In a recent Jamming with Jason podcast I speak with my friend Mo Issa about his journey of self discovery and finding what is really important in life.
I met Mo many years ago when we were both trained to be coaches by Brian Tracy and we have continued our friendship as our paths keep crossing.
Mo is one of the most authentic, reflective and wise people I know, so thought it was perfect to have him on the podcast to discuss how to become more self-aware, intentional, and learn how to slow down and relax… things most of us don’t start doing until a mid-life crisis.
Most people go through life in a hypnotic trance and wake up one day to realize there are fewer years ahead of them than what they’ve lived. Panic often sets in and you experience to proverbial “mid-life crisis” and start making life changes. Sound familiar?
I’m guessing you don’t want to have a “crisis” in your life before you start implementing this wisdom, right?!
Discover what you can do now to avoid your own mid-life crisis, or if you are in the middle of it now, what you can do to get out.
And of course, like usual there are lots of quotable lines and lessons for you to develop habits that help you live your best life and get the most out of your career.
In this #jammingwithjason #podcast I speak with my friend Mo Issa about his journey of self discovery and finding what is really important in life.
I met Mo many years ago when we were both trained to be coaches by Brian Tracy and we have continued our friendship as our paths keep crossing. Mo is one of the most authentic, reflective and wise people I know, so thought it was perfect to have him on the podcast to discuss how to become more self-aware, intentional, and learn how to slow down and relax… things most of us don’t start doing until a mid-life crisis.
And I’m guessing you don’t want to have a “crisis” in your life to before you start implementing this wisdom, right?!
And of course, like usual there are lots of quotable lines and lessons for you to develop habits that help you live your best life and get the most out of your career.
How can you reflect more and be intentional in your life?
Learn more about Mo and sign up for his weekly newsletter at: mo-issa.com
1 00:00:01.170 –> 00:00:09.510 Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of jamming with Jason hey today, I have a good friend mo ISA on with me and.
2 00:00:10.410 –> 00:00:19.830 Jason Mefford: it’s one of those where we’ve we’ve known each other for a while, but it’s been a while, since we’ve last connected and just felt like I needed to have him on the podcast.
3 00:00:20.370 –> 00:00:26.520 Jason Mefford: As we get into it you’re going to see why because he’s had an amazing career he’s an amazing man.
4 00:00:27.030 –> 00:00:39.750 Jason Mefford: And so, whatever you do hang on and listen to this whole episode because there’s going to be a lot of different things that are going to help you to improve your life and your career so with that let’s roll that episode.
5 00:00:41.880 –> 00:00:43.440 Jason Mefford: hey mo how you doing man.
6 00:00:44.160 –> 00:00:44.820 Mohammed Issa: hey Jason.
7 00:00:46.200 –> 00:00:52.710 Jason Mefford: it’s well it’s been it’s been a long time and it’s it’s one of those two where it’s like I mean we both know people all over the world.
8 00:00:52.950 –> 00:00:57.870 Jason Mefford: Right, I mean I think right we first met I think in San Diego when we were.
9 00:00:58.380 –> 00:01:01.050 Jason Mefford: Getting trained by Brian Tracy to be coaches.
10 00:01:01.080 –> 00:01:12.600 Jason Mefford: Right so right that was how we kind of first mad and and yeah I don’t I live in La so i’m not too far away, but you’re in Ghana right you had to come, like halfway around the world.
11 00:01:13.560 –> 00:01:29.520 Jason Mefford: To show up there and but what’s Nice, you know one thing that I love about this is when we go different places, we know people right, so it wasn’t but a year later, I was in Ghana doing a training and so it’s like hey mo let’s hang out and we did, and the.
12 00:01:29.520 –> 00:01:30.840 Jason Mefford: Right awesome right.
13 00:01:32.730 –> 00:01:49.110 Jason Mefford: Of course, and I think the next time I was there you happen to be in London that week, so it was like but anyway, but especially now with with you know what we have electronically, you know with technology it’s great because yeah we can just hop on and and talk, even though we’re literally.
14 00:01:50.250 –> 00:01:59.430 Jason Mefford: Half a world away so you know, one of the bringing on because I know I you know get your your newsletters guys and.
15 00:02:00.480 –> 00:02:06.750 Jason Mefford: And there’s there’s certain themes that you kind of talk about that I just love to write and so wanted to kind of kind of bring on I know.
16 00:02:07.230 –> 00:02:20.760 Jason Mefford: you’ve got a traditional brick and mortar business, but you also are a speaker and help help people as well, so maybe if you want to just take a minute and just kind of introduce you to everybody, I know who you are but everybody else doesn’t know yet so.
17 00:02:21.870 –> 00:02:22.380 Mohammed Issa: yep.
18 00:02:23.700 –> 00:02:34.440 Mohammed Issa: I mean, as you said that, let me start with because um I I traveled all the way to San Diego he said from Ghana and that’s that’s sort of that’s a trademark of of who I am because I am.
19 00:02:35.010 –> 00:02:47.940 Mohammed Issa: i’m originally from Lebanon in the Middle East and my parents immigrated to Ghana West Africa, and I was born here in Ghana and I traveled and studied in UK and came back to Ghana so i’m all over the place.
20 00:02:49.170 –> 00:02:53.010 Mohammed Issa: yeah I started my business brick and mortar 25 years ago and it’s.
21 00:02:54.150 –> 00:02:55.770 Mohammed Issa: it’s doing quite well.
22 00:02:56.790 –> 00:03:00.660 Mohammed Issa: But almost like was it 10 years ago when I started this sort of.
23 00:03:01.980 –> 00:03:11.490 Mohammed Issa: I call it the self discovery journey, where I started digging deeper because i’ve made money and i’ve lost money, I made money again and.
24 00:03:12.000 –> 00:03:30.210 Mohammed Issa: And money didn’t seem to answer all my questions, even though that’s how it’s brought up if you know anything about Lebanese and their history it’s like we leave our country we go out and a lot of them sort of aspire to make money, full stop so.
25 00:03:31.440 –> 00:03:47.610 Mohammed Issa: 10 years ago I went into sub discovery journey I started going travelling one of them was the San Diego with Brian Tracy where we met and I wanted sort of to read understand both myself more and to help other people, so I started.
26 00:03:48.810 –> 00:04:09.960 Mohammed Issa: Going into speaking coaching and writing which we’ll talk a lot more afterwards is sort of what the centerpiece for everything that that I became this new model is completely different and and revolutionary as compared to the old model.
27 00:04:11.100 –> 00:04:17.520 Mohammed Issa: And it all came because of me expressing myself on paper basically and.
28 00:04:19.050 –> 00:04:33.120 Mohammed Issa: Yes, so now fast forward 2021 I think it’s, eight years after San Diego and when we met and 10 years after we started after I started my journey.
29 00:04:34.830 –> 00:04:43.470 Mohammed Issa: i’m selling the same place sort of balancing both worlds, the the the typical businessman with with a hard nosed businessman.
30 00:04:43.860 –> 00:04:44.220 Mohammed Issa: Who has it.
31 00:04:44.640 –> 00:04:54.240 Mohammed Issa: As a team under him and living the other more authentic life and sometimes I feel like a hypocrite like one and I just.
32 00:04:55.800 –> 00:04:59.550 Mohammed Issa: Cut cut my my business.
33 00:05:00.930 –> 00:05:04.080 Mohammed Issa: connections and sort of live the life that I want, but it’s also.
34 00:05:04.590 –> 00:05:21.480 Mohammed Issa: difficult to do that because responsibilities bills and all kind of that so, so this is where i’m at at the moment but yeah definitely I sort of delve deep into the inner world a cross section between philosophy psychology and emotional well being so.
35 00:05:22.050 –> 00:05:36.510 Jason Mefford: yeah well that’s what you know to kind of touch on what what you talked about at the beginning, because this is this is true, I mean we see this all the time, I mean we’re both midlife you know and and we’ve experienced a lot of life already.
36 00:05:37.080 –> 00:05:53.460 Jason Mefford: And, and what you explained there at the beginning, you know you’ve made lots of money you’ve lost lots of money you’ve made lots of money right so again there’s so many people out there that think well when I finally make X amount of money then i’m going to be happy.
37 00:05:53.760 –> 00:06:11.490 Jason Mefford: Right or when I accomplish Why then i’m finally going to be happy right but that isn’t the case right, I mean that’s that’s what you found in your own journey, I mean that’s why 10 years ago you kind of you know woke up and had that I mean we call it midlife crisis.
38 00:06:12.300 –> 00:06:19.710 Jason Mefford: For a reason we live long enough and we realize hey the paradigm, or the model of the world that i’ve been living.
39 00:06:20.430 –> 00:06:21.990 Jason Mefford: is not making me happy.
40 00:06:23.010 –> 00:06:32.220 Mohammed Issa: Absolutely and and I think midlife crisis that the the actual phrase has a bad connotation it’s like heavily loaded.
41 00:06:32.670 –> 00:06:37.140 Mohammed Issa: But in reality it’s not about balding man and a red Ferrari.
42 00:06:38.220 –> 00:06:38.430 Mohammed Issa: Right.
43 00:06:38.760 –> 00:06:43.770 Jason Mefford: that’s that’s what everybody thinks about but yeah yeah yeah but but it’s not true because it’s a.
44 00:06:43.770 –> 00:06:52.650 Mohammed Issa: Time where where we sort of feel this quiet it’s not something that you depressed all the time, or are you really feel like you need to.
45 00:06:53.340 –> 00:07:10.050 Mohammed Issa: Go go on meds but but it’s it is quiet, the satisfaction that sort of give some like bugging you from other in the background right and it’s like i’m Okay, and I should be grateful, and yet i’m not so happy and that makes it like a double dose of.
46 00:07:11.190 –> 00:07:22.380 Mohammed Issa: of guilt right like Why am I not happy i’m feeling guilty I i’m okay i’m much better than maybe I don’t know 90% of the population and yet.
