:30:34.470
Stefanie Elias: The.

215
00:30:35.910 –> 00:30:42.810
Stefanie Elias: If the relationship ends, it will be peaceful it won’t be you know, a ton of drama.

216
00:30:47.250 –> 00:30:49.950
Stefanie Elias: So Jerry calm and peaceful.

217
00:30:51.660 –> 00:30:55.140
Stefanie Elias: way to to live, you know.

218
00:30:58.140 –> 00:30:59.160
Jason Mefford: Well, I think it’s.

219
00:31:00.270 –> 00:31:03.630
Jason Mefford: You know, again, as you is you’re talking about this is part of.

220
00:31:05.130 –> 00:31:08.790
Jason Mefford: You know, again, you can learn a lot, by doing this, about yourself.

221
00:31:10.860 –> 00:31:21.600
Jason Mefford: But it’s also some other lessons, even if you don’t go through and do this right, if you don’t go to you know, do the human design and get your chart and find out your type and all that kind of stuff.

222
00:31:22.860 –> 00:31:41.760
Jason Mefford: The stuff we’re talking about is still what you need to hear whether you do it or not right about kind of the self acceptance and the self love working on ourself you know, making ourselves better because, as we change the world around us changes.

223
00:31:42.780 –> 00:31:47.370
Jason Mefford: and also about being more compassionate for other people.

224
00:31:47.760 –> 00:31:48.330
Jason Mefford: I was.

225
00:31:48.510 –> 00:31:55.680
Jason Mefford: I was listening to a training we’re in one of the same programs together, I was watching one of the videos from that and.

226
00:31:57.210 –> 00:32:03.690
Jason Mefford: The point that came up, you know that everybody in the world is doing the best they know how.

227
00:32:04.710 –> 00:32:05.730
Jason Mefford: With what they have.

228
00:32:07.650 –> 00:32:11.670
Jason Mefford: And how true is that right and and and doesn’t that mean that.

229
00:32:13.200 –> 00:32:17.940
Jason Mefford: We should have that much more compassion for everybody.

230
00:32:18.990 –> 00:32:30.090
Jason Mefford: and celebrate everybody’s uniqueness yeah right because, like like you said at the beginning, right, as we all have a special purpose to play.

231
00:32:31.890 –> 00:32:38.070
Jason Mefford: And if we don’t play that then that color of paint never makes it.

232
00:32:39.210 –> 00:32:40.920
Jason Mefford: On the painting right.

233
00:32:42.090 –> 00:32:47.430
Jason Mefford: And that and that one thing because I remember it just reminded me of a movie that I watched it was about.

234
00:32:48.540 –> 00:32:50.760
Jason Mefford: Turner he was an artist in in.

235
00:32:52.140 –> 00:32:55.560
Jason Mefford: England in the 1800s very famous painter.

236
00:32:56.730 –> 00:33:08.820
Jason Mefford: And I remember one scene, where he painted it’s very famous painting of you know there’s a boat out in this lake and he goes up you know all of his work is is hung up in the.

237
00:33:12.480 –> 00:33:14.340
Jason Mefford: exposition whatever you call it right.

238
00:33:15.390 –> 00:33:27.990
Jason Mefford: And people are going around critiquing it and all of a sudden, he walks up and he’s got a paintbrush in his hand and the paintings done right it’s hanging on the wall and he walks up and he goes he looks at it pulls out his paintbrush and he goes.

239
00:33:29.220 –> 00:33:30.900
Jason Mefford: I think does one little job.

240
00:33:31.950 –> 00:33:36.630
Jason Mefford: Of like is orange red color and it was a very.

241
00:33:37.800 –> 00:33:52.320
Jason Mefford: muted color painting right grays browns things like that one pop of color at the end and everybody looked at him like what the hell, are you doing man you don’t do this when you’re when you’re exhibiting the stuff right.

242
00:33:53.340 –> 00:33:55.680
Jason Mefford: But how many of us might be that.

243
00:33:56.760 –> 00:34:04.590
Jason Mefford: Little pop of color that if we don’t show up if we don’t aren’t who we are authentically.

244
00:34:06.060 –> 00:34:15.180
Jason Mefford: That da BA paint never makes it on the painting, and now, when I see that painting by Turner what am I drawn to.

245
00:34:17.400 –> 00:34:23.640
Jason Mefford: That thing right and everybody at the time was so crazy you just ruined the painting.

246
00:34:24.720 –> 00:34:26.280
Jason Mefford: didn’t ruin the painting did it.

247
00:34:27.330 –> 00:34:28.200
Jason Mefford: But we made it.

248
00:34:29.250 –> 00:34:42.270
Jason Mefford: yeah and if we don’t show up and be who we are authentically right and allow other people around us to be that way as well, we could be missing out on the same kind of thing yeah.

249
00:34:43.500 –> 00:34:47.970
Stefanie Elias: there’s a there’s a great change happening in the world it’s already starting.

250
00:34:51.930 –> 00:34:52.680
Stefanie Elias: and

251
00:34:56.610 –> 00:35:02.010
Stefanie Elias: there’s there’s going to be a lot of like a big shifts in our emotional solar plexus.

252
00:35:03.780 –> 00:35:05.940
Stefanie Elias: And we’re going to be.

253
00:35:08.100 –> 00:35:15.180
Stefanie Elias: very gradually over years and years and years, like leaving behind this.

254
00:35:16.830 –> 00:35:23.910
Stefanie Elias: institutionalized type of society that we have right now and it’s going to be more.

255
00:35:26.310 –> 00:35:30.120
Stefanie Elias: it’s gonna be more like heaven on earth.

256
00:35:32.700 –> 00:35:37.800
Stefanie Elias: You know when when people love themselves, and when they love others.

257
00:35:38.940 –> 00:35:45.480
Stefanie Elias: there’s there’s not going to be the strife and the conflict and the wars and the poverty.

258
00:35:47.340 –> 00:35:48.570
Stefanie Elias: How can there be.

259
00:35:53.160 –> 00:35:55.320
Stefanie Elias: Right and that’s something that.

260
00:35:56.460 –> 00:36:01.200
Stefanie Elias: I don’t know I felt that for a long time, and in my.

261
00:36:02.310 –> 00:36:05.580
Stefanie Elias: journey of human design and also the gene keys it’s just.

262
00:36:07.380 –> 00:36:13.440
Stefanie Elias: it’s been like confirmed, or like I can feel it in every cell of my be.

263
00:36:16.770 –> 00:36:19.380
Jason Mefford: Well, in my opinion it’s about time.

264
00:36:20.910 –> 00:36:22.530
Jason Mefford: As well right, because I know.

265
00:36:23.970 –> 00:36:40.560
Jason Mefford: Like we talked about earlier on, I felt this way you felt this way a lot of people out there, feel like i’m different i’m weird I don’t fit in nobody’s going to accept me if I am that way and there’s been so many things that have happened.

266
00:36:41.970 –> 00:36:45.450
Jason Mefford: Especially in the last few years right that’s making it.

267
00:36:47.010 –> 00:36:52.140
Jason Mefford: Much more acceptable for people to publicly admit.

268
00:36:53.310 –> 00:37:04.290
Jason Mefford: who they are, what they do and again i’m just using an analogy here it’s not it’s not the end all be all but, but you know if you take, for example, people’s sexuality.

269
00:37:05.850 –> 00:37:19.950
Jason Mefford: For a long time you never talked about that publicly, because it was not allowed right if you were you know, in a homosexual relationship that had to be hidden because literally still some places of the world, you can die.

270
00:37:20.730 –> 00:37:22.710
Jason Mefford: If be if people find out about that.

271
00:37:23.160 –> 00:37:36.900
Jason Mefford: But over time there’s become a much more growing acceptance of it right and in the in the fact of you know if you’re homosexual male if you’re lesbian.

272
00:37:37.380 –> 00:37:59.550
Jason Mefford: Now you know, bisexual queer you know, whatever different terms are non binary right if people from a gender perspective if that’s how they choose to identify themselves it’s it’s becoming more Okay, for all of us to admit, who we really are underneath.

273
00:38:00.780 –> 00:38:09.330
Jason Mefford: Right and it’s a beautiful thing because you know, again, it puts fear in the institutions, because they want to put us in a box.

274
00:38:10.380 –> 00:38:24.450
Jason Mefford: They want to have a factory line like an old you know, think about like an old you know industrial factory but that’s not who we are and and it’s becoming more and more accepted and.

275
00:38:25.590 –> 00:38:33.240
Jason Mefford: that’s what we’re going to be living with right, so we have to learn how to connect and relate to other people.

276
00:38:33.810 –> 00:38:52.980
Jason Mefford: use their unique gifts right to our benefit because a lot of times people that we we think right might not fit in the box or exactly the people that we need, and I think i’ve shared on the podcast before about temple grandin you know autistic woman.

277
00:38:54.030 –> 00:38:56.910
Jason Mefford: One of the most brilliant minds in the world.

278
00:38:57.870 –> 00:39:00.840
Jason Mefford: And what she has been able to accomplish and her.

279
00:39:01.560 –> 00:39:11.100
Jason Mefford: Her push you know for autism and other stuff to be to be recognized is look we’re not we’re not disabled.

280
00:39:11.700 –> 00:39:20.160
Jason Mefford: we’re not you know we’re not weird we just have different gifts and we can see the world in a different way than most people can.

281
00:39:20.850 –> 00:39:37.980
Jason Mefford: In the fact that I can see the world in a different way means that I can make suggestions and improvements right and that woman has from an animal cruelty standpoint, and you know slaughterhouses, because I used to work for a company, and we have slaughterhouses.

282
00:39:39.510 –> 00:39:44.790
Jason Mefford: You know, to make it to make the the pain and suffering of the animal last at the end.

283
00:39:45.810 –> 00:39:54.270
Jason Mefford: While still accomplishing the bigger thing right and and there’s so much of that that’s out there, but if if we are not willing.

284
00:39:55.500 –> 00:39:57.930
Jason Mefford: To show up and be that Speck of paint.

285
00:39:58.950 –> 00:39:59.970
Stefanie Elias: On the painting.

286
00:40:00.600 –> 00:40:01.800
Jason Mefford: it’s never going to happen.

287
00:40:03.780 –> 00:40:12.870
Stefanie Elias: Right and there is no one right way to view anything to do anything to think anything.

288
00:40:14.730 –> 00:40:19.770
Stefanie Elias: how you see something how you view something how you think about something that’s correct.

289
00:40:20.820 –> 00:40:23.970
Stefanie Elias: And someone else is going to have a different perspective and that’s correct to.

290
00:40:26.370 –> 00:40:31.770
Jason Mefford: Do because, in our own interpretations were correct, but we have different interpretations right.

291
00:40:33.240 –> 00:40:45.360
Stefanie Elias: right but that’s just that’s just allowing and accepting and embracing like your own views your own interpretations and everyone else’s too and just allowing it.

292
00:40:46.860 –> 00:40:55.770
Stefanie Elias: There there’s so much peace and so much freedom and ease that that comes from that.

293
00:40:57.360 –> 00:41:08.850
Stefanie Elias: You know you just focus on your self focus on your journey and and how you can you know, be a blessing to others and serve others and help others along the ways, but not.

294
00:41:09.360 –> 00:41:24.540
Stefanie Elias: Trying to change them into what you think they should be like who am I to think that I should know even what my kids should be there, their own unique divine being.

295
00:41:26.880 –> 00:41:29.670
Stefanie Elias: How do I know what’s meant for them what’s the best for them.

296
00:41:32.040 –> 00:41:33.360
Stefanie Elias: Everyone knows.

297
00:41:35.610 –> 00:41:38.670
Stefanie Elias: Like in your soul, you know who you are.

298
00:41:40.170 –> 00:41:45.090
Stefanie Elias: You know what’s right for you and you know what your purposes.

299
00:41:46.530 –> 00:41:58.350
Stefanie Elias: Or you can find it, you know in human design or in the gene keys, or maybe in other ways, but it’s all there inside of you all the answers are inside of US already.

300
00:42:01.140 –> 00:42:10.590
Stefanie Elias: One thing that human design shows you is your inner authority and that’s how you make decisions that are aligned and correct for you.

301
00:42:11.910 –> 00:42:19.440
Stefanie Elias: So that you never need to wonder or worry or logically try to think through.

302
00:42:20.460 –> 00:42:24.720
Stefanie Elias: What should I decide you already know inside your body.

303
00:42:27.060 –> 00:42:29.160
Stefanie Elias: it’s a tremendous tremendous gift.

304
00:42:31.260 –> 00:42:38.760
Jason Mefford: Well, the more that we get in touch with that, I mean again some people use the word intuition right that goes along with that, but the more.

305
00:42:40.350 –> 00:42:44.790
Jason Mefford: The more we learn how that works and tap into that.

306
00:42:46.020 –> 00:42:47.340
Jason Mefford: The less we have to be in our head.

307
00:42:48.570 –> 00:42:59.160
Jason Mefford: And the quicker we’re able to make decisions right instead of you know a lot of people I work with they want to create a spreadsheet and T columns and all these different things and spend.

308
00:43:00.300 –> 00:43:07.680
Jason Mefford: spend two to four weeks trying to make a decision that they already know before they even go through the whole process right.

309
00:43:08.520 –> 00:43:28.890
Jason Mefford: And so what i’m hearing you say is, the more we can kind of tap into that understand how how we make decisions and just allow ourselves to make the decision the way we’ve been programmed instead of trying to do it the way other people would tell us were supposed to do it.

310
00:43:29.940 –> 00:43:34.080
Jason Mefford: We can also make quicker and better decisions as well.

311
00:43:34.920 –> 00:43:44.490
Stefanie Elias: Yes, and on one side, yes, you can make decision that’s correct for you, at that time, but on the other hand.

312
00:43:46.500 –> 00:44:00.240
Stefanie Elias: You can’t really make a wrong decision like even because there’s no mistakes it’s either going to be the correct decision for you, where you’ll have the you know the successful outcome that you want or it’ll be a lesson.

313
00:44:01.080 –> 00:44:05.310
Stefanie Elias: You know that there’s no mistakes there’s no wrong decisions there’s no.

314
00:44:07.980 –> 00:44:08.190
Stefanie Elias: um.

315
00:44:10.500 –> 00:44:18.930
Stefanie Elias: yeah Do you know what I mean how it’s it’s some it just gives you that freedom, it gives you that ease that you don’t have to worry you don’t have to stress.

316
00:44:20.940 –> 00:44:26.670
Stefanie Elias: But at the same time, but on the other hand, if you know your inner authority, then you can much more easily.

317
00:44:27.780 –> 00:44:31.800
Stefanie Elias: have more outcomes that are what you’re looking for.

318
00:44:33.810 –> 00:44:43.920
Jason Mefford: And maybe more outcomes that are quicker because we’re not again there’s no right or wrong decision if we decide, and it doesn’t serve us we make a different decision.

319
00:44:44.160 –> 00:44:54.600
Jason Mefford: Right, sometimes we have to make a lot of those decisions to get us, maybe, where we could have gotten quicker if we had just relied on that internal guidance system.

320
00:44:54.960 –> 00:45:05.670
Stefanie Elias: Yes, exactly yeah and there’s seven different inner authorities in human design and the mind is not one of them yeah that all.

321
00:45:07.110 –> 00:45:11.250
Jason Mefford: Well, because most of those decisions don’t come from the brain they come from the heart of the gut.

322
00:45:14.220 –> 00:45:18.990
Stefanie Elias: yeah did they come from our body like our body, no not our mind yeah.

323
00:45:21.180 –> 00:45:21.510
yeah.

324
00:45:23.310 –> 00:45:30.720
Stefanie Elias: So tuning into our bodies and getting out of our heads is it’s very, very powerful.

325
00:45:34.140 –> 00:45:35.460
Stefanie Elias: Something that I.

326
00:45:37.230 –> 00:45:42.360
Stefanie Elias: have learned and i’m sure I will, and I will practice it dress my life.

327
00:45:44.850 –> 00:45:45.810
Jason Mefford: yeah and continue to.

328
00:45:47.520 –> 00:45:49.260
Jason Mefford: All right, stephanie this has been.

329
00:45:51.990 –> 00:46:05.160
Jason Mefford: very enlightening and learning conversation, for me, I learned a lot i’ve taken a whole bunch of notes here, so now I gotta go actually do this and figure out what my type type is and my uniqueness and.

330
00:46:06.540 –> 00:46:08.280
Jason Mefford: get to know myself better.

331
00:46:09.450 –> 00:46:12.390
Jason Mefford: Right, so that I can relate with other people better.

332
00:46:13.620 –> 00:46:20.280
Jason Mefford: And really provide my own uniqueness, to the world.

333
00:46:21.420 –> 00:46:27.480
Jason Mefford: To be able to help been painting that big picture that we’re all painting and we’re all putting.

334
00:46:29.100 –> 00:46:35.340
Jason Mefford: Putting little bits of ourself into the overall totality of the human experience.

335
00:46:36.090 –> 00:46:38.100
Stefanie Elias: Yes, we’re all needed.

336
00:46:39.780 –> 00:46:43.830
Stefanie Elias: Everyone has their own unique gifts that they bring and.

337
00:46:45.750 –> 00:46:48.660
Stefanie Elias: And without them it’s just not the same.

338
00:46:51.840 –> 00:47:03.780
Jason Mefford: Great stuff well you know I know you know you’ve been into this now for for a little while, and I know I think you help people kind of read through and understand because I know i’ve seen some of the graphics and it’s like I have no idea what that means.

339
00:47:04.020 –> 00:47:05.820
Jason Mefford: So it’s a little confusing to me.

340
00:47:06.960 –> 00:47:21.450
Jason Mefford: That that’s one of the things that you do help people with so it, you know if people is there, listening to this, or like man, I want to get to know that lady how, how can they how’s the best way for people to reach out to you if they if they want to.

341
00:47:22.410 –> 00:47:30.060
Stefanie Elias: They can find me on Facebook just send me a message and also instagram and i’m also on linkedin.

342
00:47:30.840 –> 00:47:31.050
Okay.

343
00:47:32.100 –> 00:47:36.060
Jason Mefford: So either Facebook instagram or linkedin you can find her.

344
00:47:37.800 –> 00:47:40.080
Jason Mefford: And yeah like I said, thank you for.

345
00:47:41.850 –> 00:47:50.460
Jason Mefford: For coming on because I was the same thing I was probably where you were a year ago i’ve heard about some of this stuff I kind of keep seeing it in the periphery.

346
00:47:51.120 –> 00:48:08.550
Jason Mefford: But you know, one of the other things that I I try to do is once I once I hear the same thing 234 times I try to listen right like if if three or four people are recommending the same book within like a week I better go by the book.

347
00:48:09.870 –> 00:48:12.840
Jason Mefford: and read it, because it’s it’s something that I needed to hear.

348
00:48:13.380 –> 00:48:15.330
Jason Mefford: And this is one of those topics.

349
00:48:15.420 –> 00:48:20.250
Jason Mefford: I think for me to that is something i’m supposed to do now so.

350
00:48:21.240 –> 00:48:25.740
Jason Mefford: Any any any final thoughts that you’d like to leave with people as well before we.

351
00:48:25.860 –> 00:48:27.000
Jason Mefford: Before we wrap up here.

352
00:48:28.680 –> 00:48:29.430
Stefanie Elias: um.

353
00:48:35.400 –> 00:48:47.370
Stefanie Elias: Can I read a little bit something from a book it’s about the eighth gene key which is transitioning I believe through the earth right now and it’s going to be in the full moon moral.

354
00:48:48.240 –> 00:49:05.370
Stefanie Elias: And the partial lunar eclipse and the eighth genki is about it’s the shadow of mediocrity and inside that shadow lies the gift of style which.

355
00:49:06.150 –> 00:49:17.160
Stefanie Elias: You were alluding to earlier, you were talking about you know how you felt different or weird and a little bit rebellious because you don’t fit in a box.

356
00:49:18.240 –> 00:49:22.890
Stefanie Elias: And that’s exactly what this gift is all about.