47 00:07:23.070 –> 00:07:29.280 Mohammed Issa: it’s it’s a time where you are reflecting it’s midlife it is mid July because you’ve sort of spent.
48 00:07:29.700 –> 00:07:41.460 Mohammed Issa: Several decades doing running achieving without even reflecting your thinking so something maybe an event comes along or maybe it’s quite the satisfaction that hits you and you start reflecting and thinking.
49 00:07:42.210 –> 00:07:52.050 Mohammed Issa: You know what if sort of slowing down, maybe i’ll start in June, maybe I can start seeing the actual flowers that I walk around with every day, which I never did 20 years ago.
50 00:07:52.710 –> 00:07:55.740 Mohammed Issa: And that’s a true story for me anyway in my mind that yeah.
51 00:07:55.830 –> 00:08:02.640 Jason Mefford: Well, which is why you know stop and smell the roses there’s a reason why all these little cliches and sayings come up right yeah.
52 00:08:02.700 –> 00:08:10.620 Mohammed Issa: yeah yeah yeah and I know cliche sounds so like boring and, like everybody knows what that, but that they are usually through right.
53 00:08:11.160 –> 00:08:11.430 Jason Mefford: Oh yeah.
54 00:08:11.460 –> 00:08:12.000 Mohammed Issa: If we can say.
55 00:08:12.360 –> 00:08:18.600 Jason Mefford: I have, I have to stop and remind myself to literally smell my roses out in the back okay.
56 00:08:18.750 –> 00:08:31.830 Jason Mefford: yeah i’ve got these two little rose bushes that I just love and kind of care for and yeah i’ve gotta stop and go outside and smell them and be grateful and just be present in that moment, it makes me feel.
57 00:08:32.340 –> 00:08:44.910 Jason Mefford: A lot better because yeah If not, we just get caught in all the craziness of life and and we just kind of forget and like you said, sometimes that leads that guilt will guilt is one of the worst emotions that we can feel we don’t want to.
58 00:08:44.910 –> 00:08:46.050 Jason Mefford: be feeling guilty.
59 00:08:46.170 –> 00:08:47.100 Mohammed Issa: Right yeah.
60 00:08:47.340 –> 00:08:58.620 Mohammed Issa: yeah so so yeah I mean I mean and midlife crisis, a point of reflection, where where it’s like our old ways don’t serve our new being.
61 00:08:59.100 –> 00:09:09.420 Mohammed Issa: And it’s a time to realign our values like Maybe my and there’s nothing wrong about success and making money which was a big driver for me when I was young, but.
62 00:09:10.320 –> 00:09:18.120 Mohammed Issa: let’s say midlife or whatever it is something hits you and i’m realigning my van is like what really matters what i’ve only got 30 or 40 years to live.
63 00:09:18.150 –> 00:09:27.270 Mohammed Issa: Right, so what, what are the big prize that’s when you start thinking or what are the big things that I wanna I wanna I wanna I want to do in this in this world and it’s like.
64 00:09:28.590 –> 00:09:34.380 Jason Mefford: Well it’s interesting because, like you said you know that midlife you know we’re both at the point in our life, where.
65 00:09:34.860 –> 00:09:44.520 Jason Mefford: we’ve got fewer years left to live than we’ve already lived and so again it’s like shit what am I gonna do with the last 30 years of my life right.
66 00:09:45.120 –> 00:09:55.410 Jason Mefford: And, and you know, again I know a lot of people that are listening, you might not be as old as we are, but why are, why are we talking about this because we don’t want you to wait.
67 00:09:55.830 –> 00:10:06.240 Jason Mefford: Right don’t want to wait, as long as we waited either to start learning some of these things shake up you know, like you said, our old ways, no longer service.
68 00:10:06.300 –> 00:10:08.190 Jason Mefford: And this happens all the time is.
69 00:10:08.550 –> 00:10:19.800 Jason Mefford: We get caught in these routines we get caught in these patterns and it’s not actually helping us get what we want right, and so we actually have to change.
70 00:10:20.220 –> 00:10:32.160 Jason Mefford: If that’s what we’re going to do, and I know that’s that’s what you’re helping people do that’s why you’ve been writing books that’s why you’ve been speaking, is to try to help people kind of come out of that So how do people come out of it.
71 00:10:33.900 –> 00:10:34.410 Mohammed Issa: I mean.
72 00:10:35.670 –> 00:10:45.300 Mohammed Issa: At the end of the day it goes all goes back to self awareness, I mean whether it’s reading a book or listening to a podcast or going to a Tony robbins event.
73 00:10:46.020 –> 00:10:51.720 Mohammed Issa: All these things are not going to change transform your life you’re going to have to do it right, but there are at least a point of.
74 00:10:52.350 –> 00:10:59.640 Mohammed Issa: Reflection a point where you start asking yourself questions, am I happy, am I satisfied is our reading I want, what I want to do.
75 00:11:00.630 –> 00:11:11.400 Mohammed Issa: And and it’s not always easy, especially for younger people because i’ve spoken to a lot of younger people and they say that you know what you’ve you’ve.
76 00:11:11.850 –> 00:11:19.200 Mohammed Issa: you’ve sort of spend your life doing an acting and now it’s our time so so when we get to your it’s maybe we’ll start asking the question but.
77 00:11:19.830 –> 00:11:38.070 Mohammed Issa: But as you were saying, I think, once we start sort of and today’s is a great I mean podcast everywhere blocks everywhere courses are online today’s is a great place for information, which is only going to be a springboard for you to start thinking and reflecting.
78 00:11:39.120 –> 00:11:52.800 Mohammed Issa: And the more you do that, the more you’re intentional and that’s that’s the point that maybe the younger people should look at i’m not saying stop chasing money or stop chasing your dreams, but be much more intentional, what do you want from life.
79 00:11:54.780 –> 00:12:03.810 Mohammed Issa: Like what the social media wanted to know you know, like that and that’s another issue, maybe we’ll speak about not just social media, what about the meeting environment because I feel like.
80 00:12:04.260 –> 00:12:14.400 Mohammed Issa: Even with with me when I realized my values, a lot of my values were not even mine, they were either by my parents or my environment or or the media popular culture so.
81 00:12:15.870 –> 00:12:21.540 Jason Mefford: yeah did you see that a lot and I wanted to bring up because you used a couple of words, you know about thinking and reflection.
82 00:12:22.200 –> 00:12:30.900 Jason Mefford: Right and I know you know because i’ve spent a lot of my career teaching training people right because, because I have a passion for learning.
83 00:12:31.530 –> 00:12:46.770 Jason Mefford: Every single day i’m learning something new folks right i’m listening to podcasts i’m reading books i’m i’ll go down the rabbit hole on Google, you know about different things, I mean one of my favorite things to do, which is kind of weird is my wife, she she brings in all these.
84 00:12:48.000 –> 00:13:01.320 Jason Mefford: into our playlist all these movies, based on real life, so we watch a movie based on real life, and then I like spend a half an hour trying to figure out what actually really happened right who were these people, what is this wall I didn’t know that right.
85 00:13:01.770 –> 00:13:12.960 Jason Mefford: So i’m constantly learning every day, but what a lot of people don’t realize and those words that you used is learning.
86 00:13:13.470 –> 00:13:23.280 Jason Mefford: Is not the same as acquiring knowledge right because, again, we can read all the books, where learning comes is in that reflection.
87 00:13:24.060 –> 00:13:35.820 Jason Mefford: And in the actual exercising and practicing right, so you can read all the books, you want, you can listen to all the podcasts you want, you can go to all the Tony robbins type events.
88 00:13:36.390 –> 00:13:47.550 Jason Mefford: But unless you actually do something about it, unless you stop and reflect and incorporate that into your life and until you start doing something different.
89 00:13:48.270 –> 00:13:57.630 Jason Mefford: it’s all for not right you’ve wasted your time reading if you’re not going to do anything about it and i’m sure you’ve probably seen that in your life and with other people you’ve worked with too right.
90 00:13:58.500 –> 00:14:16.770 Mohammed Issa: Absolutely, I mean I mean I can even I remember when I went to the I went to a Tony robbins event he made us walk on fire, which is amazing, and we really did there’s no scams or anything you did he puts you in such a state of mind that you do you live, I left on the Sunday.
91 00:14:18.510 –> 00:14:22.710 Mohammed Issa: The whole week, I was wow man, I was on I don’t know what we were on.
92 00:14:23.310 –> 00:14:27.030 Mohammed Issa: Something something good, and I could sort of.
93 00:14:28.110 –> 00:14:35.730 Mohammed Issa: build the universe, and the way I felt and then it’s sort of slowly drops away because you have all these dreams, all these aspirations, but we’ve.
94 00:14:36.210 –> 00:14:45.030 Mohammed Issa: we’ve not sort of put them in concrete we haven’t taken any action towards them it’s a good place and, as you said, action is key.
95 00:14:45.690 –> 00:14:54.990 Mohammed Issa: there’s an anonymous code that says action is the language of god’s basically so you can you can read as much as you want, you can, if you don’t actually.
96 00:14:55.410 –> 00:15:00.120 Mohammed Issa: emotional eyes it put it into your nervous system actually act on it nothing’s going to happen.
97 00:15:00.990 –> 00:15:18.240 Mohammed Issa: And for me, nothing sort of the only changes that I could say that really helped me was was when I started incorporating habits, creating systems and habits and writing being key one of them, that really I started seeing change in my life.
98 00:15:19.200 –> 00:15:27.960 Jason Mefford: Well, in that you use the H word right habits which I love I love that word, and you know again it’s a word that usually gets bad connotations.
99 00:15:28.440 –> 00:15:42.720 Jason Mefford: Because when we when we say the word habit, we think bad habits right like you gotta break all these bad habits, but you forget that a lot of the action is those good habits, so what are those good habits that you need to do.