357
00:49:24.840 –> 00:49:25.590
Stefanie Elias: and

358
00:49:26.790 –> 00:49:32.340
Stefanie Elias: The eighth gift is the gift of style and true style is always rebellious.

359
00:49:33.930 –> 00:49:43.950
Stefanie Elias: it’s rebellious because it’s always recreating itself it isn’t afraid of the mundane material plane and it isn’t in reaction to it either.

360
00:49:44.910 –> 00:50:00.960
Stefanie Elias: This is a state that’s always exploring new paradigms that’s always expanding out of its boundaries into new areas, these are people who aren’t afraid of trying new things they’re not afraid of constantly redefining themselves.

361
00:50:02.010 –> 00:50:09.810
Stefanie Elias: Their competence derives from their lack of a fixed self image they can be a plumber one moment and a pirate the next.

362
00:50:11.520 –> 00:50:18.300
Stefanie Elias: The eighth gift has no investment in its own image it’s the process in which self image is being short circuited.

363
00:50:19.380 –> 00:50:27.630
Stefanie Elias: The moment we surrender to life we surrender to a dance that so mysterious, we can never follow it with our mind.

364
00:50:32.880 –> 00:50:35.130
Stefanie Elias: that’s my book by Richard Rudd.

365
00:50:36.210 –> 00:50:38.010
Stefanie Elias: it’s called the 64 ways.

366
00:50:44.550 –> 00:50:45.060
Jason Mefford: Thank you.

367
00:50:46.500 –> 00:50:55.530
Jason Mefford: As you read that there were certain things that stuck out to me, in particular, which is i’m sure why you felt like we need to read that right now.

368
00:50:56.010 –> 00:50:56.370
So.

369
00:50:57.450 –> 00:51:00.030
Jason Mefford: it’s I appreciate you.

370
00:51:01.620 –> 00:51:07.140
Jason Mefford: Coming on and talking about this, because you know again everybody that’s been listening.

371
00:51:08.160 –> 00:51:11.880
Jason Mefford: Go back and listen to this again, you know it’s one of those where.

372
00:51:14.070 –> 00:51:17.670
Jason Mefford: I tell you a lot what we’re talking about is not what we’re talking about.

373
00:51:19.140 –> 00:51:24.480
Jason Mefford: What you think we’re talking about but it’s not really what we’re talking about if you’re really paying attention.

374
00:51:25.320 –> 00:51:37.230
Jason Mefford: So you know yeah go back get to know yourself better treat yourself better give yourself more compassion show more compassion to other people around you.

375
00:51:38.520 –> 00:51:43.410
Jason Mefford: The world is changing and it’s going in a certain direction.

376
00:51:44.430 –> 00:51:48.930
Jason Mefford: You can choose to jump on board or you can keep fighting it.

377
00:51:50.130 –> 00:52:04.110
Jason Mefford: But it’s maybe time for you to start jumping on board, instead of trying to fight it because you know again kind of the picture that you painted there we were using that analogy a lot today.

378
00:52:05.520 –> 00:52:26.970
Jason Mefford: of what the future will be is fabulous it is what I think people want and you know, for that change to happen it takes all of us to do our little piece right how you change the world as one person at a time.

379
00:52:28.080 –> 00:52:36.840
Jason Mefford: And you change yourself, you change the world around you right so there’s the bigger key to everything as well, so.

380
00:52:38.700 –> 00:52:39.270
Jason Mefford: Thank you.

381
00:52:41.280 –> 00:52:43.230
Jason Mefford: For sharing with us today.

382
00:52:44.100 –> 00:52:46.800
Stefanie Elias: Thank you for allowing me i’m honored.

383
00:52:47.580 –> 00:52:48.840
Jason Mefford: Well you’re very welcome, thank you.

In this #jammingwithjason #podcast episode we are talking tools, and even Tim “the Tool Man” Taylor from Home Improvement would be proud of all the tool references.

But the tools you need to be successful now are not circular saws, hammers, or screwdrivers. They are the mental, emotional, and even spiritual tools to help you navigate the ups and downs of life and keep you from experiencing the fear, anxiety and stress so many people feel since they don’t have these tools in their tool box.

If you are an audit leader, you should seriously consider joining the Audit Leader Forum, so you have access to tools of the trade to help you in any challenging situation. The ONLY program to give you the tools to become a successful, confident leader for a modern audit team. Learn more at: https://bit.ly/AuditLeader

Listen in at: http://www.jasonmefford.com/jammingwithjason231/

Transcript

1
00:00:03.240 –> 00:00:08.460
Jason Mefford: Well, today we’re going to be talking about tools.

2
00:00:09.960 –> 00:00:21.720
Jason Mefford: tools and just like TIM the tool man Taylor from home improvement, he would be so proud of all the tools that we are going to incorporate today in our discussion.

3
00:00:22.470 –> 00:00:29.640
Jason Mefford: You know, because, whether you realize it or not, there’s a lot of tools that we need to be successful in life.

4
00:00:30.180 –> 00:00:50.910
Jason Mefford: And the problem is they aren’t hammers and screwdrivers typically there are other tools that you may not even know exist, but there are tools that you need so that’s why we’re going to talk about them today on this episode so with that let’s get going.

5
00:00:53.940 –> 00:01:01.320
Jason Mefford: All right, well, as I said, to begin with today we’re going to talk a little bit about tools Okay, so a.

6
00:01:02.370 –> 00:01:15.420
Jason Mefford: little bit about me my my father actually was a general contractor and so you know when I was about eight years old, we it was late 70s, we had you know.

7
00:01:16.140 –> 00:01:23.970
Jason Mefford: The crisis here in the United States when it came to building and in so my mother actually had to go back to work.

8
00:01:24.900 –> 00:01:33.840
Jason Mefford: So when I was little started about eight eight years old, my father used to take me to work with him during anytime that we had.

9
00:01:34.530 –> 00:01:50.820
Jason Mefford: You know Christmas break school breaks over the summer, he myself and my little brother used to go with my dad to work and so from a very early age, I hung out on construction sites.

10
00:01:51.870 –> 00:01:58.380
Jason Mefford: And, as a result of that I learned how to build houses and can pretty much build anything I want to now.

11
00:01:59.550 –> 00:02:05.430
Jason Mefford: Thank you dad for all of that, for that learning, but as part of it, you know I learned.

12
00:02:06.840 –> 00:02:19.050
Jason Mefford: an appreciation of the tools and what the different tools actually did and which ones were good for certain things and which ones weren’t so good for those things.

13
00:02:20.040 –> 00:02:29.280
Jason Mefford: So, today I want to get in and talk a little bit more about this because, as I said, there may be some tools that you’re not even aware exist.

14
00:02:29.700 –> 00:02:41.640
Jason Mefford: That are exactly the tools, you need, at whatever challenges, you may be dealing with right now, now, to start with, you know kind of the the genesis of this particular episode.

15
00:02:42.960 –> 00:02:47.160
Jason Mefford: was an experience that I had here is about a month month or so ago.

16
00:02:48.270 –> 00:03:00.810
Jason Mefford: So my wife ends up going to a doctor’s appointment, so you know she takes her car drives over to the doctor parks in the parking garage goes into her appointment.

17
00:03:01.500 –> 00:03:07.770
Jason Mefford: And then comes out and tries to start the car and it just is flashing lights and has this weird sound.

18
00:03:08.370 –> 00:03:14.040
Jason Mefford: So you know she’s obviously a little disturbed that the car won’t start.

19
00:03:14.520 –> 00:03:24.420
Jason Mefford: And so here I am you know working at home and I get a phone call frantic phone call from my wife and says, you know the car is making a really weird noise and it’s not starting.

20
00:03:25.230 –> 00:03:34.500
Jason Mefford: So I said okay well you know try starting it now let’s let me, let me hear what it’s doing so I could try to figure out what it was.

21
00:03:35.370 –> 00:03:50.610
Jason Mefford: So she put she put me on speaker and she went to try to start the car, you know the the brake pedal wouldn’t really push down when she pushed the button, to try to start the car, there were just a bunch of flashing lights on the dash and it kind of went.

22
00:03:52.350 –> 00:04:07.260
Jason Mefford: kind of thing wouldn’t turn over so knowing enough about cars and having enough cars over my life I pretty much knew on the phone it was probably a dead battery now, knowing that she was parking in a parking garage.

23
00:04:08.550 –> 00:04:14.310
Jason Mefford: I knew that I probably wasn’t going to in knowing again that the battery was probably.

24
00:04:14.940 –> 00:04:30.000
Jason Mefford: on its last leg it had been in three years or four years since we’ve replaced the battery that that’s probably what the issue was so you know, in my mind here I am trying to think about what are the different tools i’m gonna need if this is a dead battery.

25
00:04:31.050 –> 00:04:40.470
Jason Mefford: So I get in the car, you know I grabbed my tool bag grab the jumper cables as well get in the car, drive over to the doctor’s office.

26
00:04:40.950 –> 00:04:49.200
Jason Mefford: And when I get there, I look at it sure enough looks like a dead battery now where she had parked the car, you know, in the garage it was up next to the edge.

27
00:04:49.650 –> 00:04:54.780
Jason Mefford: And there were cars parked on either side, so we couldn’t get in there to be able to jump the car.

28
00:04:55.350 –> 00:05:03.540
Jason Mefford: So I knew, you know it’s probably just time for us to go down to the store buy a new battery so we leave we go down, we get the battery.

29
00:05:04.440 –> 00:05:13.380
Jason Mefford: We come back to the parking garage I pull out my tool bag, which I had and took it up to start doing the work on the car to replace the battery.

30
00:05:14.040 –> 00:05:19.590
Jason Mefford: Now i’ve got a little tool bag that I use all the time because, again, I told you, I grew up on a construction site.

31
00:05:20.280 –> 00:05:27.030
Jason Mefford: So people have me do little things right when I go over to to the family members homes, especially like my mother in law.

32
00:05:27.990 –> 00:05:38.910
Jason Mefford: Often there’s little jobs that Jason needs to do right So if I know that there’s jobs and my mother in law wants me to do I grabbed my little tool bag, I have a smaller tool bag with.

33
00:05:39.300 –> 00:05:50.580
Jason Mefford: Certain tools that you would use most of the time so things like you know, a hammer and different kinds of screwdrivers and different kinds of pliers and wrenches.

34
00:05:51.360 –> 00:06:02.550
Jason Mefford: You know Allen wrenches crescent wrenches slip joint you know wire cutters site edge, you know some different things like that so again i’m trying i’m trying to throw out as.

35
00:06:03.270 –> 00:06:17.370
Jason Mefford: Many tool names, as I can during this episode as well, so we’ll see how many I can get in if somebody’s counting let me know how many actually get in so I pull out my my normal tool bag that I carry around I get I get there.

36
00:06:18.810 –> 00:06:28.110
Jason Mefford: And I have no problem, you know, it was a little bit clunky, but I could use one of the wrenches to take off the the battery posts that were you know connected with the battery.

37
00:06:28.890 –> 00:06:42.630
Jason Mefford: But then there’s a bracket that went over the top of the battery and so you know the one the one nut I was able to take off pretty easily, but the way that the bracket was worked the the one bowl was kind of recessed down.

38
00:06:43.860 –> 00:06:50.670
Jason Mefford: To where I couldn’t easily get to it with one of the regular wrenches that I normally carry in my bag.

39
00:06:51.630 –> 00:07:02.580
Jason Mefford: So I tried, I tried for a little while it wasn’t working I knew it wasn’t going to work, I still tried a little bit more okay does this sound familiar for other things you might be doing in your life.

40
00:07:03.780 –> 00:07:12.660
Jason Mefford: And in realize that look i’m going to have to run back home and get my socket set, which is a specific type of tool.

41
00:07:13.200 –> 00:07:25.110
Jason Mefford: That would allow me to be able to get down inside kind of where I needed to go to be able to undo the last bolt so my tool bag wasn’t enough, I had to go home.

42
00:07:26.100 –> 00:07:33.540
Jason Mefford: dig through the garage for my socket set because again socket set is not something that I normally would use.

43
00:07:34.350 –> 00:07:50.760
Jason Mefford: Because I it’s not a normal tool, but it is a tool that is very helpful in specific applications okay and that’s that’s the way it is a lot of times with tools right certain tools are better at doing certain jobs.

44
00:07:51.810 –> 00:08:05.490
Jason Mefford: So I get back got my socket set Sure enough, you know very quickly, was able to take out the last bolt end up replacing it and you know started the car my wife was Okay, we both came back home.

45
00:08:06.030 –> 00:08:15.600
Jason Mefford: And you know, as I, as I thought about that again, you know i’ve how true is this in our life anyway right, where there are certain tools that we tend to use a lot of the time.

46
00:08:16.350 –> 00:08:23.730
Jason Mefford: And there’s other tools that maybe we don’t use that often or maybe we only need in one particular instance.

47
00:08:24.180 –> 00:08:38.700
Jason Mefford: And so we have to go out and buy it right to be able to do the job that we need to do without that sockets had I wouldn’t have been able to get that battery changed and get the arm off of off of the battery so.

48
00:08:40.560 –> 00:08:49.320
Jason Mefford: You know, as i’m as i’m thinking about it, and then in the thing, as I mentioned to you a little bit before is you know a lot of the tools that we need in our life.

49
00:08:49.980 –> 00:09:05.910
Jason Mefford: are not necessarily the things like hammers and screwdrivers and socket sense but there’s other tools some things like emotional mental and even spiritual tools that we need to be able to help us get by now.

50
00:09:07.260 –> 00:09:26.130
Jason Mefford: yeah let’s go back to when when I was you know, a young child on little slave Labor slave child Labor as as it goes from my father, you know when I was little now, when I was eight years old, you know I couldn’t really help a lot on the construction site.

51
00:09:27.300 –> 00:09:35.370
Jason Mefford: I wasn’t strong enough to be able to pick up and carry and hold the nail gun and and shoot the nails out of the nail gun.

52
00:09:36.060 –> 00:09:47.940
Jason Mefford: I wasn’t strong enough to be able to lift up the walls or be able to carry a lot of things, and so my dad found you know ways for me to be able to help out.

53
00:09:48.630 –> 00:09:58.950
Jason Mefford: And one of those was you know when he and my brother were working to have me go and get tools that they needed.

54
00:09:59.520 –> 00:10:11.880
Jason Mefford: So if you’re familiar with construction usually you know you were a tool belt, because there are certain tools that when you are are doing construction in in this instance we were doing a lot of framing.

55
00:10:12.510 –> 00:10:20.820
Jason Mefford: So framing construction we’re building the walls, putting on the sighting you know building the floor and the roof, and things like that, on a house.

56
00:10:22.110 –> 00:10:33.810
Jason Mefford: There are certain tools that you would normally have in your tool bag because they’re things you use all the time, so things like a hammer, and you know, a utility knife a pencil.

57
00:10:34.470 –> 00:10:39.780
Jason Mefford: what’s called a square you know because we’d have to draw straight lines to be able to cut cut wood.

58
00:10:40.620 –> 00:10:48.720
Jason Mefford: A chalk line is another one of the tools that we usually have with us, usually suppliers are what we call side cuts.

59
00:10:49.200 –> 00:10:58.350
Jason Mefford: They were kind of wire cutter things that we could use for a lot of different things to help pull out nails and do other things like that something like a nail punch.

60
00:10:59.130 –> 00:11:08.040
Jason Mefford: Especially if you’re using or doing finished work to be able to reset or recess the the nails a little bit when you’re doing finished work and oh.

61
00:11:08.640 –> 00:11:18.060
Jason Mefford: And so there were lots of different things that we would normally have in our tool pouch that we would carry on our bodies so that way that those tools.

62
00:11:18.540 –> 00:11:27.360
Jason Mefford: were always close to us whenever we needed them, but you know, sometimes my brother my dad might be up on a ladder or up on scaffolding or on a roof.

63
00:11:27.990 –> 00:11:47.520
Jason Mefford: and realize, there was a different tool that they actually need it so one of the things that I learned to begin with, was the name of the different tools, so my brother cliff would you know holler down from the scaffolding Jason I need you to go get the two foot square okay.

64
00:11:48.750 –> 00:11:59.790
Jason Mefford: what’s the two foot square right, so I had to learn what it was what it was used for and actually where it was at in in the pickup truck.

65
00:12:00.450 –> 00:12:16.080
Jason Mefford: Because you know at first I didn’t know where some of these things were I didn’t know how to use them, but over time right as I got used to the names used to what these different things do and where they were located.

66
00:12:16.950 –> 00:12:23.880
Jason Mefford: I was able to actually go and get those tools and bring them back to my dad and to my brother.

67
00:12:24.270 –> 00:12:39.270
Jason Mefford: Now, again, as I, as I got older and older I could do more and more things they would teach me how to use these tools and know which tools, were the best ones to use in different situations and so over time, I mean that came through.

68
00:12:40.380 –> 00:12:56.640
Jason Mefford: practice and actually using the tools and it’s that way with any tool in our life right you can’t just go buy a tool never use it and and expect to get the benefit from it.

69
00:12:57.270 –> 00:13:05.490
Jason Mefford: So again, you know I know we’ve been talking about a lot of different tools, but what we’re really talking about are some of the tools of the trade.

70
00:13:05.880 –> 00:13:21.300
Jason Mefford: That you might need as well Okay, and, as I told you before, there are some things that are emotional maybe mental even spiritual tools for you to be able to help you navigate through life.

71
00:13:22.140 –> 00:13:27.960
Jason Mefford: And so i’m just going to go through, and I i’ve talked about a lot of different tools that we might use on the job site.

72
00:13:29.550 –> 00:13:35.850
Jason Mefford: And maybe i’ll share one more story before I get into that because it’s it’s another important concept which is.

73
00:13:36.480 –> 00:13:42.990
Jason Mefford: I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the term that everything looks like a nail to a hammer.

74
00:13:43.620 –> 00:13:56.070
Jason Mefford: everything looks like a nail to a hammer, in fact, you might have heard me say that, before that is it’s it’s a colloquialism that really means hey if i’m a hammer, or if I have a hammer.

75
00:13:56.520 –> 00:14:02.340
Jason Mefford: i’m going to try to do everything I can with that hammer because that happens to be what I have right.

76
00:14:03.000 –> 00:14:10.470
Jason Mefford: And so, one of the guys that used to work for my dad he would he was the person that would do what’s called finished finished concrete work.

77
00:14:11.310 –> 00:14:25.260
Jason Mefford: So driveways sidewalks things like that he would be the one that would pour the concrete in and then he would use trowels to be able to make it smooth and Nice and put all the joints and everything in it.

78
00:14:26.040 –> 00:14:36.420
Jason Mefford: And so you know for don as the contractor or as the concrete guy he had certain tools, like the trials and different things that he would use shovels.

79
00:14:36.810 –> 00:14:42.690
Jason Mefford: And things like that, but from what we would normally have in our tool belt he didn’t have very much he had a hammer.

80
00:14:43.140 –> 00:14:52.290
Jason Mefford: And he had nails right and that was about it because he had to make these make forms right to be able to make sure that the concrete stays within the wooden area.

81
00:14:52.830 –> 00:15:00.300
Jason Mefford: That he wants it to stay in, and I remember don telling me when I was when I was a little kid because we always used to laugh.

82
00:15:02.250 –> 00:15:12.090
Jason Mefford: laugh laugh with him Okay, because we love Don, but my dad always one of the jokes that he always used to say was don could cut circles, with the circular saw.

83
00:15:12.690 –> 00:15:25.230
Jason Mefford: So if you know what a circular size skill saw it’s it’s not intended to cut curvy lines it’s intended to cut straight lines but don would always make his lines really curvy and don’t know how he quite did it with it.

84
00:15:26.010 –> 00:15:35.130
Jason Mefford: But anyway, I remember him telling me it was funny because he was you know I especially when I was young, I used to sit and watch some of the other trades people.

85
00:15:35.700 –> 00:15:46.410
Jason Mefford: On the job site and watch what they do and I used to love watching dawn because the the the artistry of how you do the concrete just was fascinating is still fascinating to me.

86
00:15:47.130 –> 00:15:57.300
Jason Mefford: And I remember watching him one time putting together some forms and and so he was reaching into his pouch and he was pulling out nails and nailing a man with his hammer.