100 00:15:43.770 –> 00:15:52.860 Jason Mefford: You know, in order to you know, be able to get what you want, and I love that I hadn’t heard that that quote before action is the language of god’s.
101 00:15:53.400 –> 00:16:08.130 Jason Mefford: Because well you know what’s interesting is a lot of people think well if I just hope and wish and pray for it, then you know everything will just happen right, and I think it was, I think I heard the story from jack canfield, but it was you know about this guy who wanted to win the lottery.
102 00:16:08.910 –> 00:16:13.500 Jason Mefford: And so every week, he would pray he’d go into the church and he pray you know God.
103 00:16:13.710 –> 00:16:31.500 Jason Mefford: Please help me win the lottery right and so he can go in every week and he do that prayer and, finally, he was in there one week and God, you know he’s sitting there praying praying praying and God comes on it’s like my son all right, I heard you but go buy a lottery ticket, then you know.
104 00:16:32.640 –> 00:16:34.260 Jason Mefford: That excuse me that.
105 00:16:34.890 –> 00:16:40.500 Jason Mefford: If we don’t actually take some action it’s just hoping and wishing and praying and that.
106 00:16:40.620 –> 00:16:43.020 Jason Mefford: So you do have to you do have to take action.
107 00:16:43.500 –> 00:16:54.870 Jason Mefford: Now I know you’ve you know you’ve written I think multiple books already I think you’re working on one one now right but that’s that’s one of those where a lot of people say they want to write a book.
108 00:16:55.800 –> 00:17:00.450 Jason Mefford: But what does it actually take to write a book you actually got to sit your butt in the chair and do it right.
109 00:17:01.140 –> 00:17:14.190 Mohammed Issa: that’s it exactly and and writing i’m sure you we all right and you’ve written before and it’s such a it’s not something that’s easy such a difficult task to do and it’s but.
110 00:17:15.390 –> 00:17:16.140 Mohammed Issa: it’s not.
111 00:17:17.310 –> 00:17:32.010 Mohammed Issa: Hard per se but it’s difficult because you just need to sit your butt down and do the after writing for one hour every day or half an hour every day, and if you do it consistently, you can have a book and the end of six months is as simple as that.
112 00:17:33.210 –> 00:17:44.160 Mohammed Issa: But it’s that initial sort of initial taking of the action that that is the hardest time I always find and going back to the habits.
113 00:17:45.630 –> 00:18:02.880 Mohammed Issa: And for me what what 3D was a cornerstone habit and change a lot of things, for me, was I started rising early like one hour earlier than anybody else in the House around five ish and, I would first thing i’ll do is.
114 00:18:03.990 –> 00:18:08.730 Mohammed Issa: I sometimes meditate on and off sometimes I believe I become a Buddhist monk and.
115 00:18:08.730 –> 00:18:09.480 Mohammed Issa: Other days I just.
116 00:18:10.170 –> 00:18:11.550 Mohammed Issa: I don’t believe in it anymore.
117 00:18:13.170 –> 00:18:18.270 Mohammed Issa: it’s that simple, but I go back I what has stuck with me the biggest habit is journaling.
118 00:18:19.260 –> 00:18:22.110 Mohammed Issa: So every day in the morning, I get up I journal for.
119 00:18:22.350 –> 00:18:31.380 Mohammed Issa: I follow Julia cameron’s the artist’s way procedures just right out three pages, whatever comes up and usually it’s about.
120 00:18:32.190 –> 00:18:49.890 Mohammed Issa: What i’m grateful for the past few days, what my desires are how badly the day went, for example, what were my flaws Why did I explode in the middle of in the middle of the road on somebody cutting me up.
121 00:18:51.690 –> 00:19:06.690 Mohammed Issa: On my dreams and my goals and sort of I found that habit which which i’ve maintained for i’ve barely missed days i’ve maintained for more than seven years now it’s sort of this expression of my inner self really has helped me.
122 00:19:07.770 –> 00:19:14.010 Mohammed Issa: establish what we’re talking about that the thinking and reflecting and the actual learning the stage to get into action.
123 00:19:14.850 –> 00:19:28.800 Jason Mefford: Well, and it’s it’s you know what you said, hopefully, everybody that was listening heard that most been doing that for seven years folks that’s a habit right and, at the beginning, it wasn’t easy i’m guessing right because, like you said, the initial.
124 00:19:29.190 –> 00:19:34.500 Jason Mefford: is usually the hardest point right you until you do it 10 times 30 times in a row.
125 00:19:35.100 –> 00:19:48.600 Jason Mefford: Your brains trying to sabotage you and getting you to stop to do it right, so you got to push through that initial time until you develop it as a habit now i’m guessing it’s not hard for you to get up in the morning and do that right.
126 00:19:49.470 –> 00:19:54.300 Mohammed Issa: Absolutely it’s it’s a joy actually I mean I get up early and I look that’s, the first thing I look forward to.
127 00:19:54.840 –> 00:20:04.470 Jason Mefford: yeah well it’s like you said, I mean you know, having these we never accomplish as much as we’d like to in one day.
128 00:20:05.430 –> 00:20:20.760 Jason Mefford: But, over the course of 90 days or a year we accomplished a lot more than we ever thought was possible, if we’re consistent right and like you said you know if you get up every day if you write for an hour every day in six months, you actually have a book.
129 00:20:21.510 –> 00:20:22.920 Jason Mefford: So, again for people that want.
130 00:20:22.920 –> 00:20:29.160 Jason Mefford: to write a book that’s what you do right you got to get up you got to actually do it, you got to be consistent with it long enough.
131 00:20:29.790 –> 00:20:43.170 Jason Mefford: But all of a sudden, you have it, and you’ve accomplished your level Now I know we were talking before we hit record, you know that there’s there’s some other stuff that you do around that with writing with book to kind of bring some music into this as well.
132 00:20:43.620 –> 00:20:59.790 Jason Mefford: right that that you kind of have like a whole little practice that you go through, as you do that so maybe just kind of share with people because, again, this will be another way that people can incorporate music and other stuff into their life to help them get what they want.
133 00:21:00.780 –> 00:21:01.170 yep.
134 00:21:03.300 –> 00:21:20.490 Mohammed Issa: I mean for me to get into writing to the that flow famous word balance become like a second one of the most famous words right flow to get into flow or in the zone, whatever I I kind of music I listen to it’s sort of neoclassical music it’s.
135 00:21:22.950 –> 00:21:34.230 Mohammed Issa: I don’t even know their name, sometimes I just go to spotify and I have a playlist which I use every time it’s the same playlist it’s sort of.
136 00:21:35.430 –> 00:21:49.590 Mohammed Issa: Music without words sometimes it’s a piano sometimes it’s a violin and it’s it’s sort of engages my mind like white noise in the background, but at the same time doesn’t take a lot of.
137 00:21:50.610 –> 00:22:09.990 Mohammed Issa: My thinking mind energy and it helps me sort of relax and get into the flow and and I just start writing immediate like I put on the headphones whether it’s yeah the airports now and it’s like magic it works, obviously with a with a cup of strong coffee.
138 00:22:11.070 –> 00:22:13.500 Jason Mefford: Is 5am yeah yeah like.
139 00:22:13.770 –> 00:22:15.720 Mohammed Issa: Like strong coffee is going to do the trick yeah.
140 00:22:16.170 –> 00:22:27.210 Jason Mefford: Well, and it’s you know because that’s that’s one of the things to that as people you know just to share with you, you know some of those things that you’re doing in psychology we call anchors right so.
141 00:22:27.240 –> 00:22:29.490 Jason Mefford: Right, so what ends up happening is again.
142 00:22:30.480 –> 00:22:44.400 Jason Mefford: You get up every morning, you have a certain routine and you’re anchoring activities with some of these different things you do putting on your headphones select that playlist you’re listening to the same playlist every day right.
143 00:22:44.880 –> 00:22:55.590 Jason Mefford: Those things are anchors that kind of help you get into that stayed that’s going to make it easier for you to actually do your writing as well right, so I do the same thing there’s.
144 00:22:56.160 –> 00:23:00.450 Jason Mefford: there’s really about like three to three different playlists that I listened to most of the time.
145 00:23:00.870 –> 00:23:10.590 Jason Mefford: i’ll get up you know first thing in the morning there’s there’s some music, I listened to, to help me kind of wake up, I have one that I use to get me excited and started for the business day.
146 00:23:11.100 –> 00:23:17.490 Jason Mefford: And I usually have one at night that I listened to that helps me kind of calm down and relax so that I can sleep well right.
147 00:23:17.730 –> 00:23:25.410 Jason Mefford: Okay, and so it’s it’s you know you’re doing the same thing that you can actually use music as a way to get you.
148 00:23:26.250 –> 00:23:30.660 Jason Mefford: To both help you do the habits, but also get you into an emotional state right.
149 00:23:31.290 –> 00:23:46.530 Jason Mefford: Because again i’m sure that you know the neo classical music that you listen to works for you, it gets you in that certain state that you need to be able to right now, if you were listening to heavy metal it’s going to get you into a different state right.
150 00:23:46.560 –> 00:24:02.430 Jason Mefford: Again, yes I love heavy metal but it that’s not what I listened to first thing in the morning or right when i’m going to bed right because I need to be in a certain state so i’m helping music to kind of get me into that particular State right.
151 00:24:03.240 –> 00:24:16.590 Mohammed Issa: Yes, yes, I mean when I work out I work out four days a week or five days a week, and that’s different kind of music it’s it’s more electronic electronic house kind of music the 3D.
153 00:24:19.830 –> 00:24:21.000 Mohammed Issa: yeah yeah.
154 00:24:21.630 –> 00:24:27.060 Jason Mefford: Well, and it’s great and it’s, you know as we talk about you know some of the stuff that.
155 00:24:27.960 –> 00:24:32.730 Jason Mefford: You know you’ve been working with and how you’ve been trying to help people to I wanted to kind of see is there.