87
00:15:57.720 –> 00:16:15.240
Jason Mefford: And he ended up pulling out a screw and he looked at it and he can be reached over and he put it on the wood and he pounded in the screw with this hammer and then he looked at me and he said screws or screws are meant to be put in with hammers and taken out with screwed.

88
00:16:16.890 –> 00:16:23.100
Jason Mefford: it’s always thought that was funny again for those of you that are familiar with construction you’ll get a kick out of that as well.

89
00:16:23.790 –> 00:16:31.830
Jason Mefford: But you know to don like I said, even something like a screw he would just use a hammer to put in, and you know how many times in life.

90
00:16:32.760 –> 00:16:45.990
Jason Mefford: Do we try to just use the tool that we currently have, and it may not be the best tool but we’re just like don we’re trying to pound that screw in with a hammer.

91
00:16:46.440 –> 00:16:57.240
Jason Mefford: and, believe me, it takes a lot more power to try to get a screw to go through wood, with a hammer than it does with a screwdriver or with the drill okay.

92
00:16:57.660 –> 00:17:07.380
Jason Mefford: And so, but how much of how much of the time in life are we actually you know either not effective, like I wasn’t effective in using my.

93
00:17:07.770 –> 00:17:15.960
Jason Mefford: My crescent wrench to be able to take off that screw that bolt on the car I needed the socket set in order to get it done.

94
00:17:16.560 –> 00:17:32.460
Jason Mefford: or like don trying to pound those screws in with the hammer instead of actually using a screwdriver so how much of the time, do we do that and it’s it’s it’s exhausting for us it usually adds more stress to our life.

95
00:17:33.810 –> 00:17:40.200
Jason Mefford: And the reason is that we don’t have the other tool, or we don’t know how to use the other tool okay.

96
00:17:40.620 –> 00:17:47.520
Jason Mefford: So what I wanted to do here is actually share some of these different tools and again, you might have heard me talk about some of these before.

97
00:17:48.240 –> 00:17:58.050
Jason Mefford: But you know, whatever you do you really need to start learning about these other things and start incorporating some of these tools into your life.

98
00:17:58.410 –> 00:18:10.500
Jason Mefford: Now, whether you learn them for me here on the podcast or in any of the courses or programs that I run where I actually show people how to use these and bring them into their life.

99
00:18:11.250 –> 00:18:19.860
Jason Mefford: It doesn’t matter you know but but decide that you’re going to get some of these tools, so let me, let me talk about some other.

100
00:18:20.820 –> 00:18:31.680
Jason Mefford: One would kind of be an emotional tool is around breathing okay something as simple as breathing you know it’s something you do every single day.

101
00:18:32.040 –> 00:18:46.410
Jason Mefford: you’re doing it right now, or you’d be passed out on the ground right but it’s something that, because it is so unconscious that we end up doing and we don’t realize they’re actually ways to breathe.

102
00:18:46.980 –> 00:19:06.090
Jason Mefford: That act as tools that can help us in our life so today, I was talking to somebody in one of my programs and and we were talking about you know some of the things that she was doing and what she had learned and she said, you know, I was at the dentist last week.

103
00:19:07.260 –> 00:19:16.290
Jason Mefford: And you can see where this is going right because nobody likes to go to the dentist that I know right because usually means you know getting.

104
00:19:16.980 –> 00:19:27.570
Jason Mefford: You know, having people in your mouth first off right and then usually sharp objects in your mouth as well, and so, when people go to the doctor or go to the dentist.

105
00:19:28.110 –> 00:19:37.050
Jason Mefford: they’re usually very anxious about going to the doctor so emotionally they’re in a place where they don’t want to be, they want to be more.

106
00:19:38.550 –> 00:19:51.870
Jason Mefford: You know relaxed, but instead they have this anxiety and fear about what they’re going to be experiencing when they go to the dentist’s Office now, especially if you, you know, have a cavity or something like that.

107
00:19:52.560 –> 00:20:03.000
Jason Mefford: And so, she said, you know, last week, when I when I went to the dentist and I was sitting there in the chair and I started to feel myself get anxious.

108
00:20:03.450 –> 00:20:11.910
Jason Mefford: I remembered the breathing exercises that you taught me how to do, and so I started using them to breathe right.

109
00:20:12.420 –> 00:20:25.860
Jason Mefford: because she could see herself getting anxious and knew that one of the emotional tools, if you want to call it is learning how to breathe in a different way.

110
00:20:26.400 –> 00:20:40.830
Jason Mefford: To help you go from being anxious to being relaxed Okay, and so again, that was something that was a tool that she’s picked up over over time and she’s putting it into practice.

111
00:20:41.580 –> 00:20:54.030
Jason Mefford: And by doing that right she’s able to go from anxiety to feeling peaceful or much more relaxed when she was in the dentist chair.

112
00:20:54.600 –> 00:21:01.470
Jason Mefford: Now, are there ever times in your life when you feel a little anxious and you’d rather not feel anxious.

113
00:21:01.890 –> 00:21:15.120
Jason Mefford: Well, did you know that there’s a tool that you can use and there’s different ways of breathing that you can use to be able to help get you into that emotional state where you want to be.

114
00:21:15.720 –> 00:21:25.590
Jason Mefford: that’s just an example of one of the tools it’s probably pretty important for you to learn how to use now another one that you’ve.

115
00:21:27.180 –> 00:21:35.730
Jason Mefford: might have heard me talk about here or, on the other, fire and earth podcasts that I have with Cathy river is self hypnosis.

116
00:21:36.570 –> 00:21:47.910
Jason Mefford: You know, because a lot of times, again, there are certain things in our life that we would like to change and we just feel like we can’t change them right there’s just something.

117
00:21:48.330 –> 00:21:58.980
Jason Mefford: That is up that is making it hard for us to change well chances are you’ve probably been programmed that way.

118
00:21:59.490 –> 00:22:08.550
Jason Mefford: So, if you think about our brain our human brain is very much like a computer and so as we experience different things in our life.

119
00:22:09.480 –> 00:22:24.870
Jason Mefford: Our brain gets programmed, just like a computer gets programmed to do certain things now, if you want to change the program you have to go in and re Code, the program right.

120
00:22:25.590 –> 00:22:38.580
Jason Mefford: Now you can try to do that with willpower but it doesn’t work, you can try to you know do talk therapy and some other stuff it doesn’t work, as well as going in and re programming the code.

121
00:22:39.030 –> 00:22:49.500
Jason Mefford: Right so some of you are going to be in it, you understand this right if if a program has certain code in it and you want the program to do something different.

122
00:22:50.010 –> 00:23:04.320
Jason Mefford: You have to change the programming in the software, so you would go in you delete certain things you’d write new code, so that the computer will now do what you want it to do.

123
00:23:05.280 –> 00:23:12.090
Jason Mefford: Right in fact i’m one of those nerdy guys that grew up with computers were not not as computers were coming out but as.

124
00:23:12.600 –> 00:23:29.580
Jason Mefford: As personal computers were starting to come around in the 80s and have I used to actually program and basic which happens to be a language that I don’t think anybody uses anymore, but I was so proud of myself every time that I could program the screen to flash different colors.

125
00:23:30.720 –> 00:23:33.300
Jason Mefford: Right I learned how to do that, I learned how to do that programming.

126
00:23:33.960 –> 00:23:49.620
Jason Mefford: Well, again in your life, maybe if there’s certain things that you’re not getting and you feel like you’re being held back chances are you need to change some of the programming in your brain, one of the ways that you can change the programming in your brain is through self hypnosis.

127
00:23:51.030 –> 00:23:58.980
Jason Mefford: may not have even realized that’s an option for you right but i’ve been using it in my life for years and i’ve seen great success.

128
00:23:59.430 –> 00:24:07.230
Jason Mefford: There people that I know have been using it, I know a lot of different hypnosis or hip hypnotist hypnotherapist.

129
00:24:07.860 –> 00:24:15.720
Jason Mefford: That use it, that has real, lasting impact to help people change their life right so again.

130
00:24:16.140 –> 00:24:22.470
Jason Mefford: That might be a tool that you don’t even know exists, and all of a sudden you’re like holy crap maybe that’s something that I need right.

131
00:24:23.070 –> 00:24:29.220
Jason Mefford: that’s an example of another kind of tool to be able to help help you in your life.

132
00:24:30.090 –> 00:24:41.010
Jason Mefford: Now one that’s maybe even a little bit more simple, you know to kind of talk about is how we use questions or how we actually are communicating right.

133
00:24:41.550 –> 00:24:52.650
Jason Mefford: And, and this is something again that I share with people on how to actually use certain questions to be able to get people to change their own mind.

134
00:24:53.280 –> 00:25:06.540
Jason Mefford: Instead of you trying to convince someone else because I don’t know if you’ve ever done this or not, if you’ve gotten into call it an argument or a heated exchange with someone.

135
00:25:07.080 –> 00:25:14.670
Jason Mefford: And you’re just trying to convince them to maybe see the world a different way, or to understand your perspective.

136
00:25:15.570 –> 00:25:25.530
Jason Mefford: And, most of us get taught, you know to kind of argue that’s usually the programming that we have seen that’s that’s what other people have done with us.

137
00:25:26.040 –> 00:25:37.680
Jason Mefford: that’s what we learn how to do and so over time that tends to be how we respond when those things or react usually more react when those things come up.

138
00:25:38.220 –> 00:25:48.420
Jason Mefford: Now, when we do that that’s just like don trying to use that hammer to hit in the screw right it’s not the most effective way to do it.

139
00:25:48.960 –> 00:26:01.170
Jason Mefford: And in fact instead using questions and learning how to communicate using questions is usually a much more effective way of doing it.

140
00:26:01.710 –> 00:26:11.280
Jason Mefford: But again it’s something that you have to learn it’s something that you know again there’s certain types of questions that are very good.

141
00:26:11.610 –> 00:26:21.990
Jason Mefford: there’s other questions that aren’t so good, and so you have to actually kind of learn, you know where to go with that, but you can literally use things like questions.

142
00:26:22.410 –> 00:26:39.270
Jason Mefford: As a way to get people to do things or not do things as well, or to change their mind right and again it’s these these are tools that you probably didn’t even exist or didn’t even realize exist.

143
00:26:40.950 –> 00:26:49.560
Jason Mefford: But they’re out there and there’s lots of other ones too right and so again, you know, one of the things that i’m trying to do here and and all the stuff that I do is.

144
00:26:50.130 –> 00:27:00.510
Jason Mefford: To give you the tools that will help you to be successful, you know I don’t want you over there, with only a tool bag, with one screwdriver and one hammer.

145
00:27:00.840 –> 00:27:09.930
Jason Mefford: and trying to go through your life just using one hammer and one screwdriver and thinking you’re going to be very effective in your life.

146
00:27:10.560 –> 00:27:18.270
Jason Mefford: If that’s all you have to work with you’re probably going to be pretty frustrated you’re going to be pretty stressed out you’re going to be feeling anxious.

147
00:27:18.660 –> 00:27:34.410
Jason Mefford: And, things are not necessarily going to go the way you want them to go life is going to be a lot harder than it needs to be right in fact and there’s some tools that are even better than others right, I still have manual screwdrivers.

148
00:27:35.550 –> 00:27:46.200
Jason Mefford: But i’ll tell you, if i’m trying to screw a three inch screw into wood it’s much more effective to use a power drill or a power driver.

149
00:27:46.860 –> 00:27:58.710
Jason Mefford: To be able to put that screw into the wood than it is for me to be sitting over there with my hand, you know, trying to twist my hand as i’m going through to put that screw into the wall.

150
00:27:59.190 –> 00:28:14.730
Jason Mefford: So you know again take a look at your life look at some of the areas where you know, again, maybe things aren’t going quite the way you want it to maybe all you need are some other tools to be able to help you be successful so again can’t.

151
00:28:15.870 –> 00:28:23.670
Jason Mefford: In the shorter format of a podcasts I can’t get through everything right now but i’m going to start talking more about some of these different tools.

152
00:28:24.360 –> 00:28:31.770
Jason Mefford: as well, to be able to help you because, like I said as I talked to people, a lot of people don’t realize that these things are out there.

153
00:28:32.460 –> 00:28:44.460
Jason Mefford: And they’re usually pretty simple they’re not necessarily easy Okay, because, again, the only way that you know we learn how to actually become proficient at using a tool.

154
00:28:44.850 –> 00:28:59.040
Jason Mefford: is to actually practice it and use it over and over again right I wouldn’t be able to play the guitar sitting behind me if I just bought it and set it there, and never actually picked it up and played.

155
00:28:59.520 –> 00:29:09.720
Jason Mefford: To try to make music as well right, so all right so with that again, as I told you at the beginning, Tim the tool man Taylor would be proud.

156
00:29:11.370 –> 00:29:17.880
Jason Mefford: I don’t know how many tools are referred to, but if you go back and listen to it again and count them all, and let me know i’ll send you something.

157
00:29:18.810 –> 00:29:28.950
Jason Mefford: About that so with that my friends, I am going to sign off for this episode and again just a reminder, you know use something simple like breathing.

158
00:29:29.610 –> 00:29:39.630
Jason Mefford: To be able to help you move from one emotional state to another, and with that i’ll catch you on the next episode of jamming with Jason see ya.

You probably already know how much harder it is now to be a leader. What used to work, doesn’t work so well now, and you may find yourself feeling more isolated, having difficult conversations with your peers and co-workers, and feeling a lot more stressed.

Chances are you may be still using traditional leader skills and haven’t switched yet to more effective modern skills.

In this #jammingwithjason #podcast episode we discuss some of the new skills you need to be successful in this brave new world of working remotely under a new workplace culture, so you don’t risk becoming a burned out dinosaur.

If you are an audit leader, you should seriously consider joining the Audit Leader Forum, so you have access to these modern skills. The ONLY program to give you the tools to become a successful, confident leader for a modern audit team. Learn more at: https://bit.ly/AuditLeader

Transcript

1
00:00:02.520 –> 00:00:14.009
Jason Mefford: Well, if you’re a leader i’m sure the last couple of years have probably been a little challenging because things are different now than they used to be.

2
00:00:14.670 –> 00:00:28.500
Jason Mefford: And so today we’re going to talk about some modern leader skills, some of those things that you need to be able to survive in this new reality that we have now in.

3
00:00:29.400 –> 00:00:38.370
Jason Mefford: In business in general right and and so we’re going to get in and talk a little bit more about that because i’m sure that you’ve probably seen.

4
00:00:38.850 –> 00:00:47.550
Jason Mefford: it’s a little bit more difficult to manage or lead people now and maybe a little bit more difficult even to lead or manage yourself.

5
00:00:48.060 –> 00:01:02.100
Jason Mefford: And so, in today’s episode we’re going to get in and talk more about some of those modern leader skills that you need to be successful in the future so with that let’s roll the episode.

6
00:01:06.510 –> 00:01:16.020
Jason Mefford: Alright, so I want to jump in and i’m just calling it modern leader skills, because I think you know as as we go through time.

7
00:01:16.830 –> 00:01:25.290
Jason Mefford: things change, you know and as somebody who is serious about your career i’m sure that you’re looking at it and saying, and you know what.

8
00:01:25.860 –> 00:01:42.420
Jason Mefford: I have certain challenges that I didn’t have a couple years ago, before we started working so much remotely and you know, maybe some of the relationships with people that you work with or that work, for you are maybe a little bit different than they were before.

9
00:01:43.620 –> 00:01:49.230
Jason Mefford: So I want to jump in and talk about there’s kind of four different areas that I want to go through and talk a little bit about today.

10
00:01:49.890 –> 00:01:59.790
Jason Mefford: To help you understand and give you some some guidance, or some tips on what some of these new skills are that will help you to be more successful.

11
00:02:00.720 –> 00:02:06.900
Jason Mefford: So i’m going to go through real quick and just kind of list them off and then we’ll get in and talk about each of these.

12
00:02:07.530 –> 00:02:22.950
Jason Mefford: So the first one is relationships versus transactions Okay, the next one is power vs force then we’re going to talk a little bit about internal versus external.

13
00:02:23.580 –> 00:02:33.480
Jason Mefford: And then we’re going to talk a little bit about influence versus manipulating okay now again so it’s it’s all unscripted and it’s just you and me talking.

14
00:02:33.990 –> 00:02:41.100
Jason Mefford: I might not go in that particular order but hey you’ve been listening to the podcast for long enough you already understand that right.

15
00:02:42.540 –> 00:02:50.820
Jason Mefford: So let’s jump in first and start talking about relationship versus transaction, so what I mean by this is, you know.

16
00:02:51.750 –> 00:03:04.500
Jason Mefford: A lot of people are we’re we’re we’re so focused on being productive Okay, on being productive doing as much as we can, being as efficient as possible.

17
00:03:05.220 –> 00:03:15.900
Jason Mefford: That we’re worried usually about checking things off of our list and so we’ve got a whole bunch of things that we need to do, and we just have to get through them really quick.

18
00:03:16.350 –> 00:03:30.270
Jason Mefford: Right i’m sure you can relate to that now, when we get into that mindset we start doing things transactional Lee instead of more on a relationship basis okay.

19
00:03:30.720 –> 00:03:37.500
Jason Mefford: And so again the advent of computers and, in fact, actually working from home or working remotely.

20
00:03:38.490 –> 00:03:46.650
Jason Mefford: Even increases the tendency for us to want to be more transactional in nature, so let me give you an example.

21
00:03:47.130 –> 00:03:56.430
Jason Mefford: it’s very quick and easy to send somebody a slack message or a text message today and just say hey get it done great.

22
00:03:57.090 –> 00:04:06.330
Jason Mefford: Thanks, you know very short little things to go along, because you know what we’re all busy and we’re trying to get as much stuff done as we can.

23
00:04:07.020 –> 00:04:19.470
Jason Mefford: Now I understand I get that right, but here’s the problem that comes from this when we start treating people like transactions.

24
00:04:20.130 –> 00:04:28.710
Jason Mefford: That doesn’t feel good right do you like to get treated like a transaction or, like a number, you know I feel like a number, if you see here.

25
00:04:29.490 –> 00:04:36.210
Jason Mefford: We don’t right we we prefer to actually have connection and relationships with other people.

26
00:04:36.990 –> 00:04:48.750
Jason Mefford: And so what do we need to do, different now right well, instead of just focusing on the transactions and trying to get as much work done as we can, as quickly as possible.

27
00:04:49.320 –> 00:04:58.110
Jason Mefford: We need to spend more time actually developing and having that connection and relationship with other people.

28
00:04:58.680 –> 00:05:07.350
Jason Mefford: So you can call it relationship leadership, if you want to or whatever, but the idea is you know what the people that you’re working with.

29
00:05:07.740 –> 00:05:14.580
Jason Mefford: Or that are working for you need to actually feel like you have a relationship with them.

30
00:05:15.420 –> 00:05:23.850
Jason Mefford: Now i’m sure that you can imagine, you know if you’re in a in a romantic relationship, you have a partner husband wife, whatever.

31
00:05:24.480 –> 00:05:43.710
Jason Mefford: Imagine if you treated that relationship like you treat a lot of your work relationships okay so again imagine that you know you’ve got you’ve got two partners and they’re together hey you’re going to make dinner tonight yep, what do you make it i’m making this oh thanks.

32
00:05:44.970 –> 00:05:46.650
Jason Mefford: That didn’t go over so good right.

33
00:05:47.730 –> 00:05:53.160
Jason Mefford: And you can see how now again, I mean some people, that is how their relationships are set up.

34
00:05:54.390 –> 00:05:59.730
Jason Mefford: But people with relationships like that usually have some relationship problems right.

35
00:06:00.270 –> 00:06:11.340
Jason Mefford: And so we need to actually spend time and invest in those relationships, you know, sometimes it means we actually just need to chit chat for a few minutes before we get down to business.

36
00:06:11.820 –> 00:06:20.400
Jason Mefford: You know how are you doing you know hey I noticed this picture on your wall, I really like that picture you know, is there a story behind it, that you can tell me.

37
00:06:21.270 –> 00:06:32.220
Jason Mefford: You know anything that we can do to start learning a little bit more about the person, on the other side of the screen, those are things that are so important now.