156 00:24:33.420 –> 00:24:39.210 Jason Mefford: Is there kind of a common theme that you see to with you know when when people.
157 00:24:39.780 –> 00:24:46.650 Jason Mefford: Even like you said you know you kind of get to that point and it’s like you’re not really satisfied with with everything that’s going on.
158 00:24:47.280 –> 00:24:59.430 Jason Mefford: Are there some tricks of some things that people can do to kind of help get them out of that and get them kind of moving forward as well does everything kind of have the same root cause at the end of the day, or is there.
159 00:25:00.630 –> 00:25:06.990 Mohammed Issa: I mean it’s all rather subjective because everybody has his own sort of deep issues which he has to work out.
160 00:25:08.010 –> 00:25:13.860 Mohammed Issa: I mean, I really believe that we all come with certain Oh, we develop certain issues which we are supposed to work out right.
161 00:25:14.730 –> 00:25:24.390 Mohammed Issa: My issues are different to yours your upbringing was different to mine but having said that, I really feel like what is common to all of us is that.
162 00:25:25.110 –> 00:25:44.580 Mohammed Issa: Life is just too fast, we really need to simplify things much more now that the amount of information, the amount of things that are happening around us, I don’t think we are our brain was meant to handle all that so as much as we can, we can slow it down simplify our lives.
163 00:25:46.350 –> 00:25:51.690 Mohammed Issa: I mean if you can go become more mindful is the word but it’s so difficult practicing.
164 00:25:52.050 –> 00:26:03.810 Mohammed Issa: The mindful meditation ways, but but, but just simply simplifying things whether it’s your phone being silent at night or taking a day off your phone is off for the whole day one day a week or something.
165 00:26:04.500 –> 00:26:10.650 Mohammed Issa: Or whether it’s just not reading any of your newsletter it’s anybody’s news that is for a week as well.
166 00:26:11.880 –> 00:26:13.560 Jason Mefford: Except for most read his every week.
167 00:26:14.670 –> 00:26:15.600 Mohammed Issa: I was just gonna say that.
168 00:26:17.700 –> 00:26:18.630 Mohammed Issa: Mr believe that.
169 00:26:18.930 –> 00:26:19.860 Mohammed Issa: yeah yeah yeah.
170 00:26:21.360 –> 00:26:24.570 Mohammed Issa: I mean that’s quite uniform I just think we need to slow down.
171 00:26:27.480 –> 00:26:36.270 Jason Mefford: Well, because yeah and it’s interesting that you say that because there’s another there’s another story that i’d heard that kind of illustrates this is.
172 00:26:37.320 –> 00:26:45.990 Jason Mefford: You know, in the beginning, the gods got together and they said hey you know we’ve got this really valuable thing that man needs but we don’t want to.
173 00:26:46.500 –> 00:26:53.400 Jason Mefford: We want to make it hard for them to find and so one of the gods says well let’s let’s put it at the top of a mountain.
174 00:26:53.790 –> 00:26:59.700 Jason Mefford: Because they’ll never find it there now you know they can climb up the mountain they’ll probably find a way to climb up the mountain.
175 00:27:00.270 –> 00:27:07.170 Jason Mefford: Okay, well, what if we buried at the bottom of the ocean they’ll never get it there well know they’ll probably find out way.
176 00:27:07.620 –> 00:27:20.310 Jason Mefford: Right to get to the bottom of the ocean and find this and, finally, one of them goes why don’t we put it inside the man and the rest of it like ah they’ll never find it there.
177 00:27:21.870 –> 00:27:31.110 Jason Mefford: that’s so so that’s kind of what you’re saying to right is this this slowing down because what’s amazing is, as you slow down, you have these.
178 00:27:31.440 –> 00:27:33.210 Jason Mefford: You know reflection points.
179 00:27:34.440 –> 00:27:47.490 Jason Mefford: that’s when we can go into ourself and usually you know it’s like the wizard of Oz you know, at the end, she you know she clicks her heels together and the wizard said you’ve always had the power to do that, it was always with you.
180 00:27:48.030 –> 00:27:52.080 Jason Mefford: And it’s it’s it’s kind of the same way, you know you we see it.
181 00:27:52.680 –> 00:27:54.180 Jason Mefford: In Star Wars.
182 00:27:54.390 –> 00:28:03.630 Jason Mefford: In the forest right trust the force well, the process is in us right and so as we take that time to slow down to reflect to go internally.
183 00:28:04.170 –> 00:28:14.130 Jason Mefford: We can access that and that’s that’s where a lot of that calm comes and like you said you’ve got your stuff to work out i’ve got my stuff to work out there, different things.
184 00:28:14.580 –> 00:28:30.660 Jason Mefford: How are we going to know we got to get quiet and figure out what it is for us that we have to do and that only comes from slowing down and having that reflection the mindfulness the you know, turning it off for a little while and letting letting it come through.
185 00:28:31.950 –> 00:28:35.580 Mohammed Issa: and turning in golf means also because of.
186 00:28:36.300 –> 00:28:44.370 Mohammed Issa: The deluge of all this media around this and people we’ve become like similar to each other, like I like the same thing you like, he likes it.
187 00:28:44.670 –> 00:28:49.920 Mohammed Issa: there’s no individuality anymore you feel like everybody likes or dislikes or that is a big polar.
188 00:28:50.820 –> 00:29:07.470 Mohammed Issa: polar opposites right so we’re not taking enough time to really what our value Do I really like baseball just because 10 of my friends like Do I really like it or Do I really like this new writer who came out or is it because.
189 00:29:08.940 –> 00:29:11.430 Mohammed Issa: The new Yorkers activism stroke.
190 00:29:11.730 –> 00:29:12.570 Mohammed Issa: are really pushing.
191 00:29:12.810 –> 00:29:16.650 Mohammed Issa: pushing the writer, to be famous because of some political reason.
192 00:29:19.020 –> 00:29:30.540 Mohammed Issa: I mean that’s this that’s why, when you slow down, you get to know what what who are you who do you want to be, and who will really authentic food the truth authentic authenticity of yourself.
193 00:29:31.710 –> 00:29:34.230 Jason Mefford: Well, and that’s that’s sometimes a very hard.
194 00:29:35.460 –> 00:29:47.610 Jason Mefford: Hard thing to go through right and so again that word like authenticity comes up a lot, because you know we all, we all are different, we don’t have to have to like the same things and it’s okay.
195 00:29:48.330 –> 00:29:55.920 Jason Mefford: I just because everybody else loves the last movie or the last book that came out if you don’t like it you don’t like it it’s okay.
196 00:29:56.460 –> 00:30:16.260 Jason Mefford: Right, yes I think personally that’s what makes the world so much more enjoyable for me is the diversity of people likes dislikes opinions other things like that that actually make it, you know if we’re if we’re all the same it’d be a boring place right.
197 00:30:16.800 –> 00:30:20.250 Jason Mefford: Imagine if ever, if everything in the world was the same color.
198 00:30:21.900 –> 00:30:22.860 Jason Mefford: boring would that be.
199 00:30:23.250 –> 00:30:34.140 Mohammed Issa: Right it’s it’s true but, unfortunately, and especially now, I feel like the younger generation it’s like everybody’s so afraid to give their opinion, otherwise they’re going to be.
200 00:30:35.160 –> 00:30:39.030 Mohammed Issa: trolled on Twitter or cancel I mean it’s it’s just ridiculous.
201 00:30:40.170 –> 00:30:48.510 Mohammed Issa: And it’s still harder for them to beat themselves, I remember Oscar Wilde quote like be yourself everybody else is taken.
202 00:30:48.690 –> 00:30:52.890 Jason Mefford: Right I love that that’s one of my favorite quotes it’s on my on my refrigerator.
203 00:30:52.890 –> 00:30:53.730 Jason Mefford: In the kitchen yeah.
204 00:30:53.760 –> 00:30:55.620 Mohammed Issa: yeah but.
205 00:30:56.520 –> 00:31:09.540 Mohammed Issa: I mean, are you really being yourself that I mean that’s where that’s where we that’s where we need to read ask the questions and sure we’re going to be a lot of the time is going to be hypocritical, we want to be something, but we can’t.
206 00:31:10.560 –> 00:31:20.670 Mohammed Issa: We are we pressured but it’s a process it’s an authenticity is a journey it’s a process it’s not a it’s not oh I press the button and become authentic all of a sudden.
207 00:31:21.960 –> 00:31:23.820 Jason Mefford: Were that easy right the pharmaceutical.
208 00:31:23.820 –> 00:31:26.370 Jason Mefford: yeah but he’s would have come up with a drug already for that.
209 00:31:26.490 –> 00:31:27.360 Mohammed Issa: yeah exactly.
210 00:31:27.690 –> 00:31:28.530 Mohammed Issa: yeah yeah.
211 00:31:29.100 –> 00:31:36.450 Jason Mefford: Well, no, and it’s it’s you know, maybe that’s where we can kind of spend just a couple minutes here before we before we wrap up because I think it’s it’s.
212 00:31:38.610 –> 00:31:55.800 Jason Mefford: You know that that self acceptance side of it, you know I think is is sometimes what is so hard for people and and psychologically it’s you know with cognitive dissonance if if you, you know believe two things simultaneously you end up going crazy.
213 00:31:56.040 –> 00:31:58.650 Jason Mefford: Effectively right and so.
214 00:31:59.340 –> 00:32:13.740 Jason Mefford: You know the problem is like you said a lot of times it’s you know and again when we were younger, we wanted to be cool we wanted to fit in we wanted to wear the right clothes say the right things, I mean there’s there is that tribal need.
215 00:32:14.100 –> 00:32:15.270 Mohammed Issa: For inclusion.
216 00:32:15.420 –> 00:32:30.150 Jason Mefford: Right, in fact, one of the biggest human fears is to be excluded right so that’s why i’m trying to fit in so much, but trying to fit in when you don’t really fit in causes a lot of psychological problems.