38
00:06:33.240 –> 00:06:43.860
Jason Mefford: Why because, again, the more that we are isolated, the more that all of us as humans are craving that connection we’re craving connection with other people.

39
00:06:44.190 –> 00:06:57.360
Jason Mefford: And the fact that we have been so isolated is actually causing a lot of mental health problems with people in fact I was talking to somebody just today about this and about how alone, she feels.

40
00:06:58.260 –> 00:07:06.360
Jason Mefford: You know, and all of the mental stresses that she’s feeling and that others have her peers that she’s talking to are feeling as well right.

41
00:07:06.930 –> 00:07:16.050
Jason Mefford: Why well probably again because a lot of people are going through the motions they’re doing the transactions they’re not actually connecting.

42
00:07:16.710 –> 00:07:26.760
Jason Mefford: with other people and so again when we focus on that area we we don’t have that greater relationships and so when things come up when there are problems.

43
00:07:27.180 –> 00:07:35.040
Jason Mefford: We typically have relationship problems and so i’ll give you another example I was talking with a leader, a couple months ago.

44
00:07:35.580 –> 00:07:42.000
Jason Mefford: And we were talking about this person had a particular employee that they were having some issues with.

45
00:07:42.630 –> 00:07:50.610
Jason Mefford: And as we got into talking about what was going on a little bit more about this person about the things that had been happening.

46
00:07:51.060 –> 00:07:57.780
Jason Mefford: All of a sudden, I stopped, and I said, you know what you don’t have an employee problem you have a relationship problem.

47
00:07:58.290 –> 00:08:06.810
Jason Mefford: And that really caught this leader off and they’re like What do you mean well because they had not done some of the things that they needed to do.

48
00:08:07.350 –> 00:08:12.870
Jason Mefford: To be able to help develop the relationship they didn’t have a good relationship with this other person.

49
00:08:13.350 –> 00:08:23.550
Jason Mefford: And so the person was worried about they didn’t know what to do, they were taking things the wrong way because they didn’t really know or have a connection with that leader.

50
00:08:24.390 –> 00:08:33.510
Jason Mefford: So what we can do different one of the things that you have to do if you want to be more modern and i’m guessing you want to be more modern right you don’t want to be like an old, traditional stick in the mud.

51
00:08:34.230 –> 00:08:43.470
Jason Mefford: One of the things that you’re going to need to start to do is start to treat people like people and actually have real relationships with them.

52
00:08:44.040 –> 00:09:01.740
Jason Mefford: Now again i’ve already given you a little tip on that it can be as simple as asking a little bit about them getting to know them a little bit more don’t be all about business but actually bring in some of that human nature, you know if you’re sitting here watching the video with me.

53
00:09:03.210 –> 00:09:10.650
Jason Mefford: there’s lots of things in the background of my office that you could ask me about right hey Jason I see you have a guitar there.

54
00:09:11.040 –> 00:09:15.930
Jason Mefford: Do you play well, of course I play, because I have a guitar sitting there right.

55
00:09:16.500 –> 00:09:27.930
Jason Mefford: Now, because I have a guitar sitting there you also know, it must be important to me if I have it sitting within arm’s range of my office chair right.

56
00:09:28.500 –> 00:09:40.410
Jason Mefford: So already you can start to develop a connection with me and we can start to talk about music right and that shows me that you actually care about me.

57
00:09:40.920 –> 00:10:00.540
Jason Mefford: And when we know that other people care about us as human beings, and are not just treating us like a transaction things change significantly okay so that’s one of the things you know, again, as you think about some of these more modern skills and things that we need to do.

58
00:10:01.620 –> 00:10:13.680
Jason Mefford: One of the areas that we need to work on and like I said it’s it’s especially true if you’re working remotely that you have to be much more intentional about actually doing some of these things okay.

59
00:10:14.160 –> 00:10:24.720
Jason Mefford: So the next one let’s talk about power vs force now again those two words might seem very similar but they’re actually quite different.

60
00:10:26.190 –> 00:10:39.300
Jason Mefford: Now, as someone, you know as a leader, you have certain power, but you know just because of the position that you happen to be in okay you’re you’re the person who determines how much money somebody gets paid.

61
00:10:39.810 –> 00:10:50.190
Jason Mefford: That gives you some power in that relationship, but the real thing the difference between power vs force is how you use it okay.

62
00:10:50.700 –> 00:10:59.460
Jason Mefford: And a lot of times when people think they’re being powerful what they’re actually doing is they’re using force, instead of power.

63
00:11:00.030 –> 00:11:13.680
Jason Mefford: So what does that look like well again if i’m the boss, and I just tell you look Jason you got to do this if you don’t do this this isn’t going to be good for you, if you don’t do it i’m gonna fire you.

64
00:11:14.310 –> 00:11:24.180
Jason Mefford: that’s using force, instead of using power okay and and this this next concept around internal versus external.

65
00:11:24.600 –> 00:11:34.920
Jason Mefford: that’s really where the power comes in okay and you’ve probably heard me talk about this before and that’s fine you might be saying I already know this well if you already know it.

66
00:11:35.760 –> 00:11:44.910
Jason Mefford: Are you actually doing it, and if the answer is no, then pay you better listen again right that’s why you hear me repeat myself, so much so, the time.

67
00:11:45.870 –> 00:11:56.070
Jason Mefford: So what’s the difference between internal versus external power that is where your power is derived or comes from OK.

68
00:11:56.460 –> 00:12:07.710
Jason Mefford: So again, if i’m the boss, if I have a title, if you report to me that gives me external power, I have a title I make more money than you do.

69
00:12:08.250 –> 00:12:29.190
Jason Mefford: Therefore, I have external power if I wear a uniform if we were in the military and I was a general and you were a captain, I would have external power over you, but what i’ll ask you is just because somebody has external power do you actually listen to what they say.

70
00:12:30.210 –> 00:12:47.970
Jason Mefford: You might you might not it depends on the type of person that you are, but one thing that we’re starting to see more and more of his people don’t give a damn about your external power I don’t give a damn about your external power by providing burn burn burn.

71
00:12:49.440 –> 00:12:49.650
Jason Mefford: well.

72
00:12:51.630 –> 00:12:54.390
Jason Mefford: Enough I do a little Joan jett there about bad reputation.

73
00:12:55.560 –> 00:13:14.100
Jason Mefford: But people don’t care people don’t respect you just because you have a position of power now that’s something that has changed in the last few years, you know, in the past, we used to defer to people just because of who they were because of the the external power that they have.

74
00:13:15.270 –> 00:13:23.640
Jason Mefford: we’re not seeing that anymore, and so you know you can’t rely on saying things like i’m the boss, so you have to do what I say.

75
00:13:24.210 –> 00:13:40.500
Jason Mefford: that’s not a good enough reason anymore, and again, especially if people are not in the office and you don’t have your finger on them, and you can glare at them across the room you’ve lost all of that external power, plus it’s really not the best place to be focusing anyway.

76
00:13:41.520 –> 00:13:55.710
Jason Mefford: Instead, internal power is the power that exudes from yourself people give you power because of who you are being not your title So what does that mean.

77
00:13:56.280 –> 00:14:10.320
Jason Mefford: Well, again, the way that I kind of you know, show or try to contrast the difference between external versus internal power imagine someone who is a third world dictator.

78
00:14:11.070 –> 00:14:20.430
Jason Mefford: That person has external power that usually wear a military suit they might have people with guns around them right, that is.

79
00:14:21.630 –> 00:14:31.260
Jason Mefford: an outward of external power internal power would be someone like a monk or a Mother Teresa or a Gandhi or somebody like that who.

80
00:14:31.800 –> 00:14:49.560
Jason Mefford: People respect and give power to or deference to because of who that person is being because that person serves because that person loves because that person has integrity and what they say and and what they do.

81
00:14:50.880 –> 00:15:02.310
Jason Mefford: People by default end up giving those people power or allow that power to be used in order to influence and get them to do things okay.

82
00:15:02.670 –> 00:15:16.740
Jason Mefford: And again that’s the kind of power that we need to have and need to show as leaders today and it all comes back to us on how we are being okay.

83
00:15:17.310 –> 00:15:29.250
Jason Mefford: And that’s why to really be a successful or modern leader, today, you really got to take care of your own ship folks Okay, because the world reflects back what you are doing.

84
00:15:30.780 –> 00:15:42.660
Jason Mefford: And so that’s why you know I teach in my programs I try to espouse here on the podcast as well that whatever you do worry about taking care of and developing yourself.

85
00:15:43.230 –> 00:15:57.300
Jason Mefford: Because you know the the more integral you can be the more you can you know, make sure that you are the best person that you can be, and that you are showing up and being that person all of the time.

86
00:15:57.870 –> 00:16:11.310
Jason Mefford: That is what people want to follow okay that’s a difference between a leader that people want to follow and love versus a leader who people kind of go along with because they have to.

87
00:16:12.030 –> 00:16:28.440
Jason Mefford: So again, let me ask you do you want to be that kind of leader who people love and want to follow, or do you want to be that asshole leader that people go along with because they have to and the minute that you turn your back they’re going a different way.

88
00:16:29.490 –> 00:16:39.450
Jason Mefford: that’s what i’m talking about and i’m hoping that again that you can see the difference between what’s going on there, so that’s it’s it’s an important thing that you really half.

89
00:16:40.050 –> 00:16:50.280
Jason Mefford: Half half to get through your mind Okay, people will not follow you people will not do things just because of a title that you have.

90
00:16:50.910 –> 00:17:00.720
Jason Mefford: or just because they’re your their boss it just doesn’t happen anymore okay so focus more on that now the last one is around influencing versus manipulating.

91
00:17:01.560 –> 00:17:10.980
Jason Mefford: And you know again Bob chill Dini, has a great book called influence got another one called pre suasion great reads for you to go take a look at.

92
00:17:12.180 –> 00:17:20.880
Jason Mefford: And i’ve incorporated some you know some of his information into what I teach people because it’s good it’s scientifically backed on.

93
00:17:21.330 –> 00:17:35.160
Jason Mefford: You know why do people go along Why do people get influenced by other people right, and in fact there’s six things there’s liking reciprocity consensus authority, consistency and scarcity.