217 00:32:30.210 –> 00:32:31.800 Jason Mefford: For people as well right.
218 00:32:31.980 –> 00:32:39.990 Jason Mefford: yeah and and being honest about what it is that you really like what it is that you really need what it is that you really want.
219 00:32:40.830 –> 00:32:51.000 Jason Mefford: is like I said, sometimes you know we wait until mid life, most people wait until mid life to start asking themselves those questions, we should be asking those questions earlier as well.
220 00:32:51.030 –> 00:32:52.140 Mohammed Issa: I think I agree.
221 00:32:52.620 –> 00:33:04.740 Jason Mefford: Because that’s that’s more of the key to you know you’ve been 10 years into this journey, do you feel like you know yourself better now and you’re much more comfortable now than you were at the start of the journey.
223 00:33:09.870 –> 00:33:16.080 Mohammed Issa: i’m nowhere near close like like I would want to be, but I look at I just compare myself from where I was before.
224 00:33:17.100 –> 00:33:36.600 Mohammed Issa: and definitely and and you touched on self acceptance and I think the root the root of everything is about self love and self compassion that we I don’t know what happens to us, but when we were babies, we all love each ourselves and each other but suddenly something goes wrong and.
225 00:33:37.740 –> 00:33:41.280 Mohammed Issa: This inner inner talking comes in and we start sort of.
226 00:33:42.480 –> 00:33:44.670 Mohammed Issa: Not loving or not accepting ourselves.
227 00:33:45.930 –> 00:34:00.150 Mohammed Issa: And even through the last 10 years i’ve went through a lot of ups and downs, like my over the past, maybe three or four years, my business really went down so i’ve had to focus a lot on it and rebuild it and and even after all my.
228 00:34:01.170 –> 00:34:17.040 Mohammed Issa: Work in a work and stuff and I went through phases of my life of these months that are that are thinking why Why did I mess up what happened, I was supposed to know ABC and D what happened for me to and Why did I.
229 00:34:18.450 –> 00:34:27.060 Mohammed Issa: lose my my business touch or whatever, so I really sort of went through self loathing and and for a while and and then.
230 00:34:27.810 –> 00:34:35.880 Mohammed Issa: All of a sudden, I started working through them, it was obvious I was going to go through this path because of my obstacles when I was brought up.
231 00:34:36.240 –> 00:34:46.500 Mohammed Issa: There are certain issues which have not been resolved and and and now i’ve been resolved, and I should really be an I am not so much grateful Now for the bad times I suffered because i’m.
232 00:34:47.400 –> 00:34:59.910 Mohammed Issa: i’m a different manner and much more vulnerable I can immediately, I can tell you about on what my thoughts are maybe five years ago you criticize me i’ll be arguing with you within seconds so.
233 00:35:00.660 –> 00:35:05.940 Mohammed Issa: See you see what what the journey, does the self acceptance i’ve accepted myself.
234 00:35:06.450 –> 00:35:18.030 Mohammed Issa: i’m not perfect, all of us and we’re all human humans, after all, and we’re going to mess up we’re going to continue to mess up every month, every year, but the trick is not to do the same mistake every time right that’s that’s.
235 00:35:18.090 –> 00:35:20.670 Jason Mefford: yeah we’re trying to learn so we’re not making the same mistakes.
236 00:35:20.880 –> 00:35:23.910 Mohammed Issa: yeah yeah that’s that’s that’s the key that’s key, I think.
237 00:35:24.270 –> 00:35:32.340 Jason Mefford: Well, and that we don’t need to be hard on ourselves when we make those mistakes either right because, again, is that’s that’s where.
238 00:35:32.880 –> 00:35:37.260 Jason Mefford: You know, for me, because, especially the last couple of years i’ve been working on this more too.
239 00:35:37.860 –> 00:35:46.650 Jason Mefford: Because you know at first when when somebody like well it really all comes down to kind of self love and self acceptance, you know, five years ago, I would have said bullshit no that’s not true.
240 00:35:47.280 –> 00:35:56.760 Jason Mefford: Look, I I I don’t have a problem with that I feel like i’m fine, but then again in those periods of reflection, when I would make a mistake.
241 00:35:57.210 –> 00:36:05.940 Jason Mefford: And I would hear that internal dialogue, and I would hear how I was talking to myself, all of a sudden, it became quickly clear.
242 00:36:06.600 –> 00:36:21.570 Jason Mefford: That maybe I didn’t love myself as much as I thought I did, because what I talk to someone else that I love the same way that I was talking to myself and the answer was no right because a lot of times I was being very critical.
243 00:36:22.680 –> 00:36:29.250 Jason Mefford: of myself and instead of realizing that look mistakes are a part of life there in the past we learn from them, we grow.
244 00:36:29.700 –> 00:36:43.710 Jason Mefford: we’re probably going to make some mistakes in the future, but that’s okay right because, who I am right now is, who I need to be right now to learn the lessons that I need to learn, right now, so I can be that different person tomorrow.
245 00:36:44.580 –> 00:36:46.500 Mohammed Issa: that’s so true absolutely right yeah.
246 00:36:48.180 –> 00:36:57.930 Mohammed Issa: roomie roomie famously said, your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it that’s.
247 00:36:58.890 –> 00:37:13.290 Mohammed Issa: I mean, he wrote that I don’t know how many thousand years that’s still, the key to key to everything it’s like we what we, as I said, we were babies were gone we love each other, we love everyone there was so much love and suddenly all these obstacles grew.
248 00:37:14.460 –> 00:37:15.870 Mohammed Issa: between us and love.
249 00:37:17.160 –> 00:37:18.660 Mohammed Issa: that’s that’s that’s the key.
250 00:37:19.350 –> 00:37:23.550 Jason Mefford: reminds me because one of one of my coaches right, one of the people that’s coached me.
251 00:37:27.030 –> 00:37:34.170 Jason Mefford: reminded me again right because a lot of times we always think it’s about what we’re going to get right.
252 00:37:35.310 –> 00:37:46.440 Jason Mefford: So what am I going to get the next thing the next growth, the next whatever right and and the point was when are you going to realize it’s not about what you get.
253 00:37:47.010 –> 00:37:48.750 Jason Mefford: it’s about what you give up.
254 00:37:50.100 –> 00:38:04.230 Jason Mefford: it’s about what it’s about what you let go of right so so you bring in that about those boundaries right and so again at metaphorically right there was pink floyd’s album the wall.
255 00:38:04.680 –> 00:38:20.550 Jason Mefford: I mean that was all about this man, creating brick by brick this wall that separated him from everybody else right, and so we all are doing some of that each day, are you adding a brick to your wall, or are you taking it away.
256 00:38:21.420 –> 00:38:32.160 Jason Mefford: Because I mean that roomy quote is amazing because that’s the point right is what barriers are we putting in in our in our way to say that i’m not good enough or.
257 00:38:32.520 –> 00:38:44.760 Jason Mefford: I can’t do that I can’t have that i’m not worthy of whatever and so it’s not about what we’re getting but what do we let go of so that we can receive more.
258 00:38:45.690 –> 00:38:50.220 Mohammed Issa: yeah I like that quote by a coach and what know what we get the what we give up right yeah.
259 00:38:50.820 –> 00:38:56.700 Jason Mefford: And sometimes that’s hard you know, for me, because again it’s like What do you mean, I have to give up something.
260 00:38:57.360 –> 00:39:09.780 Jason Mefford: Well, we have to give up something to get something new right the whole idea of the classes already full can’t put any more, water and if it’s already fully you got to get rid of some of the water before you can put more in.
261 00:39:10.410 –> 00:39:15.570 Jason Mefford: that’s what we have to do, metaphorically in our in ourselves as well right.
262 00:39:15.690 –> 00:39:15.930 yep.
263 00:39:16.980 –> 00:39:17.640 Mohammed Issa: yep totally.
264 00:39:18.600 –> 00:39:21.000 Jason Mefford: Good stuff good stuff I always love talking to you.
265 00:39:21.870 –> 00:39:37.200 Jason Mefford: yeah but I know we gotta we gotta end up wrapping up because we can’t you know people got to get back to other things too, but I do always like to ask a question when I can is you know again we’ve we’ve talked as men in our mid life.
266 00:39:38.490 –> 00:39:56.190 Jason Mefford: But if you if you could go back now right if you could tell that you know 20 something mo what advice would you give them to help them in in you know, in his career and in his life, you know that you wish, you would have known back then.
267 00:39:58.170 –> 00:40:02.130 Mohammed Issa: I mean i’ve thought about that a lot and i’ll say just.
268 00:40:03.270 –> 00:40:11.160 Mohammed Issa: slow down smell the coffee smell the roses relax nothing is gonna go away, nothing is so urgent.
269 00:40:11.820 –> 00:40:19.590 Mohammed Issa: We grew up so young, like, I remember mice I want to do this, I want to go here, I want to do this and then you end up doing and doing and doing and not enjoying anything.
270 00:40:20.250 –> 00:40:33.750 Mohammed Issa: Just sort of chill relax, and I say that and I don’t mean to relax, meaning that you have no no goals, no, no, but still done nothing is going to nothing is going to go away.
271 00:40:35.190 –> 00:40:42.990 Jason Mefford: No, and when we because it’s the same way, I mean again we’re we’re both at the point where or kids or adults and it’s.
272 00:40:43.500 –> 00:40:53.970 Jason Mefford: You know how many times have I heard of parents say oh I I just can’t wait until they grow up and then so many parents once they grow up it’s like Oh, I wish the kids were little again right.
273 00:40:54.690 –> 00:40:56.970 Jason Mefford: it’s it’s almost like you know.
274 00:40:57.060 –> 00:40:58.140 Mohammed Issa: that’s me that’s me.
275 00:40:59.310 –> 00:40:59.640 Jason Mefford: Talking.
276 00:41:00.270 –> 00:41:03.060 Jason Mefford: yeah but it’s it’s it’s.
277 00:41:04.140 –> 00:41:11.760 Jason Mefford: You know yeah to just slow down and realize that everything’s okay it’s you know you’re not going to miss out your.
278 00:41:12.090 –> 00:41:17.130 Jason Mefford: Your on exactly that hat that you need to be on and and what’s again interesting is.
279 00:41:17.250 –> 00:41:26.400 Jason Mefford: You know how many there’s there’s tons of stories about this, where people are working and working and working and working so hard right and then, finally, they.
280 00:41:26.760 –> 00:41:42.450 Jason Mefford: They burn out they do whatever they have to step back and then all of a sudden boom right some inspiration comes to them something ends up working its way out, but they never would have gotten that if they didn’t continued in that rat race.
281 00:41:43.320 –> 00:41:47.010 Jason Mefford: And so it’s you know slowing down and relaxing.
282 00:41:48.360 –> 00:41:50.370 Jason Mefford: I gotta keep reminding myself to do that too.
283 00:41:51.360 –> 00:41:51.780 yeah.
284 00:41:53.400 –> 00:41:54.300 Mohammed Issa: yeah yeah.
285 00:41:55.440 –> 00:42:01.080 Jason Mefford: Well, this has been great thanks thanks for coming on like I said I always love talking to you, I appreciate you.
286 00:42:02.640 –> 00:42:08.940 Jason Mefford: How can people reach you how’s the best way for people to get hold of you and be able to get on your newsletter and see when your new book is coming out.
287 00:42:09.720 –> 00:42:11.340 Mohammed Issa: yep anyway thanks.
288 00:42:12.480 –> 00:42:16.200 Mohammed Issa: thanks for the speaking and and I really enjoy our conversations as well.
289 00:42:17.550 –> 00:42:22.650 Mohammed Issa: my blog is more dash isa.com.
290 00:42:23.670 –> 00:42:27.900 Mohammed Issa: Mozart idol is a.com and.
291 00:42:28.590 –> 00:42:32.580 Mohammed Issa: instagram and Facebook it’s at more dash ISA.
292 00:42:33.120 –> 00:42:33.420 Okay.
293 00:42:34.860 –> 00:42:44.940 Mohammed Issa: yeah and yeah the news, the news that I go on the blog you just got it yeah my new book, hopefully, will be available next year, so.
294 00:42:46.140 –> 00:42:49.020 Mohammed Issa: i’m hoping middle of next year, so let’s see what happens.
295 00:42:49.380 –> 00:42:53.760 Jason Mefford: yeah I know it’s been good, and like I said yeah reach reach out to him he’s been.
296 00:42:55.050 –> 00:42:59.340 Jason Mefford: And don’t wait to get as old as we are before you start thinking about some of these things.
297 00:43:00.270 –> 00:43:08.850 Jason Mefford: Because then life has passed you by and, and again I mean it’s you know i’ve been on the path i’m supposed to be on because it’s made me who I am.
298 00:43:09.390 –> 00:43:17.670 Jason Mefford: But there’s there’s a reason why some of the older people try to help give advice to younger people too, because we don’t want you to make some of the same mistakes we did.
299 00:43:18.690 –> 00:43:20.700 Jason Mefford: If you don’t have to write as well, so.
300 00:43:21.930 –> 00:43:27.600 Jason Mefford: Well, thank you probably have to have you back again, but thanks and we’ll see you later.
301 00:43:28.590 –> 00:43:31.050 Mohammed Issa: Thanks thanks take care, have a good weekend thanks.
Jason Mefford was interviewed by Sam Osbourne from The School of Self Worth about life long learning from the inside out. So much packed into this video
In this Episode of the FCPA Compliance Report, Tom Fox is joined by Jason Mefford, a top thought leader in internal audit, risk managment, compliance, and internal controls. We discuss his podcast Jamming with Jason, his online academy cRisk Academy and a unified theory of risk management. Highlights include:
Why he began his podcast.
How professionals consume information and content in 2021.
Dictators use fear and violence to get people to do what they want. Most corporate leaders are taught to use fear and punishment, and have a command and control, dictator-like style.
Why???
Because that’s what they’ve been taught.
And I get it. That’s what I was taught too.
Is it possible to be a nice person and still be an effective leader?
Of course it is, and it’s a lot less stressful and much more productive too.
Read my latest post (link above), and listen to this week’s Jamming with Jason episode to find out how.
What’s the difference between a third-world country dictator and a traditional leader in the corporate world?
ANSWER: Not much. Ba, dum, dum.
Bad joke, but serious message.
Dictators use fear and violence to get people to do what they want. Most corporate leaders are taught to use fear and punishment, and have a command and control, dictator-like style.
Why???
Because that’s what they’ve been taught you have to do to be successful.
And I get it. That’s what I was taught too.
Is it possible to be a nice person and still be an effective leader? Of course it is, and it’s a lot less stressful and much more productive too.
What’s the difference between a traditional leader and one who is intuitive and authentic?
Their power source. One is internal, the other is external. Can you guess which is which? (hint… it’s why dictators wear military uniforms).
Whether you realize it or not, true leadership comes from the inside out.
But can you be effective and still be nice and kind to those around you?
Absolutely, the world is full of examples of leaders who place love, care, and concern on how they treat people above checking the box. I’m sure a few people came to your mind as you read this.
In fact, research demonstrates that even when leaders think they are controlling their team they are lucky to get 20 hours of actually work in a 40 hour work week… even when they are cracking the metaphorical whip. That’s pathetic and wrong. Nobody deserves to be whipped, physically or emotionally.
You attract more flies with honey than vinegar. Same is true for your team.
It’s time to leave the old broken model of corporate command and control, dictator leadership behind and start adopting better leadership styles that promote a better work culture, is more authentic, loving, and honestly much more productive and profitable, without all the stress and frustration (for you and your team).
If you are trying to control, manipulate, and use fear and punishment to get people to do what you want, you really aren’t much different than a petty dictator that uses military force or violence to get your way.
And I totally understand. In the corporate world you are trained to be tough and believe things like “it’s not personal, it’s just business” but every time you act that way you feel horrible inside. Chance are you might hate your job or hate yourself for doing and saying some of the things you are taught or told you “have to do.” I know I have.
Listen to this Jamming with Jason podcast to learn how you can switch from an external focused leader to an internal focuses leader, since…
The doing is only as good as the BEing doing the doing. Think about that.
That’s exactly why some leaders are so confident and effective, while others who do the same exact things struggle. Who you are BEing comes from who you are inside (your internal power), which translates into how you do.
Get a VIP pass and behind the scenes information when you sign up for The Jamming with Jason newsletter: http://eepurl.com/hBULH5
I was talking with someone this last week who applied for a job in internal audit, but didn’t get the job because she couldn’t prove she had agile auditing skills.
I’ve been tell you for a while that agile auditing skills are in high demand.
Even though she told the organization she was familiar and knew how to do agile auditing, it wasn’t enough to get her the job.
People don’t care what you say, they want to see action and proof. Certifications are proof.
That’s why she just signed up for the Certified Agile Auditor Professional (cAAP) certification course. She isn’t about to let that happen again.
Are you going to let that happen to you?
cRisk Academy has several modern certification courses you can earn it 1-2 weeks instead of 2-5 years, including:
Why put your career on hold while you struggle to get a traditional certification? It could cost you $100K++ in lower salary over your career to do that.
Having a certification on your resume and LinkedIn profile is proof to future employers that you’ve got what it takes.
And, getting that next job usually means A LOT more money, so this is an investment in YOUR future earnings.
So which certification is right for you?
And as a musical reminder that your words don’t prove anything, listen to Berlin’s “No More Words” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIb9QUGjdIc
With adult responsibilities, bills to pay, jobs to commute to and children to raise, sometimes we forget to have fun and actually PLAY! Today’s episode will be about getting in touch with a very under-nurtured ego state: the child! So lets relax and grow together as we get in touch with our inner child.
1 00:00:00.930 –> 00:00:05.370 Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of the fire and earth podcast i’m your co host Jason method.
2 00:00:05.609 –> 00:00:12.120 Kathy Gruver: And I am Kathy gruver and i’m so excited about this episode today because we’re talking about one of my favorite things play.
3 00:00:12.780 –> 00:00:15.540 Jason Mefford: play and wants to talk about that.
4 00:00:16.170 –> 00:00:17.970 Kathy Gruver: We all should it’s so important, it.
5 00:00:17.970 –> 00:00:27.750 Jason Mefford: helps us regenerate our brain it helps decrease stress it helps us get in touch with an ego state that often so forgotten as we’re an adult so I just i’m so excited to talk about this.
6 00:00:28.560 –> 00:00:38.670 Jason Mefford: Well, it does, because I think there’s there’s a saying that I try to remind myself of all work and no play makes Jason a very boring boy right.
7 00:00:39.180 –> 00:00:49.680 Jason Mefford: And in a lot of times, again, I mean we get to be adults we’ve got responsibilities we’ve got a job we’ve got businesses to run with taxes to pay, whatever it is right.
8 00:00:50.970 –> 00:00:53.190 Jason Mefford: That we end up forgetting.
9 00:00:54.330 –> 00:01:01.800 Jason Mefford: To be childlike and to fire right and I remember, I think it was Picasso it says something to this effect of.
10 00:01:02.700 –> 00:01:16.890 Jason Mefford: You know, because his his paintings and everything were so childlike and his point was the whole point of being an artist is to try to tap into that and began in be like a child again.
11 00:01:17.280 –> 00:01:21.840 Jason Mefford: Right and so that’s kind of what we’re talking about one of the ways to do that is play.
12 00:01:21.930 –> 00:01:22.230 So.
13 00:01:23.670 –> 00:01:29.520 Kathy Gruver: yay well, and you know we are multiplicity beings we have different aspects.
14 00:01:29.940 –> 00:01:36.450 Kathy Gruver: of ourselves, and you know we’ve talked so much about ego states Mike mendell talked about ego states, you and I just had a whole episode on ego states.