94
00:17:35.760 –> 00:17:42.180
Jason Mefford: That, are some of the pillars of influence and i’ve talked about them here before i’m not going to get into all.

95
00:17:42.870 –> 00:17:52.530
Jason Mefford: Today, but there’s some acts of there’s some ways there’s some skills in how you can use those different principles.

96
00:17:53.340 –> 00:18:00.180
Jason Mefford: to actually be able to influence people now Why am I talking about the difference between influence versus manipulation.

97
00:18:00.750 –> 00:18:09.960
Jason Mefford: Well, because historically, especially in corporate America there has been a command and control type of mentality which is.

98
00:18:10.410 –> 00:18:18.990
Jason Mefford: Getting kind of like you talked about before with the external power i’m the boss i’m the one that decides you just have to do what i’m gonna say.

99
00:18:19.410 –> 00:18:26.160
Jason Mefford: And if you don’t then i’m going to fire you or if you don’t then i’m going to give you a bad review.

100
00:18:26.550 –> 00:18:34.050
Jason Mefford: Or if you don’t then you’re not going to get a very good raises next year or, if you don’t then i’m not going to give you a bonus.

101
00:18:34.650 –> 00:18:45.840
Jason Mefford: Now, by doing that what you’re actually doing is trying to control the other person or manipulate them into doing what you want to do now.

102
00:18:46.620 –> 00:19:01.980
Jason Mefford: Whether you realize it or not, you’re actually taking away or trying to take away that person’s free will, by doing this by putting them in a position where they no longer have a choice.

103
00:19:02.580 –> 00:19:09.090
Jason Mefford: you’re actually being an asshole okay i’m just going to cut to the chase on that you’re an asshole if you’re doing that okay.

104
00:19:09.690 –> 00:19:20.100
Jason Mefford: And I don’t think you want to be an asshole as a leader okay so because of that in in in what I find is a lot of people know about the concepts of influence.

105
00:19:20.400 –> 00:19:25.470
Jason Mefford: And they think they’re influencing but they’re actually manipulating people.

106
00:19:26.010 –> 00:19:41.430
Jason Mefford: And so, this is one of those skill areas that you really have to learn how to do it it’s all based in psychology but you the intention behind why and what you’re doing is so important as well.

107
00:19:42.120 –> 00:19:53.070
Jason Mefford: And so again that’s one of the things that i’m i’m preaching here on the podcast I talked about in the programs, whether it work with people, one on one from a coaching perspective.

108
00:19:53.490 –> 00:20:03.060
Jason Mefford: or in some of the group programs and other courses and trainings that I do because it’s so important for you to actually learn how to do this right.

109
00:20:03.570 –> 00:20:11.340
Jason Mefford: And, with the right intention, because, again, we want to make sure that we’re allowing people to choose.

110
00:20:11.880 –> 00:20:19.260
Jason Mefford: Now, obviously we want to make that choice and their best interest because there’s something that we would prefer that they do.

111
00:20:19.830 –> 00:20:33.660
Jason Mefford: But we always have to leave it as it’s their choice Okay, you can choose to do it, you cannot choose to do it it’s up to you now with every choice, there are.

112
00:20:34.200 –> 00:20:45.900
Jason Mefford: Consequences right and so again, as someone who may be supervises people if some of the people that work for you choose to do something else there’s going to be consequences right.

113
00:20:46.380 –> 00:21:00.030
Jason Mefford: And sometimes we’re the one who have to be the one that provide those consequences, but you can see, see see the difference in how this could be so i’m just going to a lot of you are probably parents.

114
00:21:01.110 –> 00:21:11.460
Jason Mefford: Have young children now or teenagers, or if you’re like me, you know I had plenty of kids I plenty kids so i’ve gone through it, they they’re all adults now.

115
00:21:12.180 –> 00:21:27.210
Jason Mefford: But let’s let’s kind of talk about that this concept and how you might parent even right because again this isn’t this podcast isn’t just about you know career and leadership that way it’s about your whole life anyway right so.

116
00:21:28.320 –> 00:21:30.210
Jason Mefford: So let’s look at you know how.

117
00:21:31.320 –> 00:21:45.390
Jason Mefford: In and try to use this analogy around parenting and be able to show the difference of you know if you’re trying to manipulate people versus providing people with choices and influencing them okay now.

118
00:21:46.260 –> 00:21:56.430
Jason Mefford: You know, again, if one of my children came to me let’s let’s say they’re there are smaller child right and I want them to do something like I want you to clean your room.

119
00:21:57.240 –> 00:22:10.680
Jason Mefford: Now there are certain things that I could do to manipulate my child to force them to clean their room and i’m sure you’ve seen parents who do this i’m sure you would never do this yourself.

120
00:22:11.430 –> 00:22:19.170
Jason Mefford: But let’s say things like if you don’t clean your room by six o’clock you’re not getting any dinner i’m just not going to feed you if you’re not going to do that.

121
00:22:19.950 –> 00:22:27.030
Jason Mefford: Well, is that the way you would talk to your child or if you don’t clean your room i’m going to beat you i’m going to spank you i’m going to do whatever right.

122
00:22:27.660 –> 00:22:41.040
Jason Mefford: that’s instead using fear tactics or trying to manipulate because there’s some form of punishment that goes along with it, if they don’t do what it is that you want them to do.

123
00:22:41.910 –> 00:22:52.020
Jason Mefford: Okay that’s more from a manipulating standpoint, are you put the person in an awkward position where not really no matter what they choose, they lose.

124
00:22:52.410 –> 00:23:06.180
Jason Mefford: And you know i’m sure you already understand that lose lose situations are not the way to influence people or make friends okay so So how could this look differently right instead.

125
00:23:07.350 –> 00:23:13.590
Jason Mefford: is actually going to your child and saying something like you know what it looks like your room is really kind of messy right now.

126
00:23:14.070 –> 00:23:22.050
Jason Mefford: i’m sure it’s probably hard for you to find your favorite toy, because you have so many things on the ground.

127
00:23:22.470 –> 00:23:30.000
Jason Mefford: Are you finding it difficult to find the toys that you want to play with right and start having some sort of a conversation with them.

128
00:23:30.510 –> 00:23:39.720
Jason Mefford: Right and understand first off, is it is it important for them to clean their room maybe that’s a question, you should ask yourself to write.

129
00:23:40.200 –> 00:23:47.910
Jason Mefford: How important is it that they actually clean their room, you know, for some of my children we didn’t we didn’t worry so much about it.

130
00:23:48.360 –> 00:23:57.990
Jason Mefford: Now, if they were making a mess in the other part of the House where the rest of us had to live, that was a different situation, but is it a big deal, whether they don’t clean their room or not.

131
00:23:58.830 –> 00:24:04.620
Jason Mefford: I don’t know you know, do you make a mountain out of a molehill on something that really doesn’t matter anyway.

132
00:24:05.220 –> 00:24:13.560
Jason Mefford: So, instead, what you’re trying to do is find ways to gate or provide you know some sort of benefit for them to do it.

133
00:24:13.890 –> 00:24:31.470
Jason Mefford: Now again they can choose to do it or choose not to do it it’s up to them as long as you have you know expressly kind of showing what those consequences are so again, I could go to this child and say you know what I really need you to clean your room.

134
00:24:32.670 –> 00:24:40.680
Jason Mefford: You know if you don’t clean your room i’m not going to be able to do this now, the choice is up to you, you can clean your room.

135
00:24:41.550 –> 00:24:51.450
Jason Mefford: Or you don’t clean your room if you don’t clean your room I won’t be able to do xyz but the choice is up to you, and then you walk away.

136
00:24:52.320 –> 00:25:01.650
Jason Mefford: And you let that child decide for themselves on what they’re going to do again them fully understanding what the consequences are one way or another.

137
00:25:02.490 –> 00:25:05.010
Jason Mefford: But the see the difference between those two.

138
00:25:05.670 –> 00:25:16.500
Jason Mefford: And I know you know again sometimes we’re trying to control, we want to control and make sure that nothing bad ends up happening that’s why sometimes as parents, we really try to control our children because we’re.

139
00:25:16.890 –> 00:25:20.610
Jason Mefford: we’re afraid they’re going to hurt themselves or we’re afraid that something is going to happen.

140
00:25:21.180 –> 00:25:40.140
Jason Mefford: Well, as a leader you can’t be afraid of bad things happening you just have to try to do what you can to make things more likely to turn out in a good way, but at the end of the day, everybody has their own choice and their own decision OK.

141
00:25:41.340 –> 00:25:46.170
Jason Mefford: So, again that’s kind of what I wanted to talk a little bit to you today about some of these modern.

142
00:25:46.830 –> 00:26:02.670
Jason Mefford: leave your skills that you need to have and again as you’re listening, you know some of these things might have popped up and went Oh, my goodness, I don’t really know how to do that i’m not quite sure how to do that well keep listening to the podcast reach out to me, and let me know.

143
00:26:03.870 –> 00:26:10.770
Jason Mefford: But i’ve also given you a few actual you know tactical skills that you can actually do today.

144
00:26:11.340 –> 00:26:17.250
Jason Mefford: Because what I will tell you, you know you can choose to continue to do things the way you’ve been doing them.

145
00:26:17.880 –> 00:26:30.690
Jason Mefford: And if you do there’s it’s probably going to be more and more difficult for you, in your role as a leader or you can choose to start doing things different.

146
00:26:31.290 –> 00:26:41.520
Jason Mefford: To start looking at yourself and becoming a better person and a better leader, because what ends up happening is you know we change the world, one person at a time.

147
00:26:42.180 –> 00:26:52.410
Jason Mefford: And the first person that we need to change is ourself and what I will tell you, having worked with lots of people over many, many, many, many years is.

148
00:26:53.550 –> 00:27:06.390
Jason Mefford: The more you change yourself, the more the world around you changes and nothing in your world will change until you choose to change yourself.

149
00:27:07.050 –> 00:27:23.430
Jason Mefford: But the beautiful thing is when you change yourself the world around you will change so with that i’m going to sign off for this episode and we will catch you on the next episode have a great rest of your day.