15 00:01:36.660 –> 00:01:44.250 Kathy Gruver: If you aren’t familiar with that go listen to that episode it’s basically saying that we have these different aspects of our personality and one of them is little kid.
16 00:01:44.550 –> 00:01:53.460 Kathy Gruver: And that part of ourselves, has to be nurtured, especially if it was scared or if it felt abandoned back when we were a child it’s important to let that part out to play.
17 00:01:53.820 –> 00:02:01.080 Kathy Gruver: And it was a couple weeks ago and I texted my boyfriend and we talked about ego States all the time, so we he’s very familiar with this language.
18 00:02:01.380 –> 00:02:09.090 Kathy Gruver: And I texted him, it was a Monday and I said I just need to acknowledge that my little kid really feels neglected.
19 00:02:09.510 –> 00:02:19.110 Kathy Gruver: She really feels like she wants to come out and play and we’ve been doing way too much adult and i’m in the middle of a rifai i’m in the middle of buying out my extra mark condo i’m in the middle, you know all this adult stuff.
20 00:02:19.350 –> 00:02:30.810 Kathy Gruver: And so, he wrote back i’ve got to taking care of him, so I get home that night and he says so we’re gonna have dinner, I went okay we’re gonna finish watching one episode of this thing we were watching he goes and then.
21 00:02:32.130 –> 00:02:33.300 Jason Mefford: we’re gonna get played.
22 00:02:34.590 –> 00:02:37.020 Kathy Gruver: Because we have this so we pulled out the Plato.
23 00:02:37.470 –> 00:02:44.880 Kathy Gruver: And we sat at the table and I made a mess and we just made my stuff look like shit and it didn’t matter, I made a cat that looks so horrible.
24 00:02:45.000 –> 00:02:47.580 Kathy Gruver: He was really good dog, it was really a minute wrap I don’t know what he did.
25 00:02:47.730 –> 00:02:57.630 Kathy Gruver: He was much better than me but it wasn’t about that it was about just playing, and you, we were just we’ve made these things, and then we pulled up glow sticks and then we made stuff with the glow sticks and the Plato and then we took to.
26 00:02:58.020 –> 00:03:02.970 Kathy Gruver: turn the lights off and we made loops with the glow sticks and we throw around the room and we just we had so much fun.
27 00:03:03.450 –> 00:03:11.970 Kathy Gruver: And it just it completely regenerated me it completely decrease my stress for that hour hour and a half, I forgot about all that adult thing that I had to do.
28 00:03:12.300 –> 00:03:19.860 Kathy Gruver: It was so much fun and I love that i’m in a partnership with someone who can bring those aspects out in me find someone you can play with.
29 00:03:20.370 –> 00:03:28.770 Jason Mefford: yeah well and it’s it’s interesting because you know when you when you think about I do a lot with teaching people how to learn as well right so.
30 00:03:29.910 –> 00:03:40.650 Jason Mefford: So why do you suppose that kids learn so quickly, why kids develop so quickly part of the reason is their curiosity.
31 00:03:41.100 –> 00:03:53.880 Jason Mefford: And their play right and so again, I mean you think about you know i’ve got four kids from one marriage to from another I so i’ve had lots of kids that i’ve observed my own and other kids as well right.
32 00:03:54.630 –> 00:04:02.820 Jason Mefford: Well, why do kids play House well kids play house to learn how to be an adult right.
33 00:04:03.810 –> 00:04:22.140 Jason Mefford: And so, even the more fun, we have as we’re learning the more curious, we are in life in general right, the more we’re going to learn, but we also said, I mean just what you, you know what you just talked about there with the Plato and the glow sticks for an hour and a half.
34 00:04:22.320 –> 00:04:33.480 Jason Mefford: You were mindful, you were in the present for that hour and a half as well, so play can also help us just forget about everything else and.
35 00:04:33.480 –> 00:04:39.390 Jason Mefford: Just focus in on what it is that we’re doing at that time, which is playing.
36 00:04:39.600 –> 00:04:44.490 Jason Mefford: yeah pressing in playing also moves us up in the emotional scale.
37 00:04:44.850 –> 00:04:49.560 Kathy Gruver: yeah it totally does and it’s just it’s just so regenerating.
38 00:04:49.740 –> 00:05:00.600 Kathy Gruver: I mean, it was the best vacation I mean it was just this it was just a complete break from stress and the other thing that can get first for us capricorn and us, you know i’m capricorn and the ego state sense, not the.
39 00:05:01.110 –> 00:05:09.090 Kathy Gruver: zodiac sense but, for you know we are so used to having to be serious and adult and not screw around and not play make sure your judge doesn’t come in.
40 00:05:09.570 –> 00:05:16.710 Kathy Gruver: Because I did have that problem like I did this cat and I went oh that’s terrible it was awful years look so much better than me not playing at that point.
41 00:05:17.610 –> 00:05:18.810 Kathy Gruver: Tell the judge to go away.
42 00:05:18.930 –> 00:05:19.530 Jason Mefford: go away.
43 00:05:20.190 –> 00:05:31.500 Kathy Gruver: it’s not about doing it right it’s just about doing it color outside the frickin lines you know and that’s where sometimes like dance class, for me, is still play, but it’s also very competitive, for me, because I want to get it right.
44 00:05:32.280 –> 00:05:37.860 Kathy Gruver: You know, there are times, where once I have the routine down i’m just dancing to the music and not thinking about making it look good.
45 00:05:39.000 –> 00:05:54.000 Kathy Gruver: So you know, make sure your play stays play it’s great if you’re doing a dodgeball game, except if you become so competitive, you have to win it’s no longer play at that point, it becomes a task so you know, make sure you keep all the other egos dates out and just play for a while.
46 00:05:54.780 –> 00:06:11.250 Jason Mefford: Well there’s a lot of different ways to play as well right, and so I mean again, you can you can literally do like some really kitty things like playing with Plato and glowsticks great right going outside and playing with lizards or whatever right okay oh you got bubbles as well.
47 00:06:11.670 –> 00:06:12.210 world.
48 00:06:13.440 –> 00:06:18.900 Jason Mefford: But you know, this time of the year, we have a lot of a lot of people in our families birthdays around the.
49 00:06:18.900 –> 00:06:21.780 Jason Mefford: same time so last night.
50 00:06:22.890 –> 00:06:34.830 Jason Mefford: Excuse me, we were actually playing games right as as part of it, and so again, you know, whatever whatever you like cards against humanity well that’s gonna be fun that gets your play in right.
51 00:06:34.830 –> 00:06:35.310 Kathy Gruver: Because it’s.
52 00:06:36.060 –> 00:06:42.090 Jason Mefford: One of my one of my friends calls it it’s bullshit in the box, you can sell bullshit in the box.
53 00:06:43.230 –> 00:06:43.740 Jason Mefford: I love.
54 00:06:43.860 –> 00:06:47.280 Jason Mefford: I love you it’s a great game right we did this other one, I think.
55 00:06:47.910 –> 00:07:02.640 Jason Mefford: Let me my wife bought one called beat that or something like that, where it’s all these different little things like last night, we had to use chopsticks to pick up dice and stack the dice or we had you know you have to that cups, but you can only use your elbows to move the cups.
56 00:07:02.640 –> 00:07:04.080 Kathy Gruver: Right love stuff like that.
57 00:07:04.140 –> 00:07:14.340 Jason Mefford: Oh it’s all just like silly little stuff but, again, it it gets us away from whatever else we’re doing it allows us to play.
58 00:07:14.790 –> 00:07:26.550 Jason Mefford: Usually you’re gonna laugh when you’re playing that reduce releases all those different you know chemicals in your body as well and it moves you up the the the emotional scale.
59 00:07:26.730 –> 00:07:31.770 Jason Mefford: Right so again if you’re if you’re feeling down a little bit or you know, like you were you were saying.
60 00:07:33.510 –> 00:07:41.070 Jason Mefford: Yesterday, or whatever it was right my little girl needs to come out you were realizing you you acknowledged and realized, you were feeling kind of heavy.
61 00:07:41.460 –> 00:07:44.160 Jason Mefford: i’ve been too much of an adult I need to be a little kid.
62 00:07:44.400 –> 00:07:47.370 Jason Mefford: For an hour and a half and the difference that that made for you.
63 00:07:48.420 –> 00:07:52.470 Kathy Gruver: Well, and I was telling you before we got on the air I just did a really great workshop through.
64 00:07:53.400 –> 00:08:02.460 Kathy Gruver: The International coaching federation, and it was and I forget the man’s name I apologize, but he did a talk on stress and resilience.
65 00:08:02.940 –> 00:08:16.500 Kathy Gruver: And he was talking about things that are a brain drain versus a brain game, and one of the things that was a brain game was kids mainly because of the play, they are also a brain drain, so they were in both.
67 00:08:17.250 –> 00:08:19.440 Kathy Gruver: But he was talking about how you know playing.
68 00:08:20.010 –> 00:08:26.940 Kathy Gruver: You know changes are changing our brain function, we use a different part of our brain and it actually one of those ways to regenerate.
69 00:08:27.210 –> 00:08:39.840 Kathy Gruver: And he was talking about how you know we’re really only made to work for 90 to 120 minutes before our brain just goes i’m out so if you can stop and play you know play with dice or play with bubbles, or you know we’ve done our what’s on our desk thing.
70 00:08:40.170 –> 00:08:43.470 Kathy Gruver: And both of us have so many things that are just sort of kid like and playful.
71 00:08:43.710 –> 00:08:55.110 Kathy Gruver: So it’s like you know your brain needs it you’re not going to be as productive if you just try to power through so you must will take a break and play with something fun yeah we’ve got a rubber ball that occasionally we bounce around the House we’ve got.
72 00:08:55.140 –> 00:08:55.950 Jason Mefford: Oh, I love these things.
73 00:08:56.280 –> 00:09:01.440 Kathy Gruver: We have the we have so much stuff to play, we have the rubber balls which is great except when you bang them.
74 00:09:01.800 –> 00:09:03.030 Jason Mefford: They will they light up to.
75 00:09:03.330 –> 00:09:11.430 Kathy Gruver: So you know we’ll throw these back and forth in the dark and we just have so much fun and it doesn’t have to be a long thing it doesn’t have to take some huge huge investment of money.
76 00:09:12.270 –> 00:09:16.680 Kathy Gruver: It does just have to be something that gets you out of yourself that takes you out of that adult thing.
77 00:09:16.920 –> 00:09:27.870 Kathy Gruver: Because we do so much of that and, especially, like we don’t have kids so we don’t get to get down on the floor and play legos or play matchbox cars or those things we have to create that for ourselves.
78 00:09:28.200 –> 00:09:31.950 Kathy Gruver: And as the kids get older I know you’re probably not down on the floor with your son.
79 00:09:32.250 –> 00:09:33.780 Jason Mefford: Because they’re all gone they’re out of the House.
80 00:09:34.950 –> 00:09:38.880 Jason Mefford: And they come over we’ll play games, you know, maybe kind of thing yeah it’s.
81 00:09:39.060 –> 00:09:48.360 Kathy Gruver: yeah so figure out what and I love what you said about you know board games can be great or there’s so many so many games, now that aren’t you know we have what monopoly clue in life when we were kids.
82 00:09:48.630 –> 00:09:49.530 Kathy Gruver: Now there’s all these like.
83 00:09:49.980 –> 00:09:59.370 Kathy Gruver: Excuse me like interactive games, where you know, like pictionary and it was what used to be called like clay clay something where you had to sculpt it, it was.
84 00:09:59.400 –> 00:10:00.480 Jason Mefford: In scope written.
85 00:10:00.720 –> 00:10:05.670 Kathy Gruver: Plato and it was pictionary but you had to sculpt stuff and everything look like a penis That was the answer to everything.
86 00:10:06.900 –> 00:10:14.730 Kathy Gruver: Because we’re playing we’re getting goofy and you know kids like to laugh about farts and poop and you know so it’s like just get silly tell jokes to think tell jokes just laugh.
87 00:10:15.450 –> 00:10:18.360 Jason Mefford: Well, and it’s funny too, because, as you know, a lot of times.
88 00:10:19.920 –> 00:10:22.350 Jason Mefford: When we’re in our adult ego state.
89 00:10:23.370 –> 00:10:30.090 Jason Mefford: You know, we say things like you were talking about your judge you judge came in and said oh that cat wasn’t very good right.
90 00:10:30.720 –> 00:10:42.570 Jason Mefford: And and in really play and play as a way of taking time for ourselves as well okay so it’s it’s a bit of self love self care.
91 00:10:43.320 –> 00:11:04.710 Jason Mefford: In doing that, and like you said you know, taking a half an hour to do something that is non adult non productive non business related will charge you up and you’ll get more done when you go back then, if you try to power through I mean again there’s lots of studies done on productivity.
92 00:11:05.430 –> 00:11:10.290 Jason Mefford: On this, you know yeah it’s it’s anywhere from it kind of varies between 20.
93 00:11:10.710 –> 00:11:26.670 Jason Mefford: To 120 minutes you need to take breaks in there right we’ve talked about taking breaks before yeah in earlier podcast but yeah, why not do some things that you know, make it fun for you put on some music and dance around.
94 00:11:26.670 –> 00:11:28.560 Jason Mefford: For five minutes you know.
95 00:11:29.550 –> 00:11:39.270 Jason Mefford: You know, pull out the Plato, the rubik’s cube you know i’ve got a Ruby whatever whatever it is that works for you just take some time to play.
96 00:11:39.600 –> 00:11:39.900 yeah.
97 00:11:41.490 –> 00:11:55.140 Kathy Gruver: Oh, is this you or maybe it’s a silly costume you know I love, because I was a theater person I still have bins of costumes people still to this day call me and go, do you have a blah blah blah and nine times out of 10 I have it, do you have a magic wand, of course, I do, I mean come on.
98 00:11:56.250 –> 00:11:59.250 Jason Mefford: You know and tonight beside costume business for Halloween like.
99 00:11:59.520 –> 00:12:04.350 Kathy Gruver: I know seriously I have so many costumes people always call me for that, but it’s like to me it’s.
100 00:12:04.350 –> 00:12:05.610 Kathy Gruver: fun and there was one night.
101 00:12:05.760 –> 00:12:10.890 Kathy Gruver: We just pulled out all the costumes and just dressed up in the House and, just like to play dress up like kids do.
102 00:12:11.130 –> 00:12:15.060 Kathy Gruver: You know it’s just it’s so freeing and it’s I love that I have a partner that I can do that with.
103 00:12:15.270 –> 00:12:23.910 Kathy Gruver: And that we’re both we’re both only children we both grew up just sitting around talking to ourselves, so now we get to talk to ourselves with another person and just go back to that playfulness and.
104 00:12:24.240 –> 00:12:31.560 Kathy Gruver: You know it’s just it’s so it has to be whatever works for you, if you’re not into putting in costumes and being goofy around the House don’t pick that one.
105 00:12:31.920 –> 00:12:43.860 Kathy Gruver: You know, make sure it’s something that you resonate with maybe it is Plato, you know, think about what you got to do as a kid and you know bubbles you can’t help a giggle when there’s bubbles in the room, I mean it’s just you just can’t help it it’s the greatest thing ever so.
106 00:12:44.700 –> 00:12:47.160 Jason Mefford: Well, and even I mean even watching a funny movie.
107 00:12:47.250 –> 00:12:52.950 Jason Mefford: yeah right it’s a form of play, because again it’s going to be you’re going to be laughing you’re going to be doing other stuff but you know.
108 00:12:53.310 –> 00:13:00.150 Jason Mefford: there’s even some other other things like you know, as it was all the rage for a little while the adult coloring books.
109 00:13:00.600 –> 00:13:18.000 Jason Mefford: You know, because it was the same thing, it was you know your coloring within the lines you’re making a piece of art, but but you’re still focusing on and being mindful in that particular moment of what you’re doing focusing on that it’s a creative outlet and it’s fun or it’s relaxing.
110 00:13:18.030 –> 00:13:20.340 Jason Mefford: Right so again as you’re thinking about play.
111 00:13:20.940 –> 00:13:34.410 Jason Mefford: Think about ways that you can either you know get yourself all excited and start laughing and being goofy or maybe other ways, because another way of play is kind of calming and piecing yourself out to a little bit.
112 00:13:34.410 –> 00:13:40.980 Jason Mefford: Sure, and both of those actually serve you in you know releasing whatever’s going on.
113 00:13:41.130 –> 00:13:45.570 Jason Mefford: release the ego state just be in that other state for a little while.
114 00:13:45.900 –> 00:13:51.990 Jason Mefford: And then, when you go back you’re going to be more charged I love that brain drain versus brain gain activities.
115 00:13:52.380 –> 00:13:56.130 Jason Mefford: And more brain gain activities you engage in.
116 00:13:57.450 –> 00:13:58.680 Jason Mefford: The better your life is going to be.
117 00:13:59.010 –> 00:14:03.150 Kathy Gruver: yeah absolutely and maybe it’s a puzzle maybe it’s paint by number, you know, whatever works for you.
118 00:14:03.330 –> 00:14:03.720 Jason Mefford: You know.
119 00:14:05.340 –> 00:14:06.870 Kathy Gruver: I don’t want to go to work now, I want to play.
120 00:14:08.130 –> 00:14:10.050 Jason Mefford: You got some Plato right there you might as well pick it up and.
122 00:14:11.820 –> 00:14:14.040 Kathy Gruver: I know i’m gonna play with the bubbles bubbles in the cat.
123 00:14:14.850 –> 00:14:17.580 Jason Mefford: yeah well it’s like the cat wants to play today anyway so.
124 00:14:20.100 –> 00:14:21.510 Kathy Gruver: Thanks i’m out of that ego state now.
125 00:14:21.570 –> 00:14:22.110 Jason Mefford: yeah okay.
126 00:14:23.340 –> 00:14:24.270 Kathy Gruver: There goes a little kid.
127 00:14:26.160 –> 00:14:35.040 Kathy Gruver: I think this is great, and we do there’s not a lot of deep information here for everybody, but you know if this gives you permission to go be goofy for a second or silly or make faces in the mirror just go and do that thing.
128 00:14:35.250 –> 00:14:46.260 Kathy Gruver: Just be free, have a great day work some plan encourage other people to play this is why I love magic you know watch some magic shows on TV or something, and you know just be in that moment be present.
129 00:14:46.830 –> 00:14:54.390 Jason Mefford: That curiosity that sense of awareness of amazement and wonder that is so childlike yeah.
130 00:14:54.900 –> 00:15:04.500 Kathy Gruver: Exactly cool all right, everybody go out and play, let us know how it goes, you can always email us or or leave notes in the you know, like leave reviews on our show and tell us how your play went today so.
131 00:15:04.590 –> 00:15:07.200 Kathy Gruver: i’m Kathy gruver I can be reached at Kathy Griffin calm.
132 00:15:07.590 –> 00:15:17.670 Jason Mefford: And i’m Jason effort, I can be reached at Jason method calm so go out play have fun blow some bubbles do whatever whatever relates to you.
133 00:15:18.450 –> 00:15:22.560 Jason Mefford: And we’ll catch you on the next episode of the fire and earth podcast see ya.
The two little words: “and” and “but” seem similar, but there are actually some very different times when you will want to use either one or the other to be effective as a leader and a communicator…
and when you get it wrong there can be some painful repercussions.
Literally an errant “but” could land your butt in hot water.
Stay out of hot water, and improve your communication confidence and influence by learning this simple Jedi mind trick I share on “reversing your buts.”
